Found out my gf is underage.

r3nu4l · 05-01-2007 06:24PM

I can't decide if this is for real or not

1. thread title says gf but you only know her a few days.
2. someone else told you or she told you?
3. you get to stay in her house yet there are no parents around?

If this is for real then I would say you are clear over the first night because she was in an over 18's establishment so you can reasonably assume she is over 18 (but can you really, as most non-city-centre clubs I know have loads of under 18's running around, like a creche).

Either way, now you know she is 14 (or think you do!), so as Andrea Bocelli might say it's 'time to say goodbye'!

As for her becoming spiteful and telling people what happened...tricky, not sure how you would get away from that. Perhaps witnesses or friends that saw you in the club chatting with her would be enough to let people know you don't spend your spare time creeping around schoolyards looking for vulnerable schoolgirls!

Just get out now.

challengemaster · 05-01-2007 06:36PM

Underreged wrote:

I go home with her (I spend the night but not everything happens)

right.. this sounds just a tad suspicous. if she was 14 how the hell did you manage to spend the night at her place? surely the parents would have seen you?

Blue_Lagoon wrote:

Jail bate?

i think you mean Jailbait

weeder · 05-01-2007 06:45PM

this happened to a chap i know he was 23 and the girl was 15 but he though she was 18 2 conesenting adults so it was ok until after they broke up one the the cops came a knocking he got off with it in the end because she lied but it just goes to show ya get out now

Capt'n Midnight · 05-01-2007 06:48PM

Are you familiar with the term 'Jailbait' ?

try again in a few years / does she have an older sister ?

[edit just seen the other CM post]

Sniipe · 05-01-2007 06:51PM

run forest run!!

Boston · 05-01-2007 07:10PM

Wasn't there a big thing in the news awhile back about how "I didn't know how old she was" is no longer a defense?

weeder · 05-01-2007 11:56PM

yeah but i dont think they passed the law in the end

Boston · 05-01-2007 11:57PM

I'm 90% certain they did.

Sad Professor · 06-01-2007 12:16AM

Is this for real? I've a hard time believing a 14-year-old can look 18. And the OP sounds way too clueless to be 18 himself. When did this happen? You meet her once in a club and she's your girlfriend already? :rolleyes:

rediguana · 06-01-2007 12:19AM

Underreged wrote:

So was in a nightclub, basically a hot girl comes onto me, we get off with each other, she tells me she's 18(same as me), I go home with her (I spend the night but not everything happens), a few days later I'm told she's 14????

I feel like a pretty bad, but I like her though, but I can't stay with a 14yo though can i?

She seems faily infatuated with me, maybe that's just cause of her age. I dunno how much i like her. I do think shes hot though. I take it it'll have to end?

Lose her fast before the law gets on your ass!

06-01-2007 12:26AM

Underreged wrote:

So was in a nightclub, basically a hot girl comes onto me, we get off with each other, she tells me she's 18(same as me), I go home with her (I spend the night but not everything happens), a few days later I'm told she's 14????

I feel like a pretty bad, but I like her though, but I can't stay with a 14yo though can i?

She seems faily infatuated with me, maybe that's just cause of her age. I dunno how much i like her. I do think shes hot though. I take it it'll have to end?

Sounds like a GPO nightclub to me.Don't go near.

ADO · 06-01-2007 12:38AM

wow! dude hard luck there! seriously tho and i know this is completly off topic but how on earth does a 14yr old get into a nightclub and people at the age of 21+ get refused!?!? it really does annoy me......sorry for the rant...

Johnee · 06-01-2007 12:51AM

wrote:

AFAIK The nightclub's just responsible for allowing her to be on the premises while she was under 18. The op can't be charged because he assumed she was over 18, but now that he knows he can be if he does it again. So run for your life OP

He can still be charged for it. Its not very likely but possible.

Just to clear up the misleading comments on the law on this - all that Joe Duffy furore about 'paedos on every corner' was about this very issue. The old law said that there was no defence of thinking the girl was older. Once you had sex and she was younger, you were automatically guilty.

The Supreme Court said (personally I think not unreasonably) that that's unfair. They said that you cant say that automatically, in every case, reasonable mistake is irrelevant. In some cases, a person might be able to convince a jury they were mistaken about the girl's age(the OP's being a classic example where she was in a club).

It doesnt mean he'll automatically get off but the law now is that you can raise it as a defence. If the jury believe you, than you're not guilty.

This may come up if there's a referendum though - the politicians seem to want to bring back the old system whereby you can never use mistake as a defence.

Worth remembering when the chat in the press is all about paedophiles.

Who are already covered by other offences too btw.

