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My night as Ross O'Carroll Kelly

2

Comments

  • Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 21,505 Mod ✭✭✭✭Agent Smith


    i'll be honest, when he said "THE LIVING ROOM"...


    i thought he ment his house....


    i was like, WTF??


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,240 ✭✭✭✭Sangre


    Basically I have been reading the Ross O Carroll Kelly books.Decided that Wednesday night that I would go out inspired by ROCK.

    I was wearing Ralph chinos,Hilfiger top and Diesel shirt and to finish it off sunglasse.Looking the biz.Head out to "the living room".Quiet enough.Getting the dutch courage to get the act on later on in the night.Drinking pints of Fosters coz I am pretty poor at the moment.At the back of the bar,get chatting to these group of girls.Filling them full of crap about being the captain of the Nuig soccer team(im not).They are all like"Really.You must get lodsa girls"I know I have scored.Kiss her and realise that its the earliest that I have pulled since rag week last year.*Cue about 6 more pints of beer*

    Make it to CP's.Have lost the girl.I hit the bar and start doing shots of Sambuca.This is where my memory goes fuzzy.Start talking to this girl as I queue to put my jacket in.Telling her how I went to the institute in Dublin and how daddy had bought me a BMW for completing my Christmas exams and she is all over me as I start on about how it was difficult trying to get the lads motivated for the soccer.Score her.

    Then I go mental on the dancefloor bopping away.Absolutely scuttered.At this stage I have started talking to a few charmers who seemed to have no interest in me till I filled the full of bs about being captain and being rich.
    Try it on with this girl who had a bf.Basically he starts giving me grief.
    Don't really remember this but my words back to him were "Do you know who I am?I am Donal Leech(not real name).Legendary in and out of the sack"

    The lads bring me off.Head up to supermacs.Notice a few scobies.Start singing "We are rich and we know we are" which is when one of them pulled a knife on me and I promptly ran home.

    Basically I was focking bananas that night.What was surprising was how easily women fell for you if they thought you had money and status.To be honest I would not score a girl every night.So was quite surprised to how girls reacted when you thought you were hot stuff,were overly confident.

    Was totally hungover the next day and my wallet was considerably lighter.
    So what is the attraction to the Ross O Carroll Kelly type?I must add that I am no Brad Pitt so I doubt it was my looks the women were going for.

    So many rookie errors.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,664 ✭✭✭gary the great


    Just to ad fuel to the fire, I thought he was around O'Connell Street at first, theres a supermaces there and a bar called the living room just off O'Connell street opposite the DIT. :p


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,060 ✭✭✭✭biko


    The funniest thing about this thread is the childish location arguments :D
    Jackies going: How am I to know where that is? when the majority has been over to get hammered on stags in these very clubs.

    Well done Dazzler, I might give the idea a go myself. Need some classy clothes tho.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    biko wrote:
    The funniest thing about this thread is the childish location arguments :D
    Jackies going: How am I to know where that is? when the majority has been over to get hammered on stags in these very clubs.

    Thats just not true.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,624 ✭✭✭✭Fajitas!


    Lol's @ OP

    Well done! :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb


    rugbug86 wrote:
    why should i be banned?

    and i'm not from galway and i know the clubs
    Look in the charter under "Making The Natives Restless"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,818 ✭✭✭Bateman


    It's a funny story, in fairness to the lad. Not something I'd try in Dublin though, the birds are far too sophisticated to fall for the act. :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb


    Bateman wrote:
    It's a funny story, in fairness to the lad. Not something I'd try in Dublin though, the birds are far too sophisticated to fall for the act. :)
    So you're saying Dubliners are somewhat more socially evolved that their country counterparts? Oh dear, the muckers won't like that at all :p

    Though in some parts of this country, "scoring" a girl would probably still be considered as knocking her over the head with your club and dragging her back to your cave...I won't say what parts though :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,204 ✭✭✭bug


    Bateman wrote:
    It's a funny story, in fairness to the lad. Not something I'd try in Dublin though, the birds are far too sophisticated to fall for the act. :)

    I think the majority of Dublin birds abhor the Ross OCK type.

    Funnily enough, through a vast poll of five men, I've found a trend;
    those who think the books are hilariously side-splitting are from the country or D4 heads themselves.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,365 ✭✭✭hunnymonster


    rugbug86 wrote:
    and CP's - you may forget what happens in there, but you never forget the place!

    yep, UCG Science class of '94 :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb


    bug wrote:
    I think the majority of Dublin birds abhor the Ross OCK type.

    Funnily enough, through a vast poll of five men, I've found a trend;
    those who think the books are hilariously side-splitting are from the country or D4 heads themselves.
    I'm not a D4, I'm not from Dublin, but yet I found the books funny (hilarious at times)...your poll is flawed I say!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,578 ✭✭✭Scraggs


    rb_ie wrote:
    If so, that must have seemed extremely odd in Carlow of all places...

