Hides his phone from me

LegacyUser · 28-01-2007 08:38PM #1

Ok, half afraid to ask opinions on this but should I instantly think the worst when my bf switches his phone off when Im around?
I know he gets texts from girls cos he has a few female friends through work but Im ok with that and Ive told him its ok as long as he isnt flirting with them or anything. He says he hides it from me so I wont freak out at him.
I think he is just gonna make me think he has somethin to hide when he really doesnt. Or does he....aaaaaaargggggggh!

Sony · 28-01-2007 09:24PM

yeah sounds as though he's hiding something im afraid-very badly!!

Trinity · 28-01-2007 09:29PM

Depends really. How long have you been going out and how serious is the relationship.

Some guys hide things for sinister reasons and other just do it to avoid a possible confrontation i.e. they think you are going to freak and cant handle a row.

I know you might say you wouldnt freak but in their heads they imagine you will. Or you might have freaked out at him years ago but the memory stays in his head.

I had a similar problem, not with a phone but something else. When i found out it caused a bigger problem cos he made it seem he had something to hide. Sorry for being so evasive but i would rather not go into it.

His reason for not telling me is that he thought i would have been upset. I was actually only upset that he lied (or hid it from me)

The_Minister · 28-01-2007 09:31PM

Sounds like he has playful banter with friends, which might be misinterpreted as flirting.

fade2black · 28-01-2007 09:31PM

I'd say what he's hiding is probably harmless but methinks he knows you don't trust him so what's the point in showing you a text from a girl when he knows you'll just flip out.

Rb · 28-01-2007 09:32PM

Sony wrote:

yeah sounds as though he's hiding something im afraid-very badly!!

I agree. Yes OP, it really does seem as though he has something to hide, especially if he says he won't show you because you'll freak out.

Also, it seems you don't fully trust your "boyfriend", without trust a relationship is nothing.

randylonghorn · 28-01-2007 09:35PM

CMB2 wrote:

I think he is just gonna make me think he has something to hide when he really doesnt.

Quite possibly, if you've been going on at him about who he's getting texts /calls from ... that would annoy me, tbh.

Or he may be just winding you up, and not realise it's actually getting to you.

Or he may actually have something to hide, but that would be the worst case scenario, and if you're going to go through life always thinking the worst of everyone, you're going to give yourself a lot of grief.

If I had to guess, I would go for the first option.

AngryBadger · 28-01-2007 11:37PM

So he turns his phone off when you're around? And this is grounds for suspecting he's playing away because....

Sounds to me like you're paranoid. If he doesn't want you reading his texts that's his prerogatiove, if you're so insecure in yourself and your relationship that you can't deal with him enforcing whatever privacy he wants then break up with him :rolleyes:

Rabies · 29-01-2007 01:27AM

Sony wrote:

yeah sounds as though he's hiding something im afraid-very badly!!

Not really. I don't like people having my phone, that incuded my ex. She often asked, I told her no. Had no problem telling her who the messages or calls were from, but I draw a line at people reading my messages.

I wouldn't do it to a girl I was going out with, and I would expect the same. It is a matter of privacy.

Alter-Ego · 29-01-2007 02:28AM

It's probably nothing. Personally i don't let anybody have my phone. I've got nothing to hide i just don't like anybody looking at my messages etc..

Talk to him about it.

kaalgat · 30-01-2007 08:55PM

Don't think I would like if my bf switched off his phone whenever I was around.
Would make me feel like he's hiding something..

BeardyGit · 30-01-2007 09:24PM

There's no discussion to be had on this one as far as I can see.

Let him do what he wants with his phone and mind your own business.

Do that and you'll save the both of you some needless hassle.

gamer · 30-01-2007 09:35PM

Hes got something to hide,does he go out alot without out you ?is the rest of his behavior normal?A GF doesnt have the right to read every txt ,but knocking off your phone when your gf is around is strange.20percent of people in relationships have affairs.Either hes having affair,or he may be involved in sum illegal activity.OR he has a mental problem?Most of the blokes i know have had affairs ,while in a serious relationship.
I cannot think of a reasonable innocent explanation for this ,unless his female friends r slagging you,sending sexy flirty txts and he doesnt want to get in trouble with you ,because of thier behavior.Maybe hes a ladies man,getting txts from ex girlfriends.

Stench Blossoms · 30-01-2007 09:36PM

I'd agree with what a few people have said, it would seem that he's hiding something from you.

I had the same issue with my ex and it drove me mental and even more suspicious. Turned out that he was cheating on me in the end.

SoupyNorman · 30-01-2007 10:32PM

Strange one OP, sounds really suspicious but switching the phone off is so blatent it could be paranoia on his behalf not wanting to make you jealous. Would probably be worse if he was more secretive with his texting, like facing the phone away from your line of sight for example.

I get paraniod sometimes when girls bebo me but my gal knows i'm a one woman man!

sweet-rasmus · 30-01-2007 10:47PM

most likely he doesn't want you freaking out when he receives texts from other girls. and expecting they may arrive when you are together, this may be his solution at not worrying you. (if you've made a big deal about any in the past perhaps?)

then again... but you can't let that worry you. if you notice anything else amiss, then worry, but you have to trust him otherwise. try not to think about it!

the_syco · 31-01-2007 01:23AM

fade2black wrote:

I'd say what he's hiding is probably harmless but methinks he knows you don't trust him so what's the point in showing you a text from a girl when he knows you'll just flip out.

Agreed. No offense, but it sounds like you want a reason to confront him, and he fears you'll loose your head over any filthy jokes they send ye.

Anti · 31-01-2007 03:08AM

I dont let anyone look at my phone. Its mine, and i would be offended if someone went through my phone.

