Weddings Abroad

Danes

Im wondering who pays for what with a wedding abroad? Do the guests pay for their own travel and accomodation or is this down to the couple? Does anyone have experience of getting married abroad that they could share with me?

SingingCherry

I got married in Ireland and I'm from abroad originally.

It is not required of you to pay for their flights or accommodation, but it's not pushy if you 'd like to (who'd turn down a free holiday???). You have to be prepared for people not to come though. There were many friends and family I would have loved to be at my wedding, but they just couldn't afford it and I couldn't pay their bill. No hard feelings, but they were missed on the day.

I would suggest, however, that you have some sort of dinner for everyone hosted by you and your fiancé or some kind of "welcome pack" with things from your destination in them, like maps, a list of places to eat and drink and some treats for them to bring home (I included one of those IRL tri-color stickers and a pack of shamrocks in ours). They did make an effort to come to your wedding, so it's nice to honor them in one way or another.

Also, before you send your invites out check airlines and hotels at your destination if they will give your guests a discounted rate if you book out some rooms/seats. Then when you send out your invitations, you can include this information, making it a little more likely that they'll be able to come.

Good luck!

Danes

Thanks for that. We're hoping to just have immediate family and one or two close friends so we wont be a large group. I like your idea of a welcome pack and will take up your suggestion looking into group bookings etc. This is my second marriage and because I've already done the big white Irish wedding, I'm trying to get as far away from that as I can.

theTinker

My sister is getting married in about 2 weeks in the USA, florida.
She is from ireland all her life till about 3 years ago. Everyone going is paying for thier own flights and there was not a single word of "thats odd" or "is she helping", so i assumed that that was normal. its a real close family thing only so there is only about 15 people going, but it ran at nearly 9k+ of plane tickets, which would be highly indecent to expect the new bride and groom to pay.

they did however rent out 2 large apartments, fit about 8 people in each(sum kids so its roughing it), they figured anyone coming can stay there or decide they want to pay for thier own place. it was helpful as most are staying there and any that want more can burden themselves with it! it seemed fair to me.

Edit: is it me or do peple seem to forget that the new bride and groom are trying to start a life and should be conserving thier money? i knew a family who actually fell out with thier son(groom) because he didnt want to fork out more moeny so he dissallowed certain people that he hadnt seen in years and who he didnt even know(friends of friends etc)

Ruu_Old

I got married in the US, I helped pay (they wouldn't accept it but I did anyway) for my Mam, Dad and brother to come over but the rest (my uncle, aunt, cousin and some of my Mams relations from California) paid for themselves. We got them a decent hotel near where the ceremony took place, brought them where they wanted whenever and looked after them during their stay. They all got to sit together on the flight and rooms next door to each other in the hotel so they were happy. Mine was a small wedding though which we wanted (could have turned out massive, but wasn't what we wanted), about 50 people in total.
Just remember of course if you are getting married abroad to consider the legality of the marriage when you return to Ireland and such. I can try and answer anyone elses queries. Best of luck everyone getting married.

Figment

My sister got married in Sorrento last month and everyone happily paid for their own travel and accommodation. It was one of the best trips I have ever taken and definitely one of the best weddings.

jester77

I've been abroad to a few weddings, never had anything paid for but would never expect this. What is a nice touch is to sort out accomodation arrangements and transport to/from the airport for everyone that is willing to travel. Makes it a better experience all round and doesn't cost you anything unless you need to rent a few cars.

Danes

Thanks everyone. I have my eye on Tuscany but of course, some family members are complaining about the cost. Is it humanly possible to orgainise a wedding and keep your sanity??!

iguana

Danes wrote:

Is it humanly possible to orgainise a wedding and keep your sanity??!

Sure, secretly elope. Of course then it's possible you would lose your sanity after the wedding when you tell people.

I'm getting married in the UK, so I sent all my friends and family a detailed email showing the best flights and three levels of hotel accomodation (budget, mid-level and luxury) in locations convient to the wedding. We also arranged for everyone who was booking the more expensive option to let us know so we could organise a group booking which included free breakfasts and a dinner on the night they arrived.