Boston · 06-01-2007 12:55AM

Johnee wrote:

Worth remembering when the chat in the press is all about paedophiles.

Who are already covered by other offences too btw.

If the 14 year old was male most people on this thread would be calling the Op a paedophile.

Capt'n Midnight · 06-01-2007 02:28AM

Garret wrote:

remember kids, if she's in an over 18s place she should already have been asked for ID so its green light

I'm sure the judge/jury would agree :rolleyes:

Anti · 06-01-2007 02:48AM

LiouVille wrote:

If the 14 year old was male most people on this thread would be calling the Op a paedophile.

That is very true.

But when have you seen a 14 year old boy actually looks 18 ?

Girls do develop alot earlier then boys.

I myself have a 14 year old niece, and she could easilly pass for 18. And a friends brother is 16, and still looks about 12.

But OP, we need to know, Did you spend the night at her house ? If so where the **** are her parents ?

also as said before, how did you find out her age ?

And whatever you do, drop all contact with her.

Victor · 06-01-2007 03:55AM

hmmmm wrote:

The girl was obviously let into a nightclub where legally only people 18+ are permitted - so should he not be legally entitled to presume she was 18+. Is the nightclub not responsible in some way?

Only for her being on the premises.

Would you have married people banend form nightclubs in case they went home with the wrong person?

Doesn't work that way reallty. The whole legal furore which came up a few months back was over the issue of a reasonable mistake. That is, if you had reasonable cause to believe the other party was over the age of consent (being in a nightclub may count), then you can't be guilty of the act because there was no further steps you could/should have taken to ensure you weren't breaking the law. If you meet someone in a nightclub, you're not going to ask them to prove their age, nor are you entitled to demand that they prove it.

It's a bit too open, but the Government are rushing to close it and make it so that you go to jail, regardless of the circumstances, which is totally going to the wrong extreme in the opposite direction, but that's another thread.

Be very careful, the door is closed. All those guys who still stand accused are facing other charges. The Supreme Court merely said you couldn't give someone a life sentence in the case of genuine mistake. You can still get 3-10 years even if you make a genuine mistake.

Garret wrote:

remember kids, if she's in an over 18s place she should already have been asked for ID so its green light

What, you've never heard of a teenager lying / bluffing to get into an over-18 premises?

Adam · 06-01-2007 09:23AM

EDIT: Just noticed page 2 and 3... methinks my opinions are no longer necessary. Mostly because I don't need to read 2 more pages of "run like fook!"...

tman · 06-01-2007 09:36AM

Mirror wrote:

EDIT: Just noticed page 2 and 3... methinks my opinions are no longer necessary. Mostly because I don't need to read 2 more pages of "run like fook!"...

Aye, but there's a slight chance that he still hasn't got the message...
RUN YOU FOOL!!!!!

Skiesonfire19 · 06-01-2007 11:47AM

In the eyes of the law, 18 and 14.. It's rape, man!

BAIL!! AND BAIL NOW!!

Skies

ZygOte · 06-01-2007 12:03PM

Underreged wrote:

So was in a nightclub, basically a hot girl comes onto me, we get off with each other, she tells me she's 18(same as me), I go home with her (I spend the night but not everything happens), a few days later I'm told she's 14????

I feel like a pretty bad, but I like her though, but I can't stay with a 14yo though can i?

She seems faily infatuated with me, maybe that's just cause of her age. I dunno how much i like her. I do think shes hot though. I take it it'll have to end?

if this is for real you need to be gone. YESTERDAY

" I can't stay with a 14yo though can i?" ---- ARE YOU F'ING MAD? :eek:

any why in the origonal subject of this thread do you refer to her as your gf?

"Found out my gf is underage."

you worry me.

Skiesonfire19 · 06-01-2007 12:16PM

Good Call!

Skies

artnotort · 06-01-2007 12:20PM

ZygOte wrote:

any why in the origonal subject of this thread do you refer to her as your gf?

exactly what i was thinking.

Elessar · 06-01-2007 01:34PM

It's funny how the law works. The government is taking it in the wrong direction, for the sake of the frothing at the mouth masses. I have always been puzzled why issues such as age of consent and anything to do with under 18s brings about such extreme and sometimes violent reactions from the public

It's even worse in North America. There was a case recently where a 15/16 year old boy was sent to jail for 10 years for receiving a blowjob from a 14 year old girl. The girl was never charged with anything.

*sigh* It will be a long long time before society matures to some decent level.

Johnee · 06-01-2007 02:55PM

Victor wrote:

Be very careful, the door is closed. All those guys who still stand accused are facing other charges. The Supreme Court merely said you couldn't give someone a life sentence in the case of genuine mistake. You can still get 3-10 years even if you make a genuine mistake.

