Why did I say that...D'oh!!

Beetlebum

The other night I was round in my friends house having a few drinks, watching Forest Gump. At the end of the movie, my usually intelligent friend says ' Wow, he's amazing, is he still alive?!'.....I looked at her and nearly choked on my beer as I watched the penny drop.

Gotta admit I've said and done some pretty stupid things in my time aswell.
Once I was making soup and I didn't want any of the bits to be in it so I held the saucepan over the sink with a sieve and proceeded to pour the contents in, the mistake I made was not putting a bowl under it so all I was left with was a sieveful of bits....d'oh!!

Another time, I was filling in my application form for an Australian visa and at the section where it says date of birth, the format was day/month/year. Without thinking, I turned to my friend and said 'How the hell am I supposed to know what day I was born on? Sure I'll just put down Wednesday...'

Jesus, sometimes I wonder how I get to work in the morning without a Sherpa! What's the stupidest thing you've ever said or done without thinking?!

Ruu_Old

I do this regularly.:o I intend to make a cup of tea but instead it ends up as just a cup of boiling water and sugar.

LadyJ

One time I said that it'd be a great idea for someone to make a film about a crazy taxi driver,who just goes around killing people.

It seemed like a fresh idea for about a second.

Kiera

I’m always at it. I constantly ask the bus driver for 20 silk cut blue. Bless myself when passing a petrol station; I’m not religious so have no idea why I do this. A few weeks ago, I thanked the can dispenser for my can of Fanta in the middle of a take away.

EWheelChair

Im very dozy when im really hungover, i do all sorts of stupid things like that. Locking the bathroom door before i close it and then trying to close it. Walking into the kitchen and looking in the fridge when i was meant to be looking for washed clothes.

Happens all the time

EWheelChair

Kiera wrote:

I thanked the can dispenser for my can of Fanta in the middle of a take away.

Haha, classic.

TomCo

I regularly say sorry to people who should be apologising to me.

Kolodny

I used to do a lot of call centre/reception work and have often been known to answer my mobile stating the name of the company I was working for at the time.

Dun laoire

Kiera wrote:

I’m always at it. I constantly ask the bus driver for 20 silk cut blue. Bless myself when passing a petrol station; I’m not religious so have no idea why I do this.A few weeks ago, I thanked the can dispenser for my can of Fanta in the middle of a take away.

That made me laugh. A real blonde moment

Sleipnir

Kiera wrote:

I’m always at it. I constantly ask the bus driver for 20 silk cut blue. Bless myself when passing a petrol station; I’m not religious so have no idea why I do this. A few weeks ago, I thanked the can dispenser for my can of Fanta in the middle of a take away.

HA HA HA HA! I love you....... (wipes tear from eye)

LadyJ

Kiera wrote:

Bless myself when passing a petrol station

I can empathise here.

I used to be an alter server when I was a kid and in school I would always bow at the teacher's desk and then bless myself.

It was pretty funny but got me into trouble sometimes as she thought I was "being cheeky".

shoutman

Im not to bad at saying stuff like this but some of my friends are just rediculous.

Theres one especially who has come out with such gems as:
When in a Chinese she was asked if she wanted to try some duck to which her reply was "no thankss I dont eat fish"

Also she has asked "Do turtles have eyes".

Another friend of mine has inquired as to what a Malaysian was and if Holland was a country or a part of france. (now id almost find this acceptable but she was in the place two years ago )

Huggles

This morning in front of a whole office of colleagues I answered the phone stating that it was the old comapny I worked for....everyone was like :eek: :eek:

Incase you didn't get that I said: "Good morning, (insert old company name here), Gooner speaking" Oh my god the shame!!!! I wouldn't mind but I have been here over a year now.

LadyJ

I remember once in 6th year we were talking about IQ in maths and someone mentioned Steven Hawking.

Then a girl up the front asked "Is he in this school?"

r3nu4l

I remember getting on the 25 bus in Lucan and asking the driver how much it was to go to Lucan...of course, I meant how much is it to go to town*

Also when I was 18, I remember a Garda car pulling up onto the footpath in front of me at about 4 am one morning, when I was drunk. The headlights were blazing so I didn't realize it was a Garda car and when the guy pulled down the window and asked me my name I said:

'What's it to you? Think you're a cop or something?'







*biko, for the purposes of this post 'town' is Dublin city centre.

