Mortifying Moments

Mrs_Doyle

So yesterday evening, I'm driving home from work on my little scooter, going about 40miles per hour, and I slow down as I approach the lights.

I come to halt about 3 cars from the top, and a nice little line of traffic forms behind me.

Nothin particularly unusual about that, its 5.15, everyones on the way home from work.

The light turns green and traffic starts to roll forward. I rev up, or at least, I try to rev up. My scooter has decided its going no where.

It very slowly rolls forward. I start to panic, cos I can't go anywhere, and there is a fairly big line of traffic stuck behind me.

I can't pull in to my left, as traffic is flowing heavily forward (I was waiting to turn right), I can't pull into the right, as traffic is flowing pretty heavily in the opposite direction.

I have no choice but to crawl forward, and pull in once I've turned.

It was at the time of my realisation that everyone behind me decided to start going crazy.

They were beeping their horns, and all I could do was gesture and apology and continue to crawl forward.

At about 10miles an hour I ventured up the road, through the lights and made my turn.

Just as I got through the lights, they turned red, and everyone who had been behind me got stuck at them (once again).

They decided to show me how upset this made them by beeping their horns furiously.

Mortified? Me? Eh yeah! I just wanted to find a great big hole and crawl into it.

Anyhow, just though I'd share my cringe worthy moment with ya. Anyone got any good ones they wanna share?

Slow Motion

Told this one in another thread but in case you missed it.......

Many moons ago when I was about 19, going out on a first date with a girl, we were sitting at a table in the pub and we were about half way through our first drink when I decided to go to the loo. As I got up I whacked my knee of the table knocking it and our drinks over, as I reflexively backed a way I knocked the table behind me over with about four peoples drinks on it. As I was backing away from that table and profusely apologising I backed into another table knocking their drinks all over them. Three tables over with only half a pint taken and I didn't get a drop on myself. Amazingly we went out for four years after that.

petes

Mrs_Doyle wrote:

They were beeping their horns, and all I could do was gesture and apology and continue to crawl forward.

Gesture an apology? Mine would have been to slowly raise my middle finger at them!!

petes

Slow Motion wrote:

Told this one in another thread but in case you missed it.......

Many moons ago when I was about 19, going out on a first date with a girl, we were sitting at a table in the pub and we were about half way through our first drink when I decided to go to the loo. As I got up I whacked my knee of the table knocking it and our drinks over, as I reflexively backed a way I knocked the table behind me over with about four peoples drinks on it. As I was backing away from that table and profusely apologising I backed into another table knocking their drinks all over them. Three tables over with only half a pint taken and I didn't get a drop on myself. Amazingly we went out for four years after that.

I love that. Spill a load of drinks and not a drop manages to hit you!!

Slow Motion

petes wrote:

I love that. Spill a load of drinks and not a drop manages to hit you!!

One of my worst moments and yet one of my finest hours !

On a date with a guy I really liked which was going brilliantly, had two glasses of wine (which i sipped until around 11) and the guy the ordered a bottle of wine which was followed by two more
we were chatting so much that we drank so fast and i was pissed by the end of the night which resulted in me throwing up in his toilet
I was MORTIFIED !!
thankfully no harm was done and the funny side was seen

Gazza22

Time: Two weeks ago

The Location: National Aquatic Centre, Dublin

The Crime: Deciding to try "Flow Rider", an interactive surfing simulator with very high powered water jets.

And...Well ye see my shorts went exactly tight around the waist, i fly down the slope of my board, next thing i know is getting blasted off the board, up the ramp and finding my shorts nearly blown down to my ankles onfront of an audience of innocent children...Cant help but laugh about it now...

National Aquatic Centre wrote:

Parents, daughters and sons can experience the thrill of riding a wave in a safe and controlled environment

:mad:

stovelid

Slow Motion wrote:

Told this one in another thread but in case you missed it.......

Many moons ago when I was about 19, going out on a first date with a girl, we were sitting at a table in the pub and we were about half way through our first drink when I decided to go to the loo. As I got up I whacked my knee of the table knocking it and our drinks over, as I reflexively backed a way I knocked the table behind me over with about four peoples drinks on it. As I was backing away from that table and profusely apologising I backed into another table knocking their drinks all over them. Three tables over with only half a pint taken and I didn't get a drop on myself. Amazingly we went out for four years after that.

Did you have to pay for them all?

skywalker

Mrs_Doyle wrote:

So yesterday evening, I'm driving home from work on my little scooter, going about 40miles per hour, and I slow down as I approach the lights.

