All the lies that they told us

SexeeAussie · 26-10-2005 10:25AM

Oh the seed thing was big here too!!

I was told that the apple tree would grow out my ears if I ate the seeds...
That my nose would grow like Pinnochio if I told fibs (or I'd get my mouth washed out with soap...It only ever happened once, I spewed all over the floor!!!! Ewwwwwwwwww)

I was told that if I dug holes in the backyard I would end up in China (Chinese people scared me when I was little!)

I was told that if I drew on my arm in pen I would die of ink poisoning.

And all those starving kids in Africa that I ate all my food on my plate for ( turned me into a bulimic!!!!!!!!!)

LMAO

Pompey Magnus · 26-10-2005 10:44AM

SexeeAussie wrote:

I was told that if I dug holes in the backyard I would end up in China (Chinese people scared me when I was little!)

Me too, except I was told I'd end up in Australia, so you might have got lucky and missed China and finished up in Ireland instead

.

ciaran76 · 26-10-2005 11:10AM

Not sure if this was just us but my Mam used to say that a man with a "black bag" would take us away if we went into the park at night !!!!

If we ever saw a man with a black bag we used to ask our Mam is that him !!!

I suppose it was her way of telling us there was perverts in the park

SexeeAussie · 26-10-2005 11:12AM

Depeche_Mode wrote:

Me too, except I was told I'd end up in Australia, so you might have got lucky and missed China and finished up in Ireland instead .

Do you think if I get a big enough shovel it would work now as an adult?

lol:o

stormkeeper · 26-10-2005 11:23AM

SexeeAussie wrote:

Do you think if I get a big enough shovel it would work now as an adult?

lol:o

If you dig holes at the rate I dig myself holes when in trouble with people, then I don't see why not :P

Pompey Magnus · 26-10-2005 11:24AM

SexeeAussie wrote:

Do you think if I get a big enough shovel it would work now as an adult?

lol:o

There's only one way of finding out so I'll meet you half way...now I can't say fairer than that.

deedee lepoopoo · 26-10-2005 11:26AM

Well it made me stop picking my nose as a chisler - my mam told me that snots are dead worms and flies :eek:

Oh yeah, the more you get your hair cut the faster (and therefore longer) it grows. I looked like a little boy until I was 12 with a crooked bowlo haircut. oh, the trauma!

SexeeAussie · 26-10-2005 11:34AM

Depeche_Mode wrote:

There's only one way of finding out so I'll meet you half way...now I can't say fairer than that.

Sounds reasonable....but with the time difference one of us is going to have to start in the dark....

Shall we do rock, paper, scissors to sort that out????

Dimitri · 26-10-2005 11:42AM

SexeeAussie wrote:

Sounds reasonable....but with the time difference one of us is going to have to start in the dark....

Shall we do rock, paper, scissors to sort that out????

Heard on the radio somone won the world championships in rock paper scissors held in canada last night!

Ya i had threats of the boarding school aswell!

keevita · 26-10-2005 11:59AM

joejoem wrote:

Once that they had to pay santa (is leave money out for him) for the toys so they couldnt afford a bike for me that year.

That they swapped a fridge for me with a man they met one day and thats how I arrived in the family.

Those are the two I remember most

haha, did u come in a fridge box?? i went thru a vegitarian phase when i was about 5 or 6, so mom told me sausages grew on trees!

joejoem · 26-10-2005 12:05PM

keevita wrote:

haha, did u come in a fridge box?? i went thru a vegitarian phase when i was about 5 or 6, so mom told me sausages grew on trees!

No, They told me the man didnt want me but needed a fridge. It was a joke that was a little ott. Apperantly I pretended not to belive them but later when I was on the back carrier of my mothers bike I asked her if it was true. I think I actually remember that moment.

mr.sparkle · 26-10-2005 12:07PM

@pighead.

Why worry? Who cares? Why post this topic?

I seen people on here get insulted over far less stupid posts?
Plus I think everyone should just not reply to your topics if they are in third person! Thats a bit unusual. Why do you do that?

