Parents going away and sis wants a load of friends over, I'm "in charge"...

Tusky · 23-03-2007 01:55AM

we were all young once! Let her have 5 over to stay.

Tails142 · 23-03-2007 02:17AM

You gotta think about it... everyone has parties in their house when their parents go away.

I had parties with my friends over when I was younger, we got thrashed, the house got thrashed, everyone fecks off, and you get left to tidy up, hung over. You learn your lesson and don't have any parties.

A couple of years ago my sisters did a similar thing, parents went away, I had learnt my lesson, I wasnt having a party. She said she wanted some friends over, I told her she was mad, basically that she would regret it and I went out into town.

Came back home and instead of just a few of her friends the whole neighbourhood was partying in my house and it was way out of control. Kicked them all out but the damage was done, angry neighbours, garden thrashed, house in pieces, nightmare - I just went to bed.

Anyway, she was distraught; spent the next day cleaning while I watched TV :cool: She got most things back in order though there was a funky smell in the garage that stuck around for years afterwards and many missing garden ornaments (no loss imo)

Anyway, she never wanted to have another house party after that, so it really was lesson learned.

Everyone has to learn at some stage - same goes for her drinking. Sooner or later she will drink too much and spend the next 36 hours puking her ring, you get to laugh at her and say I told you so. It's the way the world works!!

That being said though, your sister is younger than mine in my situation, I was 21, she was 18, so neither of us were in total charge, it was a mutual responsibilty thing.

If I were you I would lock the doors, and only allow your sister to enter. No tolerance and dont worry about the girls having nowhere to stay, they have parents and homes too - either tell them to piss of home or if they wont get lost grab your sis's phone and call their parents. Why do you care if they get into trouble? They're the ones wrecking your head.

Tails142 · 23-03-2007 02:20AM

Maybe have some of your friends come over to and act as 'police' when you see that they have had enough, (probably 2 cans/bottles) take it the rest from them, kick them off to bed or to giggle or whatever and finish the drinks off yourselves.

This is a terrible idea, its practically screaming stripogram. I think it was my 18th I was having a party in my back garden with all my mates over. Anyway after much pestering I allowed my sister to invite some of her friends over. BIG MISTAKE.

Drunken 15/16 year olds, plus your older mates equals much horrible horrible activity that I would rather not describe in too much detail.

Chucky the tree · 23-03-2007 03:04AM

Jesus man, you cant have your young sister pushing you around, thats pathetic.

Let 2, 3 max stay over. If she goes out knacker drinking before hand tell her if she tries to bring more then 3 people back, no one is allowed stay over. Lock the front door so you have to answer it. If they get in the gaff it will 10 times harder to get rid of them.

If they manage to get in the gaff tell your sister she has 5 minutes to gt the mates out of the gaff or else you are calling your parents straight away(if thats posible).

Or, you could just let 10 stay over and try and drop the hand on some of them. Whatever you feel is the best idea yourself.

Beruthiel · 23-03-2007 09:45AM

sigh.... wrote:

-It's hard to kick a load of 15 year old girls out of the house if they all just arrive at 11/12 expecting to stay the night - they'd have nowhere to go. ie. basically if it gets that far I can't stop it

Try to get agreement on the 2/3 friends. Only allow them to come over if you have the phone numbers of their parents. Call the parents to validate them coming over in the first place and also this way you have their numbers if anything goes wrong. (just in case your sis trys to give you false numbers)
They won't need to be thrown out of the house then as their parents can be called to pick them up. This is normal proceedure if my daughter were to have someone stay the night. All of that seems fair imo and if your sis is not prepared to go with that, then call the whole thing off.
Don't suppose you have an aunt or uncle who can stay over that night?

PCPhoto · 23-03-2007 10:11AM

Heres a little method of comeback - insurance if you will....... buy a disposable camera and photograph yer sister and her mates drinking and getting pissed.

Or

Tell your parents what she plans - do you really care if your little sister has a crap opinion of you ..... she shouldnt be getting drunk - or even drinking.

I'm 28.... I have 3 little sisters, (well.....26, 21 and 19 now) .... but when we were younger.....anyways.... point is...she's gotten in with the wrong crowd....and needs to learn a lesson, in my opinion you have a couple of options.

1. Ask parents - or tell them what she has planned.
2. Phone Gardai when all her friends are drunk (only problem is as the adult in charge - you get the blame)
3. Photograph her mates and her drinking - blackmail - illegal and chances are she prob wont care and you'll still get the blame from your parents if they see the pics - 'cos you didnt stop her.
4. Ask a neighbour to come over and complain about the noise - get him/her to overreact and throw everyone out of the house. (Parents find out - you get the blame)

5. ONLY TO BE USED IN EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCES - BURN THE HOUSE DOWN THE DAY SHE WANTS TO HAVE HER PARTY

Ok...ok...seriously - no.5 is a joke.

