i have a really bib problem ,help me please?

JustHalf · 02-05-2002 6:22pm

I'm going to make this very simple.

One day, just look into her eyes, and lock. Don't let your shyness stop you. Maintain that lock as long as possible. It helps to smile, warmly.

This is also good for letting people know you want them dead. In this instance, smile in a very messed up manner.

She'll probably ask "What is it?". Next, smile some more and tell her how you feel.

And be honest. Dishonesty on these things (or not telling them at all) can make friendships fall apart. It's happened to me. It's not nice.

Mills · 02-05-2002 11:19pm

Ah good advice Justhalf, I'd forgotten all about that. When I was in a similar situation we stared into each others eyes for a good minute without saying anything before I came out with it, I'd decided to make eye contact like that and see how she reacted before deciding what to do. A drink or two for both of us beforehand did help a bit. Things worked out good for me in the (very) short term but then she changed her mind soon after and decided she'd rather just be friends, by that stage I'd come to a similar way of thinking......I'm glad it happened though because I'd probably still be wondering now if it didn't, and there's no strangeness between us at all now.

Hobbes · 03-05-2002 10:32am

Originally posted by JustHalf
I'm going to make this very simple.

One day, just look into her eyes, and lock. Don't let your shyness stop you. Maintain that lock as long as possible. It helps to smile, warmly.

This is also good for letting people know you want them dead. In this instance, smile in a very messed up manner.

What happens if she does it to you? Does it mean she loves you or she wants you dead?

EvilGeorge · 03-05-2002 11:00am

So why hasn't she asked you out ?

Kraken · 03-05-2002 11:39am

maybe she is like he unsure about the others feelings. and to shy to try anything.

VisHnU · 03-05-2002 11:41am

Isn't a bib problem something two year olds have ?

LegacyUser · 03-05-2002 11:46am

i think evil george is right ,why hasnt she asked me .i feel there is already an awkwardness now , because i think she suspects and the fact that she has not commented makes it worse .

JustHalf · 03-05-2002 11:51am

Originally posted by Hobbes
What happens if she does it to you? Does it mean she loves you or she wants you dead?

Well, you've got to watch the smiling.

EvilGeorge · 03-05-2002 2:11pm

Mr. Unregistered, I'm only taking the mick - most women expect men to do the asking, it rarely happens the other way arround - this happend to me once and I didn't ask I found out later she was waiting - so ignore my comment I just wanted to see the reaction and ask her.

Mercury_Tilt · 03-05-2002 3:49pm

This post has been deleted.

The Corinthian · 03-05-2002 4:24pm

Originally posted by Mercury_Tilt
Stop buying loaded. stuff and what pc.
Invest in Cosmo, elle "B" and all those other womens mags.

A+ for effort. F- for effectiveness.

Women no more take the articles in Cosmo seriously, than we do articles in Loaded.

Mercury_Tilt · 03-05-2002 5:13pm

This post has been deleted.

Oeneus · 03-05-2002 7:17pm

What if your not exactly the best looking dude in the world and you reckon the chances of a girl liking you are slim?:)

azezil · 03-05-2002 7:23pm

Originally posted by Oeneus
What if your not exactly the best looking dude in the world and you reckon the chances of a girl liking you are slim?:)

there is someone for everone. I'm convinced of that, i've seen some freakin sideshow like material go off with women.

Oeneus · 03-05-2002 7:28pm

It's really easy for you to tell someone to just go for it.
But it is incredibly hard for some people (like me).
I mean, it's so hard it just never gets done, if you know what I mean.

azezil · 03-05-2002 7:49pm

You're right it is

I don't know what to say in this instance, when it comes down to it its on the person to follow their gut instint, suck it up, the worst that they can say is no.

Oeneus · 03-05-2002 7:55pm

Yes, but that "no" can be the most horrible feeling ever!
Especially if she has been a friend.
It can be painful, embarrassing, it can make you feel really stupid and you might fear to ever speak to them again.

azezil · 03-05-2002 8:02pm

Originally posted by Oeneus
Yes, but that "no" can be the most horrible feeling ever!
Especially if she has been a friend.
It can be painful, embarrassing, it can make you feel really stupid and you might fear to ever speak to them again.

