In school did you...

I always enjoyed putting someone off when they were reading out loud in the classroom. Especially in a really strict teachers classes. Then there were the usual science room antics. Throwing balls of paper at people, (rolled up tin foil was best though, it was usually kept for lunctime), water fights etc. We weren't allowed to do most of the experiments.

My favourite memory is of an English teacher we had for Leaving Cert who, being a little hard of hearing, used to get us to stand up when we were reading so she could hear us better.

This particular day she was talking through the details (meeting time, place, cost and so on) of a trip to a theater to see Hamlet performed. The lad sitting beside me who shall have to remain Kieran Fitzgerald was looking out the window - a million miles away - when I discretely nudged him with my elbow and whispered urgently "she's after asking you to read!".

The teacher used to get very annoyed if she knew people weren't concentrating so he was in a bit of a panic. He said "What! Where?". So naturally, being a good friend, I said "portrait of the artist, page 53, 2nd paragraph".

So Fitzer pushes his chair back (it scrapes loudly along the floor), stands up and begins to read for us in a nice clear loud voice (just as she liked) something about a moo cow from Joyce's novel that for the next year would drive me demented. The only thing was he cut her off mid sentence as she was talking about permission slips.

He was so eager to not be caught out in his day dreaming that he didn't notice the general surprise at his suden outburst. Neither did he notice that she wasn't stopping him every couple of lines to impart background to the content or telling us to make various notes in the margin.

I was laughing so hard i had to stuff the sleeve of my jumper in my mouth. Generally she would only let you read 2 pages before moving on to somebody else - she watched him and let him read about 12 pages. He got to the end of the chapter and looked up at her as if to say "that's all you're getting from me - you can ask somebody else now".

She stayed quiet for a couple of seconds and then applauded his effort sarcasticly saying "very nicely read Kieran, in future please wait until i ask you to read before gracing us with your reading skills - now get outside and I'll see you after class"

We used to heat the end of a steel ruler with a lighter and pass the hot end to someone, asking them to pass it on. The victims usually jumped right out of their desks when they took hold of it and the teachers always blamed them.

One of our teachers couldn't control the class, so we went to town on him. We used to throw things at him when he wrote on the board or shine laser pens into his eyes. One day we had a fire drill and he said "Please exit the class in an orderly fashion". We all jumped up and started screaming "We're all going to die!". We kicked over our desks, jumped out the windows and one guy even lit a real fire in the bin. The teacher ended up having to go back to part-time teaching cos we wrecked the poor man's head so much.

Ah, good times.
Primary School, we did the thumbtack thing and the whoopie cushion-on-teachers-chair thing. Once there was this nasty substitute (I think she was a nun) who was just brutally strict. I remember two people locked themselves into the store room to distract her while two others snuck into the classroom and put thumtacks on her chair, she noticed the thumbtacks though.

Secondary School we played the penis game, plastered the jacks with wet-tissue missiles, wrote silly nicknames for each other on tables and walls around the school the ususal stuff. We had this tiny T.G teacher who was probably just bearly 5ft, we wrote on the top of his blackboard "small paul cant reach this high" it was there for months he also used to leave his electricity and mobile phone bills lying around on his desk, in plain sight. There was the through the books/bag/pencil case outside the window thing and we used to throw take peoples shoes and throw them out of the 2nd floor rooms, especially on a wet day so they would have to go out in their socks to get them.

Good times

One person goes "Cuck" and another random person goes "oo", and say it really fast.

Didnt have to move your jaw so the the teacher could never catch us. The lad sitting right at the front would even do it the loudest and he couldn't pin it on him.


When the teacher turned his back, everyone starts, in a low tone "oooooOOOOO". Keep going until he turns around. STOP DEAD. he turns his back, start "ooooooOOOOO" louder and higher tone. Keep going until he turns around. STOP DEAD. Keep doing it in a louder and higher tone. Eventually he'd crack up and start screaming at us, we'd get a great kick out of it.

In one math class, whilst the teacher was writing some crap equation on the board, one lad would crawl across from one side of the class room into a free seat at the front and would then ask her a question on what she's writing. And then later on, sneak back to his old seat and ask another question


There is loads more but I cant think of them.

Definately the best one so far

stipey wrote:

My favourite memory is of an English teacher we had for Leaving Cert who, being a little hard of hearing, used to get us to stand up when we were reading so she could hear us better.

This particular day she was talking through the details (meeting time, place, cost and so on) of a trip to a theater to see Hamlet performed. The lad sitting beside me who shall have to remain Kieran Fitzgerald was looking out the window - a million miles away - when I discretely nudged him with my elbow and whispered urgently "she's after asking you to read!".

The teacher used to get very annoyed if she knew people weren't concentrating so he was in a bit of a panic. He said "What! Where?". So naturally, being a good friend, I said "portrait of the artist, page 53, 2nd paragraph".

So Fitzer pushes his chair back (it scrapes loudly along the floor), stands up and begins to read for us in a nice clear loud voice (just as she liked) something about a moo cow from Joyce's novel that for the next year would drive me demented. The only thing was he cut her off mid sentence as she was talking about permission slips.

He was so eager to not be caught out in his day dreaming that he didn't notice the general surprise at his suden outburst. Neither did he notice that she wasn't stopping him every couple of lines to impart background to the content or telling us to make various notes in the margin.

I was laughing so hard i had to stuff the sleeve of my jumper in my mouth. Generally she would only let you read 2 pages before moving on to somebody else - she watched him and let him read about 12 pages. He got to the end of the chapter and looked up at her as if to say "that's all you're getting from me - you can ask somebody else now".

She stayed quiet for a couple of seconds and then applauded his effort sarcasticly saying "very nicely read Kieran, in future please wait until i ask you to read before gracing us with your reading skills - now get outside and I'll see you after class"

Feral Mutant wrote:

In some rooms, the roof tiles could be pushed in and moved to the side so bags were constantly being taken and hidden up there.

We actually used to do that in work. Put someones phone on silent and then hide it up there. Best hiding place ever.*


*Until that was the first place someone looked when something went missing.

azezil wrote:

Our poor geography teacher used to be torchered,

I see that school taught you well. :rolleyes: