Wake up Pighead,I think we're being burgled.....

Pighead · 13-10-2005 08:57PM #1

I don't know about you but when I hear these words i generally freeze and pretend i'm in the deepest sleep mankind has ever known,thus leaving brave Miss Piggy to investigate.
Have any of you lovely boardsters ever been in that situation where you're in bed and you hear a noise downstairs? or perhaps it's about 1 in the morning and you're up watching tv and all of a sudden you get this nagging feeling that there's someone in the house with you?

What do you do?
Should you investigate?
Arm yourself with kitchenware in case someone is in the house?
Call The Guards (J Lennon (c))
Ring the ghostbusters.
Pighead tends to go for the chickenshiit option and cowers under his bedclothes but i'm sure thats not representative of the general boardsters feelings on the matter

johnny_ultimate · 13-10-2005 08:59PM

The song says it all:
Who you gonna call: Ghostbusters! Although if there is no ghost then youll just look foolish

WhiteWashMan · 13-10-2005 09:00PM

lock myself in the toilet and tell them to take what they want and then please just leave

Pighead · 13-10-2005 09:02PM

WhiteWashMan wrote:

lock myself in the toilet and tell them to take what they want and then please just leave

.I hear you!

RVN10 · 13-10-2005 09:04PM

go to my kitchen find the biggest knife cleaver and chase the b@$tard out the house

Karoma · 13-10-2005 09:05PM

Hammer Time!

MrJoeSoap · 13-10-2005 09:08PM

Karoma wrote:

Hammer Time!

Rofl!

Another question: How far would you go (in terms of beating them) if you caught them unawares. Its never happened me, and I'm usually quite scared when something like this happens. But I do have a feeling I'd go nuts and lose all control.

deisedevil · 13-10-2005 09:09PM

Get my baseball bat from under the bed and go have a look, never actually got burgled, pity, i'd luv ta clatter one of em,lol

Sparky · 13-10-2005 09:09PM

id say talk to the man pighead, he will then run off in dispair

Other than that at this time of year a banger to the penis should sort em out.

Pighead · 13-10-2005 09:12PM

The only possible way Pighead could help you out is to advise everybody to buy one of these bad boys
http://www.thinkgeek.com/cubegoodies/toys/71bc/

seamus · 13-10-2005 09:20PM

Half of these ***** are so out of their heads and pumped up, they wouldn't even feel any beating you gave them. You'd have to hope the first blow knocks them down or kills them because injuring them won't stop them.

If you must fight, the best option has to be knees. They're quite tough however, you'd want to give it some welly to drop them by hitting the knee.
Anyone into Martial arts will easily tell you the sensitive areas of the body, but unless you're practiced, you'll just end up makin your attacker angrier by just hurting them a little.

Your best option, if it's available, is to gather all of your family in one room, lock the door, call the Gardai and wait till they go away.

deisedevil · 13-10-2005 09:26PM

I dunno seamus, a good crack on thew noggin from a baseball bat wud do plenty of damage, no need for the kung fu experts, dey'll tell you themselves to run if a guy has a weapon. that guy had the right idea when he blew away that traveller that was trying to rob him if ya ask me. feckers tryin to rob old people are a disgrace!

Sparky · 13-10-2005 09:27PM

make them do that thing Mr nice guy posted earlier on

oh and a gun pointed at their head if they refuse.

For more tips watch the sopranos

Pighead · 13-10-2005 09:29PM

seamus wrote:

Anyone into Martial arts will easily tell you the sensitive areas of the body, but unless you're practiced, you'll just end up makin your attacker angrier by just hurting them a little.

Just out of interest where exactly are the sensitive areas.I can think of the groin and maybe the kidneys area but i'm wondering where else are the weak spots?

seamus · 13-10-2005 09:32PM

deisedevil wrote:

I dunno seamus, a good crack on thew noggin from a baseball bat wud do plenty of damage, no need for the kung fu experts, dey'll tell you themselves to run if a guy has a weapon. that guy had the right idea when he blew away that traveller that was trying to rob him if ya ask me. feckers tryin to rob old people are a disgrace!

You'd be surprised how difficult it is to kill a man. How do you expect to get the room to swing a baseball bat if he's standing in your hallway? For that matter, think how many places he could be standing in your home where you simply haven't got the room to swing your weapon with sufficient force. And you're left standing there looking at a big drugged-out knacker with a sore head. **** that.

danniemcq · 13-10-2005 09:43PM

i'd (try to) knock the sh*t outta him.

WhiteWashMan · 13-10-2005 09:43PM

well, the only problem is, ive heard far too many stories of people going at someone, having (insert instrument of doom here) taken from them and being beaten to death with it!

no, im a better safe than sorry person, and im a better 'being more scared shítless and hiding, than safer than sorrier' type person.

if you can unserstand that....

Sparky · 13-10-2005 09:45PM

Pighead wrote:

Just out of interest where exactly are the sensitive areas.I can think of the groin and maybe the kidneys area but i'm wondering where else are the weak spots?

the centre of the ribs is another pressure point, even forcing your thumb in this area right at the base of where the ribs meet in a sort of V.
I done it on a lad and he had pains there for 3 days.

Sparky · 13-10-2005 09:46PM

WhiteWashMan wrote:

well, the only problem is, ive heard far too many stories of people going at someone, having (insert instrument of doom here) taken from them and being beaten to death with it!

no, im a better safe than sorry person, and im a better 'being more scared shítless and hiding, than safer than sorrier' type person.

if you can unserstand that....

well i suppose you could use the old favourite.
Judge he slipped on a bar of soap and fell against the phone table.

