Platonic relationships

CathyMoran · 30-08-2006 06:49PM

My best friend is male - we met nearly 9 years ago in college. He was a few years younger than me so I did not even consider him as anything else at the time (though I will admit to having a brief crush on him a few years later). I do believe that platonic relationships are possible but they can have their moments, certainly if one of the pair are in a relationship it is easier. I have found that my best friends girlfriends get jelous of our friendship, they need to relax.

Miguel_Sanchez · 30-08-2006 07:01PM

Course they can. I have loads of female friends that I don't have romantic inclinations towards. I've been out hammered with them loads and nothing. Single or attached I haven't tried to hit on them.

I'm always suspicious of people who don't have a fair amount of friends of the opposite sex.

Stepherunie · 30-08-2006 07:05PM

Have to say my greatest friend is a guy I doubt anything would ever happen between us - he's like my older brother and i'm like his older sister (yes that makes no sense but that's how we are, i'm actually older). I can see how he's attractive and he has a great personality but to me he's the only guy whose seen me cry, and who stuck with me at my debs just to make sure I was ok. He's the guy who'll send me a text to cheer me up and rip the piss out of me at every available opportunity. I don't think I'd have it any other way.

In saying that I've had friendships that have turned into more - only one of them ever managed to revert back into a proper friendship - i lost a good friend over that type of messing.

el rabitos · 30-08-2006 07:06PM

of course its possible, but only when one of the people in the friendship is either fat and or ugly

Pigman II · 30-08-2006 07:57PM

Of course it's possible - as long as they share your interests and are ugly.

Tar.Aldarion · 30-08-2006 08:05PM

And even then, they have to lack humour and charm.... and possibly intelligence.

Jack B. Badd · 30-08-2006 08:25PM

A mate of mine reckons that none of her male friends have genitalia and apparently that helps...seems a bit odd to me, but who am I to say?

smallpaws · 30-08-2006 11:07PM

I have a platonic male friend I really like to go hang out with from time to time,go have a coffee, go take a walk, but I have less than zero attraction to him sexually. Nice guy, great person, but physically just single everything that I could find possibly unattractive (and some stuff I didn't even know I found unattractive) happened to coalesce in this guy's physical makeup. Of course, I would never allow for him to know that particular truth in a million years, no one needs to hear a thing like that. (And I'm sure there are plenty of guys who would say the same for me---it's just how attraction is: either it's there or it isn't. I pretty much know right off if I'm attracted to someone or not and 99% of the time, I'm not. But when I am...holy smoke, it's like a magnet being switched on.)

Sweet person, though, real fun to be around but and a wonderful heart, but you know, I'd go gay first and Jaysus H Chr*st I'm straight as a f'n pin.

So, yeah, I think it's possible to have platonic friendships.

Dave! · 31-08-2006 12:44AM

I think it's possible, as long as one of the people is ugly

j/k

Similar question (possibly the same only reworded!!!)... Assuming it's possible and you have a platonic friend of the opposite sex whom you think is very attractive -- if they offered you a shag, would you say no?

Because I would think that there's some sort of evolutionary reason for platonic friendships being impossible without sex coming into the equation at some stage...

Although now that I think of it, other animals have platonic friendships...

I'm no scientist, I'm just tryin to sound smart!

31-08-2006 02:31AM

I've been good friends with a girl for about 8 months now. She says she thinks I'm "cute" but nothing ever happened between us. I like it too, I don't believe we'd get on so well if the complications of a relationship were looming there.

440Hz · 31-08-2006 08:30AM

All but one of my best mates are guys (im a girl obviously). I think that one person is always going to see more/less than the other, whether you ever act on that are not. I have been with some of my best mates over the years, one-off kisses and all that. When you love someone as a friend sometimes you can see more than you thought when you first met them. I know two of my male friends are interested in more than friendship with me, but I am not, they know that and our friendship doesnt suffer, because we are mature enough to understand that this is ok.
On the other hand sometimes people just cant handle it. But I think that is down to lack of maturity. If someone thinks you feel something for them and they cant keep going as normal and just be friends then they are the person with the problem really. Years and years ago I was crazy about my best mate, he knew, we chatted about it, but we were still best mates, nothing was ever going to change that.
So what Im saying is that NO. I dont think, technically speaking that is, I dont think friendships are ever really plantonic. I think one person will always be more attracted or less attracted to the other person, it is just a matter of whether you do anything about it. Some do, some dont... and either way, if the friend is worth anything people usually work through all that.

Dragan · 31-08-2006 08:53AM

Faith wrote:

What do you think? Do you think that you've ever had a genuinely platonic friendship?

Yes. I have many, and have no problem keeping them that way tbh.

Dragan · 31-08-2006 08:56AM

Trinity1 wrote:

My only true male friend is gay.

Can i just ask then why you hang around with the others if they are not "true friends"?????

Trinity · 31-08-2006 10:56AM

Dragan wrote:

Can i just ask then why you hang around with the others if they are not "true friends"?????

Well its only as time progresses i realise what they really want but i give them the benefit of the doubt to begin with.

My definition of a friend is not someone who only texts you when they are drunk at all hours of the night wanting a cup of tea :rolleyes:

Its the ones who ask you how you are, and wants to spend time doing stuff with you like cinema or play pool, watch a dvd whatever.

It takes time before you realise the pattern and he can only be 'busy' for so long!

I try to see the best in people though and i never leave things on a nasty note.

