Mortifying Moments

DarkJager wrote:

I was out in Limerick one afternoon and ended up getting blind drunk very early in the day... As we stumbled on our way down to abrakebabra I stopped to take a p*ss against the window of a shop (yes I know, in broad daylight). As I was draining the snake I felt someone grab my arm and ask me if I was ok. I turned around but forgot to turn off the hose. It took about 10 seconds before I realised I was still pissing, but at this stage the poor victim was soaked through.... And just to make that worse, it was a grandmother out for the day with her grandchildren

layke wrote:

About 2 years ago I took a girlie I liked out on a date (met her through a friend of a friend), just a few drinks nothing fancy. Anyway the night started normal enough with a bit of flirting, some touching of the arm, the usual signals this was going right.

After a good few drinks she starts telling me about how she and her friend were having a dance in a well known nightclub in Dublin. When half way through the song they started having sex on the dance floor and she explained in graphic detail. Eventually the DJ copped it and made a show of them. Now as you can imagine at this point i'm a little bit freaked out by her attitude that this was all normal but manage to give a very convincing fake laugh.

So about an hour later and a few too many glasses of Whiskey she turns to me and says "Do you know about the power of the vagina?". I stopped half way through my drink and stared over with what I imagine would look like a 'WTF are you talking about' expression. Suddenly she stands up reaches into her handbag pulls out a book with a big vag painted on the front (all artsy loike) entitled 'The power of the vagina' and rams it 2 inches in front of my face. Then the she proceeded to preach like gospel the 'power of the vagina' to me, oh yes, she was loud too.

Now, i'm an easy going bloke but something inside me said 'Ok time to go, just go to the toilet, have a piss and then drop her home'. So I made my excuses and bounced off the walls towards those few moments of sanity.

So the biz was done, time to go back and get the crazy vag lady and get rid of her only she wasn't at her seat anymore. She had gone over to the Barmen and started preaching the 'power of the vagina at them' book out and all. So I got my coat on came over and told her were going and made a quick esacpe. You could have seen my glowing red head about a mile down the road.

After hailing a taxi down she then started talking loudly once again about blowjobs and carpet munching. Oh I can still remember sinking into my seat.
Last thing I heard from her before the taxi left was "So your going to call me about dinner right?"

Of course after a month of avoiding her text messages I bump into her in Spirit with friends but got out of there sharpish.






Man a lot of references to vag in that post.