Lapdancing clubs?

JoeKelly · 26-05-2005 08:02PM #1

Anyone here been to one of these 'gentlemens clubs' and if so what was your expierince. Im not a weirdo just thinkin now that im legal might go sometime!

Pighead · 26-05-2005 09:04PM

Walk in: Pay a Tenner
Go to the Bar: Pay a Fiver for a small glass of wine(No Beer)
Get chatted up by a stunning looking eastern european called Helga(if your drunk enough you might even think shes really interested in what you have to say)
Helga asks would you like to have a dance,At this stage you think shes crazy about you and start to wonder if you've cleaned the bedsheets yet this month.
Pay cashier 60 quid
Go behind a curtain,Helga gets topless and in a sexy voice she whispers in your ear,DON'T ****ING TOUCH OR I CALL SECURITY
5 mins of helgas breasts in your face,game over.Suddenly Helga isn't so friendly anymore.Time to leave
Leave club frustrated with balls inflated to the size of watermelons
Go home,have a ****,go to bed and dream of Helga.

paconnors · 26-05-2005 09:07PM

Pighead wrote:

Pay 60 quid

For 60 Quid i'd want dolly parton

aidan_walsh · 26-05-2005 09:08PM

Pighead wrote:

Walk in: Pay a Tenner
Go to the Bar: Pay a Fiver for a small glass of wine(No Beer)
Get chatted up by a stunning looking eastern european called Helga(if your drunk enough you might even think shes really interested in what you have to say)
Helga asks would you like to have a dance,At this stage you think shes crazy about you and start to wonder if you've cleaned the bedsheets yet this month.
Pay cashier 60 quid
Go behind a curtain,Helga gets topless and in a sexy voice she whispers in your ear,DON'T ****ING TOUCH OR I CALL SECURITY
5 mins of helgas breasts in your face,game over.Suddenly Helga isn't so friendly anymore.Time to leave
Leave club frustrated with balls inflated to the size of watermelons
Go home,have a ****,go to bed and dream of Helga.

Classy.

netwhizkid · 26-05-2005 09:09PM

Never been into one of these places, I think that alot of them are only covers for someit else (you know what i mean), If any one wanna see some norks why not just watch Sky tv, it dosen't cost anything either only the monthly rental.

Regards netwhizkid

RuggieBear · 26-05-2005 09:12PM

Pighead wrote:

Walk in: Pay a Tenner
Go to the Bar: Pay a Fiver for a small glass of wine(No Beer)
Get chatted up by a stunning looking eastern european called Helga(if your drunk enough you might even think shes really interested in what you have to say)
Helga asks would you like to have a dance,At this stage you think shes crazy about you and start to wonder if you've cleaned the bedsheets yet this month.
Pay cashier 60 quid
Go behind a curtain,Helga gets topless and in a sexy voice she whispers in your ear,DON'T ****ING TOUCH OR I CALL SECURITY
5 mins of helgas breasts in your face,game over.Suddenly Helga isn't so friendly anymore.Time to leave
Leave club frustrated with balls inflated to the size of watermelons
Go home,have a ****,go to bed and dream of Helga.

tbh, that's about as good a summing up of the experience as i have read

secret_squirrel · 26-05-2005 09:50PM

Alternatively.

Walk in: Free Entry
Go to the Bar: Pay around €4 for a decent pint.

Ding Ding Round 1 :
Get chatted up by a stunning looking eastern european called Helga

Helga asks would you like to have a dance

Pay cashier 30 quid
Go behind a curtain,Helga gets topless and in a sexy voice she whispers in your ear,DON'T ****ING TOUCH OR I CALL SECURITY
5 mins of helgas breasts in your face,game over.Suddenly Helga isn't so friendly anymore.

Stand around admiring scenery whilst drinking cheap pints chatting to rest of the Stag lads.

Ding Ding Round 2 :
chatted up by 2nd stunning eastern european also called Helga who asks if you want a VIP dance.
Pay €60
Go into VIP room where several other eastern europeans are rubbing themselves over lads. Have fractional longer dance and see more of Helga than her Gynacologist does.
Suddenly Helga isn't so friendly anymore.

Stand around admiring scenery whilst drinking cheap pints. Get absolutely hammered.

Ding Ding Round 3 :
Helga the 3rd arrives and talks you into paying €120 for a 'special' dance
Pay €120 on your credit card to knuckle dragging bouncer.

Go back to VIP room - get special dance - like vip dance only slightly longer.

time.....passes......

Leave club pissed and frustrated with balls inflated to the size of watermelons
Go home,have a ****,go to bed and dream of Helgas

Get woken up by credit card company next morning asking if 4 €120 charges on your credit card from 'Select Restaurants' are fraudulent -
Stupidly say No.
Put down phone and realise you had 3 more dances and you cant even remember them.
Pay credit card off painfully over several months.
Swear never to goto a lap dancing club again.