I come to halt about 3 cars from the top, and a nice little line of traffic forms behind me.

Nothin particularly unusual about that, its 5.15, everyones on the way home from work.

The light turns green and traffic starts to roll forward. I rev up, or at least, I try to rev up. My scooter has decided its going no where.

It very slowly rolls forward. I start to panic, cos I can't go anywhere, and there is a fairly big line of traffic stuck behind me.

I can't pull in to my left, as traffic is flowing heavily forward (I was waiting to turn right), I can't pull into the right, as traffic is flowing pretty heavily in the opposite direction.

I have no choice but to crawl forward, and pull in once I've turned.

It was at the time of my realisation that everyone behind me decided to start going crazy.

They were beeping their horns, and all I could do was gesture and apology and continue to crawl forward.

At about 10miles an hour I ventured up the road, through the lights and made my turn.

Just as I got through the lights, they turned red, and everyone who had been behind me got stuck at them (once again).

They decided to show me how upset this made them by beeping their horns furiously.

Mortified? Me? Eh yeah! I just wanted to find a great big hole and crawl into it.

Anyhow, just though I'd share my cringe worthy moment with ya. Anyone got any good ones they wanna share?

I can never understand people beeping at folks who've obviously stalled their car or are having car trouble. Its never going to make them go any faster, its only going to make them panic & stall more. Dont worry about the assholes of this world, they will always be there.

Peter Collins

A good few years back I was taking a shortcut home from a niteclub locked....

Hopped up on this wall to get over it and across a main road...problem was it had these decorative rocks on the top.

As I climbed down the other side, the back of my shirt hooked around one of these rocks and I was left suspended from the wall, frantically trying to unhook myself as cars passed by blowing the horns and laughing

GreenHell

How did you get down?

Steyr

Going fishing in Salthill ( Galway ) when i was 15 and on the rocks when something bigger than a Mackerel caught my line and pulled me into the water, only trouble was when i hit the water it wasnt just water i fell into it was a shoal of Mackerel feeding on Sprat so i got hit by the mackerel as i tried to swim to shore ( 6ft away ) and kicking and punching any fish i could see at me! I later found out the fish that i hooked was a Dogfish kinda looks like a baby shark.:D

Peter Collins

GreenHell wrote:

How did you get down?

Had to unbutton the shirt!

Slow Motion

stovelid wrote:

Did you have to pay for them all?

No I carried on to the toilet leaving the poor girl on her own while I hid for about 15 minutes, by which time everybody had got more drinks, we went to another pub then. Ahh the follies of youth

free2fly

Years and years ago I was wearing a rather short skirt at work. I went to the loo and did my business. I walked the length of the entire office to talk to my then bf. When I walked into his area one of the girls pulled me aside and told me that the back of my skirt was stuck in my pantyhose. Yup, the entire office had gotten a wonderful eyefull of my pink lace undies!! :eek: I wanted to crawl under my desk and die!!

layke

About 2 years ago I took a girlie I liked out on a date (met her through a friend of a friend), just a few drinks nothing fancy. Anyway the night started normal enough with a bit of flirting, some touching of the arm, the usual signals this was going right.

After a good few drinks she starts telling me about how she and her friend were having a dance in a well known nightclub in Dublin. When half way through the song they started having sex on the dance floor and she explained in graphic detail. Eventually the DJ copped it and made a show of them. Now as you can imagine at this point i'm a little bit freaked out by her attitude that this was all normal but manage to give a very convincing fake laugh.

So about an hour later and a few too many glasses of Whiskey she turns to me and says "Do you know about the power of the vagina?". I stopped half way through my drink and stared over with what I imagine would look like a 'WTF are you talking about' expression. Suddenly she stands up reaches into her handbag pulls out a book with a big vag painted on the front (all artsy loike) entitled 'The power of the vagina' and rams it 2 inches in front of my face. Then the she proceeded to preach like gospel the 'power of the vagina' to me, oh yes, she was loud too.

Now, i'm an easy going bloke but something inside me said 'Ok time to go, just go to the toilet, have a piss and then drop her home'. So I made my excuses and bounced off the walls towards those few moments of sanity.

So the biz was done, time to go back and get the crazy vag lady and get rid of her only she wasn't at her seat anymore. She had gone over to the Barmen and started preaching the 'power of the vagina at them' book out and all. So I got my coat on came over and told her were going and made a quick esacpe. You could have seen my glowing red head about a mile down the road.