Danes

It crossed my mind to elope but as you say, I'd have to come back sometime :rolleyes:

I'm going to take your advice and give everyone as much info as I can and then they can either come with us or stay at home.

DBK

I'm getting married in Vegas this year and flew over at the beginning of the year to suss out everything for people that wanted to come. I had already given all my friends and family nearly 2 years notice to allow them to save. Most of them are using this trip as their holidays for the year and are going elsewhere afterwards.

When we were over there, we got as many tour guides, trip info and the likes as well as restaurant guides (as my folks are a little fuss - old school) and we put together a travel guide. We are paying for our parents, but the rest of the people are happy to pay for themselves. As I said, it's like they're going there on holiday and popping in for the wedding while they're there.

Figment

Danes wrote:

Is it humanly possible to orgainise a wedding and keep your sanity??!

I near cracked up when organising ours. Which is why i built www.weddingsbyadam.com to take the stress out of it.

Garibaldi

I'm getting married in Tuscany in 5 weeks. We paid for both sets of parents' accomodation and flights, the bridesmaids and best man/groomsman's accomodation. Everyone else is happily paying for their own accomodation/flights.
Who are you organising yours with, Danes?

Ruu_Old

Danes wrote:

Thanks everyone. I have my eye on Tuscany but of course, some family members are complaining about the cost. Is it humanly possible to orgainise a wedding and keep your sanity??!

I nearly snapped several times.

iguana

Danes wrote:

I have my eye on Tuscany but of course, some family members are complaining about the cost.

I meant to say also, that I made it clear to everyone that it was my choice to not marry in Ireland. So if they can't come I fully understand, and we can have a party or night out when I'm next home.

Danes

Garibaldi wrote:

I'm getting married in Tuscany in 5 weeks. We paid for both sets of parents' accomodation and flights, the bridesmaids and best man/groomsman's accomodation. Everyone else is happily paying for their own accomodation/flights.
Who are you organising yours with, Danes?

Im organising it through a local travel agent who use Sunway. Who are you using? Congrats on your wedding, where in Tuscany are you getting married?

flagpole

great thread! congrats to those getting married. does anyone have any website on getting married in tuscany? preferably a site/company they used themselves?
thanks for your help,
FP

Danes

The one Im looking at is www.sunway.ie.

flagpole

thanks a milllion!! let us know how you get on .

Clara Faveira

I'm a wedding co-ordinator in Portugal and I agree that the hotels and flights expenses are the guests responsablity.

The bride and groom should provide transportation for all the guests on the weding day and it would also be nice if they organize a tour for the guests in a way of saying thank you.

clara

Shabadu

Clara Faveira wrote:

I'm a wedding co-ordinator in Portugal and I agree that the hotels and flights expenses are the guests responsablity.

The bride and groom should provide transportation for all the guests on the weding day and it would also be nice if they organize a tour for the guests in a way of saying thank you.

clara

Clara, I deleted your second post on this thread. If it had been your first post, you would have been site-banned. Because your first post is helpful, I won't pursue this. Advertising is a no-no, please read the charter and don't do it again. Thank you.

Irish Salfordia

Danes wrote:

Im wondering who pays for what with a wedding abroad? Do the guests pay for their own travel and accomodation or is this down to the couple? Does anyone have experience of getting married abroad that they could share with me?

My daughter is getting married in Certaldo Alto Tuscany in 2 weeks time. ALL guests are paying their own transport and acommodation costs. I checked airline availability and prices to surrounding airports, got quotes for appartments, hotel and B&B's, car hire companies, ferry and drive options etc. and produced a small booklet (using Publisher) which was sent out to everyone with their invitation.
Almost all close family anf friends are coming, 40-45, and all happy to do so, most making it into a week or 2 week holiday. My daughter organised it through a wedding planning organisation, but do not feel they got good value. We find that we are getting far more out of friends who live 50 miles or so away, and from a local small hotel owner and people who own the appartments.
I would feel it can be done by yourselves with a little research.
We have options for people to be collected from airport or to hire cars. Close family are meeting 2 days beforhand for a meal and everyone still there the day after is invited to a vineyard / wine tasting tour. Coach and venue arranged.

