I ruined Christmas.

josephine20 · 25-12-2006 06:51PM

Yeah the brat deserved it and you didn't ruin Christmas. Maybe if the parents controlled their children properly and brought them up to be respectful, they wouldn't have had the problem. When you think about it, had we said that when we were younger you would have been given out to and sent to your room if you acted like that. Children these days are just brats and you're expected to put up with it and think it's cute.

Miss Fluff · 25-12-2006 06:55PM

Scrooge. wrote:

I caught him by the collar of his pjs and shoved him into the wall..

`
The kids will get over the Santy thing ok, as someone said, tots will believe in what they choose to so I wouldn't worry about that.

As for ruining your brother's Christmas and his family's Christmas and acting like a complete twat (with NO self-control btw) I'm not sure what advice you are looking for tbh. Not sure if shoving a child into a wall is my idea of festive goodwill love.

Playboy · 25-12-2006 07:15PM

Fanny Cradock wrote:

Please, belief in Santa isn't a prerequisite for a healthy and happy childhood. My cousins were told that there was no Santa from the age their parents felt they could keep their word and not tell others about it. They kept the secret to themselves and all grew up well adjusted individuals.

I'd say the kid's horrible attitude (obviously enforced by the parents) is the source of any unhappiness, not the sudden realisation that there is no Santa. There is no shame in it, but it does sound like your brother and sis in law need some sort of parenting course.

It might not be a prerequisite but 9 out of 10 people will tell you that some of their fondest memories of childhood are of christmas and santa claus. It was not this persons place to take that magic away from 2 kids so young. If I was the parent I would be more than pissed off just over that part of the incident. And come on .. kids of 5 and 7 arent too good at keeping secrets especially when it comes to something like Santa Claus.

mr_angry · 25-12-2006 07:36PM

Miss Fluff wrote:

`
The kids will get over the Santy thing ok, as someone said, tots will believe in what they choose to so I wouldn't worry about that.

As for ruining your brother's Christmas and his family's Christmas and acting like a complete twat (with NO self-control btw) I'm not sure what advice you are looking for tbh. Not sure if shoving a child into a wall is my idea of festive goodwill love.

Sounds like Christmas was going pretty badly before the OP lost it. Therefore, I wouldn't say he 'ruined' it. In some ways, he probably said what needed to be said. As for the "assault" (as some people are calling it)... sounds to me like a bit of trauma would do that child a lot of good.

nobodythere · 25-12-2006 07:43PM

It'll pass, it's only such a massive deal now, I suggest you apologise when you calm down.

JC 2K3 · 25-12-2006 09:25PM

Playboy wrote:

It might not be a prerequisite but 9 out of 10 people will tell you that some of their fondest memories of childhood are of christmas and santa claus. It was not this persons place to take that magic away from 2 kids so young. If I was the parent I would be more than pissed off just over that part of the incident. And come on .. kids of 5 and 7 arent too good at keeping secrets especially when it comes to something like Santa Claus.

Kids know Santa isn't real years before they accept it/act like they don't believe in him.

I dunno about generations before me, but I'm 17 and the excitement in my childhood was generated purely based on anticipation for the presents Santa was bringing rather than the fact it was a magical guy called Santa was coming.

ninebeanrows · 25-12-2006 09:28PM

The 5 year old surely can be made believe santa is real anyway...

So i wouldnt worry..

As for the little brat, i think it was out of line what you did. The kid is 7 for god sake he was just acting like a maggot u shudda punished him in some other way...

Botswana · 25-12-2006 09:31PM

OMG, OP you are totally in the wrong here.

If I saw you doing that to my kids, I would kill you. You'd be banned from my house.

Mind your own ****ing business and learn to control your emotions.

ferdi · 25-12-2006 09:36PM

Botswana wrote:

OMG, OP you are totally in the wrong here.

If I saw you doing that to my kids, I would kill you. You'd be banned from my house.