After hailing a taxi down she then started talking loudly once again about blowjobs and carpet munching. Oh I can still remember sinking into my seat.
Last thing I heard from her before the taxi left was "So your going to call me about dinner right?"

Of course after a month of avoiding her text messages I bump into her in Spirit with friends but got out of there sharpish.






Man a lot of references to vag in that post.

um7y1h83ge06nx

layke wrote:

About 2 years ago I took a girlie I liked out on a date......

Whoah! She's a feisty/crazy one alright!

dodgyme

I had something similar at the toll bridge to the OP. I threw the cash into the bucket and it spat out one of the coins so hard it ended up just under the car door so I had to open the door, step out and get it. So there I was less then 5 secs (since slowing down) after putting the cash in, opening the door to retrieve the coin when this lad in an post van about 3 cars back went ballistic. He was shouting and half outta the door of his van screaming obsanities and going mental. I put my hand up to say sorry (not very patient myself at times but!!!) but he kept goin mental. I got back in the car and they lifted the barrier, I left the coin and pulled over to the side to walk back and pay. As I did I realised, the poor fecker, I actually pitied him? My usual reaction would be to consider lamping him one but funny I didnt! I was sorry for him and his wife or kids etc.

Zaph

In a similar vein to the OP, many years ago I was having maybe my 3rd or 4th driving lesson. We were driving towards a T-junction with a slight rise in the road up to it, and just as I came to the top the lights changed red. A minute or two later they turned green, I started to pull away and stalled the car and the lights turned red again before I got it going again (I should point out that they stayed on each colour for a decent length of time). The lights then turned green again, and I stalled the car again, and then they turned red again. The lights turned green for a third time, I attempted to pull away for a third time, almost stalled again but somehow kept it going and crawled left around the corner just before the lighs turned red again, but nobody else made it. Complete mortification, so to spare me any more embarrassment at that stage the instructor decided it was a good time go go home.

Steyr

layke wrote:

About 2 years ago I took a girlie I liked out on a date (met her through a friend of a friend), just a few drinks nothing fancy. Anyway the night started normal enough with a bit of flirting, some touching of the arm, the usual signals this was going right.

After a good few drinks she starts telling me about how she and her friend were having a dance in a well known nightclub in Dublin. When half way through the song they started having sex on the dance floor and she explained in graphic detail. Eventually the DJ copped it and made a show of them. Now as you can imagine at this point i'm a little bit freaked out by her attitude that this was all normal but manage to give a very convincing fake laugh.

So about an hour later and a few too many glasses of Whiskey she turns to me and says "Do you know about the power of the vagina?". I stopped half way through my drink and stared over with what I imagine would look like a 'WTF are you talking about' expression. Suddenly she stands up reaches into her handbag pulls out a book with a big vag painted on the front (all artsy loike) entitled 'The power of the vagina' and rams it 2 inches in front of my face. Then the she proceeded to preach like gospel the 'power of the vagina' to me, oh yes, she was loud too.

Now, i'm an easy going bloke but something inside me said 'Ok time to go, just go to the toilet, have a piss and then drop her home'. So I made my excuses and bounced off the walls towards those few moments of sanity.

So the biz was done, time to go back and get the crazy vag lady and get rid of her only she wasn't at her seat anymore. She had gone over to the Barmen and started preaching the 'power of the vagina at them' book out and all. So I got my coat on came over and told her were going and made a quick esacpe. You could have seen my glowing red head about a mile down the road.

After hailing a taxi down she then started talking loudly once again about blowjobs and carpet munching. Oh I can still remember sinking into my seat.
Last thing I heard from her before the taxi left was "So your going to call me about dinner right?"

Of course after a month of avoiding her text messages I bump into her in Spirit with friends but got out of there sharpish.






Man a lot of references to vag in that post.

You were handed SEX on a plate there and you didnt take it?:eek: :rolleyes: :eek:

mikemac

Steyr wrote:

You were handed SEX on a plate there and you didnt take it?:eek: :rolleyes: :eek:

My opinion exactly, what were you thinking?????

Cianos

emmm...she shagged some lad on a dance floor...not reeeeally appealing imo. well, depends on how hot she was of course:p

intheknow

The vagina is indeed very powerful, I personally have spent thousands upon thousands of euro in the persuit of same !!

thelordofcheese

intheknow wrote:

The vagina is indeed very powerful...

why? can it fire lasers?

