Weddings Abroad

Danes · 20-07-2006 12:47PM #1

Im wondering who pays for what with a wedding abroad? Do the guests pay for their own travel and accomodation or is this down to the couple? Does anyone have experience of getting married abroad that they could share with me?

SingingCherry · 20-07-2006 02:08PM

I got married in Ireland and I'm from abroad originally.

It is not required of you to pay for their flights or accommodation, but it's not pushy if you 'd like to (who'd turn down a free holiday???). You have to be prepared for people not to come though. There were many friends and family I would have loved to be at my wedding, but they just couldn't afford it and I couldn't pay their bill. No hard feelings, but they were missed on the day.

I would suggest, however, that you have some sort of dinner for everyone hosted by you and your fiancé or some kind of "welcome pack" with things from your destination in them, like maps, a list of places to eat and drink and some treats for them to bring home (I included one of those IRL tri-color stickers and a pack of shamrocks in ours). They did make an effort to come to your wedding, so it's nice to honor them in one way or another.

Also, before you send your invites out check airlines and hotels at your destination if they will give your guests a discounted rate if you book out some rooms/seats. Then when you send out your invitations, you can include this information, making it a little more likely that they'll be able to come.

Good luck!

Danes · 20-07-2006 02:40PM

Thanks for that. We're hoping to just have immediate family and one or two close friends so we wont be a large group. I like your idea of a welcome pack and will take up your suggestion looking into group bookings etc. This is my second marriage and because I've already done the big white Irish wedding, I'm trying to get as far away from that as I can.

theTinker · 24-07-2006 08:21PM

My sister is getting married in about 2 weeks in the USA, florida.
She is from ireland all her life till about 3 years ago. Everyone going is paying for thier own flights and there was not a single word of "thats odd" or "is she helping", so i assumed that that was normal. its a real close family thing only so there is only about 15 people going, but it ran at nearly 9k+ of plane tickets, which would be highly indecent to expect the new bride and groom to pay.

they did however rent out 2 large apartments, fit about 8 people in each(sum kids so its roughing it), they figured anyone coming can stay there or decide they want to pay for thier own place. it was helpful as most are staying there and any that want more can burden themselves with it! it seemed fair to me.

Edit: is it me or do peple seem to forget that the new bride and groom are trying to start a life and should be conserving thier money? i knew a family who actually fell out with thier son(groom) because he didnt want to fork out more moeny so he dissallowed certain people that he hadnt seen in years and who he didnt even know(friends of friends etc)

Ruu_Old · 25-07-2006 01:41AM

I got married in the US, I helped pay (they wouldn't accept it but I did anyway) for my Mam, Dad and brother to come over but the rest (my uncle, aunt, cousin and some of my Mams relations from California) paid for themselves. We got them a decent hotel near where the ceremony took place, brought them where they wanted whenever and looked after them during their stay. They all got to sit together on the flight and rooms next door to each other in the hotel so they were happy. Mine was a small wedding though which we wanted (could have turned out massive, but wasn't what we wanted), about 50 people in total.
Just remember of course if you are getting married abroad to consider the legality of the marriage when you return to Ireland and such. I can try and answer anyone elses queries.

Best of luck everyone getting married.

Figment · 25-07-2006 01:29PM

My sister got married in Sorrento last month and everyone happily paid for their own travel and accommodation. It was one of the best trips I have ever taken and definitely one of the best weddings.

jester77 · 25-07-2006 03:02PM

I've been abroad to a few weddings, never had anything paid for but would never expect this. What is a nice touch is to sort out accomodation arrangements and transport to/from the airport for everyone that is willing to travel. Makes it a better experience all round and doesn't cost you anything unless you need to rent a few cars.

Danes · 25-07-2006 03:34PM

Thanks everyone. I have my eye on Tuscany but of course, some family members are complaining about the cost. Is it humanly possible to orgainise a wedding and keep your sanity??!

iguana · 25-07-2006 08:00PM

Danes wrote:

Is it humanly possible to orgainise a wedding and keep your sanity??!