Mind your own ****ing business and learn to control your emotions.

LOL, i guess your one of these parents who let their kids run riot and attack anyone who trys to control them due to your inability to parent.

if my kid was acting like that, i would have done what the OP did myself.

Cmar-Ireland · 25-12-2006 09:50PM

Well done OP. Bravo! There are far to many little c**ts running around thinking they can get away with anything. The kid deserved what he got, and don't you dare apologise to him. That would only make him think he was right. A bit more strong behaviour might make the kid cop the f*** on!!!
Apologise to the bro and g/f by all means, but tell them you'd do the same again.

Botswana · 25-12-2006 09:59PM

ferdi wrote:

LOL, i guess your one of these parents who let their kids run riot and attack anyone who trys to control them due to your inability to parent.

How did you come to that conclusion from my post?

1. A family member tells my 7 year old there is no such thing as Santa.
2. Calls my 7 year old a ****er.
3. Aggressively shoves my 7 year old into the wall.
4. Can't mind her own ****ing business.

Of course the kid was being a little ****, but that's an entirely seperate issue. No one is allowed attack my kids, verbally or physically.

I hate when people butt into other peoples business.

The OP needs to -

1. Learn how to mind her own business.
2. Learn how to control her emotions.

InFront · 25-12-2006 10:00PM

Well done OP. Bravo! There are far to many little c**ts running around thinking they can get away with anything. The kid deserved what he got, and don't you dare apologise to him. That would only make him think he was right. A bit more strong behaviour might make the kid cop the f*** on!!!
Apologise to the bro and g/f by all means, but tell them you'd do the same again.

Then what would be the point of apologizing?

I think the op was wrong, the child is seven (most of us were brats at that age) and it isn't an uncle's place to do that to a child. If the parents cant discipline him, tough, you can't just take it upon yourself. It is Christmas, and you acted quite childish by telling the kids there's no Santa Claus if thats what the parents want them to belive. They are the child's (that's what he is, a child) parents, it's their job, their home and their kids.

Nevyn · 25-12-2006 10:08PM

Children do NOT dervse to be abused esp in thier own home by family memebers.
Children have to be taught what is and is not acceptible behaviour and you
do not do that by showing them more unacceptible behaviour.

Heinrich · 25-12-2006 10:10PM

The proper course for the OP to have taken was to get his ass out of the bedlam household. In that way he would not have to justify his questionable action. Questionable because the brat was out of order and the parents were too lax in their attitude and he took the matter in hand.

In a way that is probably the only discipline the brats would encounter and the PC brigade will not agree with his actions.

I don't think the brat was in any way traumatised, indeed he seems to have full encouragement from parents who fail in their obligations. Get the hell away from that sad household, it's not worth the effort...

philologos · 25-12-2006 10:12PM

in regard to the presents, and the sulking etc... I think a lot of it is down to the child in particular being spoiled, and secondly outside influences, such as commercialism and the secularisation of Christmas itself. I don't know what the solution for what this would be as FuzzyLogic said its hardly clear cut and well defined what to do. I'm still a teenager and as such I haven't parented at all, but I think parents should remind their children of the importance of Christmas as a holiday and the story behind it maybe... On the behaviour front, I'd say that there should be clearcut rules in the household, they are obviously behaving like that for a reason.. As I've said though I don't really know, just an opinion really.

Nevyn · 25-12-2006 10:14PM

Children are not prefect they have to be taught to walk and talk and how to behave and it can be trying but you don't throw wobbilies at them and slam them into walls, esp when they are not your children there are other ways.

Botswana · 25-12-2006 10:15PM

I'm totally with Thaedydal on this one.

I seriously hope the people who are high fiving the OP have no kids. If you seriously would be happy to have someone verbally and physically abuse your kids, you are a disgrace.

Kids should never be slammed into walls, and telling kids Santa doesn't exist is just sick.