Dun laoire

Jaysus i stated thinking about it and my brothers friend who lets just say isnt the full shilling pulled out some beautys but one that sticks out was a few of them went out for dinner and he ordered steak, when the waiter asked him how he'd like it done he said "cooked please" or another one was he rang vodafone complaining he couldnt hear his phone because it was on silent.

Bard

Kiera wrote:

Bless myself when passing a petrol station; I’m not religious so have no idea why I do this.

Keep doing it! You just know the one time you forget to do it, the petrol station will explode!

ORVEE

Chatting to a mate one day who was rattling on about his love life bla..bla...bla...I told him that only his mother could love him.
His response.....I'm adopted.
Oop's

fuzzywiggle

The other night a girl said to me ''oh heya, haven't seen you in ages! How have you been keeping?'' I said ''ooh no thanks'' ??? She didn't say anything which made me feel even more embarrassed.

Another time I said hello to this fella I liked just as I walked by him. It went like this

Me: (quietly) hi
Him: Alrite (my name)
Me: (loudly) Hiiii!

He must have thought that I was so delighted he said hello back that I said it again?!!?

Thomas_S_Hunterson

My Brother:::
"How many countries play in the Six Nations?"

Dooom

Beetlebum wrote:

Another time, I was filling in my application form for an Australian visa and at the section where it says date of birth, the format was day/month/year. Without thinking, I turned to my friend and said 'How the hell am I supposed to know what day I was born on? Sure I'll just put down Wednesday...'

ROFL

teh winlegend.

Takeshi_Kovacs

I remember doing a french aural test in college, where i started of by giving my name, address and age in Irish, before i realised my folly..

Thank god the tester also spoke good Irish, and had just a good laugh about it...

jobonar

1 of my mates just cannot think before he talks! his best 2 were :

1)how many qurters are there in a American Football?!
2)When is "That 70's show" set?

Playing football 1 day and him in a world of his own forgetting i'm standing right in front of him and spits a mouthful of water out and soaks me! took him about 5 mins to cop what he'd done!!

Smellyirishman

After channel flicking and landing on Countdown, the round time was up and whatshisface asked the contestants "So, what did you get?", "Seven" replied the first, "Seven" replied the second. To which my GF proclaimed "Sure how could they get seven, there is no 'V' on the board". You had to be there :cool:.

In mass, my sister and I both occasionally said "Thanks" after recieving communion.

fuzzywiggle

Oh, I once asked did an Aston Martin DB9 take diesel or petrol

mukki

whats stupid about the aston martin question


heard a girl saying "god, the planes get very close to the ground when they are landing"

TerrorFirmer

went out for dinner and he ordered steak, when the waiter asked him how he'd like it done he said "cooked please"

Best so far by a mile!!

I've never said anything outrageously stupid that really sticks in my mind but I've definately done it loads.

I used to know this guy who was forever mixing his words with those of a prior conversation - for example, we were once making small talk about the gaeltacht, etc, and other things. About an entire hour later the lad goes "I'm really hungry lads, why don't we all go down to the Gaeltacht?"

He used to do it ALL the time, pretty amusing, I often wondered what an earth caused this....

mazroo

Sleipnir wrote:

HA HA HA HA! I love you....... (wipes tear from eye)

I love ALL of you.. this made me laugh hard today...needed that... I also dont think im a freak anymore... the electricty went off before and we were ll starvin.. I piped up with.. Just use the microwave.. Another time I was out with my mam and she met this lady who had Cancer and was just after treatment... conversation went like this:

Mam and I: Hi (name and name was also smokin at the time)
name: Hi
Mam : U look better how have u been how is the treatment goin
Name: Ah grand felin much better fingers crossed this time. if I could only give up these(waves smoke)
Me: Ah sure there is no point now (simply meaning if u enjoy the have them)
Mam: evil stares and nips the back of my arm


Cringe

TerrorFirmer

Mazroo your second one there just reminded me of one from when I was small.

I don't remember it, but according to my dad we were out one day when we met an elderly woman for some reason, I can't remember if it was a chance meeting, or whatever, but basically she called me an adorable lad, asked what age I was, the usual.

I asked her what age she was, and she said "82", and my reply? "God you'll be dead soon so!"

So cringingly embarrassing, imagine how the poor lady felt!

