The 'ONE'.

manonthemoon · 15-03-2007 09:33AM

There is no "The One"

There are 6

.

Kinetic^ · 15-03-2007 10:48AM

Well, she got the flick last night....said she had to "study" for an exam on friday :rolleyes: How inconsiderate can you be ffs?

brown*eyed*girl · 15-03-2007 11:06AM

Don't believe in the "the one" theory myself. Used to when I was younger but not anymore. My the one turned out to the most definiately NOT THE ONE and at the time I was heartbroken. Lets just say you can fall in love but also fall out of love with someone even though at some stage you think the sun shines out of their ar8e but they end up being a pain in the ar8e. Nowadays I feel completely different and feel there's so much choice out there & tend to go with the plenty more fish in the sea theory. Too many people on the planet to think there is only the one for each person...

Heyes · 15-03-2007 11:08AM

I dont think there is just "One" person you are ment to be with, i think through out your life you can come across a number of people you can just click with, that make you feel so relaxed and comftorble and be the real you. A person who makes you smile and feel warm and good about yourself. Someone who will encourage you to succeed in what you love and to excell the good points you have to provide.

It is your decision who you choose to experience all those bumps and jumps through out life with and just be there for each other. No one should settle if they feel this might be the one and all that lark, a person just knows yes i see myself spending a lot of time with this person. Just relax and enjoy the fun tbh.

Sleepy · 15-03-2007 03:57PM

Another non-believer here. I don't think there's 'the one' out there but with any luch there are some that could make me feel that way about them. Haven't met anyone like that in a long, long time though

ferdi · 15-03-2007 04:15PM

there is certainly no such thing as 'the one'. there is however 'someone' and then a load of compromise.

what about Polygamy?

peasant · 15-03-2007 04:43PM

there is however 'someone' and then a load of compromise

Not a good idea, especially if the "compromise" feels and tastes like compromise.

Sooner or later the compromise will start to turn sour and the great adding up will begin "I sacrificed more for this relationship than you ever have" arguments flare up and the relationship exits stage left (after a long, hard battle trying to "make it work")

Of course, when two people share their lives, adjustments will have to be made. But they should be made willingly, without pain or sense of loss or sacrifice.

If you're with the right person, these adjustments will just sort of "slot into place" and there will be no arguments or compromises. You will gain more than you "lost".

ferdi · 15-03-2007 04:49PM

dont mind me, i'm cynical beyond my years.

Mrs_Doyle · 15-03-2007 05:04PM

I believe that there is a 'One' for me, and I've met them already.
I don't think my world would fall apart without them, I just no for sure that I prefer them in my world, and that is not going to change.
And before you ask, yes, I really am certain of that.

I know a lot of you have had bad experiences, and so are somewhat cynical about the whole thing, but there are couples out there that have been together for many years, who feel as though they are living their lives with the support of their soul mate.

It can happen, it probably just doesn't happen very often.

Saruman · 15-03-2007 05:13PM

There is no "The ONE"

There is only "The Current ONE"

Seriously, there is not one mystical person out there for everyone and only this one person is right for each person, its not only a stupid belief its also illogical when you think about it.

So Im married now and she is the one for me right now.. if anything ever happened though and i found myself alone then i would find someone else who is also the one for me.

Mrs_Doyle · 15-03-2007 05:17PM

Saruman wrote:

There is no "The ONE" There is only "The Current ONE"
Seriously, there is not one mystical person out there for everyone and only this one person is right for each person, its not only a stupid belief its also illogical when you think about it

Of course it isn't a case of only one person be able to make you happy, its more a case of you truly being happy with one person, and truly being content to just be with them. Simple as that.

CathyMoran · 15-03-2007 05:31PM

Am very happily married to one of the "one"s, I believe that there is more than one perfect person for you but I am with my "one".

I knew the moment that I saw him over 10 years ago but it took another nearly 10 years to fully wake up and smell the coffee - my husband feels right, wherever he is is home; we get on very well and are totally crazy about one another; he respects my freedom and I respect his but we are at our happiest when we are together; we can spend hours together without even speaking but be happy together; seeing him sleeping is one of the most beautiful things that I have seen in my life; we complete one another; we have a lot of things in common but other interests that are different - for example he is brilliant at languages but I would be better at art though we are both into computers. I love him.

embee · 16-03-2007 12:49AM

The idea of "The One" to me is actually pretty depressing... I mean, if you actually think about it, the whole notion implies that there is only ONE perfect person for you on the whole planet...It would be one hell of a stroke of luck if he was within my general age group, in Ireland and available.... lets face it, most people aren't that lucky.

So, somewhere out there, amongst the 6 billion + people out there, "the one" is waiting for me?? What if he's married, gay or dead? Life on my own forever more?
No thanks!!!! I'm with someone I am content with, happy with, and love. Thats enough for me.

Mrs_Doyle · 16-03-2007 10:21AM

embee wrote:

The idea of "The One" to me is actually pretty depressing... I mean, if you actually think about it, the whole notion implies that there is only ONE perfect person for you on the whole planet...It would be one hell of a stroke of luck if he was within my general age group, in Ireland and available.... lets face it, most people aren't that lucky.

So, somewhere out there, amongst the 6 billion + people out there, "the one" is waiting for me?? What if he's married, gay or dead? Life on my own forever more?
No thanks!!!! I'm with someone I am content with, happy with, and love. That's enough for me.

I think a lot of people assume, when 'The One' is mentioned that it means that there is only One person for you, only one perfect person, and its up to you to find them.