    Maybe thats what attracted them to you Dazzler, they thought you were a rich Dubliner who would sweep them off their feet and take them to places that had shop floors layed with carpet, restaurants with foods from all over the World, cars of many makes and so much more...the place they've only dreamt about...the "big shmoke" :p

    You've never been to Carlow have you:p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb


    Scraggs wrote:
    You've never been to Carlow have you:p
    Ummm....will a maybe satisfy you?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    Jeez... are you guys rees or something??????

    Everybody knows that women are attracted to males they percieve as powerfull and in charge.

    Check out the animal kingdom for Chrissakes!!!!

    How the fcuk else was CJ Haughey percieved as "sexy"

    C,mon....get real here..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb


    How the fcuk else was CJ Haughey percieved as "sexy"

    I dunno, why do you think he was sexy?


  • Posts: 81,308 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Anderson Scary Seal


    Jeez... are you guys rees or something??????

    Everybody knows that women are attracted to males they percieve as powerfull and in charge.

    Check out the animal kingdom for Chrissakes!!!!

    How the fcuk else was CJ Haughey percieved as "sexy"

    C,mon....get real here..

    It's interesting how people spend half the time talking about how we're so far removed from and better than animals, and then spend the other half comparing us to them...

    What's "rees" by the way...?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    rb_ie wrote:
    I dunno, why do you think he was sexy?

    I dont think he was sexy..

    However he was percieved as sexy because of two things

    MONEY

    POWER


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb



    However he was percieved as sexy

    By you?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    I dont think he was sexy..

    However he was percieved as sexy because of two things

    MONEY

    POWER


    Whatever you are on I want some..


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb


    Whatever you are on I want some..
    So you didn't *think* he was sexy but you perceived him as sexy...fair enough ;)

    and I only have enough to get me through the night...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    NO son...

    He was percieved as sexy.....not by me.... by others, other people,people other than me,people who I am not!! The Press,socialites,gossip columists,those kind of people,not me,not F Bantam,


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb


    NO son...

    He was percieved as sexy.....not by me.... by others, other people,people other than me,people who I am not!! The Press,socialites,gossip columists,those kind of people,not me,not F Bantam,
    It sounds like you're trying to convince yourself more than me here tbh :p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    Just tryin to help you out son... I can't make it any clearer than that.

    Listen! read it again in the morning when your head clears.

    I take no offence at all.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb


    Just tryin to help you out son... I can't make it any clearer than that.

    Listen! read it again in the morning when your head clears.

    I take no offence at all.
    Don't be embarrassed, I'm sure CJ would have been delighted to know you perceived him as sexy.

    Anyway, no offence intended. Apologies to the mods for de-railing yet another thread this evening.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,658 ✭✭✭✭Peyton Manning


    He thinks youre his son....


  • Posts: 9,005 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Well.I could never ever pull off the Ross O Carroll Kelly accent.I'm a culchie at heart and always will be.:p
    It was fun to do.But it is really focking hard to dance in CP's with sunglasses on.
    Yes I am in Galway.I'm a Science head.(This obviously was not revealed to the girls while I was out.)lol
    As a follow-on.Most of the girls that text were pretty dead on about it saying that I was funny and very confident.They all said it was the confidence that got them interested in me.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,331 ✭✭✭✭bronte


    lol at OP! I'm reading those books at the moment and they're pretty funny!
    In fairness if you were Ross you would have taken the girl home and then stolen a crap cd out of her collection the next morning as a trophy! :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,509 ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    rugbug86 wrote:
    Ya do realise that Ross would have brought the girls home, right?
    Yeah ... for his usual 2 minute marathon! :D
    rb_ie wrote:
    Though in some parts of this country, "scoring" a girl would probably still be considered as knocking her over the head with your club and dragging her back to your cave...I won't say what parts though :D
    Well, if your "club" is big enough ... ;)
    But it is really focking hard to dance in CP's with sunglasses on.
    Most of the time, it is really focking hard to dance in CPs, full stop!

    Can't help wondering if at least some of the girls saw through the act immediately, and were more attracted to the sense of humour / bit of mischief.

    Don't know many girls who would be seriously attracted to the RossOCK type ... though they might be happy enough to let him buy them a few drinks before dumping him!

    Anyway, Dazzler, fair play for having the stones to give it a go ... doubt I could pull it off for more than a couple of minutes.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 736 ✭✭✭johnp


    i'll be honest, when he said "THE LIVING ROOM"...


    i thought he ment his house....


    i was like, WTF??

    You trying out the Ross O'Carroll Kelly persona too? ;):p


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