/must remember to leave bar of wet soap trail at door

WhiteWashMan · 13-10-2005 09:55PM

Sparky_S wrote:

the centre of the ribs is another pressure point, even forcing your thumb in this area right at the base of where the ribs meet in a sort of V.
I done it on a lad and he had pains there for 3 days.

i can just see it...

'excuse me pr burgler that may be high on some sort of crack-cocaine substance, mind standing there for a second and not beating my head in with that there piece of metal youare weilding, i want to find a pressure point thats just wround the ribs somewhere. someone on teh interweb told me about it. it was on boards.ie'

'oh, im on boards.ie'

'really, im wwman on boards'

'right, youre really fúcking for it now you wánker, you banned me for personal abuse and never unbanned me until i complained bitterly on the feedback forum, at which point i was a twat.....'

etc etc etc

yes indeed, it could all go terribly wrong.

'please, take everything, including the 5 cats, and fúck off'

deisedevil · 13-10-2005 09:55PM

seamus wrote:

You'd be surprised how difficult it is to kill a man. How do you expect to get the room to swing a baseball bat if he's standing in your hallway? For that matter, think how many places he could be standing in your home where you simply haven't got the room to swing your weapon with sufficient force. And you're left standing there looking at a big drugged-out knacker with a sore head. **** that.

Cause i wouldn't swing it like i'm looking for a home run, more like chopping wood,lol. and ya i have high ceilings

Sparky · 13-10-2005 10:02PM

WhiteWashMan wrote:

i can just see it...

'excuse me pr burgler that may be high on some sort of crack-cocaine substance, mind standing there for a second and not beating my head in with that there piece of metal youare weilding, i want to find a pressure point thats just wround the ribs somewhere. someone on teh interweb told me about it. it was on boards.ie'

'oh, im on boards.ie'

'really, im wwman on boards'

'right, youre really fúcking for it now you wánker, you banned me for personal abuse and never unbanned me until i complained bitterly on the feedback forum, at which point i was a twat.....'

etc etc etc

yes indeed, it could all go terribly wrong.

'please, take everything, including the 5 cats, and fúck off'

yeah your right too many things can go wrong, so ill have to plug him into the mains then.
A bit of shock treatment.

Pighead · 13-10-2005 10:25PM

The law currently allows people to use ‘reasonable force’ against burglars. This means they can already lawfully attack or even kill them — provided they have good reason to fear that their own lives or safety are in danger.

Pigheads enormously confused by the case of Tony Martin, the farmer whose conviction for killing a burglar sparked a national outcry. Martin lay in wait for an intruder whom he then shot in the back. That was considered to be not legitimate self-defence but the result of a premeditated intention to kill

Pighead reckons, given the chance every lad would cower beneath his superman duvet and wait til the burglar/noise went away.90% of the reason the tough guys go down with their hammers is to show their other halves that they are indeed alpha males and will serve and protect for all time.Its all about saving face

AARRRGH · 13-10-2005 10:27PM

Pighead wrote:

The only possible way Pighead could help you out is to advise everybody to buy one of these bad boys
http://www.thinkgeek.com/cubegoodies/toys/71bc/

haha class!! i'd love to modify it slightly but i'd be afraid of setting it off everytime i tried to turn it off...

nlgbbbblth · 13-10-2005 11:01PM

WhiteWashMan wrote:

well, the only problem is, ive heard far too many stories of people going at someone, having (insert instrument of doom here) taken from them and being beaten to death with it!

yes but I've also stories of

i) People overpowering burglars with weapons
ii) People killing burglars with weapons

Just because you decide to take on a burglar doesn't mean that you'll lose the fight and die.

WhiteWashMan · 13-10-2005 11:12PM

nlgbbbblth wrote:

yes but I've also stories of

i) People overpowering burglars with weapons
ii) People killing burglars with weapons

Just because you decide to take on a burglar doesn't mean that you'll lose the fight and die.

so lets say theres a 50% chance you over power the guy and win.

youd give yourself a 50% chance of dying.....?

crikey, bit of a death wish there. why not just go and stand on the m50 and wait for the cars?

irlrobins · 13-10-2005 11:25PM

hold on a sec, here........

your missus calls you Pighead too???

Ajnag · 14-10-2005 12:04AM

now yer sorry you didnt buy that chainsaw on impulse, arent ya!

Sparky · 14-10-2005 12:31AM

irlrobins wrote:

hold on a sec, here........

your missus calls you Pighead too???

theres something wrong in that marrage

nesf · 14-10-2005 12:37AM

seamus wrote:

You'd be surprised how difficult it is to kill a man. How do you expect to get the room to swing a baseball bat if he's standing in your hallway? For that matter, think how many places he could be standing in your home where you simply haven't got the room to swing your weapon with sufficient force. And you're left standing there looking at a big drugged-out knacker with a sore head. **** that.

I couldn't agree more, nothing more dangerous than a person with a little skill who think they know what they are doing.

I saw a guy try to take a knife off someone once using a "basic" karate move. He ended up misjudging it and cutting his hand of the blade (as in he didn't figure the guy would move the knife).

Thankfully for him, the guy with the knife was jumped on by three bouncers and taken care of. Otherwise he was ****ed. If he had just run while he had the chance he'd have been 100 times better off.

Lump · 14-10-2005 12:42AM

By the way, you can be prosecuted if you injure some one even if they are breaking into your house.

Regards to what Seamus said, I totally agree with the "Out of their heads wouldn't feel a beating" sentiment. I learned that when I was a bouncer in Carlisle (Lots of Morphine and Tranquiliser druggys there)

Anyway, after knocking this guy flat on the ground for the 12th time, him with his nose in shít, I decided I better call the police, the fúcker kept getting up cause he couldn't feel a thing. I was getting tired FFS

John

Wake up Pighead,I think we're being burgled.....

I think we're being burgled Pighead! 91 votes

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