In case anyone's confused about what the Supreme Court said, its here:

http://www.courts.ie/Judgments.nsf/AllJudgments/877F6B6773B3DCEE80257177003C6586?opendocument&COUB-6X7JAX

There was nothing about life sentences. The old system was that you were automatically guilty. The new says you can argue mistake as a defence, and hope the jury believe you.

And to the person who said a change would be unconstitutional - that's why they need a referendum. If the people vote to go back to the old system, then there'll be no defence of mistake again.

LegacyUser · 06-01-2007 03:44PM

'

Underreged wrote:

So was in a nightclub, basically a hot girl comes onto me, we get off with each other, she tells me she's 18(same as me), I go home with her (I spend the night but not everything happens), a few days later I'm told she's 14????

I feel like a pretty bad, but I like her though, but I can't stay with a 14yo though can i?

She seems faily infatuated with me, maybe that's just cause of her age. I dunno how much i like her. I do think shes hot though. I take it it'll have to end?

I have resently visited Ireland, and I have found that people talk about this topic too much.
Why don't you all become more like modernised continental Europe and the corruption regarding consentual laws wouud die off a little.
I would find it annoying to live in a country that didn't believe you could make a mistake about someone being 16, whether they could have abortion, the right to same sex marriage etc etc.
It is like parts of the world underdeveloped.
This personal problem is because of your goverment, and social values.
Modernise.'

LegacyUser · 06-01-2007 04:32PM

'I found myself in bizarrely similar circumstances as the OP. Saw a girl at a gig, nothing happened but got her number a few weeks later.
told me she was 17, i was 19 at the time.
went out for bout 6 weeks (didn't sleep together) and then she broke it off with me. convinced her to stay with me but then she told me the truth; that she was 14.
I didn't even believe her at first, this girl gets served in pubs no problem so it came as quite a shock. what's more i really liked her and that really really pissed me off cause suddenly my feelings were wrong.

OP you can't continue to go with out with her. When I found out the truth I made up my mind immediately. We barely even talked for a year, she said some mean things but Christ there was nothing I could do.
Still we're good friends now so it can end up ok. It's unlikely you will end up with any charges (not saying you nor I didn't break the law, we just didn't know) . After all while she was incredibly immature to lead you on like that she at least has the sense to know what she was about.

Just walk away, cut contact for now. if you want to be friends again in the future fine but always keep it strictly platonic.

Don't be too hard on yourself though, just chalk it up to experience and be more careful next time. good luck.'

LegacyUser · 06-01-2007 05:13PM

Quite the incendiary topic. Just a few things I feel should be said in reply to a couple of posts:

1. It's not that strange a scenario - it's about as likely to be as a piss take as any given PI really.

2. 14 year old girls can be hot. We all know it. Admitting it doesn't make a person a freak, and not saying it certainly doesn't make it any less true.

3. Yeah, we all know it's wrong too.

OP, I'd ask you two things... how exactly did you find out she was 14? And deep down, do you want to persue a long term relationship with this person? If it's really important to you, you could still maintain a romantic friendship and put the physical part aside for a few years until she's old enough. But you'd want to be seriously damn sure that you want to commit here, it's a bit of an iffy area to approach with half a heart.

When I was 23 I became friends with a 14 year girl, and over a few months things got quite emotionally involved (she was very attracted to me from the start, and I was in a pretty lonely place in my life). We eventually kissed a few times, mutually decided that we couldn't practically proceed with it, and remained friends. Except she didn't like being friends, and a rather short while later the lovely girl I'd come to implicitly trust turned into a completely different person full of rage and animosity towards me.

As it sits, you've been misled, so you can still account for your actions to others and to yourself. But anything you do from here on is with the full knowledge. So take my advise, and run like hell.

hullaballoo · 06-01-2007 06:00PM

Louville wrote:

Wasn't there a big thing in the news awhile back about how "I didn't know how old she was" is no longer a defense?

No, it was the other way around.

In the past, you couldn't use "I didn't know how old s/he was" as a defence, but you can now. That's what the whole Mr A case was about. The Supreme Court found that s 1 (1) was unconstitutional because you couldn't rely on the defence of honest belief.

Edit: apologies, I didn't realise there was another page after that post!

mikemac · 06-01-2007 06:26PM

Just a quick question
If the gardai and the courts ever get involved, it's hardly fair if the OP gets a custodial sentance and the 14yo girl is never charged.

The law was clearly broken but since it was concensual(spelling?), aren't the girl and the OP equally at fault?

Vey confused

Found out my gf is underage.

Comments