Bullied at work?

Shiva · 16-03-2007 11:04PM

Dudess wrote:

Is that definite? I know someone who was fired unfairly after less than five months, and their solicitor told them they'd have to have been working there six months to a year to have grounds for unfair dismissal. And anyway, would an employer really just let someone go that easily if it means they could be facing a court case a few months down the line?

Legislation may have changed in the past ten years, but it certainly was the case that you could be summarily dismissed from a job if you were working there less than one year.

I know from bitter experience. I wont go into all the details, because it was a long time ago, but I left a good job to take on a new position as a retail store manager over ten years ago. The shop was a small run down grocery store, and the owners wanted someone to project-manage its refurbishment and expansion into a mini-supermarket. I spent 6 months managing the refurbishment, outfitting and expansion, working godawful hours, and sending sales (and profits) through the roof.

Once things had settled down, and all new systems and procedures were in place and the store was ticking over nicely, I was informed that they didn't need me any more, and their son would be taking over.

Calls to a couple of solicitors and the LRC all resulted in the same advice - I had no rights because I was less than a year there, and I should just chalk it up to experience and move on. So I did.

And to be honest, I was the better for it - I changed careers, and I've been happy ever since.

So, OP....just move on, and use this as a learning experience so you'll know how to handle it if it ever happens again. Best of luck.

limklad · 17-03-2007 01:08AM

bolliwoodi wrote:

k guys well i confronted her........... and i have been fired

I went into work tonight and asked her If i could speak to her in private. We went to the bathroom and i asked her what her problem with me was and once again she just stared at me and said nothing- so i just said "Fine **** off you had ur chance im telling the boss what you have been doing" and walked out, I went off for a fag as the boss wasnt in yet. When I came back one of the lads said"The boss is looking for you" so i went to his office and went in. Dee was sitting in there with him crying and hegging saying" I dont know what i ever did to her"

Turns out just after id left Dee had gone out crying to the lads saying i had slammed her up against the wall and threatned her and they took her to the main boss- and He didnt believe a word of what i had to say.He said and I quote"Dee has never been any trouble and then you turn up and start making up stories about her" and I was fired.

I have been sitting up all night wondering what the hell im gonna do now~

It is not easy been a victim of a sly and devious bully. Female bullies are far worst than male bullies. I know that from experience. Denying my very existence and self worth and inflating their self worth and importance and abusing their position. Constantly changing the truth about events.
Remember Dee is on a power trip, this is a rush to her and people like want more. The adrenalin rush and ego will have her doing the same thing and pushing the limits to others. She will slip up eventually and the company will suffer because of it. She will not need your help in doing so. Time is your friend not hers. Her time is running out.

Look at your options, find out from solicitors about your situation. You might not get unfair dismissal charges against your ex company, but you can probably get them on health and safely charges. The company is supposes to provide a safe environment for their employee. They fail to investigate the alleged assault. You need to challenge it, it a crime to report false claims, otherwise you will be nail for the assault. At the end of the Day it is her word against yours as they are no other witness. Once all of the Co-Workers are brought into the court to testify, a good solicitor will challenge them for their stories and try to collaborate it. Then the heat will be on for her. You were the one who was harassed not her. She will twist and twist stories until she will slip up. Remember it is harder to remember lies than the truth, especially when they are under pressure.
In the mean time, You also need to Move on and look for a better Job. Don’t hide the fact that you got fired and legal proceeding is ongoing for bullying.

Dudess · 17-03-2007 03:51PM

limklad wrote:

Female bullies are far worst than male bullies. I know that from experience.

limklad, while I agree with your other points, you can't make a generalisation like that. Bullies are bullies, irrespective of their gender. Some might argue that women use different tactics to men - more devious, back-stabbing etc. Not true. Men can be just as two-faced.

limklad · 17-03-2007 08:50PM

Dudess wrote:

limklad, while I agree with your other points, you can't make a generalisation like that. Bullies are bullies, irrespective of their gender. Some might argue that women use different tactics to men - more devious, back-stabbing etc. Not true. Men can be just as two-faced.

Men can be just as two faced but less clever and less effective than females. Crying is an effective tool for female bullies. It enlists a harsh response from others. You feel pity and what to comfort a female crying. If a male did this he would look like a wous.
Men tends to be more physical violent with their presence while women are emotional violent, using emotions as weapons.