Sure, secretly elope. Of course then it's possible you would lose your sanity after the wedding when you tell people.

I'm getting married in the UK, so I sent all my friends and family a detailed email showing the best flights and three levels of hotel accomodation (budget, mid-level and luxury) in locations convient to the wedding. We also arranged for everyone who was booking the more expensive option to let us know so we could organise a group booking which included free breakfasts and a dinner on the night they arrived.

Danes · 26-07-2006 09:47AM

It crossed my mind to elope but as you say, I'd have to come back sometime :rolleyes:

I'm going to take your advice and give everyone as much info as I can and then they can either come with us or stay at home.

DBK · 26-07-2006 09:58AM

I'm getting married in Vegas this year and flew over at the beginning of the year to suss out everything for people that wanted to come. I had already given all my friends and family nearly 2 years notice to allow them to save. Most of them are using this trip as their holidays for the year and are going elsewhere afterwards.

When we were over there, we got as many tour guides, trip info and the likes as well as restaurant guides (as my folks are a little fuss - old school) and we put together a travel guide. We are paying for our parents, but the rest of the people are happy to pay for themselves. As I said, it's like they're going there on holiday and popping in for the wedding while they're there.

Figment · 26-07-2006 11:59AM

Danes wrote:

Is it humanly possible to orgainise a wedding and keep your sanity??!

I near cracked up when organising ours. Which is why i built www.weddingsbyadam.com to take the stress out of it.

Garibaldi · 26-07-2006 02:17PM

I'm getting married in Tuscany in 5 weeks. We paid for both sets of parents' accomodation and flights, the bridesmaids and best man/groomsman's accomodation. Everyone else is happily paying for their own accomodation/flights.
Who are you organising yours with, Danes?

Ruu_Old · 26-07-2006 03:24PM

Danes wrote:

Thanks everyone. I have my eye on Tuscany but of course, some family members are complaining about the cost. Is it humanly possible to orgainise a wedding and keep your sanity??!

I nearly snapped several times.

iguana · 26-07-2006 07:19PM

Danes wrote:

I have my eye on Tuscany but of course, some family members are complaining about the cost.

I meant to say also, that I made it clear to everyone that it was my choice to not marry in Ireland. So if they can't come I fully understand, and we can have a party or night out when I'm next home.

Danes · 27-07-2006 10:17AM

Garibaldi wrote:

I'm getting married in Tuscany in 5 weeks. We paid for both sets of parents' accomodation and flights, the bridesmaids and best man/groomsman's accomodation. Everyone else is happily paying for their own accomodation/flights.
Who are you organising yours with, Danes?

Im organising it through a local travel agent who use Sunway. Who are you using? Congrats on your wedding, where in Tuscany are you getting married?

flagpole · 27-07-2006 01:44PM

great thread! congrats to those getting married. does anyone have any website on getting married in tuscany? preferably a site/company they used themselves?
thanks for your help,
FP

Danes · 27-07-2006 09:41PM

The one Im looking at is www.sunway.ie.

flagpole · 28-07-2006 08:02AM

thanks a milllion!! let us know how you get on .

Clara Faveira · 31-07-2006 01:20PM

I'm a wedding co-ordinator in Portugal and I agree that the hotels and flights expenses are the guests responsablity.

The bride and groom should provide transportation for all the guests on the weding day and it would also be nice if they organize a tour for the guests in a way of saying thank you.

clara

Shabadu · 31-07-2006 02:55PM

Clara Faveira wrote:

I'm a wedding co-ordinator in Portugal and I agree that the hotels and flights expenses are the guests responsablity.

The bride and groom should provide transportation for all the guests on the weding day and it would also be nice if they organize a tour for the guests in a way of saying thank you.

clara

Clara, I deleted your second post on this thread. If it had been your first post, you would have been site-banned. Because your first post is helpful, I won't pursue this. Advertising is a no-no, please read the charter and don't do it again. Thank you.