Good luck, yell if i can help:)

Garibaldi

Danes wrote:

Im organising it through a local travel agent who use Sunway. Who are you using? Congrats on your wedding, where in Tuscany are you getting married?

Hi Danes,

Sorry for the late reply.

Mine is almost entirely being taken care of by the guys at www.italianweddings.ie. They've been excellent, I have to say - correction, the guys at the Italian end of the operation have been excellent and responded to any queries a lot faster than the Irish end of things. Typical! :rolleyes:
The big day is less than a fortnight away now, and it's taking place in Certaldo Alto, just like Irish Salfordia, coincidentally.
So, Irish Sal, how did your daughter's event work out (I'm guessing it's already happened, due to your post date and the mention of a couple of weeks)? Which hotel did you have the reception in? Was it Il Castello, by any chance? If so, did you run into any problems, or was it all (hopefully) totally smooth? Can you let me know some more detail about the wine tasting tour? Sounds like a great idea for a cure.

grockle

i am getting married abroad (in the states) and the guests are paying their own travel and accom - obv i and fiance will provide the 'day', prob including free bar for much of day.
the only people we'll be paying for are my daughter and the clergy we're taking with us from dublin and london (one each of catholic and unitarian)

and then when we get back to ireland we'll have a massive hooley for everyone

Irish Salfordia

www.italianweddings.ie. They've been excellent, I have to say - correction, the guys at the Italian end of the operation have been excellent and responded to any queries a lot faster than the Irish end of things. Typical! :rolleyes:

Agree my daughter went through these. Got the initial contact from them in italy, lovely halpful guy called Alfredo. He more than earnt his money, but John and the office staff in Ireland did very little other than that initial contact

So, Irish Sal, how did your daughter's event work out (I'm guessing it's already happened, due to your post date and the mention of a couple of weeks)?

Fanastic, everything went brilliantly even the weather was fantastic. Would highly recommend Certaldo Alto.

Which hotel did you have the reception in? Was it Il Castello, by any chance? If so, did you run into any problems, or was it all (hopefully) totally smooth?

Yes, Il Castillo it was. The hotel itself is very old fashioned and hasn't changed much (i would suspect) in the last half century. But the outside restaurant area where we had the reception is brilliant. Flowing fountains, turtles (not on the menu) walking about, idilic setting. Food was excellent, penty of it exceptionally nice and well served at a gentle pace. i.e. not rushed, plenty of time to chat etc.

Can you let me know some more detail about the wine tasting tour? Sounds like a great idea for a cure.

Sorry, a bit late for you but we went to 'Fatoria La Tancia' in Tavernell, Val de Pisa. Again excellent. Lovely food and plenty of it, 7 wines, grappa and vin santo, which you have with almond biscuits soaked in it. Great night and our crowd really enjoyed it.

Hope yours went well

el madrigal

hi there. we were thinking of using them for our wedding which we are now planning and really we are just a bit nervous about trusting someone we have only met once with arranging the biggest day of our lives so far. would you recommend these guys even if the dublin end may be a bit slow. after the italian end got involved was it plain sailing. all replies greatly welcomed we are just a bit nervous.

Archie24

Irish Salfordia wrote: »

My daughter is getting married in Certaldo Alto Tuscany in 2 weeks time. ALL guests are paying their own transport and acommodation costs. I checked airline availability and prices to surrounding airports, got quotes for appartments, hotel and B&B's, car hire companies, ferry and drive options etc. and produced a small booklet (using Publisher) which was sent out to everyone with their invitation.
Almost all close family anf friends are coming, 40-45, and all happy to do so, most making it into a week or 2 week holiday. My daughter organised it through a wedding planning organisation, but do not feel they got good value. We find that we are getting far more out of friends who live 50 miles or so away, and from a local small hotel owner and people who own the appartments.
I would feel it can be done by yourselves with a little research.
We have options for people to be collected from airport or to hire cars. Close family are meeting 2 days beforhand for a meal and everyone still there the day after is invited to a vineyard / wine tasting tour. Coach and venue arranged.

