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I kinda miss being on the phones....

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Comments

  • #32
    Paladin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,313 ✭✭✭Paladin


    A guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.
    Tech: What's the problem?
    User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
    Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
    User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
    Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
    User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup
    files and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the
    command.
    Ten minutes later, the User is still adamant that they are right. The tech
    is frustrated and fed up.
    Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is
    an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
    User: I knew it!
    Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let
    me know how it goes.
    Ten minutes later.
    User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
    Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
    User: MS-DOS 6.22.
    Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with
    NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the
    file. Let me know how it goes.
    One hour later.
    User: I need a new power supply.
    Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
    User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
    started asking questions about the make of power supply.
    Tech: Then what did he say?
    User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.


  • #33
    Hobbes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,264 ✭✭✭✭Hobbes


    Originally posted by Paladin:
    Heh.
    Boot some newbie up in DOS only and watch em tremble.

    forget newbies, try it on some of the people collages are throwing out. I know someone who spends 2 hours doing manually what a couple of DOS commands would automate it for him to do nothing, just fear is stopping him.

    In other news, I get called around to an irate person in work today saying they can't access thier external SCSI drive. After asking "have you done this... etc" and being told over and over they checked everything over and over, they failed to mention that they plugged the output lead of the drive into the other SCSI port instead of the frickin PC. WTF was it supposed to do? telepathy with the disk?


  • #34
    Vorosha
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,039 ✭✭✭Vorosha


    Whoever wrote that first thing that Amp posted is, agh, I dunno. Whatever way it's writen it's highly annoying. I dunno what it is about it... irratated me. Anyone else find this? The stories were fine but for some reason... whatever way... anyone?


  • #35
    deRanged
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,744 ✭✭✭deRanged


    was teaching pascal to some arts students once. they'd written a program to access a file from disk. this girly called me over to debug her prog for her. it couldn't read the file from the disk. I looked at the prog and couldn't see any errors. spent ages looking at it and got no further. asked the girl if she was sure the file was on her disk. she was. eventually I asked to see the disk the file was on. she opened up her bag and took it out .....


  • #36
    Illkillya
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,372 ✭✭✭Illkillya


    I found loads of these printed out on the comp table, but couldn't find corresponding text file, so i had to type out some of the good ones:

    An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the techician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response: "I pushed and pushed on the foot pedal and nothing happens." The foot pedal turned out to be the mouse.


    Caller: "Hello, is this tech support?"
    Tech: "Yes it is. How may I help you?"
    Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
    Tech: "I'm sorry, did you say cup holder?
    Caller: "Yes, its attached to the front of my computer."
    Tech: "Please excuse me if i seem a bit stumped, its because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
    Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."

    Customer: "So that will get me connected to the Internet, right?"
    Tech Support: "Yeah."
    Customer: "And thats the latest version of the Internet, right?"
    Tech Support: "Uhh...uh...uh...yeah."

    Customer: "I'd like a mousemat please"
    Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety."
    Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"


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  • #37
    Wyverne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 890 ✭✭✭Wyverne


    smile.gif


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