Hen weekend ruined by drunken 'friend'

Cateym · 29-03-2007 04:23PM

There have been some people on here paying more attention to the fact that the OP 'hit' the nutter who was screaming blue murder at her than the fact the nutter went beserk at the OP. Yes it does take two to tango but sometimes even the most controlled of people lose it when placed under that kind of pressure.

Sometimes situations get extremely charged and no-one is in control of themselves and walking away does not work (as in the case of the OP).

Would those pointing the finger at the OP for her reaction please try and put the situation into perspective.

Lynfo · 29-03-2007 04:44PM

Cateym wrote:

There have been some people on here paying more attention to the fact that the OP 'hit' the nutter who was screaming blue murder at her than the fact the nutter went beserk at the OP. Yes it does take two to tango but sometimes even the most controlled of people lose it when placed under that kind of pressure.

Sometimes situations get extremely charged and no-one is in control of themselves and walking away does not work (as in the case of the OP).

Would those pointing the finger at the OP for her reaction please try and put the situation into perspective.

Ah some sense finally! Thank you

Cancer-chick · 29-03-2007 05:20PM

OP as last poster said any reasonable person would lose it faced with that level of abuse..

Simply put it's up to you whether she remains a friend or becomes a distant acquaintance who happens to move in same social circle on occasion. You seem like a caring person.. I would'nt lose sleep over it..

vorbis · 29-03-2007 05:38PM

don't know if I could stay good friends with someone who'd abuse me like that. The hitting her part is totally understandable. With provocation like that, i'm surprised it wasn't worse! How good a friend was she before this happened? Get your stuff back and ignore her for a few weeks / months. A bit of time will help you tell if you want to continue being friends with her.

extraice · 29-03-2007 06:02PM

you stay of Gran Via in very nice hotel .... ?
and was it Ocoonnel st you talking about ?

littlebitdull · 29-03-2007 10:09PM

The answer is very simple. Keep this girl as your friend.. but keep it to day time lunch meetings or trips to the cinema, regular phone calls text emails etc.

Just drop her as a drinking buddy.

Simple solution.

King of Kings · 29-03-2007 11:36PM

probably agree with dr. bollocko here. drink etc.. can do that to people more so on special night like hens or stags. i was a doorman once for 8 years and girlie weekends away turn on each other quite often.It's just how it is (or was for me)

Lynfo wrote:

the response I got was 'actually no I'm not and it's all your fault I can't believe you called me an alco'

I had a horrible weekend at my ex's cousins wedding and of all the stuff she said and did to me - which was lousy - me saying that to her is still brought up 2 years later.
Some people think they are above reproach.

I'd put it down to experience , don't ignore her but ensure that you are never roommates again on further hols etc.

bug · 30-03-2007 12:47AM

oh the f**kin drama..
there is a reason why my female friends are limited to those who have a bit of common sense...
I hate women like your mate.
The idea of going away in these situations is having a good time and some people are so selfish that they ruin the experience for themselves and for others.

She is selfish, that'd it really, and possibly a bit fuked up, but who isn't?
The normal, sociable thing to do is to leave all that behind you when on social outings and not bring everyone down with you.

Immaturity, selfishness and not the type of female I associate with or would have the time for.

~Leanne~ · 30-03-2007 10:18AM

I dunno how you put up with her the weekend, you must have great patience cause i certainly couldnt handle anyone like that!! I would have left her to sleep in the hall!

Chinafoot · 30-03-2007 11:21AM

God I remember my sister's hen last year. Nine of us headed off to Edinburgh and one of the women who came with us, Dee, worked in Kelley's company but was mostly there as she was a friend of Kelley's friend Jen who asked if she could come. The more the merrier we thought. Oh how wrong were we.

She ended up losing the plot with her mate Jen because "jen promised me she wouldn't do any shots!" These two women are 40 years of age! Then when Jen got chatting to a fella from Mayo on a stag weekend she flipped. She gave Jen dog's abuse and stormed out of the pub. When my sister tried to talk to her to sort it out Dee tore into her too calling her a bully and a slag and then she said that I stole her wine (I never, ever, ever drink wine) when Dee had in fact knocked the glass over onto one of the other girls coats. Then she said we had stolen her money because we did a kitty of £30 each and bought shots as part of it. Dee decidede not to tell anyone that she didn't want a shot and took it when it was handed to her and then handed it to Jen...who she made promise not to do shots! The mind boggles.

Anyway, in the end Dee was playing the drama queen back at the hotel and said that she was heading straight for the airport and was getting a flight home (this was at 4am or there abouts). So we all decided "if she wants to be an idiot and go home, let her". We had no intention of pandering to her and making things worse after my sister had tried to reason with her. So we called her bluff and she went home. We had a brilliant time for the rest of the weekend and my sister hasn't seen her since.

Lynfo, I guess my advice from seeing my sister's experience would be to distance yourself. Don't give her the attention she's after. Tell her to cop herself on and walk away. If you find yourself in a situation with her like that again, be it a weekend away (doubtful, I know) or just a night out with a group of friends, call her bluff and walk away. I know you tried that and she pushed you to breaking point but at the same time, you were running after her, calling her mobile and apologising to her. She is not your responsibility.

You sound like you have a mammying nature, and I think that's great. But don't waste such caring on people who don't deserve it. She saw you as an emtional punching bag that she could take out all her problems on and then use the drink as an excuse afterwards. It's not good enough.

It can suck cutting off friends completely but sometimes you have to realise that certain people aren't good for you.

Hope the lunch goes well, anyway.

Best of luck.

Kaylee · 30-03-2007 12:00PM

Lynfo,

Something like this happened to me a couple of years ago.

I'm considered to be very (some would say too) reserved and properly behaved person, but to witness this incident (at a friends wedding) you probably wouldn't have believed that.

As most Irish weddings go, the drink was flowing and I was fairly 'well on', this was no problem - I'm a happy, jolly drinker. However, things began to deteriorate when my partner began to take offense at my (perceived) behaviour ie. he thought I was flirting with people/being 'messy' .

To cut a long story short, we made a bit of a show of ourselves. I - being jarred - was unable to handle the situation calmly (as possibly happened to you), he being also jarred was unable to get a handle on reality.

Anyways... the next day, and days that followed were hell. I cryed, we cryed, we were so ashamed ourselves. In fact, that incident haunted me for years, yes, years afterwards.

Moral of the story is... learn from this. Your friend will continue to drag you down to her level when she is drunk unless she has really learnt from this, and is REALLY ashamed of her behaviour. Ashamed enough to look at her attitude to alcohol and her personal issues. You also have to take responsibility for your behaviour and your alcohol consumption.

Lynfo, You may feel bad about yourself right now - you have to ensure that you don't allow anything like this to happen to you again.

Excessive alcohol consumption can lead to nasty situations - stuff like this happens EVERY weekend in EVERY town in Ireland. It seems some people don't have much respect for themselves, or people around them - it may be that your friend is one of these people.

Hen weekend ruined by drunken 'friend'

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