John Mason · 31-08-2006 12:12PM

I have two brilliant male friends that i have never kissed or had sex with and to be honest the situation has never come up..............male friends are the best in the world 'cos they can introduce you to all their male single friends and you are never stuck going to a wedding (unless they get married -like mine :-()

but sometimes they are so complicated .......... i have a great friend when he is sober but with a bottle of whiskey inside him its a very different story

Degsy · 31-08-2006 12:41PM

irishbird wrote:

I have two brilliant male friends that i have never kissed or had sex with and to be honest the situation has never come up..............male friends are the best in the world 'cos they can introduce you to all their male single friends and you are never stuck going to a wedding (unless they get married -like mine :-()

but sometimes they are so complicated .......... i have a great friend when he is sober but with a bottle of whiskey inside him its a very different story

Thanks!:rolleyes:

Dragan · 31-08-2006 12:46PM

irishbird wrote:

but sometimes they are so complicated .......... i have a great friend when he is sober but with a bottle of whiskey inside him its a very different story

There should be no difference in the way someone treats you when they are drunk or when they are sober.

If you mate cannot handle his whiskey ( many people can take a few drinks, but whiskey seems to ruin them ) then he needs to ****ing man up and admit that he cannot drink it.

Maybe say it to him and see what he says? If he is truly a friend he won't mind you pointing this out to him. Otherwise he might need to figure this out the hard way?

John Mason · 31-08-2006 01:13PM

Degsy wrote:

Thanks!:rolleyes:

hey who said i was talking about you :rolleyes:

John Mason · 31-08-2006 01:17PM

Dragan wrote:

There should be no difference in the way someone treats you when they are drunk or when they are sober.

If you mate cannot handle his whiskey ( many people can take a few drinks, but whiskey seems to ruin them ) then he needs to ****ing man up and admit that he cannot drink it.

Maybe say it to him and see what he says? If he is truly a friend he won't mind you pointing this out to him. Otherwise he might need to figure this out the hard way?

no no no no - you are misunderstanding me - when he is sober we are just mates but when he drinks whiskey (and only whiskey) he turns all very sweet and lovely and says things he really shouldnt be saying to a friend!!

SteamTrean · 31-08-2006 01:21PM

FX Meister wrote:

I don't aggree. I have an ex girlfriend that I went out with for over two years. We still see each other and are good friends. Things just didn't work out between us and the split was extremely amicable. It's now purely platonic

Are you ope to Faith's suggestion that maybe its not platonic from her point of view. In general,How can anyone be certain that the other is not harbouring some feelings, in these relationships that you presume are platonic.

Degsy · 31-08-2006 01:26PM

irishbird wrote:

no no no no - you are misunderstanding me - when he is sober we are just mates but when he drinks whiskey (and only whiskey) he turns all very sweet and lovely and says things he really shouldnt be saying to a friend!!

Will you please be quiet?!!:o

John Mason · 31-08-2006 01:26PM

SteamTrean wrote:

Are you ope to Faith's suggestion that maybe its not platonic from her point of view. In general,How can anyone be certain that the other is not harbouring some feelings, in these relationships that you presume are platonic.

you can never be sure but you cant spend your whole trying to second guess that people are thinking, you have to take everything at face value. If it appears to you that its platonic that's all you can go on unless the other party actually says different or makes a move on you

John Mason · 31-08-2006 01:31PM

Degsy wrote:

Will you please be quiet?!!:o

listen you, what have i told you about telling me what to do i would suggest you be quiet or i might end up on a different site saying the exact same thing

SteamTrean · 31-08-2006 01:41PM

irishbird wrote:

no no no no - you are misunderstanding me - when he is sober we are just mates but when he drinks whiskey (and only whiskey) he turns all very sweet and lovely and says things he really shouldnt be saying to a friend!!

My opinion: Being a lad and having been single and in similar situations. When he's sober he's alert enough to think about the consequences of making a move on you. He might be fearful of rejection or he might just not want you to get really into him and expect it to happen all the time. When he gets drunk on whiskey, he gets horney, throws caution to the wind and thinks "I Fancy a shag with my buddy" Possible?

Degsy · 31-08-2006 01:49PM

irishbird wrote:

listen you, what have i told you about telling me what to do i would suggest you be quiet or i might end up on a different site saying the exact same thing

aint no f ucker on that other site gonna beleive you

John Mason · 31-08-2006 01:49PM

SteamTrean wrote:

My opinion: Being a lad and having been single and in similar situations. When he's sober he's alert enough to think about the consequences of making a move on you. He might be fearful of rejection or he might just not want you to get really into him and expect it to happen all the time. When he gets drunk on whiskey, he gets horney, throws caution to the wind and thinks "I Fancy a shag with my buddy" Possible?

my thoughts exactly.........mind you he probably isnt my friend after this

Degsy · 31-08-2006 01:59PM

irishbird wrote:

my thoughts exactly.........mind you he probably isnt my friend after this

Damn straight!;)

John Mason · 31-08-2006 02:03PM

Degsy wrote:

Damn straight!;)

ohhh no - what not even if i buy you a bottle of whiskey?:p

Degsy · 31-08-2006 02:29PM

irishbird wrote:

ohhh no - what not even if i buy you a bottle of whiskey?:p

yeah,just bring your housemate so to chaperone me hehehe

John Mason · 31-08-2006 02:56PM

Degsy wrote:

yeah,just bring your housemate so to chaperone me hehehe

it would be more fun if you brought your thursday night suck face girl:p

Platonic relationships

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