Irish Salfordia · 02-08-2006 08:30AM

Danes wrote:

Im wondering who pays for what with a wedding abroad? Do the guests pay for their own travel and accomodation or is this down to the couple? Does anyone have experience of getting married abroad that they could share with me?

My daughter is getting married in Certaldo Alto Tuscany in 2 weeks time. ALL guests are paying their own transport and acommodation costs. I checked airline availability and prices to surrounding airports, got quotes for appartments, hotel and B&B's, car hire companies, ferry and drive options etc. and produced a small booklet (using Publisher) which was sent out to everyone with their invitation.
Almost all close family anf friends are coming, 40-45, and all happy to do so, most making it into a week or 2 week holiday. My daughter organised it through a wedding planning organisation, but do not feel they got good value. We find that we are getting far more out of friends who live 50 miles or so away, and from a local small hotel owner and people who own the appartments.
I would feel it can be done by yourselves with a little research.
We have options for people to be collected from airport or to hire cars. Close family are meeting 2 days beforhand for a meal and everyone still there the day after is invited to a vineyard / wine tasting tour. Coach and venue arranged.

Good luck, yell if i can help:)

Garibaldi · 21-08-2006 10:02AM

Danes wrote:

Im organising it through a local travel agent who use Sunway. Who are you using? Congrats on your wedding, where in Tuscany are you getting married?

Hi Danes,

Sorry for the late reply.

Mine is almost entirely being taken care of by the guys at www.italianweddings.ie. They've been excellent, I have to say - correction, the guys at the Italian end of the operation have been excellent and responded to any queries a lot faster than the Irish end of things. Typical! :rolleyes:
The big day is less than a fortnight away now, and it's taking place in Certaldo Alto, just like Irish Salfordia, coincidentally.
So, Irish Sal, how did your daughter's event work out (I'm guessing it's already happened, due to your post date and the mention of a couple of weeks)? Which hotel did you have the reception in? Was it Il Castello, by any chance? If so, did you run into any problems, or was it all (hopefully) totally smooth? Can you let me know some more detail about the wine tasting tour? Sounds like a great idea for a cure.

grockle · 11-09-2006 02:41PM

i am getting married abroad (in the states) and the guests are paying their own travel and accom - obv i and fiance will provide the 'day', prob including free bar for much of day.
the only people we'll be paying for are my daughter and the clergy we're taking with us from dublin and london (one each of catholic and unitarian)

and then when we get back to ireland we'll have a massive hooley for everyone

Irish Salfordia · 25-09-2006 10:24AM

www.italianweddings.ie. They've been excellent, I have to say - correction, the guys at the Italian end of the operation have been excellent and responded to any queries a lot faster than the Irish end of things. Typical! :rolleyes:

Agree my daughter went through these. Got the initial contact from them in italy, lovely halpful guy called Alfredo. He more than earnt his money, but John and the office staff in Ireland did very little other than that initial contact

So, Irish Sal, how did your daughter's event work out (I'm guessing it's already happened, due to your post date and the mention of a couple of weeks)?

Fanastic, everything went brilliantly even the weather was fantastic. Would highly recommend Certaldo Alto.

Which hotel did you have the reception in? Was it Il Castello, by any chance? If so, did you run into any problems, or was it all (hopefully) totally smooth?

Yes, Il Castillo it was. The hotel itself is very old fashioned and hasn't changed much (i would suspect) in the last half century. But the outside restaurant area where we had the reception is brilliant. Flowing fountains, turtles (not on the menu) walking about, idilic setting. Food was excellent, penty of it exceptionally nice and well served at a gentle pace. i.e. not rushed, plenty of time to chat etc.

Can you let me know some more detail about the wine tasting tour? Sounds like a great idea for a cure.

Sorry, a bit late for you but we went to 'Fatoria La Tancia' in Tavernell, Val de Pisa. Again excellent. Lovely food and plenty of it, 7 wines, grappa

and vin santo, which you have with almond biscuits soaked in it. Great night and our crowd really enjoyed it.