Good luck, yell if i can help:)

Help!! Im planning a wedding in certaldo italy and am tempted to arrange it all myself, rather than going through a wedding planner.

galah

getting married in Germany, and the guest are paying their flights and accomodation.

Luckily enough, there's two Ryanair airports relatively close by, and one Aerlingus destination as well. I've block-booked two hotels for all the guests, and arranged special pricing, but the guests will have to pay for their rooms themselves. We will be arranging transport from the hotel to the venue and back (cheaper rates). And if the budget allows, we'll also provide an airport pickup bus.

But - we don't expect wedding presents from anyone travelling over - so realistically, our guests come out the same whether we had a wedding in Ireland or abroad (considering that here, you'd also have to pay for accomodation, transport, a wedding gift (150 Euro +), AND all the drinks at the reception...) - with the added bonus of a really nice location, excellent food, and a weekend away!

JoSoap

Hi,
My husband and I (both Irish) got married in Tuscany two years ago. We rented a large self-catering villa that slept 36 people, so that accommodated the wedding party, immediate family and close friends. We asked them all to chip in 100 euros per head. Most of them stayed for about 5 days, so they considered this to be good value. My sister-in-law asked for this contribution from the guests, to avoid my husband and I having to do this. The overflow of guests stayed in the town nearby but could come and go at the villa as they pleased. They could also come out and use the swimming pool if they wished.
About 80 guests attended our wedding. Everybody paid for their own flights but most made it into a holiday. We provided a pizza party at our self catering villa on the night before the wedding, full catering on the day of the wedding and a barbeque lunch with wine and beer the day after. We tried to provide as much as we could for our guests, as we appreciated the expense they went to in flying over to attend our wedding. Having said that, it was really spectacular and very much talked about to this day.
So unless you're part of a group of friends where EVERYBODY is getting married abroad within the space of a year or two, I would say.... definitely do it. You'll give your guests a fantastic holiday and a very different wedding experience.

Mrs_Doyle

Me and my OH are getting married in Spain. We actually just confirmed the date this weekend.
We intend to pay for the wedding party, plus both imediate families.
Everyone else will be paying for themselves.
Now maybe that will change as we actually start getting into the nitty gritty, but thats the plan for now anyhow.

CathyMoran

Last year was the year of the 4 weddings for us, for the one in India the bride and groom paid for the accomodation and flights of the immediate relatives ((including fiances) though I was not able to go to that one), then we got married in Ireland and then my brother in law and sister in law both got married in Portugal, we paid for flights and accomodation for the first one and flights only for the second one. I guess that it really depends on where the wedding is and who is indespensible to be there.

Emerald Lass

but of course, some family members are complaining about the cost

isn't that the way of relatives? there will always be a few who gripe about the cost. If you get married in dublin and there is family in Cork, they will gripe! we all have relatives who complain regardless of how much effort you put into making things nice for them. These are usually the relatives who give the horrible picture of a farmer with his dog, or an ironing board, or a cheap glass vase as a gift (i.e useless and ugly, but either cheap or something they had themselves already! lol)

My advice is do what makes you happy on your big day, do as much as possible to help allieviate the costs (such as getting in touch with a travel agent who will give a special group booking price etc). After that, if they still complain stuff them! They don't consider the time and effort and money you are ploughing into this important day. If you don't mean enough to them to come then their loss. Anyone who really cares about the fact you are getting married will do their best to come. in all reality, if you add up the costs of travelling around Ireland for a wedding, hotel 9if staying in another county), gift, drinks on the day, taxi home etc it prob costs about the same! Once people have plenty of notice and can make it their annual holiday then I think that is fair.

Also, forgot to mention, when marrying abroad I wouldn't expect gifts too, and would let people know this. The effort of travelling and the cost of that would be gift enough.