The Bollox

Smellyirishman wrote:

In mass, my sister and I both occasionally said "Thanks" after recieving communion.

I would say that a lot aswell

probably my dumbest moment was asking someone if Long Beach was in L.A. or in California

r3nu4l

Marts wrote:

I would say that a lot aswell

probably my dumbest moment was asking someone if Long Beach was in L.A. or in California

I mentioned to a friend of mine from Co. Monaghon:

Me: I'm going to Limerick to visit a friend at the weekend.
Her: Oh I love Tipperary.
Me: No not Tipp, Co. Limerick
Her: Don't be stupid, Limerick's not a county, it's a city in Co. Tipperary!
Me: No, it's a county!
Her: Oh!...Stunned silence

Also one from me:

When I was 19 I was on my way in the door of a bar in town (Dublin city centre for the bikos) and a bouncer stops me and says "How old are you son?". I was thinking Do I look 16? and as a result I said "Sixteen! I mean nineteen". Needless to say he didn't believe me and I didn't get in :rolleyes:

mazroo

HavoK wrote:

Mazroo your second one there just reminded me of one from when I was small.

I don't remember it, but according to my dad we were out one day when we met an elderly woman for some reason, I can't remember if it was a chance meeting, or whatever, but basically she called me an adorable lad, asked what age I was, the usual.

I asked her what age she was, and she said "82", and my reply? "God you'll be dead soon so!"

So cringingly embarrassing, imagine how the poor lady felt!

Lol... gas. my aunt got new dentures and man they looked freakey.. was walkin through the center and this kid looks up an says.... the set of choppers on her.. (n a skanger accent)

I nearly exploded tryin to hold in my laugh

muppetkiller

A begger put out her hand and before she said anything I came out with "Sorry I've no Cheese"

robinph

sean_keevey wrote:

My Brother:::
"How many countries play in the Six Nations?"

4? Italy, France, Ireland, UK.;)

Tobias Greeshman

mukki wrote:

whats stupid about the aston martin question

You don't know much about cars do you?? :rolleyes:

I've done a load of small silly things, but I'm finding it hard to think of one that stands out here...

Oh well maybe this one:
When I was filling out my CAO form (back in the day ), there was a guy in my year who had the same name as me and I accidently put down his exam number on my CAO form. Went months without realizing it, until one of my friends pointed it out to me. The biggest OOOPS/Oh **** ensued...

mazroo

silas wrote:

You don't know much about cars do you?? :rolleyes:

I've done a load of small silly things, but I'm finding it hard to think of one that stands out here...

Oh well maybe this one:
When I was filling out my CAO form (back in the day ), there was a guy in my year who had the same name as me and I accidently put down his exam number on my CAO form. Went months without realizing it, until one of my friends pointed it out to me. The biggest OOOPS/Oh **** ensued...

ur just not as slow as us...lol

samo

TheGooner wrote:

This morning in front of a whole office of colleagues I answered the phone stating that it was the old comapny I worked for....everyone was like :eek: :eek:

Incase you didn't get that I said: "Good morning, (insert old company name here), Gooner speaking" Oh my god the shame!!!! I wouldn't mind but I have been here over a year now.

I've done that in previous jobs many a time! I used to work for various different travel agencies and often answered with the name of the previous travel agents just to add to the confusion but would be laughing so hard couldne even tell them where they'd actually rang!!

Also guilty of Kiera's one about blessing yourself going past
what you assume to be a church, only in my case its always past the last house I lived in

Have to say this thread is very funny, gave me a good laugh today!

Lust4Life

Hubby was reading a book one time about the great scholars and asked
"Good book, but I can't figure out who is this Euripides (He pronounced it Europe - pide's) guy? He was so cool!"
I said "You mean Euripides?" (pronouncing it correctly)
He smacked his forehead "Doh!"

L4L

Pompey Magnus

I don't remember this but have been told about how when I was very young (3 or 4) I had a great memory, could memorise my little kids books and different songs off by heart but once we were travelling up North and got stopped at a British Army checkpoint. I saw the soldiers walking up to the car and decided to burst into a rousing rendition of "The Men Behind the Wire", my parents tried in vain to shut me up but there was no stopping me, apparently the soldier saw the funny side of it and we got out in one piece.

Beetlebum

The dumbest thing I've done is so goddamn dumb it's almost unbelievable...and yet believable....