If she is allowed 1-2 friends - chances are she'll invite more and say that her friends asked them to come..... if she's allowed a group (10people) chances are more will turn up - and it'll be a party and you wont have any control...or option... but to call either their parents/gardai, my issue with the gardai is that most likely they will only take the drink and tell them all to go home.

Overheal · 23-03-2007 11:14AM

I took the good guy approach with this: My friends younger brother wanted to have a house party, so I was called for backup...and to buy the beer.

I could have argued about supplying the beer, but this is Ireland and kids will find it somehow. Also, me and my friend were match enough for any problems that would have (and did) arise...usually directly due to drinking. Dopes.

The 2 times we did it we tried to regulate the flow of alchohol.......... laughs here.

Lets see: vomit in the driveway, one of the big big lads downs 700ml of black bush and starts dancing around the pile of vomit, laughing. Oh, and lets not forget the guy I found drooling at the mouth passed out...and THAT one was supposed to be helping us as a third backup! He scared the hell outta me: I thought it was a pulp fiction moment

Still, it turns out to be no less than any public night out, and worse come to shove, the day before the party, older brother breaks a 120 euro window pane: plenty to distract parentals from any potential evidence (of which there wasnt).

Anyway if you are going to let her do this, be mindful of all that.

And you might get fortunate and she will have a hot 16/17 year old friend

WindSock · 23-03-2007 02:16PM

sigh.... wrote:

I wouldn't mind if she had 4/5 friends over and 2 staying the night.

I think I might have some(2/3) friends over that night, not to stay, just to watch a movie or whatever. And I'll keep an eye on her and her friends. If more than 2 stay I'll tell my parents when they get back and let them deal with it.

Thas sounds reasonable. Tell her that, ask her which of her friends are coming and which are staying, so as you know. When they all get to the house, make sure they are isolated to the one room with direct access to the toilet. And hide all breakables somewhere. It may be a good idea to have a few plastic bags in the room with them, in case of any little accidents. If any extra people turn up at the door you should tell them where to go. Don't tell your parents before they go away, it will ruin their holiday and they will be useless to do anything anyway. If something happens that it does get out of hand, ask an older adult that you trust for some help, then tell your parents after they come back.

Nevyn · 23-03-2007 02:22PM

So your male and 18 and I would assum that your firneds would be around the same age.
So you really think it is a good idea to have your friends and her jailbait friends in the house at the same time drinking ?

PeakOutput · 23-03-2007 02:30PM

Thaedydal wrote:

So your male and 18 and I would assum that your firneds would be around the same age.
So you really think it is a good idea to have your friends and her jailbait friends in the house at the same time drinking ?

i dont think there are many 18 year olds who would knowingly be with a 15 year old maybe im wrong but if there his mates and anyway responsible i dont think this is something he needs to worry about

Nevyn · 23-03-2007 02:34PM

Even of the tales that may be told ?
How many parents of those 15 year old girls would be happy enough knowing
what the situation would be ?

WindSock · 23-03-2007 02:40PM

If they are in the house, at least they can have an eye kept on them. if they are told to get out of the house, they will rebel with their naggins and proceed to get locked in a field and pass out with some some strangers and younger more immature boys.
If the girls get drunk in the house and stay in there they will be safer. If they are not safe from your friends, then don't have them stay the night, as they probably will be tempted...

PeakOutput · 23-03-2007 02:49PM

Thaedydal wrote:

Even of the tales that may be told ?
How many parents of those 15 year old girls would be happy enough knowing
what the situation would be ?

i dont think they would be telling them much and if it was me we wouldnt be in the same room

i agree that parents probably wouldnt be too pleased at all but then its up to them to not allow their child to go if it is wat the op has to do to feel comfortable that he can handle any situation then its what he has to do

LegacyUser · 23-03-2007 03:26PM

'

Beruthiel wrote:

Try to get agreement on the 2/3 friends. Only allow them to come over if you have the phone numbers of their parents. Call the parents to validate them coming over in the first place and also this way you have their numbers if anything goes wrong. (just in case your sis trys to give you false numbers)
They won't need to be thrown out of the house then as their parents can be called to pick them up. This is normal proceedure if my daughter were to have someone stay the night. All of that seems fair imo and if your sis is not prepared to go with that, then call the whole thing off.
Don't suppose you have an aunt or uncle who can stay over that night?