I am having my wedding in turkey, and as things are quite cheap here I am including a pamper session for the ladies and gents! (small wedding) they will all be treated to a turkish bath, and then hair styling and nails for the ladies and turkish shaves and face massage for the men! It'll be a nice treat for everyone, will cost very little for me, and all my guests will look a million dollars in the photos! lol As my partner is Muslim, not many people (except the Irish prob) will drink very much, so I thought that open bar, and the pampering to thank everyone for coming would be a nice touch.

By marrying abroad you will have a smaller wedding, but at least those who attend will genuinely want to be there to see you on your big day, rather than see it as a chance of a free dinner and an opportunity to get plastered!

Mrs_Doyle

Emerald Lass wrote: »

By marrying abroad you will have a smaller wedding, but at least those who attend will genuinely want to be there to see you on your big day!

That's the main reason me and my OH decided to get married abroad.
Just hate the idea of having to ask some distant relation I don't see from one end of the year to the other, out of some sort of unwritten family obligation.

Lgray

Hey guys,
I'm just starting to plan for getting married in Lanzarote, around september time 2011 so plenty of time( i think). I just don't know where to start! any tips, advice and suggestions welcomed

Thanks,

Lorna

bubbledoll

Hi,

I am at the planning stages for my wedding in Septermber 2011 and am undecided on the location - I am between getting married home or abroad. I like the idea of both for very different reasons. I find the prices being charged here for weddings are huge. A lot of people talk about the savings they make when they get married abroad - can anyone give me some more information on this. Its hard to weigh up my options with such little information. Thanks

hunnymonster

it's hard to compare like with like for weddings abroad and at home. We're getting married in Portugal in April. Some things are cheaper and some (the meal in particular) is a lot more expensive. I reckon overall it's costing slightly more to get married in Portugal than here but you can't buy good weather and a beach wedding which is why we chose to go away.

Cheetara

bubbledoll wrote: »

Hi,

I am at the planning stages for my wedding in Septermber 2011 and am undecided on the location - I am between getting married home or abroad. I like the idea of both for very different reasons.

Am in a similar position. I really want to keep the wedding to a small number of people but already its beginning to spiral out of control. I love the idea of a Tuscan wedding but am not really sure about how to go about organizing this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

dreais

hunnymonster wrote: »

it's hard to compare like with like for weddings abroad and at home. We're getting married in Portugal in April. Some things are cheaper and some (the meal in particular) is a lot more expensive. I reckon overall it's costing slightly more to get married in Portugal than here but you can't buy good weather and a beach wedding which is why we chose to go away.

Hunnymonster, I'd love to get married on a beach too - I think it's so romantic! Have you come across any issues in particular, e.g. having to have a civil cermony here first? Do you have a wedding planner?

I havn't decided fully decided what country to get married in yet as I'm not getting married until summer 2012. I'd be grateful for any advise you could give me

yungwan

Myself and boyfriend have recently started to consider getting married abroad. Mainly because the only thing keeping us from getting married at the moment is the sheer cost of getting married in Ireland.

I understand that you can get away cheaply in Ireland by cutting out some unneccessary costs, but that would mean going for an average location with a meal every single wedding has. Soup, Vol a Vont, Beef or Salmon, bla bla bla. Its all so boring when you think about it.

I see another poster has said you dont actually save anything by going abroad? Is this actually true? We dont know where we want to get abroad but I fancy the idea of getting married on a beach and Mauritus looks beautiful. I expect this would be very expensive though as flights would be costly. Has anyone got married in Mauritus? I would be open to Italy or somewhere in the Caribean too?

We would probably pay for parents and maybe wedding party but perhaps not the latter. I like the idea of providing a meal for everyone the night before, an open bar and meal on the day and a BBQ or something the next day like another poster suggested. This would really help them out financially.

Any costs anyone could add would be grateful. Ball park figures for your wedding abroad including everything just so I can measure it against an Irish one. If you want to PM me do!!

