Why did I say that...D'oh!!

mazroo · 12-07-2006 02:06PM

HavoK wrote:

Mazroo your second one there just reminded me of one from when I was small.

I don't remember it, but according to my dad we were out one day when we met an elderly woman for some reason, I can't remember if it was a chance meeting, or whatever, but basically she called me an adorable lad, asked what age I was, the usual.

I asked her what age she was, and she said "82", and my reply? "God you'll be dead soon so!"

So cringingly embarrassing, imagine how the poor lady felt!

Lol... gas. my aunt got new dentures and man they looked freakey.. was walkin through the center and this kid looks up an says.... the set of choppers on her.. (n a skanger accent)

I nearly exploded tryin to hold in my laugh

muppetkiller · 12-07-2006 02:07PM

A begger put out her hand and before she said anything I came out with "Sorry I've no Cheese"

robinph · 12-07-2006 02:15PM

sean_keevey wrote:

My Brother:::
"How many countries play in the Six Nations?"

4? Italy, France, Ireland, UK.;)

Tobias Greeshman · 12-07-2006 02:18PM

mukki wrote:

whats stupid about the aston martin question

You don't know much about cars do you?? :rolleyes:

I've done a load of small silly things, but I'm finding it hard to think of one that stands out here...

Oh well maybe this one:
When I was filling out my CAO form (back in the day

), there was a guy in my year who had the same name as me and I accidently put down his exam number on my CAO form. Went months without realizing it, until one of my friends pointed it out to me. The biggest OOOPS/Oh **** ensued...

mazroo · 12-07-2006 02:22PM

silas wrote:

You don't know much about cars do you?? :rolleyes:

I've done a load of small silly things, but I'm finding it hard to think of one that stands out here...

Oh well maybe this one:
When I was filling out my CAO form (back in the day ), there was a guy in my year who had the same name as me and I accidently put down his exam number on my CAO form. Went months without realizing it, until one of my friends pointed it out to me. The biggest OOOPS/Oh **** ensued...

ur just not as slow as us...lol

samo · 12-07-2006 02:25PM

TheGooner wrote:

This morning in front of a whole office of colleagues I answered the phone stating that it was the old comapny I worked for....everyone was like :eek: :eek:

Incase you didn't get that I said: "Good morning, (insert old company name here), Gooner speaking" Oh my god the shame!!!! I wouldn't mind but I have been here over a year now.

I've done that in previous jobs many a time! I used to work for various different travel agencies and often answered with the name of the previous travel agents just to add to the confusion but would be laughing so hard couldne even tell them where they'd actually rang!!

Also guilty of Kiera's one about blessing yourself going past
what you assume to be a church, only in my case its always past the last house I lived in

Have to say this thread is very funny, gave me a good laugh today!

Lust4Life · 12-07-2006 02:49PM

Hubby was reading a book one time about the great scholars and asked
"Good book, but I can't figure out who is this Euripides (He pronounced it Europe - pide's) guy? He was so cool!"
I said "You mean Euripides?" (pronouncing it correctly)
He smacked his forehead "Doh!"

L4L

Pompey Magnus · 12-07-2006 02:58PM

I don't remember this but have been told about how when I was very young (3 or 4) I had a great memory, could memorise my little kids books and different songs off by heart but once we were travelling up North and got stopped at a British Army checkpoint. I saw the soldiers walking up to the car and decided to burst into a rousing rendition of "The Men Behind the Wire", my parents tried in vain to shut me up but there was no stopping me, apparently the soldier saw the funny side of it and we got out in one piece.

Beetlebum · 12-07-2006 03:00PM

The dumbest thing I've done is so goddamn dumb it's almost unbelievable...and yet believable....

My hair is blonde (there may be a connection here) but I was just after coming from the hairdressers where I'd had it dyed brown. I went into a cafe and was walking up the stairs when this girl steps in my way. She looked vaguely familiar to me so I smiled at her, she smiled back. I stepped to the right but so did she so I stepped to the left and so did she. It suddenly dawned on me why she was copying my every move. There was a mirror at the top of the stairs!! It was my own reflection:eek:

I laughed all the way home that day, what a muppet!!

