Hides his phone from me

hunnymonster · 31-01-2007 06:43PM

I really don't know on this one. It could be either way as far as I can see. To be honest, if it was me, and everything else was good in the relationship I would just put it down to him being what my mum would call "a wee bit odd" and get on with enjoying myself with him.

Jumpy · 31-01-2007 10:50PM

My god. I honestly question the maturity of some people here.

Trust is the basis of any relationship, if your partner decides to show you the text that they get then great, but if they dont they are not hiding anything and if they are then it will come out in the wash eventually. Paranoia is the relationship killer.

Also a message to those teenagers here who think they know all about the world and how people act - Generally people write here for advice, not to get messages like "omg he luks like he sooo has something to hide, I wud neva trust my bf if he did that lol".
Theres always at least one per thread.

Edit: Just read Gil_Dubs first response. Best Answer Ever.

IrishMike · 01-02-2007 08:11PM

To the OP im in a similiar situation to you except im the guy!
I have female friends and i had no problem with my g/f reading my messages
Then she started to get paranoid whenever i got one from a friend or got a
drunken phonecall when they were out and i was with her
She is insecure and used to get freaked out so i basically told her to stay
away from my fone and that i wouldnt be telling her a thing about any messages
or phonecalls i got in future
I know it seems harsh or petty but what other choice does a person have?
I have about 1000 messages in my inbox at any one time she used to read
every last new one whenever we met and then ask me about them as
if i was doing something wrong
Yet she deletes every single message she gets instantly

Kinda ranting here
Basically what im saying is that unless he feels comfortable showing
you his messages then they are really none of your business
No need to be paranoid or anything, maybe ye havent gotten to the stage
of your relationship where he feels that comfortable with you

And for the "helpful posters" who keep saying he is definitely cheating
have any of ye been in a proper relationship for crying out loud?
Get real because he wont show you messages he is cheating, if thats what
you think with no basis or evidence then enjoy being single for most of yer lives

kippy · 01-02-2007 08:21PM

Dont post in this forum much but will this time.
There are two males whom I know who NEVER let their other halves near the mobile phone. These two males are consistant cheaters and do have something to hide. If their girlfriend got a hold of the phone, and had the cheek to check it, all would be over in a flash.
I do now very faithful guys at the same time who dont let their other halves near the phone for various other reasons.
However, as many have said, trust is a two way thing. If before you mentioned you didnt like him talking to other girls etc he may feel he has no other option but to leave the phone off around you.
I would also ask is there anything else you are suspicious of in your relationship, have there been any trust issues?

PS - What happened before we had mobile phones? This wouldnt have been an issue at all-I personally dont know why anyone would want to keep them that private from someone UNLESS they had something major to hide-but that is my opinion.

ELLIEJ · 02-02-2007 12:58AM

Your gut is never wrong. If you feel he is hiding something he is......

Nevyn · 02-02-2007 01:56AM

oh really and people are never unjustly paraniod ?

ArphaRima · 02-02-2007 10:34AM

Personally I think he's most certainly hiding something. He is by definition hiding the contents of his phone.

I give my phone to my girlfriend all of the time. She does me too. I never look in her inbox though. That's rude. But to HIDE it. Thats just downright suspicious.

Shauna_K · 02-02-2007 01:26PM

yup, he's hiding something i would think.

My ex used to do that sometimes and i was very suspicious of it but he always just laughed it off, turned out he was developing a relationship with someone else who he started seeing the day after we broke up!

However, we still talk sometimes (via txt) and i know when he's with his new girlfriend he turns off his phone but there's nothing going on with us and there never will, but i can imagine she'd be fairly pissed if she new we were still in contact.

TriWannabe · 02-02-2007 02:04PM

OP ???? Read posts and give more info???

sobriquet · 02-02-2007 03:15PM

The OPs BF has a right to privacy. If he's switching off his phone it may well be because the OP is being overly concerned and touchy about it and he doesn't want to have to sing a chorus or reassurance every time his phone buzzes.

