Ok I'm a scumbag but help anyways ?

LegacyUser · 01-01-2007 06:28PM #1

Cheating on girlfriend of 3 years with a polish bird, both r really lovely girls and until last nite i didn't seem to have any problem continuing but the morals fairy got to me.

How do i get rid of the polish bird without hurting her ? My tapestry of lies has served me well so i think another white lie would go down well but i'm not sure what it should be ?

Suggestions ?

P.S > Yes i deserve to rot in hell etc. I know.

ferdi · 01-01-2007 08:04PM

yeah, i'd imagine another few lies should sort it out for you.

get an std check

empirix · 01-01-2007 08:28PM

well done - applause and howls of approval from my mates here.. I usually go with,your lovely girl but i think we should just be friends, i dunno i just feel that way, its weird, i'm no good anyway, you can do a lot better than me, i'm not normal........;

etc etc

LegacyUser · 01-01-2007 08:32PM

the selfish egotism of a cheater never ceases to amaze me, as opposed to the act of cheating itself.
Tell the Polish bird the truth, if she knows you've been leading her on with lies chances are her feelings for you will turn to hatred and disgust and you wont have much to worry about.
what makes you think either of these birds would want to be with you knowing that you've lied to them both, or for that matter that it takes a "morals fairy" for you to realise something quite obvious?

Odaise Gaelach · 01-01-2007 08:42PM

Are you really feeling that bad about your morals? Then don't lie to the Polish girl - tell her the truth for goodness sake!

ferdi wrote:

get an std check

Sound advice.

kdouglas · 01-01-2007 08:57PM

try being honest for once, break up with both of them, do you really expect your relationship with your girlfriend of 3 years to last if you've been cheating on her?

Zebra3 · 01-01-2007 08:59PM

Does the Polish bird know she's only a bit on the side or does she think she's the real deal?

LegacyUser · 01-01-2007 09:03PM

empirix wrote:

well done - applause and howls of approval from my mates here.. I usually go with,your lovely girl but i think we should just be friends, i dunno i just feel that way, its weird, i'm no good anyway, you can do a lot better than me, i'm not normal........;

etc etc

Sounds like the best option, cheers.

LegacyUser · 01-01-2007 09:11PM

Gold56 wrote:

the selfish egotism of a cheater never ceases to amaze me, as opposed to the act of cheating itself.

Dah ?

Tell the Polish bird the truth, if she knows you've been leading her on with lies chances are her feelings for you will turn to hatred and disgust and you wont have much to worry about.what makes you think either of these birds would want to be with you knowing that you've lied to them both, or for that matter that it takes a "morals fairy" for you to realise something quite obvious?

Yeah whatever. From my experience its only in very very rare cases where people are faithful to eachother in a long relationship.

I think i'll go with the "lying bastard" approach and make something up.

I don't care if your going out with the most beautiful woman in the world, do the same thing long enough and you get so bored of it no amount of viagra, sex toys or other bs is going to make it anything but a boring chore.

I've seen mates cheating on absolutely gorgeous g/f's with less then acceptable* women because of the sheer boredom of monogomy.

* dogs

formatman · 01-01-2007 09:12PM

stick with the Polish girl and dump your exisiting one

less maintainance long term and better in bed I'm sure

hmmmm · 01-01-2007 09:16PM

I don't see how you need help. You have obviously had no problems lying for your own gain in the past so what is it? You lack the creativity? You have told so many lies you have run out of lies to tell? You could tell her you are a secret agent for the G-2 Military Intelligence Branch and headquaters have passed on orders to go under cover and you must leave her due to security concerns HQ have over her. You cannot understand why but you must obey Headquaters. Is that creative enough for you?

oldbook.jpg

Rb · 01-01-2007 09:21PM

Do the right thing and break up with both of them, you don't deserve either of them.

BeardyGit · 01-01-2007 09:31PM

Ah, he's not going to dump his g/f of 3 years - Doesn't matter what we say.

Just tell the Polish girl you're a cheating dirtbag and get on with whatever you're going to do anyway.

Make sure she's aware not all Irishmen are cheating scum though, will you? Thanks.

Ha, just thought of something - Wouldn't it be funny if you talk in your sleep and give the game away on yourself with your missus...

A little paranoia for sir?

Gil

Umaro · 01-01-2007 09:42PM

ferdi wrote:

get an std check

Why does that seem to be part of the solution for every relationship problem that pops up on this board? He never said he didn't wear connies.

ziggy · 01-01-2007 09:44PM

This post has been deleted.

Nevyn · 01-01-2007 09:46PM

Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

walrusgumble · 01-01-2007 09:54PM

jesus it is not like everyone of the people here have not a one point in their lives being single to all their partners. look it happens.

get rid of the polish doll, but make sure she does not know about your girlfriens in case she is a person who seeks revenge, also, dont tell her you are with someone, just tell her something along the lines you wish to be single or some crap that ya got personal issues that ya need time on your own to sort them out.

how long ya with the polish girl? i am sure she will be alright.

iguana · 02-01-2007 12:28AM

Umaro, condoms don't protect against all std/i's* and they aren't one hundred percent protection against anything. I always used condoms when I was single bu I'd still get a regular sexual health check. It's called being a responsible adult.

