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Ok I'm a scumbag but help anyways ?

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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    Savman wrote:
    Er, no. You're telling me you know how my other half would react to honesty? I'm sure you could use your crystal ball for a better purpose than that. :rolleyes:
    It was a general point and not specific to any individual, least of all anyone associated with you. My point being that you would need to be a moron to actually believe that the truth in all cases is best, especially when all it would achieve is hurting the feelings of another.
    If you think that by him posting anon on an internet board is somehow proof that this guy is trying to clean up his mess you both need yer heads examined.
    Maybe he is, maybe not, but what someone posts here we can only work on what they tell us, not what we would prefer to hear.
    He must have,or should have, anticipated a reaction from those of us who do not think kindly on this kind of mistreatment, especially towards those he proclaims his supposed love for.
    Does that make you feel more justified? That fuzzy self-righteous feeling keeping you warm?
    Frankly I don't give a damn whether he gets his "just deserts" - karma would be best left for the religious discussion board.
    Actually you do, you wouldn’t be ranting about him if you didn’t.
    Likewise.
    There’s a put down. Polysyllabic too.

    Come back when you have substance in a rebuttal.
    Told the polish one my current g/f is an ex and we're considering getting back togeather. Gonna keep gently nudging this idea and seeing less of her for a few weeks and see how it goes.
    Bad idea. Consciously you want to do the right thing, but subconsciously you still want your cake and eat it. You’re actually keeping the door open and you’re just going to end up back in the sack with her – back to square one. As difficult as it may be, you simply have to cut that physical tie and something as ambiguous as “considering getting back together with the ex” simply fails to do that.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,943 ✭✭✭BeardyGit



    There’s a put down. Polysyllabic too.

    Come back when you have substance in a rebuttal.

    Corinthian, you need a good dose of your own medicine. Stop being a pedant - You're contributing nothing of any substance with your nit picking. If you want to pick a fight, you should know better than most where to take it.

    OP, just dump the Polish girl and stop treating her like dirt with your messing around. If you don't want to be with her, don't be with her. It's simple enough, isn't it? Grow a pair, will you?

    Gil


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,720 ✭✭✭El Stuntman


    just tell her this:

    JA nie może widzieć was więcej jak (ponieważ) niedawno spałem z *donkey* i zawierał kontrakt *venereal* choroba


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    El Stuntman, unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
    Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
    Have a nice day.
    Thaedydal


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,522 ✭✭✭✭Gordon


    El Stuntman, that's not helpful thanks.

    Also, TC and co. quit the snide personal remarks and stick to advice for the OP please.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,323 ✭✭✭Savman


    Sorry Corinthian, couldn't be arsed anymore.
    Toodles :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,522 ✭✭✭✭Gordon


    Toodles indeed, banned for a week.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 126 ✭✭haunted-room


    Lorax wrote:
    Cheating on a partner is not human nature, in your opinion. Plenty would disagree with you though. Unless you can find scientific fact to back up your point, I'm gonna disregard it as rubbish.

    The Corinthian is the only person making any sense on this thread. Most people are just judging him as a cheating scumbag, bla bla, etc and trying to turn the thread into a moral debate of whether cheating is right or wrong. Look at the title of the thread, he knows this already, posts like that help nobody except the poster in a desperate attempt to get across their "superior to thou" viewpoint on the subject of cheating. They should actually be banned for off-topic, unhelpful posts in my opinion, but maybe that's why I'm not a moderator. heh

    No, I dont have to prove that. Its never been said officially that it is human nature and anyone who claims it is has no evidence to back it up. Its just people making up facts so they dont look as bad. There is no way that cheating is right full stop. So, what do you expect? Why would anyone want to help someone out in a situation like this? And, its not off topic. Its all directly related to the op's post


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 370 ✭✭Darren


    OP,

    I wouldn't worry about it. They're probably doing the same thing behind your back.


  • Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 35,948 Mod ✭✭✭✭dr.bollocko


    Yeah what I dont appreciate is the OP's dismissive views of his infidelities and claiming it is human nature is a major cop out. But then the major question is if the guilt factor is one that even bothers you.
    Why in the hell would you even bother being in an ongoing relationship with someone you disdain enough to cheat on? If it was the real thing, cheating wouldnt even be an option. It wouldnt even be an issue.
    Seems like you are too insecure to strike out on your own and accept that the relationship isnt working, and worse again, when you felt that the "other woman" wouldnt be able to replace your girlfriend, you just led them both on and lied to them both. You seem much happier hiding behind a tissue of lies and preying in this web of your own making than actually standing up and being a man. This is a sad way to live your life and one that I can only hope you grow out of.
    At least you know now that neither of these women can ever make you happy, and that you could only ever make them happy and be the person they think you are by lying, cheating and being deceitful. Nice one. You betrayed the trust of a woman who loved you, and abused the trust of another. What a guy.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,046 ✭✭✭Dustaz


    cheating on a partner is not human nature.
    No, I dont have to prove that. Its never been said officially that it is human nature and anyone who claims it is has no evidence to back it up. Its just people making up facts so they dont look as bad.


    Im truly astonished that educated people can manage to type this sort of thing and not sit back and re-read it thinking "What the hell, I appear to be an alien from another planet".

    Cheating on people is indeed human nature. For proof, just look around you. Read the papers. Study history. Watch TV (Factual and Fiction). Read some books. Open your eyes and use that brain that is seemingly wasted on you and some of the others in this thread.

    People have been cheating on each other since the beginning of time. Just as they have been killing and robbing each other, trying to persuade each other that their idea of religion is the bestest and trying to pay others to have sex with them.

    Just because something is unsavory does not mean its not human nature.

    This entire post is completely off topic but so are 90% of the replies to this post. The OP is not asking for moral judgement. Hes asking for advice. If you dont agree with his actions, feel free to not burden him with your advice. If he comes back in 3 weeks with "my gf dumped me because i cheated on her with a polish bird who went postal and attacked me as i slept" then its open season but until then treat this post as you might treat a womans cheating confession on these boards and deal with the matter at hand.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,101 ✭✭✭Kingsize


    The OP is a self confessed scumbag, his views on sex & relationships are somewhat immature & he seems to think the measure of a decent relationship is how good looking a girl is.Sounds like his balls have dropped but the penny hasn't.
    This is further backed up by his hankering for a more "innocent" time when it was socially acceptable for a chap to make love to his wife, fu_ck his mistress, rape the maid & visit a brothel all in the one day.

    OP:Personally having thought about this, I Think you would be better off with the polish Girl by the sounds of it you might at least be more sexually compatible.
    The relationship with your so called girlfriend is going to go nowhere if you're willing to risk/lose it all for a quick shag.

    SO it's either not worth having at all or you need a serious re-think.
    I would say at some stage in their lives almost everybody has an opportunity/or half a chance to be unfaithful, but most of us who have far too much to lose wouldn't even think twice about seizing that opportunity.

    You really need to adjust your attitude if you really want to be in a long term adult relationship you also need to be able to talk to be honest to your partner about your sexual needs - if that's not for you fair enough - go piss in the gene pool but be resposible remember that thing between your legs can ruin lives as well as create life (& once you have a kid you can forget all your selfish bullsh*T )
    ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,314 ✭✭✭Talliesin


    Dustaz wrote:
    The OP is not asking for moral judgement. Hes asking for advice.
    If you believe the claims that after lying for so long he needs help coming up with one last lie.

    The OP is acting for moral judgement in the hope that having softened the blow already when saying that they are a scumbag before anyone else does and the comedy potential of his "suggestions?" about what lie to use (blah blah, tell her you're gay, blah blah, tell her you're taking holy orders, blah blah with hilarious results) the result could then be that some of the posters defend his actions and so amongst the inevitable general disagreement he'll be able to pick out one or two posts for use for validation.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,046 ✭✭✭Dustaz


    Talliesin wrote:
    If you believe the claims that after lying for so long he needs help coming up with one last lie.
    No, i think hes trolling and doing a pretty good job of it. If he isnt, then its as probable that hes actually looking for another lie here as looking for 'validation'.

    The OP is acting for moral judgement in the hope that having softened the blow already when saying that they are a scumbag before anyone else does and the comedy potential of his "suggestions?" about what lie to use (blah blah, tell her you're gay, blah blah, tell her you're taking holy orders, blah blah with hilarious results) the result could then be that some of the posters defend his actions and so amongst the inevitable general disagreement he'll be able to pick out one or two posts for use for validation.
    Do you really think hes posting anonymously on PI amongst the "How do i tell a girl i really like her" for validation?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 38 hmmmm


    Dustaz wrote:
    Im truly astonished that educated people can manage to type this sort of thing and not sit back and re-read it thinking "What the hell, I appear to be an alien from another planet".

