What was the most embarrising moment ever?

Plug

As the topic says:

1)The time I was in a packed chippers and asked for a battered chip and a curry sasauge:o

2) When I fell off my bike downtown doing 20+mph and half the people ran to my aid.

Whats yours?

cance

Plug wrote:

1)The time I was in a packed chippers and asked for a battered chip and a curry sasauge

or how about the time you showed everyone on boards your sausage is wonky?

Dreamer 7

My first day in a new job i was sent to get some copies done. My lovely new stilettos get stuck in a manhole halfway accross fitzwilliam square with a taxi hurtling towards me. I nearly break my ankle dash to the path and see my shoe get mashed by the taxi. i hobbled back to the office with the mangled shoe in my hand and covered in black stuff from the manhole
I wanted to die!

stovelid

Too many to mention but most recent one was running toward a taxi, looking back and calling to my wife and running straight into a sign post. Of course, the street around was full of drunken crowds too.

connundrum

cance wrote:

or how about the time you showed everyone on boards your sausage is wonky?

Thats pretty much the worst burn ever.. I'd be pretty embarrased bout that

Strokesfan

Was working at this really busy high street retail store and tripped "up the stairs" with a loud thud! Everybody heard or saw.... I'm scarlet thinking about it.
Or one day when we were all sitting around at college and my boyfriend called me a "bi*ch" etc in front of everyone, nobody knew where to look

Spastafarian

It'd have to be the time I woke up next to a girl i liked only to realise I'd shat myself.

That really changed my opinion of red wine..

stovelid

Man, you should have smeared it on her, pushed it over to her side and stormed out of the room shouting "Im gonna pretend I didnt see that. See you later!"

Spastafarian wrote:

It'd have to be the time I woke up next to a girl i liked only to realise I'd shat myself.

That really changed my opinion of red wine..

Siogfinsceal

rang 4 star pizza few yrs ago and wanted to order the smallest pizza but couldnt remember what size that was so I asked 'which is the smallest pizza the 9" or the 12"' ...there was stunned silence at the end of the phone I had to hang up - the people in the room with me still bring it up

Spastafarian

Spastafarian wrote:

It'd have to be the time I woke up next to a girl i liked only to realise I'd shat myself.

That really changed my opinion of red wine..

All ye surfers are mad.Are you sure that she did not not stick beads up your bum?

joejoem

Spastafarian wrote:

It'd have to be the time I woke up next to a girl i liked only to realise I'd shat myself.

That really changed my opinion of red wine..

roffle & Yuk

Dreamer 7

Spastafarian wrote:

It'd have to be the time I woke up next to a girl i liked only to realise I'd shat myself.

That really changed my opinion of red wine..

Sweet lamb of jaysus im glad i wasnt that poor girl............... made me laugh tho!

cornbb

Spastafarian wrote:

It'd have to be the time I woke up next to a girl i liked only to realise I'd shat myself.

That really changed my opinion of red wine..

Haha... I'd forgotten about that

Spastafarian

Sweet lamb of jaysus im glad i wasnt that poor girl............... made me laugh tho!

Fortunately I was wearing pyjama bottoms at the time (which I like to do as the hairs on my legs tend to chaff), so I quietly waddled out of the room, threw my pyjama bottoms into the wheelie bin in the back garden and showered my arse thoroughly.

She was none the wiser.

That initial moment of gut-wrenching shock was pretty bad though.

Spastafarian

cornbb wrote:

Haha... I'd forgotten about that

Quiet you...

Max_Damage

A few years ago when I was cycling to school on a icy winters morning. If anyone knows the T-junction where the road going to the Spawell roundabout meets with the Firhouse Road, I was cycling across the road, and as I was going back onto the bicycle track, I skidded on the ice & couldn't make the sharp right turn onto the cycle track, and went straight into a fence, and fell off. Needless to say there was at least 20 years at the lights to see my misfortune.

cornbb

Spastafarian wrote:

Quiet you...

My arse cheeks are sealed

Spastafarian's story will kick all of ye're stories arses, someone might as well lock the thread

scojones

I was in a Chinese with a load of top guys working for Intel and I asked for a vegetarian chicken curry.