Op, I don't think you want any advice just moral support and you seem to be getting pretty snarky that you aren't getting what you want.

*Condom's offer no protection against crabs or pubic lice for example.

walrusgumble wrote:

jesus it is not like everyone of the people here have not a one point in their lives being single to all their partners. look it happens.

Well I've certainly never cheated on anyone so what's your point?

LegacyUser · 02-01-2007 12:43AM

'

iguana wrote:

Well I've certainly never cheated on anyone so what's your point?

I think you're in a minority there iguana. Variety is the spice of life, no woman in the world would ever be enough to keep me fom straying. And even though other lads mightn't post here, Im sure im far from alone in this sentiment'

killeoin · 02-01-2007 01:37AM

walrusgumble wrote:

jesus it is not like everyone of the people here have not a one point in their lives being single to all their partners. look it happens.

get rid of the polish doll, but make sure she does not know about your girlfriens in case she is a person who seeks revenge, also, dont tell her you are with someone, just tell her something along the lines you wish to be single or some crap that ya got personal issues that ya need time on your own to sort them out.

Good advice...remember nothing worse than a scorned women so now is the time to really be on your toes. She could ruin everything for you. Try to be as nice to the polish chick as possible. Do NOT on any account tell her of your gf. Just google it and it'll give you loads of ways to end a relationship in a friendly way.

Also...You're not a scumbag, people do a lot worse in life so I wouldn't worry!

BackwardRussia · 02-01-2007 01:52AM

Yeah I think the moral brigade should relax a little. He knows he did wrong and didn't come here for everyone to repeat that. Ya have to look at these situations practically. This is by far the best advice on this thread so far:

walrusgumble wrote:

jesus it is not like everyone of the people here have not a one point in their lives being single to all their partners. look it happens.

get rid of the polish doll, but make sure she does not know about your girlfriens in case she is a person who seeks revenge, also, dont tell her you are with someone, just tell her something along the lines you wish to be single or some crap that ya got personal issues that ya need time on your own to sort them out.

QFT

iguana · 02-01-2007 01:55AM

killeoin wrote:

She could ruin everything for you.

Somehow if things get screwed up here I don't think it will be either girls fault.

daithimac · 02-01-2007 02:08AM

First thing to do is get your ethics sorted out if you realy think that most relationships involve cheating you have a pretty odd view of the world that may need correction.
as for something to say to let her down easy, try "my old girlfriend from school/college who you were madly in love with and never got over, has just got back into town and were going to try to work things out and resume our relationship"
It makes here feel that getting dumped is because of some flaw she has and it may save your ass if you meet her out with your girlfriend

Laslo · 02-01-2007 02:24AM

Unreqhelpme wrote:

From my experience its only in very very rare cases where people are faithful to eachother in a long relationship.

Not in my experience. Cheating on someone that you've been with for a long time and made a commitment to is one of the most cruel things you can do. It demonstrates selfishness and heartlessness.

Savman · 02-01-2007 03:54AM

unreqhelpme wrote:

Cheating on girlfriend of 3 years with a polish bird, both r really lovely girls and until last nite i didn't seem to have any problem continuing but the morals fairy got to me.

How do i get rid of the polish bird without hurting her ? My tapestry of lies has served me well so i think another white lie would go down well but i'm not sure what it should be ?

Suggestions ?

P.S > Yes i deserve to rot in hell etc. I know.

Simple really. Tell them both the truth and let things take their course, it'll sort itself out pretty swiftly. You do not deserve to "rot in hell" but you have to act like a man when it counts (not just when it suits you).

Face the music, get it over with.

But you won't will you? Better to take the easy way out and just lie, to hell with them both eh? I wouldn't waste my time or yours discussing the morals of cheating, but you will have to confront this issue one day, if you bypass it now no doubt it will come back later in your life and bite you in the ass.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

cournioni · 02-01-2007 10:16AM

i_concur wrote:

'

I think you're in a minority there iguana. Variety is the spice of life, no woman in the world would ever be enough to keep me fom straying. And even though other lads mightn't post here, Im sure im far from alone in this sentiment'

Maybe your girlfriend of so many years isn't the one for you... Have you thought about that? I think you'll find if you love someone enough, it wouldn't cross your mind to cheat on them. Maybe its best if you do in fact break it off with the two of them and you find some girl you actually do care about, rather than lying and cheating to the other two.

The Corinthian · 02-01-2007 10:48AM

I must say that the vast majority of the responses in this thread have been breathtakingly pointless moralistic rants. No doubt they feel a lot better about the pedestals they’re sitting on, but they’ve not done the OP any good.