Also, my sister is getting married in Summer 2012 which is holding me and my boyfriend up BIG TIME as she has asked us to wait until they get married before me do. How soon after their wedding would be appropriate to plan ours? I assume it would be too cheeky to plan it the same summer because of the expense on our family? Its annoying me having to wait so long though

hunnymonster

dreais wrote: »

Hunnymonster, I'd love to get married on a beach too - I think it's so romantic! Have you come across any issues in particular, e.g. having to have a civil cermony here first? Do you have a wedding planner?

I havn't decided fully decided what country to get married in yet as I'm not getting married until summer 2012. I'd be grateful for any advise you could give me

Sorry I only saw this question now. We had no issues at all. The wedding planners we used (algarve wedding planners) organised a solicitor for us and it was a 10 minute trip to the court house to do the legal stuff out there and then the Christian ceremony at the beach. The cost of the solicitor was similar to the registry office fees in Ireland so it was nice to do it all at once in Portugal.

H8GHOTI

yungwan wrote: »

Myself and boyfriend have recently started to consider getting married abroad. Mainly because the only thing keeping us from getting married at the moment is the sheer cost of getting married in Ireland.

I understand that you can get away cheaply in Ireland by cutting out some unneccessary costs, but that would mean going for an average location with a meal every single wedding has. Soup, Vol a Vont, Beef or Salmon, bla bla bla. Its all so boring when you think about it.

I see another poster has said you dont actually save anything by going abroad? Is this actually true? We dont know where we want to get abroad but I fancy the idea of getting married on a beach and Mauritus looks beautiful. I expect this would be very expensive though as flights would be costly. Has anyone got married in Mauritus? I would be open to Italy or somewhere in the Caribean too?

We would probably pay for parents and maybe wedding party but perhaps not the latter. I like the idea of providing a meal for everyone the night before, an open bar and meal on the day and a BBQ or something the next day like another poster suggested. This would really help them out financially.

Any costs anyone could add would be grateful. Ball park figures for your wedding abroad including everything just so I can measure it against an Irish one. If you want to PM me do!!

We're only in the early stages of planning our wedding but from what I can see the main reason getting married abroad is cheaper is because there will be less people at it. You might only have 30-40 at it abroad, whereas it could be 100+ here. The price per head might not be much different. The hotel we're looking at, 5 star in Gran Canaria, the meal will cost between €55 - €80 depending on what options we go for.

Some costs will be the same as here. Your dress, bridesmaid dress, his suit, rings etc.... You might save a bit on photos, hair/make-up, flowers etc...... But not sure how much. It won't be €1000's anyway.
We're going over for a week soon on holiday & we're going to meet with a planner while we're there. We'll have a better idea after that.

On Mauritius/Caribbean - it's more a thing you'd do if there's only a very small group going over for it. You can't expect many friends to be able to afford to travel over for that. I'd save somewhere like that for the honeymoon.

yungwan wrote: »

Also, my sister is getting married in Summer 2012 which is holding me and my boyfriend up BIG TIME as she has asked us to wait until they get married before me do. How soon after their wedding would be appropriate to plan ours? I assume it would be too cheeky to plan it the same summer because of the expense on our family? Its annoying me having to wait so long though

Why does she want ye to wait? Is she getting married here or abroad? Two weddings in the same summer might be a bit much alright. Even if people can afford it, if you have your wedding so close after hers, then you'll be taking some of the spotlight off her.

yungwan

H8GHOTI wrote: »

We're only in the early stages of planning our wedding but from what I can see the main reason getting married abroad is cheaper is because there will be less people at it. You might only have 30-40 at it abroad, whereas it could be 100+ here. The price per head might not be much different. The hotel we're looking at, 5 star in Gran Canaria, the meal will cost between €55 - €80 depending on what options we go for.

Some costs will be the same as here. Your dress, bridesmaid dress, his suit, rings etc.... You might save a bit on photos, hair/make-up, flowers etc...... But not sure how much. It won't be €1000's anyway.
We're going over for a week soon on holiday & we're going to meet with a planner while we're there. We'll have a better idea after that.