Not me honest

RuggieBear · 26-05-2005 09:53PM

secret_squirrel wrote:

Alternatively.

Walk in: Free Entry

.......
wear never to goto a lap dancing club again.

Not me honest

we have a new winner! :eek:

RuggieBear · 26-05-2005 09:59PM

i've posted this story before but i thought you might be interested. It's about a friend of mine, lets call him John

Went to Sydney for the year with John and a few mates,one day we went on all day drinking binge with a few mates, his girlfriend was at home, so it was just the lads. We decided to go to a strip club in Kings cross about 2am...we got in free and we watched a few very hot women do all sorts of naked stuff...

all going grand, till i went to the bathroom and on returning to the main room, see John climbing on stage...at first i thought he was trying to drunkenly go after one of the strippers and i went to try and get him and protect him from the huge bouncers but one of the bouncers stopped me and told me it was "part of the act"...so i sat down again and watched the stripper give him a lap dance in front of everyone....and then lie him down on the stage, take his pants off, blow him for a few minutes and then put a condom on and ride him on stage......i didn't know where to look...

That's the abbreviated version

Adam · 26-05-2005 10:30PM

RuggieBear wrote:

i've posted this story before but i thought you might be interested. It's about a friend of mine, lets call him John

Went to Sydney for the year with John and a few mates,one day we went on all day drinking binge with a few mates, his girlfriend was at home, so it was just the lads. We decided to go to a strip club in Kings cross about 2am...we got in free and we watched a few very hot women do all sorts of naked stuff...

all going grand, till i went to the bathroom and on returning to the main room, see John climbing on stage...at first i thought he was trying to drunkenly go after one of the strippers and i went to try and get him and protect him from the huge bouncers but one of the bouncers stopped me and told me it was "part of the act"...so i sat down again and watched the stripper give him a lap dance in front of everyone....and then lie him down on the stage, take his pants off, blow him for a few minutes and then put a condom on and ride him on stage......i didn't know where to look...

That's the abbreviated version

:eek::eek::eek:

WhiteWashMan · 26-05-2005 10:45PM

did he have a big penis?

RuggieBear · 26-05-2005 10:48PM

WhiteWashMan wrote:

did he have a big penis?

tbh i can't remember

Greazo · 26-05-2005 10:50PM

In Ireland they are a massive rip off but go to Scotland and you`ll get value for money,fiver in,2 quid a drink,and a fiver a dance you cant argue with that..over here a half decent nite in a lapdancing club would cost the guts of €200

Deadwing · 26-05-2005 11:05PM

Ive only ever been in one, in L.A, was there staying with a friend, who was determined to take me to my first ever strip bar (this was before most of the clubs sprang up in dublin, he was amazed to hear we didnt really have any).
So in we stroll, 20 dollars at the door, went in, sat down next to the catwalk, and tbh i didnt really know where to look, i was pretty embarassed seein all these naked chicks lol..so im lookin at the floor, when alluva sudden this chicks legs flop over my shoulders, buck naked, and my face is quite literally a hairs breadth from her kitty..lol, and i start giggling like a schoolgirl lol. My mate paid for the lapdance, she turned out to be spanish, looked a little like krystal steal, but i was most shocked tho cause she grabbed my hands and put them on her tits, and so did the second chick i got one from..lol

So tbh, it was a laugh, but not somethin id do again as A) its a rip off, and

i was more embarassed than aroused

plus my gf would cut my balls off...lol

Only Human · 26-05-2005 11:09PM

Sure sure we've heard the stories from all the customers but do we actually have a stripper on boards.ie?

Dr. Loon · 27-05-2005 12:59AM

RuggieBear wrote:

i've posted this story before but i thought you might be interested. It's about a friend of mine, lets call him John

This sounds very familiar. I probably know you.

simu · 27-05-2005 07:49PM

Pighead wrote:

Walk in: Pay a Tenner
Go to the Bar: Pay a Fiver for a small glass of wine(No Beer)
Get chatted up by a stunning looking eastern european called Helga(if your drunk enough you might even think shes really interested in what you have to say)X
Helga asks would you like to have a dance,At this stage you think shes crazy about you and start to wonder if you've cleaned the bedsheets yet this month.
Pay cashier 60 quid
Go behind a curtain,Helga gets topless and in a sexy voice she whispers in your ear,DON'T ****ING TOUCH OR I CALL SECURITY
5 mins of helgas breasts in your face,game over.Suddenly Helga isn't so friendly anymore.Time to leave
Leave club frustrated with balls inflated to the size of watermelons
Go home,have a ****,go to bed and dream of Helga.

See the x? Let her chat you up for a while but refuse the dance. Then wait for the next one to chat you up. And so on all night. That would be a better ego-booster imo. Or is there some rule againt that?

Blisterman · 27-05-2005 08:13PM

Did you read the drunk part?

simu · 27-05-2005 08:14PM

Beh, no excuse.