_feedback_ · 12-07-2006 03:12PM

i was away in england this weekend and was supervising a group of younger people.. we found some drink anyway that wasn't supposed to be there. The guy in charge of the group gave a big lecture saying that we would be checking everyone coming in that night, and tasting everything in bottles..

what he said went something like "if we find drink in any bottle, that bottle is in serious trouble"

in a real serious situation, it was diffucult to keep in the laughter.

r3nu4l · 12-07-2006 03:20PM

Just remembered this one:

I used to be a scout leader. We were camping one weekend in Wicklow when I noticed some of the scouts acting suspiciously and sneaking off. So I told one of the other leaders and we followed them. We assumed they had some cans of beer or cider. When they stopped I approached them and said "hand over the drink lads!" to which one of the scouts replied,

"We haven't got any drink just this hash, honest!"
The look on the other guys faces was priceless.

I also remember being on a bus and my friend and I were chatting away, approaching the bus stop, he gets up and goes downstairs still chatting away to me but in the meantime I realised I had left my earphones behind me and went back to get them. So he's downstairs on his own standing near the driver still talking to nobody, thinking I'm behind him until some old woman touched his arm and said to him consolingly "Are y'alright son?':D

chamlis · 12-07-2006 03:23PM

Beetlebum wrote:

The dumbest thing I've done is so goddamn dumb it's almost unbelievable...and yet believable....

My hair is blonde (there may be a connection here) but I was just after coming from the hairdressers where I'd had it dyed brown. I went into a cafe and was walking up the stairs when this girl steps in my way. She looked vaguely familiar to me so I smiled at her, she smiled back. I stepped to the right but so did she so I stepped to the left and so did she. It suddenly dawned on me why she was copying my every move. There was a mirror at the top of the stairs!! It was my own reflection:eek:

I laughed all the way home that day, what a muppet!!

Oh. My. God. :eek:

I often say thank you to inanimate objects like the fridge or the car door. But I was once caught having a full blown rhetorical conversation with my dog. And I don't mean the "Who's a good booooy? Yes, yes you!" kind....

Sleipnir · 12-07-2006 03:27PM

chamlis wrote:

I was once caught having a full blown rhetorical conversation with my dog

Rhetorical eh....? As opposed to the conversations where he talks back?

Dunno how many times I called a teacher "mum" in school...
Come on, who else did this when they were younger?

Sleipnir · 12-07-2006 03:30PM

Oh, I also say "bye-bye" sometimes to work collegues and vendors like you would to a toddler. (i have 2 kids)
"Thanks for meeting with me today"
"No problem at all. BYE, BYE!"

All but the little finger wave...

Smellyirishman · 12-07-2006 03:32PM

Yeah, done the teacher = mam one a few times, or the organism = orgasm will reading out some piece in class.

fintan · 12-07-2006 03:33PM

Standing at traffic lights
Wedding bus drives by
G'Friend turns to me and says
"Who would want to get married on a bus"!?!?!?!?!?

Fintan laughs all the way home

hullaballoo · 12-07-2006 03:50PM

Sleipnir wrote:

Rhetorical eh....? As opposed to the conversations where he talks back?

Dunno how many times I called a teacher "mum" in school...
Come on, who else did this when they were younger?

I can go one better. I had this crotchety ould so-and-so for a teacher in Senior Infants and she'd call the roll every morning, as you do.

The usual response was, "anseo".

One morning I responded with, "I love you very much". As you do.

the Shades · 12-07-2006 04:02PM

I was working in a jewellers a few years ago and was putting some boxes away. While crouching down at the cabinet I was singing Come Fly With Me to myself merrily ignoring everything around me. I stood up, turned around and saw Michael O Leary standing there beside me.

padi89 · 12-07-2006 04:12PM

Kiera wrote:

I’m always at it. I constantly ask the bus driver for 20 silk cut blue. Bless myself when passing a petrol station; I’m not religious so have no idea why I do this. A few weeks ago, I thanked the can dispenser for my can of Fanta in the middle of a take away.

i dont know how many times i have said"thanks" to the ATM machine???:o

d-redser · 12-07-2006 04:15PM

padi89 wrote:

i dont know how many times i have said"thanks" to the ATM machine???:o

I do this too but I am usually over the moon when it doesnt say "insufficient funds"

Morlar · 12-07-2006 04:23PM

Beetlebum wrote:

The dumbest thing I've done is so goddamn dumb it's almost unbelievable...and yet believable....

My hair is blonde (there may be a connection here) but I was just after coming from the hairdressers where I'd had it dyed brown. I went into a cafe and was walking up the stairs when this girl steps in my way. She looked vaguely familiar to me so I smiled at her, she smiled back. I stepped to the right but so did she so I stepped to the left and so did she. It suddenly dawned on me why she was copying my every move. There was a mirror at the top of the stairs!! It was my own reflection:eek:

I laughed all the way home that day, what a muppet!!