RE*AC*TOR

Plug wrote:

2) When I fell off my bike downtown doing 20+mph and half the people ran to my aid.

One of the surest ways of making a man angry is to rush over to him when has has just fallen off a bicycle and say "Are you hurt?"

Doctor Fell

Have to say a lot of those stories I wouldn't be the slightest bit embarrassed about!
Spastafarian's one is quite embarrassing though!:D

I've woken up stark naked, lying on the stairs in my parents house - and at 2p.m on a saturday afternoon after being out on Fri nite. Also with no memory whatsoever. Why was I naked? Don't know. Why did no-one cover me up? Why did no-one wake me? Don't know...

Also got so drunk once I shat myself whilst walking home. That was fairly gross too.

Woke up one morning to discover I had vomited all over my bed and floor - don't know how I didn't choke!! But nobody witnessed that one I think.

Various embarassing sexual episodes, that I'm too embarrassed to talk about.:o

ams

a tie between the time my hair caught fire at mass and when I came out of the toilet at cineworld, went up to what i thought was my bf ogling some girls boobs in a poster, smacked him on the arse as hard as i could only to realise it was a complete stranger!:o

cance

farted so bad in a chinese take away they asked me to leave

Samhildanach

God there are a few but the ones that stick out are the time I went to Skerries with my sister and her kids. We went to the playground at Red Island and I was having a go on the swing (seeing who could go highest hahaha) anyway I jumped off the swing before it slowed fully and the momentum impelled me across the ground to smack into the end of the slide, I did a full 180 degrees over the slide and grabbed the bar to stop myself only to have it wrenched backwards and landed on my ass in a pool of water on the other side. I bashed my knee and sprained the muscles in my shoulder. I was so embarrassed as all the kids (and their parents) came running over and were laughing their heads off at me ... I was laughing at the stupidity of it all and moaning at the same time with the pain.

Another time I had just got a promotion so was so chuffed with myself that I was doing this little dance in the elevator - only to have the door open and 3 people stand looking at me.

Slaanesh

Dreamer 7 wrote:

... and covered in black stuff from the manhole ...

Nobody else have as twisted a mind as mine?

Jumanji

When I was about 7, I had a stomach bug & was doing the usual puking, skittering in the jax, etc...

Anyhow, that night I sleep-walked (what's the past tense for that word? ) (the only time to my knowledge that I ever have)

Woke up the next morning, took off my knickers to discover they were brown, thought must've just had a bad fart during the night.

Roll on 5pm when my eldest brother came home from school raging!!!!!
He got to school, opened his schoolbag (5th year may I ad) & all his books & bag were covered in diarrhea!!!! :eek:

Needless to say he 'forgot his books' for every class that day!!!!

My poor mother had to wash the books the best she could & cut the corners off all of them to get rid of as many sh!t stains as she could, the books which he had to use for the rest of the year!!!

At least I found out why my knickers were brown that morning!! I must have walked in my sleep needing to go to the loo, took a wrong turn & mistook my brothers school bag for the toilet.

I've tears in my eyes still typing this. Not a word of a lie!!!:o

cance

honest to god, you are one sick bitch!

Ph3n0m

classy!

Running up to a girl I knew and liked - vaulted over a wall to get to her, except I forgot to lift my trailing leg and proceeded to skid chin first along the ground

Walked into various poles, etc

Coming home from a night out, completely rat arsed, along a dark road in Clondalkin and fell into a trench and cracked my arse bone off a pipe - I have never sobered up so quickly before. Walked home the rest of the way with broken arse syndrome

Fell off various walls whilst talking to people

Having a bird **** on my shoulder and my daughter laughing so hard I thought she was going to piss herself

Jumanji

cance wrote:

honest to god, you are one sick bitch!

I'd be the winner then so, would I????????

It was an accident, honest!!;)

Scraggs

I walked into a plane in a museum in Germany once. Gave myself a concussion. Still haven't lived it down.

stovelid

How did that happen?!:)

ams wrote:

the time my hair caught fire at mass

cance

god smite'd him for masterbating in church.

Jumanji

Must've been Easter, or whenever that candle thingy happens, (or is that Christmas eve)

God, I really should go to mass more often!!