Hope yours went well

el madrigal · 26-01-2007 05:40PM

hi there. we were thinking of using them for our wedding which we are now planning and really we are just a bit nervous about trusting someone we have only met once with arranging the biggest day of our lives so far. would you recommend these guys even if the dublin end may be a bit slow. after the italian end got involved was it plain sailing. all replies greatly welcomed we are just a bit nervous.

Archie24 · 18-08-2008 02:50PM

Irish Salfordia wrote: »

My daughter is getting married in Certaldo Alto Tuscany in 2 weeks time. ALL guests are paying their own transport and acommodation costs. I checked airline availability and prices to surrounding airports, got quotes for appartments, hotel and B&B's, car hire companies, ferry and drive options etc. and produced a small booklet (using Publisher) which was sent out to everyone with their invitation.
Almost all close family anf friends are coming, 40-45, and all happy to do so, most making it into a week or 2 week holiday. My daughter organised it through a wedding planning organisation, but do not feel they got good value. We find that we are getting far more out of friends who live 50 miles or so away, and from a local small hotel owner and people who own the appartments.
I would feel it can be done by yourselves with a little research.
We have options for people to be collected from airport or to hire cars. Close family are meeting 2 days beforhand for a meal and everyone still there the day after is invited to a vineyard / wine tasting tour. Coach and venue arranged.

Good luck, yell if i can help:)

Help!! Im planning a wedding in certaldo italy and am tempted to arrange it all myself, rather than going through a wedding planner.

galah · 18-08-2008 03:43PM

getting married in Germany, and the guest are paying their flights and accomodation.

Luckily enough, there's two Ryanair airports relatively close by, and one Aerlingus destination as well. I've block-booked two hotels for all the guests, and arranged special pricing, but the guests will have to pay for their rooms themselves. We will be arranging transport from the hotel to the venue and back (cheaper rates). And if the budget allows, we'll also provide an airport pickup bus.

But - we don't expect wedding presents from anyone travelling over - so realistically, our guests come out the same whether we had a wedding in Ireland or abroad (considering that here, you'd also have to pay for accomodation, transport, a wedding gift (150 Euro +), AND all the drinks at the reception...) - with the added bonus of a really nice location, excellent food, and a weekend away!

JoSoap · 18-08-2008 03:54PM

Hi,
My husband and I (both Irish) got married in Tuscany two years ago. We rented a large self-catering villa that slept 36 people, so that accommodated the wedding party, immediate family and close friends. We asked them all to chip in 100 euros per head. Most of them stayed for about 5 days, so they considered this to be good value. My sister-in-law asked for this contribution from the guests, to avoid my husband and I having to do this. The overflow of guests stayed in the town nearby but could come and go at the villa as they pleased. They could also come out and use the swimming pool if they wished.
About 80 guests attended our wedding. Everybody paid for their own flights but most made it into a holiday. We provided a pizza party at our self catering villa on the night before the wedding, full catering on the day of the wedding and a barbeque lunch with wine and beer the day after. We tried to provide as much as we could for our guests, as we appreciated the expense they went to in flying over to attend our wedding. Having said that, it was really spectacular and very much talked about to this day.
So unless you're part of a group of friends where EVERYBODY is getting married abroad within the space of a year or two, I would say.... definitely do it. You'll give your guests a fantastic holiday and a very different wedding experience.

Mrs_Doyle · 18-08-2008 07:49PM

Me and my OH are getting married in Spain. We actually just confirmed the date this weekend.
We intend to pay for the wedding party, plus both imediate families.
Everyone else will be paying for themselves.
Now maybe that will change as we actually start getting into the nitty gritty, but thats the plan for now anyhow.

CathyMoran · 18-08-2008 08:37PM

Last year was the year of the 4 weddings for us, for the one in India the bride and groom paid for the accomodation and flights of the immediate relatives ((including fiances) though I was not able to go to that one), then we got married in Ireland and then my brother in law and sister in law both got married in Portugal, we paid for flights and accomodation for the first one and flights only for the second one. I guess that it really depends on where the wedding is and who is indespensible to be there.

Weddings Abroad

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