I had to endure a lot of bullying growing up and emotional abuse was far worst than physical bullying as emotional bullying affect how others see and treat you.
Here is a link to start with in learning about bullies.
http://www.bullyonline.org/related/family.htm

I have experience both gender bullying throughout my life. I have been falsely accused wrongdoing by my mother, who in turn lied to everyone all my life who turn all of my family against me. She is very devious. She used other by using crying and poor mother tactics against me. I recorded the phone messages and every contact she had with me in the last few years. My mother hated been a mother with the work that is needed. It like she wanted a puppy but without having to do the work.
My grandmother did not believe me until, I ask my grandmother to repeat what my mother said about certain events, and I replayed the recording of my mother. I showed her a book about emotional and verbal bullying. I then started describing how my mother raised me. The relationship problems she had with my father, and the truth what really happened.
The only wrong doings that people accuse me ofs, all of it came from my mother and from my sisters who back her, who also love the power of control and manipulation men to do their bidding.
But thankfully for me I held out despite all the abuse other threw at me and now her grandmother is questioning everything my mother and my sisters has ever told her.
Their past actions is now breaking the trust of others in them and their world had narrowed quite a lot, since they have been exposed. Their bad and brutal, devious behavior and actions was their choice.

OP there is one positive to say.
You bully is feel far worst than you. Her self confidence is tied and fed in how much power she has over others. In Time that will change and people will wise up or her environment will change beyond her control, this is a fact. No matter what way things go, she will fall hard and people will not trust her. Remember the story of “the boy who cried wolf” Playing the victim role will only go against her once she have been exposed. And if something bad do happen to her, who will believe her once she has been exposed?

Deliverance · 18-03-2007 01:29AM

Bolliwoodi, I have skimmed through this thread and I have to say I'm a little shocked at the way you were treated. I have first hand experience of a major bullying situation at work as a male and it is true to say that the male bulllying is physical and from what I read here the female form is psychological which is definately worse.

It must have been pretty horrible, I believe you because at no point did you rant or bring any kind of personal feelings into the argument other than that which was relevant.

It must have been really tough for you to say the least, and being fresh still probably is still that way. This was a company run by folks who possibly hired a lot of labour who were paid less than the minimum wage and unfortunately had less than minimum rights which they enforced on themselves through ignorance of their rights and general exploitation, this put them in a position of heads down and say nothing. Which obviously means that no support was ever going to be given.

From the sounds of it it was always and always will be a bad place to work for any person with a sense of ethics and values (like yourself), there was never going to be any support from the owners as they very well knew their position and are treading lightly around their dodgy tax and business dealings and less than minimum wage unofficial policy for profit.

The person doing the bullying was given the opurtunity to do so via the chain of command indirectly, she is quite stupid and easily manipulated, the key to any bully. Bullys' are generally cowards obviously and really easy to control in their witlessness. This is why the bosses backed her up.

Ok, in a nutshell, don't let them knock your confidence in future employment, this was an impossible situation for the inexperenced or new to this type of situation, which does happen. Forget about them move on and get a job in a place which will appreciate your integrity, If you didn't have any integrity I think that you would be like the rest of the sheep at that job and would still be there taking crap from crap employers.

So well done in you own way for not bowing down and confronting the muppet who got you fired. All of the previous advice given by many others in this thread about recording and so on is not really realistic when your dealing with what you were dealing with, sorry folks, I have dealt with 20 years experience of 'factory politics' the lowest form of politics in my opinion.

If you really want closure on them then report them anonymously, but I'll bet they have their books and employees well under control.

If anyone doubts my opinion then I will say this I once took on a national corporation for an injustice based on a cover up based on negligence directed at myself and fellow workers, no union, just me, the end result was the company demoted and eventually drove out the 'protected' perpertrators, complicated story to say the least. End result was myself in the office negotiating a payrise based on my new promotion to head of the department.

I left a year later on my own terms due to my disgust at their continuing mistreatment of policy. Learn from experience 'Bolli' and don't let them get you down.
Good Luck.
Sorry about the essay but this is an issue close to me and I understand it completely.

Deliverance · 18-03-2007 01:47AM

Oh and limklad, good post, very true. Bullies lose in the end. I tend to take them on because they are easy targets in some respects. I grew up with bullies by having dual nationality Irish / English in rougher times taught me how to 'bully' the bullies by using their own fears against them, it's easy when you know how.
It's nice to kick ass when it is rightgeous.

Bullied at work?

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