Dreamer 7

Slaanesh wrote:

Nobody else have as twisted a mind as mine?

Please elaborate ...:D

cance

Slaanesh wrote:

Nobody else have as twisted a mind as mine?

yup i saw it, i chose not to comment

PhilipFromBosco

This was in the early 80s, I had my snobby aunt and posh grandmother in the car. I was showing them where I worked in Donnybrook and left off a nasty silent killer fart, luckily we were near the meat factory, so I blamed it on that. However my aunt commented that the factory had closed last year. So I tried to open the windows but the electic windows were stuck closed. I was so red faced as it was one of those farts you get after eating minced meat and cabbage the night before. Now my aunt calls me "smelly boy" and she can't keep her trap shut when talking to my relatives. Poor Grandma almost suffocated.

cornbb

Dreamer 7 wrote:

Please elaborate ...:D

Your innocence indicates that you clearly do not have as sick a mind as him. Your soul is saved

groundedplane

Walked into Burger King one day on O'Connell steet and asked for a Big Mac Meal. The worste thing was it took me a few minutes of the cashier looking right at me pointing at the sign to let me know of my whereabouts.

Also got my coat caught on fire one Christmas as at mass years ago, I did not realise until I seen the smoke over my head. People thought they seen the devil himself.

I was high from smoking the wacky tabacie at the time.... Funny.

Miss Fluff

Well, one of the most butt-clenchingly embarrassing moments happened about a year ago whilst in a pub in Blackrock. Was having some supper with a friend of mine when a gay guy, lets call him Paul, who we had met recently at a party, walks into the pub with a friend of his. "Paul" I called over to him, but at this stage he was walking to the other end of the pub and sat with his back to us. I asked my friend, isn't that that jolly nice chap Paul we met recently (he had thrown a party and fed us yummy cocktails all night) and she confirmed that it indeed was. I beckoned to the girl behind the bar and requested that two slippery nipple cocktails be dispatched post haste to Paul in thanks for the wonderful hospitality he had shown us recently. I asked that the bar girl specifically say "Here are two slippery nipples from the very foxy chicks in the corner thanking you for the other night". We watched as she presented said drinks to Paul and his friend with our message........except it wasn't Paul at all, it was an EXTREMELY excited randomer. :eek:

Miss Fluff

cance wrote:

farted so bad in a chinese take away they asked me to leave

ROFL

tbh

cance wrote:

god smite'd him for masterbating in church.

yeah, apparently it was the friction that did it. God does love His ironic punishments!

ams

Jumanji wrote:

Must've been Easter, or whenever that candle thingy happens, (or is that Christmas eve)

God, I really should go to mass more often!!

it was St. Patricks day when i was in 6th class and I had to do one of those bloody Irish readings for mass. Anyway woke up that morning puking my ring up but knew Id get in major **** if I didnt go in to do the reading cos nobody else had practiced it or whatever.

Of course I had to get sick during mass and had no option but to run round the back of the church and puke into some bushes. There was nowhere to get a drink of water or anything and I was mortified bout the smell of puke off my breath but again had to go back into the church cos I had to lead everyone up to communion. Anyway I was trying to stay away from ppl as i obviously smelt of puke so I stood a bit too near the candles when I went up for communion.

at this stage I had hair down to my ass. Didnt even know what was happening - just heard this roaring sound in my ears and ppl cursing behind me.

The priest had to put it out with his hand! the stink of the church afterwards was chronic:(

zuutroy

sjones wrote:

I was in a Chinese with a load of top guys working for Intel and I asked for a vegetarian chicken curry.

Thats the embarrassing part!! Zuutroy: former Intel employee as of today

Reganio 2

My most embarrasing was when I got got a new bike for christmas and was racing my mate on christmas day. Anyway going as fast as i can to beat him a car came down the road towards me. I had to swerve and crashed into a parked car and lost 3 of my teeth:o . It was my fault and a few of my mates were laughing their heads off:o . Quite funny when I think back.:D

Smurfpiss

Went out with a mate one night on the piss. had a few beers, nothing too mad. Decided to get chinese and wolfed down a king prawn with rice. went back to our haunt and had a couple of shots (the fatal mistake)

Anyway was crashing in her place. I woke up in the middle of the night standing beside the sofa covered in puke. I then looked at the windowsill which had a partially digested chinese take away sprayed onto it. Looks like i was trying to aim out the window but it didnt quite open...