My hair is blonde (there may be a connection here) but I was just after coming from the hairdressers where I'd had it dyed brown. I went into a cafe and was walking up the stairs when this girl steps in my way. She looked vaguely familiar to me so I smiled at her, she smiled back. I stepped to the right but so did she so I stepped to the left and so did she. It suddenly dawned on me why she was copying my every move. There was a mirror at the top of the stairs!! It was my own reflection:eek:

I laughed all the way home that day, what a muppet!!

_feedback_

i was away in england this weekend and was supervising a group of younger people.. we found some drink anyway that wasn't supposed to be there. The guy in charge of the group gave a big lecture saying that we would be checking everyone coming in that night, and tasting everything in bottles..

what he said went something like "if we find drink in any bottle, that bottle is in serious trouble"

in a real serious situation, it was diffucult to keep in the laughter.

r3nu4l

Just remembered this one:

I used to be a scout leader. We were camping one weekend in Wicklow when I noticed some of the scouts acting suspiciously and sneaking off. So I told one of the other leaders and we followed them. We assumed they had some cans of beer or cider. When they stopped I approached them and said "hand over the drink lads!" to which one of the scouts replied,

"We haven't got any drink just this hash, honest!"
The look on the other guys faces was priceless.

I also remember being on a bus and my friend and I were chatting away, approaching the bus stop, he gets up and goes downstairs still chatting away to me but in the meantime I realised I had left my earphones behind me and went back to get them. So he's downstairs on his own standing near the driver still talking to nobody, thinking I'm behind him until some old woman touched his arm and said to him consolingly "Are y'alright son?':D

chamlis

Beetlebum wrote:

The dumbest thing I've done is so goddamn dumb it's almost unbelievable...and yet believable....

My hair is blonde (there may be a connection here) but I was just after coming from the hairdressers where I'd had it dyed brown. I went into a cafe and was walking up the stairs when this girl steps in my way. She looked vaguely familiar to me so I smiled at her, she smiled back. I stepped to the right but so did she so I stepped to the left and so did she. It suddenly dawned on me why she was copying my every move. There was a mirror at the top of the stairs!! It was my own reflection:eek:

I laughed all the way home that day, what a muppet!!

Oh. My. God. :eek:

I often say thank you to inanimate objects like the fridge or the car door. But I was once caught having a full blown rhetorical conversation with my dog. And I don't mean the "Who's a good booooy? Yes, yes you!" kind....

Sleipnir

chamlis wrote:

I was once caught having a full blown rhetorical conversation with my dog

Rhetorical eh....? As opposed to the conversations where he talks back?

Dunno how many times I called a teacher "mum" in school...
Come on, who else did this when they were younger?

Sleipnir

Oh, I also say "bye-bye" sometimes to work collegues and vendors like you would to a toddler. (i have 2 kids)
"Thanks for meeting with me today"
"No problem at all. BYE, BYE!"

All but the little finger wave...

Smellyirishman

Yeah, done the teacher = mam one a few times, or the organism = orgasm will reading out some piece in class.

fintan

Standing at traffic lights
Wedding bus drives by
G'Friend turns to me and says
"Who would want to get married on a bus"!?!?!?!?!?

Fintan laughs all the way home

hullaballoo

Sleipnir wrote:

Rhetorical eh....? As opposed to the conversations where he talks back?

Dunno how many times I called a teacher "mum" in school...
Come on, who else did this when they were younger?

I can go one better. I had this crotchety ould so-and-so for a teacher in Senior Infants and she'd call the roll every morning, as you do.

The usual response was, "anseo".

One morning I responded with, "I love you very much". As you do.

the Shades

I was working in a jewellers a few years ago and was putting some boxes away. While crouching down at the cabinet I was singing Come Fly With Me to myself merrily ignoring everything around me. I stood up, turned around and saw Michael O Leary standing there beside me.

padi89

Kiera wrote:

I’m always at it. I constantly ask the bus driver for 20 silk cut blue. Bless myself when passing a petrol station; I’m not religious so have no idea why I do this. A few weeks ago, I thanked the can dispenser for my can of Fanta in the middle of a take away.

i dont know how many times i have said"thanks" to the ATM machine???:o

d-redser

padi89 wrote:

i dont know how many times i have said"thanks" to the ATM machine???:o

I do this too but I am usually over the moon when it doesnt say "insufficient funds"