Black Swan

Was drunk and sent a steamy PM to a stranger by accident.:o

Giblet

Mrs_Doyle wrote:

So yesterday evening, I'm driving home from work on my little scooter, going about 40miles per hour, and I slow down as I approach the lights.

I come to halt about 3 cars from the top, and a nice little line of traffic forms behind me.

Nothin particularly unusual about that, its 5.15, everyones on the way home from work.

The light turns green and traffic starts to roll forward. I rev up, or at least, I try to rev up. My scooter has decided its going no where.

It very slowly rolls forward. I start to panic, cos I can't go anywhere, and there is a fairly big line of traffic stuck behind me.

I can't pull in to my left, as traffic is flowing heavily forward (I was waiting to turn right), I can't pull into the right, as traffic is flowing pretty heavily in the opposite direction.

I have no choice but to crawl forward, and pull in once I've turned.

It was at the time of my realisation that everyone behind me decided to start going crazy.

They were beeping their horns, and all I could do was gesture and apology and continue to crawl forward.

At about 10miles an hour I ventured up the road, through the lights and made my turn.

Just as I got through the lights, they turned red, and everyone who had been behind me got stuck at them (once again).

They decided to show me how upset this made them by beeping their horns furiously.

Mortified? Me? Eh yeah! I just wanted to find a great big hole and crawl into it.

Anyhow, just though I'd share my cringe worthy moment with ya. Anyone got any good ones they wanna share?

A man would just pick up the scooter and place it on the side of the road. 3 reps of 25kg, going up to 30kg on later sets. Good girl.

Caliden

Blue_Lagoon wrote:

Was drunk and sent a steamy PM to a stranger by accident.:o

could've been worse. You could have sent it to your mum (note im refraining from saying "YOREMA LOLZ ROFL" as I'm past that!)

patrickc

Gazza22 wrote:

Time: Two weeks ago

The Location: National Aquatic Centre, Dublin

The Crime: Deciding to try "Flow Rider", an interactive surfing simulator with very high powered water jets.

And...Well ye see my shorts went exactly tight around the waist, i fly down the slope of my board, next thing i know is getting blasted off the board, up the ramp and finding my shorts nearly blown down to my ankles onfront of an audience of innocent children...Cant help but laugh about it now...


:mad:

InFront

Once in college everybody had to stand up and give a presentation to fellow students and a few lecturers. I was a bit uptight about it, and when I walked down to the bottom of the lecture theatre, I must have been concentrating on the pedestal or something, because I lost my footing and tripped a little step. It felt like about five minutes of my just kneeling there on all fours with everyone in the hall clapping and laughing:o. I cant even remember giving the presentation in the end.

I'm also naturally clumsy, and am always knocking things over. Another college related incident was walking backwards into one of those big stand-alone metal presentation boards in a lab once and falling onto it and onto the floor. The floor is concrete too, so there was just this enormous clang that grabbed everyone's attention, and then me writhing on the floor trying to get myself up:o

So yeah, I'm real smooth. :cool:

mikemac

Alter boy at a mass before our confirmation-1993 I think. This is back in my primary school days.

Spilt some of the wine over the Parish priest from the chalice. I still state it wasn't my fault, we had to hold that chalice in a realy awkward style. Any alter boys want to back me up?

Bishop of Killaloe was there, all my family,my school and about 300 people(it's only a small village church)

When I happened I kinda giggled, probably as a nervous reaction.
I never served as alter boy again in that church:(

DarkJager

I was out in Limerick one afternoon and ended up getting blind drunk very early in the day... As we stumbled on our way down to abrakebabra I stopped to take a p*ss against the window of a shop (yes I know, in broad daylight). As I was draining the snake I felt someone grab my arm and ask me if I was ok. I turned around but forgot to turn off the hose. It took about 10 seconds before I realised I was still pissing, but at this stage the poor victim was soaked through.... And just to make that worse, it was a grandmother out for the day with her grandchildren

ellenmelon

DarkJager wrote:

I was out in Limerick one afternoon and ended up getting blind drunk very early in the day... As we stumbled on our way down to abrakebabra I stopped to take a p*ss against the window of a shop (yes I know, in broad daylight). As I was draining the snake I felt someone grab my arm and ask me if I was ok. I turned around but forgot to turn off the hose. It took about 10 seconds before I realised I was still pissing, but at this stage the poor victim was soaked through.... And just to make that worse, it was a grandmother out for the day with her grandchildren

LOL is probably my most overused phrase online...but CHRIST that cracks me up and i actually did LOL.
*wipes tears*