Pighead · 26-10-2005 04:40PM

mr.sparkle wrote:

@pighead.

Why worry? Who cares? Why post this topic?

I seen people on here get insulted over far less stupid posts?
Plus I think everyone should just not reply to your topics if they are in third person! Thats a bit unusual. Why do you do that?

@mr.sparkle
Why worry? Pigheads life is grand at the moment,everthings rosie.This means that the trivial things in life take on more importance.
Who cares? Nobody.
Why post this topic? Passed a few hours at work
Now your turn
Why were u arsed posting your silly billy post?
Why don't you press ignore Pighead button.
Why don't you start a fantastic thread to get the good folk of boards juices running.
Pighead will be watching your future posts with the utmost interest.As Mary Decker Slaney said back in 84,I may forgive you for that horrible post but I shall never forget.

Cormic · 26-10-2005 04:55PM

When I was about 5 my mother told me that Ice Cream was made with Seaweed. I was not really bothered.

Scraggs · 26-10-2005 06:44PM

My dad used to tell me that they 'got' me and my sister in an orphange in limerick [they used to point out an old building i think might have been the library]. They thought we were boys because we were so dirty and wore rags and looked like the boys in Oliver Twist they gave me a boys name 'Dan'. Then of course when they brought us home and washed us, dressed us in new clothes etc. etc. they realised we were actually girls!
I was traumatised at this story [still kinda am] occasionally he'd threaten with sending us back if we were bold coz they were able to get a refund and get a pair of nice well behaved boys! [by the way I only used to believe it coz i'd heard all the stories from aunties that my parents were expecting a boy docs said so etc.and then i turned out to be a girl!]

I was also told the digging thing endin up in austrailia...i think they were just usin us as cheap manual labourers!

I was always told that if u lied a black line would be on your tongue and you couldnt see it coz you were the liar but everybody else could.

Oh yes and the classic...the guards will get ya if you're bold [actually once my uncle said the IRA would get me lol!!]

netwhizkid · 26-10-2005 06:52PM

I was told that I was brought to earth by helicopter and for years i tried to flag down passing choppers for a brother (I don't have one), Then when i was ten i discovered my sister's first year science book and learned about human anatomy:rolleyes: Helicopters

Piste · 26-10-2005 08:54PM

Jebus, you all have horrible parents!

Everytime we would drive past the hospital in which I was born my dad would say that once I turned 10 he couldn't return me to the Hospital.

He also told me he had a magic book that could change form into any other book and was always running away on him and I was afraid that a book I gave to my cousin for her birthday was my dad's Magic book.

He also told me that red food dye was bats' blood.

Incidently I spent many a happy hour out in the garded making 'potions' with rainwater, vinegar and ''bats' blood''

*sigh* I miss being five...

Pighead · 26-10-2005 10:52PM

My mother used to tell me that if i didnt let her buy my christmas jumpers for me all the reindeers would die and christmas would be cancelled.

mr.sparkle · 26-10-2005 10:55PM

You can watch my sad posts if u want. ActuallY I never knew there was an ignore button I think i will use it on you pighead!

RainyDay · 26-10-2005 11:10PM

"If you ever hit your mother, when I die, my hand will stick up out of my grave and you'll have to hit, hit, hit it for ever to try to get it down"

tj-music.com · 26-10-2005 11:13PM

... but the biggest lie ever told to kids in Germany is that David Hasselhoof is a good singer. How brutal can people be :mad:

tSubh Dearg · 27-10-2005 12:50AM

Whenever we passed an abandoned glove or lone sock on the walk back from school, mum would tell myself and my sister that it was all that was left of some naughty child that had been eaten by The Enormous Crocodile and if we didn't behave that's all that would be left of us too!

We were quite well behaved children as a result.

homah_7ft · 27-10-2005 08:37AM

Cormic wrote:

When I was about 5 my mother told me that Ice Cream was made with Seaweed. I was not really bothered.

I don't know if I am missing sarcasm here but seaweed extract (agar) is used in icecream as a stabiliser.

All the lies that they told us

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