As for the OP, there’s no real magic bullet for dumping someone – regardless of if she was your sole or twelfth girlfriend. The only thing I would say it is almost always preferable to be dumped rather than to dump (the constructive dismissal approach) as it means you’ll avoid the worst of their ire.

Anyhow, a suggestion: You tell her that your workload (and/or study load) has increased substantially. This will allow you to make excuses and see less and less of her as you are ‘working’. Eventually the relationship will become more and more strained and either she’ll flip and dump you or you can hit her with a variant of the “I don’t have time for a relationship and I don’t want to lead you on” speech.

LegacyUser · 02-01-2007 11:43AM

Savman wrote:

Simple really. Tell them both the truth and let things take their course, it'll sort itself out pretty swiftly. You do not deserve to "rot in hell" but you have to act like a man when it counts (not just when it suits you).

Face the music, get it over with.

Tell them the truth ? How is that possibly going to help my situation in the slightest ?

But you won't will you? Better to take the easy way out and just lie, to hell with them both eh? I wouldn't waste my time or yours discussing the morals of cheating, but you will have to confront this issue one day, if you bypass it now no doubt it will come back later in your life and bite you in the ass.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Yeah.

All i'll say on the "cheating" thing is this. Very VERY few people will stay 100% faithful for a long relationship. This doesn't make them bad people, its human nature, plain and simple.

You know back in "the day" it was quite common for men to have children with other women when they were away at war for long periods of time, for example.

I love my g/f but if i stayed 100% faithful i would have no sex life to speak of. I'd probably die of boredom in a relatively short while, and no its not her, it would be the same with any woman.

cournioni · 02-01-2007 11:49AM

The Corinthian wrote:

I must say that the vast majority of the responses in this thread have been breathtakingly pointless moralistic rants. No doubt they feel a lot better about the pedestals they’re sitting on, but they’ve not done the OP any good.

As for the OP, there’s no real magic bullet for dumping someone – regardless of if she was your sole or twelfth girlfriend. The only thing I would say it is almost always preferable to be dumped rather than to dump (the constructive dismissal approach) as it means you’ll avoid the worst of their ire.

Anyhow, a suggestion: You tell her that your workload (and/or study load) has increased substantially. This will allow you to make excuses and see less and less of her as you are ‘working’. Eventually the relationship will become more and more strained and either she’ll flip and dump you or you can hit her with a variant of the “I don’t have time for a relationship and I don’t want to lead you on” speech.

Unhelpful, yes. Moralistic rant on my high horse... No. I think that if he broke it off with the two girls that everyone is happier. Do you not think so? Surely if this lad gets bored with a girl as he has already said then he is better off being single. If he is worried about missing out on the action he should get himself a fúck buddy... The two girls really don't deserve this treatment, and that is not me talking on my high horse, that is just common sense Corinthian.

Now I think if I was to be helpful to this guy, I think your suggestion of "workload being too much" is completely the wrong way to go. What if this girl has second thoughts and ends up chasing after the OP, possibly from feeling guilty after dumping him. Surely this would lead her straight to his girlfriend at some stage... daithimac has the right idea, if he says that he loves someone else, there is very little that she can do.

Personally if I was the OP I would go with the first one. He obviously doesn't love either of them.

hmmmm · 02-01-2007 01:30PM

unreqhelpme wrote:

its human nature

:rolleyes: as always...

I'd go with what daithimac says.

Savman · 02-01-2007 01:30PM

unreqhelpme wrote:

Tell them the truth ? How is that possibly going to help my situation in the slightest ?

There are 3 people in this situation, telling the truth would serve 2 of them best.

All i'll say on the "cheating" thing is this. Very VERY few people will stay 100% faithful for a long relationship. This doesn't make them bad people, its human nature, plain and simple.

And you have statistics to back this up right? Do not confuse your human nature with that of others. Take some responsibility for your actions ffs.

You know back in "the day" it was quite common for men to have children with other women when they were away at war for long periods of time, for example.

Christ. I didn't think people actually thought like this anymore. Listen bud, as hard as this may be for you to accept, times have changed. Deal with it. Are you saying you want to have kids with different women? Or are you just advocating to make yourself feel better because you have treated both these girls like dirt?

I love my g/f

But you're happy lying to her.

if i stayed 100% faithful i would have no sex life to speak of. I'd probably die of boredom in a relatively short while, and no its not her, it would be the same with any woman.

Rubbish. Learn to control yourself or stay single. Has it ever occurred to you maybe your girlfriend is cheating on you? Or are you the only enlightened being in the universe with needs to satisfy? How would you feel if you were the victim here?

There's a difference between having a moral pedestal and having morals. As if your actions weren't bad enough, your method of justifying your actions are worse. You try to make it sound like you're some kind of ancient warrior on a battlefield and must have your needs taken care of by a number of meaningless village women along your way and that we're not worthy to be in your presence. You asked for advice, I gave it. You're gonna do whatever you want anyway but for the love of god don't try justify your silly actions with silly ideals.

Ok I'm a scumbag but help anyways ?

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