I'm not going to be that harsh on her. I'm fine with 2 of her friends staying over. I just don't want it to escalate to higher numbers.

Thaedydal wrote:

So your male and 18 and I would assum that your firneds would be around the same age.
So you really think it is a good idea to have your friends and her jailbait friends in the house at the same time drinking ?

Who said anything about my friends and I drinking?
And I have civilised friends thank you very much.

While I appreciate the views of parents here, you must remember that I am not a parent myself and I'm not going to be excessively strict. As I've stated before, I've no problem with her having a few friends over with 2 staying the night. It's the free for all situation I don't want.'

limklad · 23-03-2007 04:46PM

sigh.... wrote:

Your posts, while a little OTT, were very helpful and insightful, thank you.'

I speak from experience. I have 4 sisters and a painful mother.

Plain and simple, she (your sister) will keep walking over you (weak link) until you stand up for yourself. The emotional and verbal manipulation is a pain from her I know. You have to reverse it back on her, and only then after some time, will she get the message.
She has broken your trust before and used you.

On the other matter.

You sister will do whatever she wants to, whenever you like it or not and invite the other friends over (behind your back) in a group to railroad you, and you are back to the trouble you are trying to avoid.

I aggree with the comments knowing her friends parents phone number and ringing them before hand, and letting your parents know what is planned. This way they cannot blame you for your sister misdeeds.

LegacyUser · 23-03-2007 06:15PM

'Right, so now I'm at the most difficult point. She's here with 2 friends and she seems to have accepted that only these two can stay. However, I've just outlined a simple policy to her - No drinking and no guys. Unfortunately she says she's "already told" some guys they can come and I never made that clear before. I said if guys come our parents will be told. It seems like she will not heed this warning and right now I dunno whether to call my parents now(they're in Rome right now) or not....

I reckon I'll talk to her first.'

PeakOutput · 23-03-2007 07:17PM

sigh.... wrote:

'Right, so now I'm at the most difficult point. She's here with 2 friends and she seems to have accepted that only these two can stay. However, I've just outlined a simple policy to her - No drinking and no guys. Unfortunately she says she's "already told" some guys they can come and I never made that clear before. I said if guys come our parents will be told. It seems like she will not heed this warning and right now I dunno whether to call my parents now(they're in Rome right now) or not....

I reckon I'll talk to her first.'

its depends how much "some" are i think...........your sister will be jsut as embarrased scoring some guy in front of you as you would be and i dont think it should be too much of a problem...........unless they are a good bit older or there are alot of them i wouldnt worry too much........if theres no drink involved then they only reallyw atch a video or whatever and make sure you stick your head in every now and again asking do they want drinks(soft drinks) or food just to keep them on their toes

LegacyUser · 23-03-2007 07:43PM

'Yeah, problem is basically resolved at this point. 8 people are coming, 3 guys, 5 girls, guys are leaving at 10, most of the girls by 11, they're not drinking and they're not going to a kancker drinking session beforehand. Only two are staying over.

I'm surprised how effective my stubborn stance on the issue and threats to call my parents worked.

I'm having one friend over just to watch a movie and hang out, he can help me out should anything get out of hand. If any drink is brought I'll just confiscate it or tell them to get out.'

WindSock · 23-03-2007 07:58PM

Let your parents have their holiday with no worries. Make sure they all stay in the one room and theres no creeping off to bedrooms. If you hear people upstairs or going into other rooms then confront them and tell them to get back downstairs or leave. Tell your sister you want them out of the house by 12 at the latest. And tell her that you are being very reasonable, as it's a pain in the arse for you to have to make sure they are going to behave responsibly in your home.

Lemming · 23-03-2007 08:08PM

sigh.... wrote:

'Right, so now I'm at the most difficult point. She's here with 2 friends and she seems to have accepted that only these two can stay. However, I've just outlined a simple policy to her - No drinking and no guys. Unfortunately she says she's "already told" some guys they can come and I never made that clear before.

Just reading that and I'm struck by two things.

a) She's using the "Oh geeh, I already said blah blah blah" to try and see how far she can go
b) She'll have her two friends, and then say for arguments sake 3 guys turn up. Then the rest of her friends turn up and she tries a "well, you allowed the three of them in, so why not the others ... "

blow69 · 30-03-2007 08:55PM

I say let her have a good few friends over and you bring over some of your friends too. That way you can all keep an eye on eachother and it's in a controlled enviroment.You're only young once like.......

Parents going away and sis wants a load of friends over, I'm "in charge"...

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