Thats the funniest thing i have heard in ages! brilliant.

Gryzor · 12-07-2006 04:23PM

thers a woman here at work, who is practically deaf and has a pretty severe speech impediment, she can communicate verbally but only if you're lookin at her so she can lip read....anyway i passed her in the corridoor one day and she asked me for something, i couldn't do anything for her there so i asked her to give me a ring when she got back to the desk and wandered off..i got about 10 steps when the penny dropped, i had to go back and ask her to mail me instead...:o

one nite when i was locked, i wandered into supermacs demanding a mcchiken sandwich...they told me they didn't have any...i was having none of it...:D eventually my brother who was with me had to step in...

Funsterdelux · 12-07-2006 04:27PM

One of my college mates, who I lived with this year(not any more thank christ), he is 22 now, but he only found out, last summer, that almonds are nuts, like wtf else could they be, beans!

Morlar · 12-07-2006 04:39PM

I remember once not long after starting a new job - where I went to the canteen for lunch.

The canteen had a machine like an atm where you put your work id badge into one slot and then you put money in the other slot and it gets put on your card. So you can then use your id card to pay for things in the canteen.

Anyway I went to this machine and there was a long queue of pissed off people and at the top was a girl who just could not figure this machine out at all. She was trying to put her id badge into the money slot - not only that (completely wouldnt fit) she was trying to jab it in sideways - and not in a single swift motion - but like a broken record kind of 'tap tap tap tap tap' repeatedly like as if at any second its going to suddenly fit.

Anyway none of the people in the queue behind her were offering any help at all. So I thought screw this and pushed my way to the front of the queue - took her card off her and slid it into the correct slot saying

'sorry love it doesnt go in like that - it goes in like this'

to which she just about went ape**** for a single second before calming down and saying 'yes I know that - my money is stuck !

I just kind of went ok then - and scarpered.

LovelyHurling · 12-07-2006 05:31PM

Snip. i posted these on my bebo about a friend of mine

1)posting letters, quote Tadhg "they just post it through the door step"

2)school - Chemistry class; quote Tadhg "So animals need oxygen to live?"

3)Christchurch Cathedral bells 9pm - quote Tadhg "listen, its a wedding"

4)Believing that is is illegal to drink Red Bull before 6 o'clock

5)Mounting a horse in the stable and forgetting to duck as he came out the door

6) Driving the jeep up the open silage pit almost flipping it and eventually clogging the engine with grass

7)On the birth of Christ; quote Tadhg: "which is more important, Christmas or New Years"

8) Driving past the front gate leading to the house, forgetting to make the turn

9)Trying to whistle for a taxi to get home from town at 4am. and no taxi was in sight.

10) Thinking that the Kursk submarine disaster was happening in Space

Any contributions to Tadhg's repertoire would be greatly appreciated!!

Sam Vimes · 12-07-2006 05:40PM

my sister did that thing with the mirror too. she was looking down in a world of her own when she came across a mirror. without looking up she moved left and right as you do, glanced up very quickly and thought "that girl looks familiar" but continued to try to get past her for a few more seconds before realising her stupidity. and shes not even blonde !

did the organism as orgasm thing in school. called the teacher mammy and all that

at home about age 8 i wanted to ask a question so i put my hand up and patiently waited to be called

heard about this one:
a woman looking at a receipt in a restaurant said "they're congratulating you on eating your steak. look, it says well done". that was how it was cooked of course

i was woken up by my phone once and in my disoriented state i forgot what you say when you answer the phone. luckily i chanced "hello" in the hopes i was right

me and the biz · 12-07-2006 05:48PM

Having a fairly serious conversion with my parents about alzheimer's, my dads reply should've been "As far as I know, its not genetic." but it just came out as "As far as I know, its not testicle..." Wtf? lol

My aunt was telling us about some circus thing she was recently at and told us they were foreign. My dad asks her were they South American, "No, they were foreign."

Sofaspud · 12-07-2006 05:54PM

A few weeks ago I walked into my living room, where my parents were sitting, and there was some incense burning.

So I said "There's a smell of incest . . . . er . . . incense."

Luckily I don't think they heard the incest bit.

coralcathy · 12-07-2006 06:59PM

working in a bar and chatting to customers bout connecting flights

meant to say " I had to shuffle my flights"

but it came out "I had to fluffle my ****es"...........................

Closing Doors · 12-07-2006 07:22PM

A guy I went to school with asked the science teacher if fire turns into a liquid in space

Why did I say that...D'oh!!

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