My ex did this to me while i was in the shower one morning. She told me straight away. And i walked out of the relationship there and then. And there was nothing to hide. Its just a personal thing.

TriWannabe · 31-01-2007 03:18AM

Let me ask you all this..........Of all of you who say they don't like other people to read their messages, look at their phone or whatever....how many of you Actually TURN OFF your phone when GF or BF are around????

Draw your own conclusions

Rabies · 31-01-2007 03:26AM

My phone is never off. But if my g/f had a habit of snooping, then I would.

The OP needs to talk to her b/f about her concerns. If he can't give a valid reason, or even show his g/f some of the messages to put her mind at rest. Then I would agree that there is a strong chance he is hiding something.

TriWannabe · 31-01-2007 03:27AM

Oh, and by the way, I think there is a point that is being missed here.........

HEEEEEEE is creating a problem here. HEEEEEEEE is turning off his phone because HEEEEE doesn't TRUST his GF to either not look at his phone or not like what messages he gets or phone calls he gets etc.

HEEEEE doesn't trust HERRR.

I don't recall CMB2 saying she has ever actually looked at his phone.

BeardyGit · 31-01-2007 09:30AM

TriWannabe wrote:

Oh, and by the way, I think there is a point that is being missed here.........

HEEEEEEE is creating a problem here. HEEEEEEEE is turning off his phone because HEEEEE doesn't TRUST his GF to either not look at his phone or not like what messages he gets or phone calls he gets etc.

HEEEEE doesn't trust HERRR.

I don't recall CMB2 saying she has ever actually looked at his phone.

Radiohead's 'Just' chorus always starts playing in my head when I read these threads....

You do it to yourself, you do
And that's what really hurts
Is that you do it to yourself
Just you, you and no-one else
You do it to yourself
You do it to yourself

I'll bet she kicked this off by not minding her own business about what texts he was getting in the first place. I'll bet her insecurity took over there and she backed him into a corner over texting women etc. Anything that made her feel a little nervous came right to the surface. Maybe there were tears, maybe there was a tantrum. But damn sure she didn't give him room to move.

The moment a mobile phone causes a problem in my relationship, I'll throw the phone in the canal quicker than a 12 year old can turn on a playstation.

You brought this on yourself OP.

Heinrich · 31-01-2007 09:39AM

My phone is always on and I have absolutely nothing private in it, why should I?

It is a bloody phone not a personal diary! If you can't trust someone that's one thing but if you can't be straight then that's another.

Trust is 2-way

rick_fantastic · 31-01-2007 09:47AM

maybe the boyfriend just doesnt want to be interupted while spending quality time with the OP ????

my last girlfriend used to love getting her grubby little hands on my phone when i wasnt around, read all my texts and then reply to the ones she didnt like threatening them and then deleting the messages and denying she did it......

seamus · 31-01-2007 10:04AM

Gil_Dub wrote:

I'll bet she kicked this off by not minding her own business about what texts he was getting in the first place. I'll bet her insecurity took over there and she backed him into a corner over texting women etc. Anything that made her feel a little nervous came right to the surface. Maybe there were tears, maybe there was a tantrum. But damn sure she didn't give him room to move.

I'd agree with that. Chances are the OP used to ask "Who's that?" every time her boyfriend got a text, and then put on a sour face if it was from one of his female friends. It's lose-lose for the man. If he says it's one of the female friends, then the girlfriend either goes on the offensive or sulks. If he tells her to mind her own business, she gets offended.

There's also a good chance that the OP may have mentioned in the past that she doesn't like/doesn't trust one or more of her boyfriend's female friends, so he avoids having to answer the above question by turning off his phone.

Tar.Aldarion · 31-01-2007 11:36AM

seamus wrote:

I'd agree with that. Chances are the OP used to ask "Who's that?" every time her boyfriend got a text, and then put on a sour face if it was from one of his female friends. It's lose-lose for the man. If he says it's one of the female friends, then the girlfriend either goes on the offensive or sulks. If he tells her to mind her own business, she gets offended.

Or else they say, ' I bet that's <insert girls name here> etc.
If you have no other reason to not trust him, don't...

Magic Pips · 31-01-2007 11:38AM

rick_fantastic wrote:

my last girlfriend used to love getting her grubby little hands on my phone when i wasnt around, read all my texts and then reply to the ones she didnt like threatening them and then deleting the messages and denying she did it......

PSYCHO!:eek:

OP: Chill out, his space is his own and you should leave it like that

rick_fantastic · 31-01-2007 12:16PM

Magic Pips wrote:

PSYCHO!:eek:

OP: Chill out, his space is his own and you should leave it like that

yeah tell me bout it.

twas a rough two years i tell ya. she put me off relationships big time.

Kinetic^ · 31-01-2007 03:38PM

TriWannabe wrote:

Oh, and by the way, I think there is a point that is being missed here.........

HEEEEEEE is creating a problem here. HEEEEEEEE is turning off his phone because HEEEEE doesn't TRUST his GF to either not look at his phone or not like what messages he gets or phone calls he gets etc.

HEEEEE doesn't trust HERRR.

I don't recall CMB2 saying she has ever actually looked at his phone.

Prevention is better than cure imo.

31-01-2007 05:54PM

Heh- it's funny, when I showed the OP to the boyfriend he said "wow, sounds like the guy is hiding something".
I would have said the same but after reading these posts, I'm not too sure...
OP, did you ask "who's that" all the time?
I mean, sometimes I do cos I'm curious, but I don't give a damn if they're male or female or whatever...

dvega · 31-01-2007 06:22PM

I was texting another girl while going out with someone,eventually the night came where that girl text me while i was with my gf.I had to mke a quick excuse and tried to delete the message while in the toilet,she knew something was up so from then on i turned my phone on silent....nough said...

Hides his phone from me

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