Marriage:A neccesary evil?

"Love and marriage, love and marriage,
Goes together like a horse and carriage"

A fair point, no? A marriage won't work without love, as a carriage won't work without a horse - but isn't the horse more happy, free and natural without the artificiality of the carriage tying it down?

Having said that, I would still like to get married, just not for years and years

ive noticed that *some* single people seem to view married couples as some sort of threat to their way of life.
i have several friends, who will tell me how great their single life is and how they arent shackled down, and how they can go out and shag anyone they want etc etc etc.

im married. im not shackled down. i can do what i want, as can my wife.
i can go out and drink to 5am if i want. believe it or not, getting married does not mean you have to be in bed by 10. in fact, on saturday night, i was drinking yards of ale (actually, purple nastie), racing bottles of wkd, and running about half nakid.
i dont want to shag anyone. i think most people will agree that making love to your partner is far more reqarding and satisfying than a series of one night stands.
of course, being single does not mean you will automatically score.
in fact, i think what they say is 'they could go out and shag someone every night'
the truth is, that going out and getting someone every night, is quite difficult, and most people i know would have trouble getting one woman a month!

i think that many single people see marriage as some sort of prison sentence, where you cannot do anything, where 'her indoors' rules the roost and that you will have a life of early nights, no fun and and no drinking.

entirely wrong. being married to the wrong person will do that. in fact, have a girl\boyfriend like that will do it.
marriage is a state of mind. its about what you make it. dont make the mistake of thinking its all the bad things that programs like the simpsons and married with children present.
it 'can' be like that. and then again 'it can be like friday the 13th!

i just dont understand why so many people get so hot under the collar about it.

me, i love being married. its the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Le Rack wrote:

eh, used to entirely detest the idea of waking up next to the same person everyday for the rest of my life, but in the past year I wandered down a new path and started finding guys who I actually really like and who if it came to it I would be delighted to spend the rest of my life with them... very rare cases but they happened!

That's called desperation, it happens to all women when they are left on the shelf for a while, it's a genetic imperative for them to settle with a provider and have kids.

WWM: Although you can certainly stay out and do your own thing, would you not agree that you cannot always do it as much as you want, or 'her indoors' starts feeling a little neglected and pissed off?

Also, I bet you told your other half where you were, what you were doing and who were were with before hand or at some stage throughout the night. The thing is, you lose spontaneity and the ability to be completely free when you have to take another person's feelings into consideration all the time. The two just don't always go together. So, no marriage for me!

Le Rack wrote:

no, desperation is what you did darling!

You mean the paranormal thing? Ah, it was a joke in fairness Rack, I just thought we were getting on so well in that thread, that in the interests of sarcasm I would say that. Come now, I don't even know what you look like my dear.
:rolleyes:

Kernel is very selective, that's why I'm not married!

Pighead wrote:

White Wash Man I have a feeling you are one of the lucky ones.You're story gives hope to the marriage bashers and its a joy to read of your yard of ale drinking activities.I heard rumours of married men attempting the yard of ale feat before but never believed it.
Just being married doesn't affect your social life, ability to ....... . But having kids does. Although to offset that when you're having a deadly time with the kids staggering around Camden Street doesn't seem that appealing.
As you can see i'm quite undecided on the matter

kids will certainly do it, but i think if you have kids, you should already be prepared to understand that with children comes commitment, and that means looking after them.
after all, any idiot can be a parent, but it takes someone special to be a dad or a mum. although, who is to say that all those kids on camden street came about due to marriage. i think its old hat to think that marriage = kids, and vica versa.

Kernal wrote:

WWM: Although you can certainly stay out and do your own thing, would you not agree that you cannot always do it as much as you want, or 'her indoors' starts feeling a little neglected and pissed off?

would you not get the same from your girlfriend? being married has nothing to do with what time you stay until. having a communicative relationship does that.

no, i wouldnt o it all the time, but then again, i dont want to. im sure if i did it every weekend my wife would get píssed at me, and rightly so.
im in a relationship, and therefor, i need to take account of her needs and wants, as well as my own. thats what a relationship is about.
marriage is just taking that relationship a step further.
i see it as no different than people who spend 20 years toegther without getting married. its not about the certificate. its about what you and your partner get out of it personally. at least, thats how i view it.

some people view it as a prison sentence as i said, and others view it as a sham. i take my marriage seriously, but thats because i take my relationshhip seriously, but me as a person, im not too serious at all

no, marriage does not restrict your life, in fact i think it enhances it significantly. you and your relationship are what will restrict your activites. so if you dont want to be restricted, dont marry someone who needs you home by 6:30 every day, and who wont let you go out on your own without thinking youre about to fall into the bed of the nearest female that finds you...
and of course, the same is true for blokes out there.

Well, WWM, thank a bunch, I was perfectly happy being single... now you've just made me realise how much I actually hate it...
Any cute single men out there?

WhiteWashMan wrote:

i see it as no different than people who spend 20 years toegther without getting married. its not about the certificate. its about what you and your partner get out of it personally. at least, thats how i view it.

Tax breaks my good man. There's the main difference for you*.



*Assuming that the religious side of marriage doesn't matter much to you. If it does then obviously marriage is quite a big deal.

nesf wrote:

Tax breaks my good man. There's the main difference for you*.

There aren't really that many tax breaks any more. The credit system made swapping your tfa redundant and unmarried and married couples get the same trs interest releif on mortgages. I don't really see the financial incentive, apart from the woman's potential widow's pension

I do think that marraige can mean the difference between hearing an instant "Congratulations!" or a careful "are you happy about it?" the day you tell your extended family you're pregnant.