My god you're right, never take chance, that way you'll never be hurt... oh that way you'll never meet anyone either

look we all get hurt from time to time, its a fact of life. Just cause one, two, 50! women say no doesn't mean they're all going to say no... you gotta keep going and if all else fails gettem drunk

Oeneus · 03-05-2002 8:20pm

If it was any old bird, maybe.

But we're talking about girls that you have been friends with for many years and don't want to risk that friendship for.

It's a matter of deciding whether it's worth risking the friendship for!

azezil · 03-05-2002 8:27pm

oh rite i though you were say you could get women in general

Oeneus · 03-05-2002 8:35pm

Well I wouldn't be interested in a girl unless I really liked them

stormkeeper · 03-05-2002 11:36pm

I actually have a similar situation to the guy who started this post, although the only difference is that the girl I like has a boyfriend.

Even worse is the fact that I know what the response would be (i kind of heard it before a good few months back), and yet I still feel this way about her.

Anyway, as everyone else says... Tell her. (That's what everyone else says to me, although I can't at the moment, but that's me...) Think of it this way... This girl you like is single, so you should feel less nervous about it. You never know, she could feel the same way and might be shy about it too...

Usually, our fear of the unknown prevents us from doing things that may turn out well.... Sometimes it's best to bite the bullet and go for it!

A good question to ask (which one of my friends said to me) was:

<Shroom> tell her that you value your relationship more than anything, and you want to know if she'll consider taking it to the next level, and if not you hope you can keep things the way they are.

I'd ask that question myself, but the bf has me on edge and Ialready know what she'd say... Or is that my fear of the unknown?

Anyway, good luck and I hope things work out for you

Oeneus · 04-05-2002 4:28pm

In the case of a girl already having a boyfriend, stay away!

I mean a friend of mine has a bloody nice girlfriend who I'd quite fancy, but at the end of the day, everyone in the whole school probably fancies her, and some girls would hate her because all the dudes like her.

stormkeeper · 04-05-2002 9:22pm

Trust me, it's very hard to supress these feelings (but I just about manage) when you see her at work all the time (as in at least once a week, sometimes twice or 3 times) and a few people say I should try to get into a relationship with her...

I kind of feel a bit nervous when she is nearby (probably coz I'm afraid I'd say something about how I feel about her, to her) but I can hold up a normal conversation with her. On a side-note... I felt this way around some other girls, but more so*. Also, my feelings for her seemed to gradually come into play... When I first saw her, I actually didn't think twice about her, but after I invited her to my debs (in October of last year), it seemed to go uphill from there (in terms of feelings for her)... Until I'm in my current position, which is kind of frustrating, as I want to tell her how I feel, but feel it's best to wait until the right time...

*Edit: I got over those though, this one seems different

LegacyUser · 05-05-2002 12:17am

I think one of the main problems with the asking a good mate situation is that in a lot of cases girls don't want a relationship that is serious from the get go and thats what you get when you start going out with a good friend.

When you start with the "I really like you but I don't want to risk the friendship but I can't help it" you're heading into serious Dawsons Creek territory and the last time I checked nobody liked Dawsons Creek. To put it simply you haven't earned the right to talk to this girl like this cos you haven't snogged her or held her hand or done all the groundwork that normally goes in before you hit the dreaded Creek. And they simply won't like it.

It's difficult but you really need to find a way to make your come on as casual as possible, this makes you both easier to reject without ruining the friendship and also perveresly easier to accept. With going into that Creek too early.

Now in making it casual I don't know what route you should take the drunken pass is traditional but also sleazy. Maybe you should just try and spend lots of time with her alone, go to cinema, have coffee, go for drink, walk etc she'll get the message (they're a lot better at this stuff than we are) and maybe something will happen.

What I'm basically trying to say is (and I'm not trying to be harsh or an asshole) don't be needy. Needy people are not attractive. Girls don't want you to be needy until at least a few months into the relationship and then your problem will be that you're not needy enough.

Good luck amigo! And remember the people who give you advice are all just assholes who were there once and probably messed it up worse than you think you will.

LegacyUser · 13-05-2002 5:31pm

you should tell her soon , i didnt im still alone , shes not , go for it ,you never know when your time will run out .

i have a really bib problem ,help me please?

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