Sobered up pretty quickly as i tried to clean it off....fecked some of it out the window (a la podge & rodge) while i threw the rest in the bin. left an unholy stench but i cleaned it up well enough....

Ruu_Old

When I was in primary school a fair amount of my days were spent in a puddle or ending up in a pool of muck, very clumsy child I was. *trips over computer*

Pocari Sweat

When my sister got married in Jersey, there was a proper 3 day drinking / eating fest, and I was 18 and could break drinking and eating records, (although at top fitness at the time). Well I went for it proper and had to come back on a rocky 13 hour ferry trip to Weymouth.

Half way on the boat trip back it all had to come out and I could not make it to the ships loo in time, and as I approached the doorway to the loo, an old (80 year old?) fella with a walking stick and hat was crossing past the loo door in front of me.

Well, out it came with a full force projectile style vomit and shot 3 or 4 yards across the corridor, hitting the aul' fella on the side of the face, neck, hat, shoulders and arm.

The poor ole man was nearly drenched in sick head to toe by the end of it.

He could hardly see through his glasses, with carrots and spew everywhere round his face, it was on his hat also which nearly got knocked off by the force of it.

Emotions of ultra sorriness and ultra embarrassment and ultra panic along with feeling alot more coming up.

So I immediately scuttled off into the bogs where I was locked in the cubicle for some hours after, until the coast was clear.

It seemed to happen in an instant, but I was worried about hours of recriminations after, stuck on the boat with poss. the rest of his family if they tracked me down, but luckily I never heard any further of it.

Terry

zuutroy wrote:

Thats the embarrassing part!! Zuutroy: former Intel employee as of today

congratulations. it's been 13 years since i worked ofr them.

anyway, was about 8 or 9 and in school doing Irish.
the teacher asked me what i want ot be when i grow up and i proudly answered "ban garda". in my childhood innocence (and with very poor Irish) i thought ban garda meant detective. the rest of the class laughed for what seemed like an eternity.
oh yeah, a few years back when i was drinking heavily, i fell over a blind man in my local.

Pocari Sweat

My brother is worse on multiple occasions.

He had a knack for getting comatose on ale, when he was in his twenties and pissed up sleep walking to the loo in the middle of the night, and on one occasion at his mate's flat he got up and stood over the side of the bed of his mates girlfriend who was a primary school teacher and pissed in her mouth.

Suffice to say she was not impressed the next morning.

He had previously pissed over three of his mates, same circumstances, camping up in the lake district in England, so he had a reputation for it.

I woke up in horror one night after he had came back from the pub after a heavy night, and he was pissing on my feet.

dr.bollocko

Spastafarian wrote:

Quiet you...

Ahahahahhahahaha
Bwahahahahaha
I remember that too.

Im just saying.

Ahahahahaha
Jesus.
My sides hurt now.

Seriously.
Sick bastard!

Pocari Sweat

Just another one, about a mate of me bro's, who was on me bro's stag do in Dublin and was trying to let out a few farts whilst playing poker in one of the pubs/hotel bars.

He was up on one cheek trying to let out a ripper and he followed through. He wasn't the sort to get embarrased though and just said calmly he had followed through and **** his pants, and started walking off to the bogs like john wayne with a limp.

Stepherunie

Was once babysitting two lads aged six and eight. The parents had let the lads rent a movie - what did they choose - South Park the Movie. Ok they're a bit young but I could cope with it - personally I'd never seen the movie before.

All was going rather ok until towards the end where there's a scene about a clitoris, cue the six year old asking me repeatedly 'What's a clitoris?'. Thankfully managed to stave him off with the good old 'ask your parents' speel. Which was fine.

After about two minutes of apparently deep thinking and still transfixed by the screen and clitoris which is showed said six year old came out with this gem 'it looks like ice cream, I want to lick it'.

Cue me trying very hard to keep a straight face and not roll over on the floor laughing at how very right he was. That boy will be a genius someday.