Well for what its worth, I don't believe that either.

My interpretation of 'The One' is a little different. I believe that when you find 'the one' it means you have found a person that you want to be with. You are happy with them, they are happy with you, you can't imagine a life without them in it, you can't remember what life was like before they were in it, and you don't want to be with anyone else. Any notion of the 'grass being greener' elsewhere just evaporates, and you are genuinely content with the person you are with.

However, should something horrible happen to this person, and they are no longer in your life, I do believe that you could find another 'one', given the time to heal.

I don't think there is only one person on this planet who holds the key to your hapiness, I do think its possible for you to find one person that you are truly happy to be with.

louisecm · 16-03-2007 10:40AM

I was in a 3 year relationship where he thought I was his "one" and initially I would have said he was my "one", as things just "felt right". But we were young and as time passed my interests and goals changed and what I wanted in my "one" changed too. So...I broke his heart and in doing so injured mine severely too, because I loved him so much (still do), but it just wasn't right.

So now...I have to believe that there is a "one" type of person out there for me. Someone who I feel I wouldn't ever want to live without. Its hard sometimes though right?

Mrs_Doyle · 16-03-2007 10:44AM

louisecm wrote:

I was in a 3 year relationship where he thought I was his "one" and initially I would have said he was my "one", as things just "felt right". But we were young and as time passed my interests and goals changed and what I wanted in my "one" changed too. So...I broke his heart and in doing so injured mine severely too, because I loved him so much (still do), but it just wasn't right.

So now...I have to believe that there is a "one" type of person out there for me. Someone who I feel I wouldn't ever want to live without. Its hard sometimes though right?

Yeah, and what happened to you is totally normal.
You will meet someone, someone who you will be really happy with. I think the main thing is, you need to be happy with yourself, and your life, when your single, that way, this person will just be the icing on the cake.
I don't think its healthy when people live for their partners and their relationship, I think that kinda pressure will always ruin a relationship.

louisecm · 16-03-2007 11:05AM

Mrs_Doyle wrote:

Yeah, and what happened to you is totally normal.
You will meet someone, someone who you will be really happy with. I think the main thing is, you need to be happy with yourself, and your life, when your single, that way, this person will just be the icing on the cake.
I don't think its healthy when people live for their partners and their relationship, I think that kinda pressure will always ruin a relationship.

Yep, I'm with you. I totally agree about people 100% living for their partners and relationship, I'm ALL ABOUT SPACE and my "one" will be too.

gabgab · 16-03-2007 11:21AM

louisecm wrote:

I was in a 3 year relationship where he thought I was his "one" and initially I would have said he was my "one", as things just "felt right". But we were young and as time passed my interests and goals changed and what I wanted in my "one" changed too. So...I broke his heart and in doing so injured mine severely too, because I loved him so much (still do), but it just wasn't right.

Gotta agree with this 100%, what you are looking for at different points in your life will have a dramatic effect on what you are looking for in a partner......

EG: At one point you may be looking for a girl that ticks a number of boxes that contrast quiete severely with other times in your life,

You may want a partner that is absolutely stunning and everyone in the room finds stares at, *because of your own insecurities

OR

You may want someone that is always there for you and can make you laugh and smile,

The ONE changes as your life moves up and down

I'v been in relationships with both these kinds of people, never both in the one person lifes funny like that ,and depending on how your life is going it has a different affect

tallaght01 · 16-03-2007 12:30PM

What?? You mean I'm only supposed to have ONE bird on the go at a time?????

Mrs_Doyle · 16-03-2007 12:33PM

tallaght01 wrote:

What?? You mean I'm only supposed to have ONE bird on the go at a time?????

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bird

Birds are bipedal, warm-blooded, oviparous vertebrate animals characterized primarily by feathers, forelimbs modified as wings, and (in most) hollow bones

http://www.answers.com/topic/bestiality

Bestiality

Sexual relations between a human being and an animal.

At common law, bestiality was considered a crime against nature and was punishable by death.

One Bird is One too Many!

tallaght01 · 16-03-2007 12:45PM

wot about a mot? does that count as beastiality?

Mrs_Doyle · 16-03-2007 12:47PM

tallaght01 wrote:

wot about a mot? does that count as beastiality?

I'm afraid so

dr.bollocko · 16-03-2007 01:25PM

I too have pretty strong feelings on the questions raised on this thread.

Ack!!!
Grrrrrrrchhhhhhhh puke! bleu. bleurgheurghy!
Pfffttttthhhhhhhhschutteryschutteryschuttery. Oh god I can still taste it and Reeeeaaaagggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh bluergh!

Ickle Magoo · 16-03-2007 01:32PM

I knew the minute I met my fella that he was going to be my husband, we stayed together every night since we met, moved in together after a couple of weeks, got engaged the next yr & married the yr after that - and that was 6yrs ago & two kids later & we're still going strong...

I'm not sure if there is a particular definition of "the one" - I think he is just "the one" for me & I'm "the one" for him. I've never considered being unfaithful, leaving him, keeping secrets from him, etc, etc. As long as I have him I'm not interested in meeting anyone else so I guess there could well be other "ones" for me - but I don't want them while I'm lucky enough to have him!

As a married athiest who hasn't set foot in a church in decades, I also have to disagree about marriage being an outdated church anything. We were married by a registrar on an estate in Scotland. Verbalising (& legalising to some degree) commitment to another human being that you love & want to spend the rest of your life with is not the sole realm of any religious body in this day & age.

The 'ONE'.

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