Victor · 27-05-2005 08:58PM

simu wrote:

See the x? Let her chat you up for a while but refuse the dance. Then wait for the next one to chat you up. And so on all night. That would be a better ego-booster imo. Or is there some rule againt that?

I imagine you will eventually get ignored and in the rougher clubs, chucked out (unless you are buying lots of booze).

OfflerCrocGod · 27-05-2005 11:14PM

mikegannon wrote:

For 60 Quid i'd want dolly parton

You have NO taste.

buzzerxx · 27-05-2005 11:52PM

angels is a good one ,20 in ,5 a pint ,minimum 20 a dance,a rip off,but the girls are awesome ,most of the time

kstanl · 28-05-2005 03:24PM

Seriously sad getting ripped off like that to have tits shoved in your face. Why not just go out and pull a similarly attractive woman but with a little more class and less likely to be riddled with STDs?

buzzerxx · 31-05-2005 05:16PM

KSTANL. because thats just too much hard work,in any way most women are the same ,your money is all thats on their minds. you go to a lapdancing club with a few mates and u have a good buzz and you wont see girls walking around wearing what they do in any bar, so as long as its occasional its ok with me.

Executive Steve · 01-06-2005 11:28AM

how on earth are you going to get std's from a chick who's wearing her knickers and waving her mammaries at you??? far more likely to get an std off someone you meet in a club or whatever, especially at an over 30's night...

Ronan|Raven · 01-06-2005 12:16PM

Whilst over in New Orleans for Mardi Gras myself and my trusty crew of upstanding members of society decided to frequent numerous strib clubs over there. 5 dollars in, cheap dances. Give the girls on stage a dollar or two and they are very friendly. And they run 24/7 nout better than drinking White russians at 7am sleepily oggling some totty

Lola123 · 01-06-2005 12:20PM

RuggieBear wrote:

i've posted this story before but i thought you might be interested. It's about a friend of mine, lets call him John

Went to Sydney for the year with John and a few mates,one day we went on all day drinking binge with a few mates, his girlfriend was at home, so it was just the lads. We decided to go to a strip club in Kings cross about 2am...we got in free and we watched a few very hot women do all sorts of naked stuff...

all going grand, till i went to the bathroom and on returning to the main room, see John climbing on stage...at first i thought he was trying to drunkenly go after one of the strippers and i went to try and get him and protect him from the huge bouncers but one of the bouncers stopped me and told me it was "part of the act"...so i sat down again and watched the stripper give him a lap dance in front of everyone....and then lie him down on the stage, take his pants off, blow him for a few minutes and then put a condom on and ride him on stage......i didn't know where to look...

That's the abbreviated version

Another reason why the girl should GO WITH the bloke!! Been twice. Not at ALL what I imagined it would be. The places tend to be complete dives and the girls aren't as spectacular as I had originally thought they would be. Nevertheless for any girls who decide to go with their boyf's u'd wanna be ok with them lookin at other girls! I recommend the girl gets the lapdance n the bloke watched. Can be quite a turn on (even if ur not into girls!). Still though, the're definitly not all they're cracked up to be!

01-06-2005 12:37PM

The places tend to be complete dives and the girls aren't as spectacular as I had originally thought they would be.

They cater for what men want.

Angels and the like cater for people who don't want to spend more than 100 euro a night, which means seedy looking places, with equally seedy looking bouncers. (some decent women, but alot of crap ones)

Then you have places like Rhino's which are bit upper market, and the interior is quite nice. Women are all hot, and normally quite well educated. But then you're paying more for your money.

And thats just Ireland (which has one of the worst reputations in Europe as a place to work).

Go to London or even better Italy, and it'll blow your mind away.

personally I prefer spending 120 euro in a decent lapdancing club, getting a few drinks, talking to some nice women, and having a good time..... compared to going out, getting drunk, getting into a fight u didn't start, getting busted by some fat girl, then wandering 4 hours looking for a taxi, and in the end you spend 160 euro (at least).

Not something for every weekend, but its a good laugh. I tend to go abt 6-7 times a year.

Kingsize · 01-06-2005 01:46PM

then wandering 4 hours looking for a taxi

do the classy lapdancing clubs give you a lift home

???

simu · 01-06-2005 02:06PM

Deleted User wrote:

Then you have places like Rhino's which are bit upper market, and the interior is quite nice. Women are all hot, and normally quite well educated. But then you're paying more for your money.

They quote Shakespeare whilst sticking thier ass in your face?

01-06-2005 02:20PM

They quote Shakespeare whilst sticking thier ass in your face?

Not quite. I prefer their tits anyway. But what i mean by educated, is that they have fluent english (if foreign), and can hold a conversation rather than being just an attractive body.

do the classy lapdancing clubs give you a lift home

none that I know of. Still if you grab a few dancers aggressively you may leave in an ambulance.

But what i meant is that usually you're finished before the nightclub crowd, so taxi's aren't that much of a problem.

Lapdancing clubs?

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