On Mauritius/Caribbean - it's more a thing you'd do if there's only a very small group going over for it. You can't expect many friends to be able to afford to travel over for that. I'd save somewhere like that for the honeymoon.




Why does she want ye to wait? Is she getting married here or abroad? Two weddings in the same summer might be a bit much alright. Even if people can afford it, if you have your wedding so close after hers, then you'll be taking some of the spotlight off her.

Yes this is exactly what we were thinking on all of the above. I know we would have to take into account that some people wouldnt be able to go etc which would be a little disappointing but on the flip side only the important people would be there. Its definately something we will consider. Good idea on visiting the area first - that way you can really get a good feel for the area and hotels etc.

I was looking at prices on sunworld website and they are a little more pricey than I thought - I was looking and Sicily in particular. But I guess a certain percentage of this is going to the tour operators - hiring a wedding planner abroad would probably be a lot cheaper. Flights and accommodation also have to be factored in, so from my research its not going to be that much cheaper than at home.

I think the surroundings, the romantic settings and the weather will really tempt us to take the plunge and have this different wedding abroad. Unfortunately its along way off, more than likey May 2013.

In reponse to your last question - she got engaged first and despite having an annoyingly long 2.5 year engagement they want us to wait until after them which adds at least 12 months on theirs as I also want a summer wedding. She will be getting married at home. Oh well :rolleyes:

EnglishPollop

yungwan wrote: »

In reponse to your last question - she got engaged first and despite having an annoyingly long 2.5 year engagement they want us to wait until after them which adds at least 12 months on theirs as I also want a summer wedding. She will be getting married at home. Oh well :rolleyes:

That sounds very selfish of her...I'd understand if she were getting married pretty soon, but she's making you wait a long time! You poor thing.

Just my opinion!

tinkerbell

yungwan wrote: »

Also, my sister is getting married in Summer 2012 which is holding me and my boyfriend up BIG TIME as she has asked us to wait until they get married before me do. How soon after their wedding would be appropriate to plan ours? I assume it would be too cheeky to plan it the same summer because of the expense on our family? Its annoying me having to wait so long though

Err ..... excuse me but your sister cannot dictate when you decide to get married. It's her decision that she wanted to have a 2.5 yr engagement. Can you not get married late summer 2011 instead if you still want a summer wedding? Or maybe october 2011 / April 2012 as the weather will prob still be ok then and you won't be in the winter months?

iguana

Yungwan, there are a lot of reasons to get married, legal reasons relating to your relationship. For example when my husband was seriously ill last year it was only as his wife that I could stay in the ICU with him and have his doctors tell me about his condition, as his girlfriend I would have been kept away and told nothing. The wedding is only a tiny, near insignificant part of a marriage. It's completely unfair of your sister to expect you to put your life on hold for two and a half years because she wants to wait. If you want to get married sooner then simply explain to her that you in no way want to "upstage" her, but you want to move forward with your life.

ABajaninCork

Although I'm English, I got married 'abroad', i.e. here in Ireland. Our guests did pay their own flights and accomodation, although we gave them a list of cheap hotels/B & B's to work from. I did feel a bit funny about inviting my English guests as I was worried about the expense; but do you know - They ALL came!!!

I paid for my parents, my husband paid his family's accomodation costs. My brothers paid their own way.

I would give as much notice as possible, and make up a little fact sheet giving the hotel and flight info in advance of the formal invitation.

Hope this helps!

yungwan

Yeah its true that she has been very selfish about it all. Everyone ive said it to has agreed, and I havent even said I was annoyed, they've all just looked at me and said "why do ye have to wait"??!


Recently a family member asked them when they getting married and they were like "oh PROBABLY Summer 2012" and my boyfriend and I were like "huh? wouldnt you think they''d get a frigging move on like!!

Anywho myself and my boyf have decided we are going to give them until Christmas 2010 to set a final date and get a move on or we are going to wade in. We are not in a MAD rush but I dont really appreciate being made wait and being dictated to. But we will hold off for now.

We have nearly certainly made the decision to get married abroad. We think it would be so different and nice. So watch this space!!

Thanks for advice guys,