Max_Damage

DarkJager wrote:

I was out in Limerick one afternoon and ended up getting blind drunk very early in the day... As we stumbled on our way down to abrakebabra I stopped to take a p*ss against the window of a shop (yes I know, in broad daylight). As I was draining the snake I felt someone grab my arm and ask me if I was ok. I turned around but forgot to turn off the hose. It took about 10 seconds before I realised I was still pissing, but at this stage the poor victim was soaked through.... And just to make that worse, it was a grandmother out for the day with her grandchildren

'Someone please think of the children!'

jesus_thats_gre

layke wrote:

About 2 years ago I took a girlie I liked out on a date (met her through a friend of a friend), just a few drinks nothing fancy. Anyway the night started normal enough with a bit of flirting, some touching of the arm, the usual signals this was going right.

After a good few drinks she starts telling me about how she and her friend were having a dance in a well known nightclub in Dublin. When half way through the song they started having sex on the dance floor and she explained in graphic detail. Eventually the DJ copped it and made a show of them. Now as you can imagine at this point i'm a little bit freaked out by her attitude that this was all normal but manage to give a very convincing fake laugh.

So about an hour later and a few too many glasses of Whiskey she turns to me and says "Do you know about the power of the vagina?". I stopped half way through my drink and stared over with what I imagine would look like a 'WTF are you talking about' expression. Suddenly she stands up reaches into her handbag pulls out a book with a big vag painted on the front (all artsy loike) entitled 'The power of the vagina' and rams it 2 inches in front of my face. Then the she proceeded to preach like gospel the 'power of the vagina' to me, oh yes, she was loud too.

Now, i'm an easy going bloke but something inside me said 'Ok time to go, just go to the toilet, have a piss and then drop her home'. So I made my excuses and bounced off the walls towards those few moments of sanity.

So the biz was done, time to go back and get the crazy vag lady and get rid of her only she wasn't at her seat anymore. She had gone over to the Barmen and started preaching the 'power of the vagina at them' book out and all. So I got my coat on came over and told her were going and made a quick esacpe. You could have seen my glowing red head about a mile down the road.

After hailing a taxi down she then started talking loudly once again about blowjobs and carpet munching. Oh I can still remember sinking into my seat.
Last thing I heard from her before the taxi left was "So your going to call me about dinner right?"

Of course after a month of avoiding her text messages I bump into her in Spirit with friends but got out of there sharpish.






Man a lot of references to vag in that post.

I take it that you prefer the power of the penis then

shane86

Gazza22 wrote:

Time: Two weeks ago

The Location: National Aquatic Centre, Dublin

The Crime: Deciding to try "Flow Rider", an interactive surfing simulator with very high powered water jets.

And...Well ye see my shorts went exactly tight around the waist, i fly down the slope of my board, next thing i know is getting blasted off the board, up the ramp and finding my shorts nearly blown down to my ankles onfront of an audience of innocent children...Cant help but laugh about it now...


:mad:

Its down the road from me and I went once and never again. They had a slide whereby you get in a rubber ring yoke and cruise down in it. Unfortunately the Pole at the enterence never gave me guidance about how I should position my arse in this thing. Cue what seemed like an eternity of my stank-bone repeatedtly whacking off the slide surface on the way down. Could barely walk at the end of it.

Naos

Shane 86 - A "friend" of mine works there...

The amount of stupid people who visit that place is shocking. It is not a difficult to task to sit in a rubber ring and realise that you must lift your ass so it does not drag on the floor - Its common sense.

Also this "could barely walk" rubbish - Stop making things up. I've seen 1000's who have gone down it and although they might joke and say they got a whack on the tailbone, its not bad at all, drama queen.

Binomate

I walked in on my old man looking at porn this evening.

jrey1981

woodwork class at secondary school. Got my tie caught in belt sander.

That was fun.

WindSock

thelordofcheese wrote:

why? can it fire lasers?

Ping pong balls. Or many other types of things if you are lucky enough to wander into certain clubs in Amshterdam.

frizzefreckles

down in wexford for a weekend a couple of years ago, we were staying in an apartment that had it's own private beach so as the sun was setting we decided to go down and sit on this small harbour wall and watch it set, a few other people had the same idea so it was very busy. After a few minutes of sitting on the uncomfortable wall I stood up and heard rrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiippppppp as the ass of my trousers caught on the wire that was holding the wall together. I had to walk past groups of people trying to hold the ripped piece of fabric over my backside.