Heinrich · 25-12-2006 10:16PM

Thaedydal wrote:

Children do NOT dervse to be abused esp in thier own home by family memebers.
Children have to be taught what is and is not acceptible behaviour and you
do not do that by showing them more unacceptible behaviour.

...and the parents seem to be failing badly by condoning the errant ways of their offspring. Someone will eventually put the brats right and hopefully it will not be some stranger who will do this by beating the crap out of them when they grow older and manifest their their foul attitude on non family persons! :mad:

philologos · 25-12-2006 10:21PM

Botswana wrote:

I'm totally with Thaedydal on this one.

I seriously hope the people who are high fiving the OP have no kids. If you seriously would be happy to have someone verbally and physically abuse your kids, you are a disgrace.

Kids should never be slammed into walls, and telling kids Santa doesn't exist is just sick.

I think the OP had the right principle in mind just went about it in the wrong way. If he had sat down and explained it differently and more calmly it would have gone better. Children tend to act like their elders, so throwing a wobbler will merely encourage them to do the same, whereas if you are calm it will encourage them to be calm also.

In relation to Santa, I fail to see how it is sick... It is merely tradition. I'd be of the mind that it would be better to teach children that it was an occasion where people share with eachother and come together as families and friends etc, rather than the whole Santa theory. But hey that's me.

kittenkiller · 25-12-2006 10:26PM

The "magic" of Christmas isn't just for kids, the whole atmosphere in a house changes when there's someone who believes in Santa living there.
If the kid is spoiled so be it, as another poster said, kids don't spoil themselves.
If you don't agree with someone's parenting technique you don't ram the child up against a wall and scream abuse at them!!

The OP could've just said that Santa was watching and mightn't be as generous next year or something.

I don't know how letting a kid see their parents stand aside while some other relative comes into their home and threatens them in such an agressive manner can teach the child how to behave!
I just don't see any logic in that.

The OP should stick to adult only celebrations from now until he can control himself fully!

There's no point in apologising to your brother, his girlfriend or their kids, you obviously wouldn't mean it and that'd just be hypocritical and might lead to them thinking you're a nicer and more responsible person than you are.

Owen · 25-12-2006 10:29PM

Jakkass wrote:

I think the OP had the right principle in mind just went about it in the wrong way. If he had sat down and explained it differently and more calmly it would have gone better.

And I think the OP may have been exaggerating when he said he "slammed" the kid into the wall. I still think though however, the root of this problem is right down to the Parents, I travel quite a lot with work, and I've never seen anything like Irish Parents for turning a blind eye to the crap their little darlings do.

vermont · 25-12-2006 10:29PM

Look OP it's totally understandable that you lost the rag with this little bollix, especially seeing as how you're probably close to your brother and that, but in this case, you lost the rag with the wrong person. It's defo down to the kids' parents, who have clearly no backbone and are allowing themselves to be run roughshod over by their kids... picture the scenario in ten years time and it ain't so pretty I can tell you.
Also, you say your brother will get on to you and tell you it's forgotten about etc, well that's another problem right there. YOU should be telling HIM that it's NOT forgotten about, that his no-backbone parenting is ****e, and that for 2007, one of his resolutions should be to be the boss of his own house, and not have his kids be the boss of him.

In future, you should take that type of approach, rather than dish it out directly to the kids. End of the day, it's down to the parents....

Nevyn · 25-12-2006 10:42PM

Look parents can read all the books and do everything right and kids will still on ocassion act out.

Most grown ups will have the wit to ignore ths child and let the parents deal with it and even if the parents don't they do not have the right to shout at and physically acost the child.

They can at a later time raise the issue with the parents but not there and then as it underminds them infront of the child.

It could be the parents were upset ans tunned and sad whn this happened or even not in the room when this happened and clearly they didn't get a chance to deal with the situation.

philologos · 25-12-2006 10:47PM

Thaedyhal wrote:

they do not have the right to shout at and physically acost the child.

