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i have a really bib problem ,help me please?

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Comments

  • #52
    Oeneus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,975 ✭✭✭Oeneus


    Well I wouldn't be interested in a girl unless I really liked them


  • #53
    stormkeeper
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,633 ✭✭✭stormkeeper


    I actually have a similar situation to the guy who started this post, although the only difference is that the girl I like has a boyfriend. :( Even worse is the fact that I know what the response would be (i kind of heard it before a good few months back), and yet I still feel this way about her.

    Anyway, as everyone else says... Tell her. (That's what everyone else says to me, although I can't at the moment, but that's me...) Think of it this way... This girl you like is single, so you should feel less nervous about it. You never know, she could feel the same way and might be shy about it too...

    Usually, our fear of the unknown prevents us from doing things that may turn out well.... Sometimes it's best to bite the bullet and go for it!

    A good question to ask (which one of my friends said to me) was:

    <Shroom> tell her that you value your relationship more than anything, and you want to know if she'll consider taking it to the next level, and if not you hope you can keep things the way they are.

    I'd ask that question myself, but the bf has me on edge and Ialready know what she'd say... Or is that my fear of the unknown?

    Anyway, good luck and I hope things work out for you :)


  • #54
    Oeneus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,975 ✭✭✭Oeneus


    In the case of a girl already having a boyfriend, stay away!

    I mean a friend of mine has a bloody nice girlfriend who I'd quite fancy, but at the end of the day, everyone in the whole school probably fancies her, and some girls would hate her because all the dudes like her.


  • #55
    stormkeeper
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,633 ✭✭✭stormkeeper


    Trust me, it's very hard to supress these feelings (but I just about manage) when you see her at work all the time (as in at least once a week, sometimes twice or 3 times) and a few people say I should try to get into a relationship with her...

    I kind of feel a bit nervous when she is nearby (probably coz I'm afraid I'd say something about how I feel about her, to her) but I can hold up a normal conversation with her. On a side-note... I felt this way around some other girls, but more so*. Also, my feelings for her seemed to gradually come into play... When I first saw her, I actually didn't think twice about her, but after I invited her to my debs (in October of last year), it seemed to go uphill from there (in terms of feelings for her)... Until I'm in my current position, which is kind of frustrating, as I want to tell her how I feel, but feel it's best to wait until the right time...

    *Edit: I got over those though, this one seems different


  • #56
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I think one of the main problems with the asking a good mate situation is that in a lot of cases girls don't want a relationship that is serious from the get go and thats what you get when you start going out with a good friend.

    When you start with the "I really like you but I don't want to risk the friendship but I can't help it" you're heading into serious Dawsons Creek territory and the last time I checked nobody liked Dawsons Creek. To put it simply you haven't earned the right to talk to this girl like this cos you haven't snogged her or held her hand or done all the groundwork that normally goes in before you hit the dreaded Creek. And they simply won't like it.

    It's difficult but you really need to find a way to make your come on as casual as possible, this makes you both easier to reject without ruining the friendship and also perveresly easier to accept. With going into that Creek too early.

    Now in making it casual I don't know what route you should take the drunken pass is traditional but also sleazy. Maybe you should just try and spend lots of time with her alone, go to cinema, have coffee, go for drink, walk etc she'll get the message (they're a lot better at this stuff than we are) and maybe something will happen.

    What I'm basically trying to say is (and I'm not trying to be harsh or an asshole) don't be needy. Needy people are not attractive. Girls don't want you to be needy until at least a few months into the relationship and then your problem will be that you're not needy enough.

    Good luck amigo! And remember the people who give you advice are all just assholes who were there once and probably messed it up worse than you think you will.


  • #57
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    you should tell her soon , i didnt im still alone , shes not , go for it ,you never know when your time will run out .


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