    Cheating on people is indeed human nature. For proof, just look around you. Read the papers. Study history. Watch TV (Factual and Fiction). Read some books. Open your eyes and use that brain that is seemingly wasted on you and some of the others in this thread.

    People have been cheating on each other since the beginning of time. Just as they have been killing and robbing each other, trying to persuade each other that their idea of religion is the bestest and trying to pay others to have sex with them.

    Just because something is unsavory does not mean its not human nature.
    I don't believe there is a definitive answer as to what is human nature. I don't think it is fair to assume that infidelity is human nature just because you or the OP thinks so or because of the actions of SOME people in the past.

    BTW I am astonished that educated people can sit there and type that infidelity is human nature when clearly some people do not seem to possess that "trait" which in itself by every definition of human nature that I have ever read makes infidelity not human nature.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 126 ✭✭haunted-room


    Dustaz wrote:
    Im truly astonished that educated people can manage to type this sort of thing and not sit back and re-read it thinking "What the hell, I appear to be an alien from another planet".

    Cheating on people is indeed human nature. For proof, just look around you. Read the papers. Study history. Watch TV (Factual and Fiction). Read some books. Open your eyes and use that brain that is seemingly wasted on you and some of the others in this thread.

    People have been cheating on each other since the beginning of time. Just as they have been killing and robbing each other, trying to persuade each other that their idea of religion is the bestest and trying to pay others to have sex with them.

    Just because something is unsavory does not mean its not human nature.

    This entire post is completely off topic but so are 90% of the replies to this post. The OP is not asking for moral judgement. Hes asking for advice. If you dont agree with his actions, feel free to not burden him with your advice. If he comes back in 3 weeks with "my gf dumped me because i cheated on her with a polish bird who went postal and attacked me as i slept" then its open season but until then treat this post as you might treat a womans cheating confession on these boards and deal with the matter at hand.

    The personal insult isnt called for. If you cant have a mature converstation without resorting to insulting me then your opinion is worth nothing

    Also, by your logic, that means Rape, murder, child abuse etc is all human nature.
    The topic was him cheating, my post was a direct reply to a post that mentioned cheating is human nature. Thats on topic!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 370 ✭✭CherieAmour


    '

    Honestly ? You see a bit of physical twister as the same thing as having feelings for someone ? They hurt equally ? Thats daft.'

    Yes I do and I can also think of other attitudes which could be described as 'daft'......


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,623 ✭✭✭dame


    daithimac wrote:
    First thing to do is get your ethics sorted out if you realy think that most relationships involve cheating you have a pretty odd view of the world that may need correction.
    as for something to say to let her down easy, try "my old girlfriend from school/college who you were madly in love with and never got over, has just got back into town and were going to try to work things out and resume our relationship"
    It makes here feel that getting dumped is because of some flaw she has and it may save your ass if you meet her out with your girlfriend

    That's horrible. You are actually encouraging him to cause this poor girl to carry baggage and be left thinking she's flawed and did something wrong??? :eek: I definitely don't agree with cheating but the OP was actually asking for advice on how to finish with her without causing her pain!

    OP, just tell her the truth. That she's a very attractive girl, you are a weak man and you couldn't help yourself, but that you're trying to put things right now. Other posters have said she may tell your girlfriend but I'd say she probably won't. And anyway, even if she did, you'd know you deserve it and to be honest, your girlfriend deserves to know too, but you're not going to tell her. It's not in your nature. At least do right by one of them and pay her the respect of telling her the truth at the end.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,046 ✭✭✭Dustaz


    hmmmm wrote:
    BTW I am astonished that educated people can sit there and type that infidelity is human nature when clearly some people do not seem to possess that "trait" which in itself by every definition of human nature that I have ever read makes infidelity not human nature.
    human nature
    –noun
    1. the psychological and social qualities that characterize humankind, esp. in contrast with other living things.

    I could hold that up and continue to argue that humanity as a whole definetly cheats and murders and gives to charity but:
    human nature
    n. The sum of qualities and traits shared by all humans.

    That definition proves me wrong and I shall apologise.

    However, seeing as temptation is most definitely in human nature (we can surely agree on that) saying that "some" people cheat is like saying that "some" people do things that are bad for them. A huge amount of cheating goes on in the world and while the figure can never be quantified accurately (At this point i probably should google a few studies, but i really cba :) ), from experience id guess that its a far higher percentage of people than reading this thread would suggest.


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