What was the most embarrising moment ever?

When my sister got married in Jersey, there was a proper 3 day drinking / eating fest, and I was 18 and could break drinking and eating records, (although at top fitness at the time). Well I went for it proper and had to come back on a rocky 13 hour ferry trip to Weymouth.

Half way on the boat trip back it all had to come out and I could not make it to the ships loo in time, and as I approached the doorway to the loo, an old (80 year old?) fella with a walking stick and hat was crossing past the loo door in front of me.

Well, out it came with a full force projectile style vomit and shot 3 or 4 yards across the corridor, hitting the aul' fella on the side of the face, neck, hat, shoulders and arm.

The poor ole man was nearly drenched in sick head to toe by the end of it.

He could hardly see through his glasses, with carrots and spew everywhere round his face, it was on his hat also which nearly got knocked off by the force of it.

Emotions of ultra sorriness and ultra embarrassment and ultra panic along with feeling alot more coming up.

So I immediately scuttled off into the bogs where I was locked in the cubicle for some hours after, until the coast was clear.

It seemed to happen in an instant, but I was worried about hours of recriminations after, stuck on the boat with poss. the rest of his family if they tracked me down, but luckily I never heard any further of it.

My brother is worse on multiple occasions.

He had a knack for getting comatose on ale, when he was in his twenties and pissed up sleep walking to the loo in the middle of the night, and on one occasion at his mate's flat he got up and stood over the side of the bed of his mates girlfriend who was a primary school teacher and pissed in her mouth.

Suffice to say she was not impressed the next morning.

He had previously pissed over three of his mates, same circumstances, camping up in the lake district in England, so he had a reputation for it.

I woke up in horror one night after he had came back from the pub after a heavy night, and he was pissing on my feet.

Just another one, about a mate of me bro's, who was on me bro's stag do in Dublin and was trying to let out a few farts whilst playing poker in one of the pubs/hotel bars.

He was up on one cheek trying to let out a ripper and he followed through. He wasn't the sort to get embarrased though and just said calmly he had followed through and **** his pants, and started walking off to the bogs like john wayne with a limp.

And finally, I was working down the south of england and in the pub on a friday lunchtime and was asked if I had shagged some huge fat lass up in Newcastle the weekend before.

There was about 8 people sat around the table in the pub all waiting silently and intently for an answer.

I said "well, she didn't sweat much for a fat lass" and the table and it seemed half the rest of the pub erupted in laughter and one lad fell off his stool. They were all laughing for 5 minutes after, rolling around.

I got weeks of grief for that after at work.