A female friend of mine always refers to me as 'babe' in text messages and signs off with lots of xxx's. Were a girlfriend to see that she could very well draw the wrong conclusions - but my friend is like that in every text she sends to any of her friends. In a situation like the OPs that might sound like a lame excuse.

Personally, I'm pretty touchy when it comes to privacy. I'd have to be very close to someone to let them read the contents of my text messages or give them a password to an email address say. It shouldn't be a cause for paranoia - as has been stated already, there has to be mutual trust.

bugs90 · 03-02-2007 05:53AM

Only you can answer your own question and that comes down to trust!
Seems a bit dodgy to me but could be innocent.
I've only had one ex be overprotective of her phone and it turned out she was having an affair but you can't generalise...

Slutmonkey57b · 03-02-2007 11:18AM

The day some scientist invents a portable mind reading device, there'll be some woman posting on here going

"Oh Goood my bf won't let me read his thoughts, what is he hiding???!!one"

Yes switching off his phone around you isn't normal.
No it doesn't mean he's cheating. There'd be other signs as well.
Ask him why he does it and don't freak out at the response. If he refuses to say, then ask him if it's because he thinks you'll freak out.

red_ice · 03-02-2007 01:24PM

sounds to me like the OP is insecure. I dont let anyone look at my phone, and i intentionally dont show my GF. I dont have to share my private texts with her, those messages are ment for me and i will act on them as i wish. That doesnt make me a bad person, it makes me normal. Every now and then (couple of months), if my phone is unlocked i ask her to pass me my phone, and if i notice she hasnt gone to read my message ill say 'would you read that out for me' before i've even read the message, but thats if i see shes been trusting on her behalf.

Relationships are based on trust, if you dont trust him (which you clearly dont), you should probably do something about it... i think its terrible that a men these days cant have something to themselves

red_ice · 03-02-2007 01:30PM

ooh god theres more...

Yes switching off his phone around you isn't normal.
No it doesn't mean he's cheating. There'd be other signs as well.
Ask him why he does it and don't freak out at the response. If he refuses to say, then ask him if it's because he thinks you'll freak out.

Maybe he switches off his phone because he doenst want to have to deal with you wanting to read every single message that he gets. Maybe your constant need to read his messages causes an arguement? It is possible he could be cheating, but its also very possible that we are hearing it from your paro mind. I seriously doubt hes cheating, there'd be other signes. If you go to looking for these signs now, you definitly have a trust issue.

Silverfish · 03-02-2007 03:37PM

Maybe he's switching it off for the reason one of my exes always switched off his phone around me?

'The only person I want to hear from ever is sitting right here with me'

Awwww!

(cheating swine)

chump · 03-02-2007 04:06PM

if ya really want to wind up the bf/gf, when you get a txt, laugh to yourself and put phone away - say no more.

Dutchology · 03-02-2007 06:41PM

If you really trust this guy let it go! If I felt the need to I could read the messages on my man's phone - when he's not looking. I have access to and know all of his passwords for possibly everything, but that does not make me log into his e-mails and other things in order to "check up on him". I'm pretty sure however that if I asked I could!

Let it go!

IrishMike · 03-02-2007 08:24PM

Red_Ice totally agree. Its none of the OP business what messages he gets imho

@chump thats genius, im off to try it out (*braces himself for WW3!)

Seraphina · 03-02-2007 09:17PM

i cant believe the amount of girls who seem to think its normal to just read their boyfriends or friends texts. i was out with my boyfriend one night and his friend (female) just picked up his phone off the table and started going through his texts. i couldn't believe it, it was like it was totally normal (turns out a few of them apparently do it all the time)

i have never and would never read a bfs texts without him asking me to, and i would expect the same from a bf. i have nothing to hide, but its basic privacy, almost like listening in on someones phonecalls or something...

Hides his phone from me

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