This is a very touchy subject, and there are two sides to this. I happen to think that excessive force is wrong but force in itself isn't. Feel free to disagree and call me a monster for thinking so. But if using an adequate use of force is working as a beneficial tool to curb your childs behaviour then you should be entitled to use it, again within reason. This however should be only used if the child continues to disobey verbal commands, I don't think its right for one person to tell another how they should discipline their child unless their punishment is injuring them, or psychologically harming them. The reason for thinking so is that circumstances differ and children differ and some methods work better than others in some cases. And legally they are allowed to do this unless it is seriously infringing on the living conditions of the child.

Owen · 25-12-2006 10:51PM

Jakkass wrote:

This is a very touchy subject, and there are two sides to this. I happen to think that excessive force is wrong but force in itself isn't. Feel free to disagree and call me a monster for thinking so.

I agree with what you're saying Jakkass. Discipline, once done with good intentions, and with the child's best interests at heart, is welcome in all it's forms.

kittenkiller · 25-12-2006 10:51PM

Jakkass wrote:

This is a very touchy subject, and there are two sides to this. I happen to think that excessive force is wrong but force in itself isn't. Feel free to disagree and call me a monster for thinking so. But if using an adequate use of force is working as a beneficial tool to curb your childs behaviour then you should be entitled to use it, again within reason. This however should be only used if the child continues to disobey verbal commands, I don't think its right for one person to tell another how they should discipline their child unless their punishment is injuring them, or psychologically harming them. The reason for thinking so is that circumstances differ and children differ and some methods work better than others in some cases. And legally they are allowed to do this unless it is seriously infringing on the living conditions of the child.

Yes, but the uncle of the child doesn't have the right to touch the child no matter what the little brat is up to!
This isn't a debate on whether or not physical action should be taken by a parent to discipline their child.
If anyone other that my parents had taken it upon themselves to "discipline" me there'd be war! And rightly so!

Heinrich · 25-12-2006 10:52PM

Thaedydal wrote:

Most grown ups will have the wit to ignore ths child and let the parents deal with it and even if the parents don't they do not have the right to shout at and physically acost the child.

Many grown ups will be appalled with the sort of misbehaviour and might resist the temptation to do something to redress the situation.

Unfortunately the OP did not resist. The parents appear to be incompetent on the basis of what the OP reported. Happily I do not encounter this sort of child very often so temptation is not put in my way.

Nevyn · 25-12-2006 10:53PM

Jakkass wrote:

Feel free to disagree and call me a monster for thinking so. But if using an adequate use of force is working as a beneficial tool to curb your childs behaviour then you should be entitled to use it, again within reason.

Note the fact that even you stated that such punisments should be meeted out by the parents not anyone else.

Jakkass wrote:

I don't think its right for one person to tell another how they should discipline their child unless their punishment is injuring them, or psychologically harming them. The reason for thinking so is that circumstances differ and children differ and some methods work better than others in some cases. And legally they are allowed to do this unless it is seriously infringing on the living conditions of the child.

Again thier child, for parents to decide not someone visiting the house.

I do believe in limits and structure for children and them learning the consequences of thier action but it needs to be done in a certain manner and not by a visiting family member loosing the rag at a child.

The same way we teach children words to express how they are feeling we also have to use those words to express disproval rather then lashing out.

Botswana · 25-12-2006 10:54PM

Jakkass wrote:

And legally they are allowed to do this unless it is seriously infringing on the living conditions of the child.

Legally people are allowed slam other people's 7 year old kids against the wall?

Come on now...

philologos · 25-12-2006 10:55PM

Indeed I feel that the OP did lash out, however he does show remorse for doing so. The OP should have had a quiet and calm word with the boy. But hey we all make mistakes, and this was his. He had good intentions in mind. Of course I don't believe that the uncle should have responsibility in punishing the child, I was merely responding to what Thaedyhal was saying. Read the quote I used from Thaedyhal, I was regarding the parents not the uncle.

I ruined Christmas.

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