privacy in relationships

cinders · 29-04-2005 09:33AM #1

Is there any privacy anymore in relationships, has anyone ever gone out with a guy who staked them or acted like 'big brother'

its very suffocating isnt? Makes me question their sanity

mondo · 29-04-2005 09:58AM

cinders wrote:

Is there any privacy anymore in relationships, has anyone ever gone out with a guy who staked them or acted like 'big brother'
its very suffocating isnt? Makes me question their sanity

Sanity? Well and truly lost at that point...stalking means you need to have a serious assessment of the person doing it? I went out with a girl who drove me insane with childish pranks like checking my call register on my mobile when I'd leave for a few mins etc...At one stage I thinkk she even broke into my email accounts! Crazy! How low can you go?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I got the card for a good shrink and mailed it to her!

What happened anyway?!

TerrorFirmer · 29-04-2005 10:34AM

I'm one of those big brothers.

Stench Blossoms · 29-04-2005 10:43AM

MobileInfantry wrote:

I'm one of those big brothers.

so am i

joejoem · 29-04-2005 10:51AM

YEah its a pain, like the 24/7 where are you? what are you doing tonight?

I WANT MY OWN LIFE!!!!

mondo · 29-04-2005 10:52AM

orla wrote:

so am i

Ridiculous! In fairness...people and their insecurities is whats ending all these relationships! People should be happy that their chosen or respective parners have chosen to have you in their lives...don't ruin it by acting suspicious all the time! :eek:

petes · 29-04-2005 10:53AM

Im not. Stalking though. Whole different kettle of fish.

cinders · 29-04-2005 11:33AM

joejoem wrote:

YEah its a pain, like the 24/7 where are you? what are you doing tonight?

I WANT MY OWN LIFE!!!!

yea i hear you, its worse than a pain because it drives you away from the other person, and its usual that girls act like this-- does it all come not trusting you or just an insecurity

hannable80 · 29-04-2005 11:36AM

i think the last piont is strong and exceptional

monkeyfudge · 29-04-2005 11:36AM

I'm the opposite.. I haven't spoken to my girlfriend in 4 months...

hmmm.. perhaps I should revaluate this relationship...

cinders · 29-04-2005 11:36AM

mondo wrote:

Ridiculous! In fairness...people and their insecurities is whats ending all these relationships! People should be happy that their chosen or respective parners have chosen to have you in their lives...don't ruin it by acting suspicious all the time! :eek:

i totally agree with you, so whats a girl to do?
Thing is -do big brother type of people not know the damage they are doing and that it is completely over stepping the boundaries of respect and trust and loyalty

skywalker · 29-04-2005 11:43AM

monkeyfudge wrote:

I'm the opposite.. I haven't spoken to my girlfriend in 4 months...

hmmm.. perhaps I should revaluate this relationship...

Lol. Your after reminding me of an old relationship of mine, we'd gently drifted apart and hadnt talked in literally 6 months. I ran into one of her friends in a nightclub and the friend said this girl was wanting to know what the story was with "us" were we still together or what

Would have thought the not talking for 6 months part would have cleared that up!

hussey · 29-04-2005 11:48AM

I love lamp

c - 13 · 29-04-2005 11:49AM

Now hussey do you really love the lamp or are you just saying that because you seen it ?

cinders · 29-04-2005 11:50AM

skywalker wrote:

Lol. Your after reminding me of an old relationship of mine, we'd gently drifted apart and hadnt talked in literally 6 months. I ran into one of her friends in a nightclub and the friend said this girl was wanting to know what the story was with "us" were we still together or what Would have thought the not talking for 6 months part would have cleared that up!

reminds me of a guy i USED to date--- i found out he broke into my mail account and also went throught my mobile- not once so i dumped his sorry ass. I bumped into him and he asked why we had finished!!!!

GeorgeBailey · 29-04-2005 11:50AM

cinders wrote:

has anyone ever gone out with a guy who staked them

Perhaps he thought you were a vampire?

joejoem · 29-04-2005 11:56AM

GeorgeBailey wrote:

Perhaps he thought you were a vampire?

eehhh he he he he he he he he he. Well spooted

cinders · 29-04-2005 11:59AM

joejoem wrote:

eehhh he he he he he he he he he. Well spooted

LOL . ok i see it
you know i meant stalker, but i may have to stake my stalker if he doesnt STOP

melekalikimaka · 29-04-2005 12:25PM

i have one of them, they use a fake email address and name to talk to me on msn...loser, i'm playing along just to see what is said, my friends find it hilarious

mondo · 29-04-2005 12:31PM

cinders wrote:

i totally agree with you, so whats a girl to do?
Thing is -do big brother type of people not know the damage they are doing and that it is completely over stepping the boundaries of respect and trust and loyalty

What is a girl to do? Get away from it...lay down the law or get the hell outtie!

mondo · 29-04-2005 12:34PM

cinders wrote:

LOL . ok i see it
you know i meant stalker, but i may have to stake my stalker if he doesnt STOP

Yea stake him out completely freak him out! Let him experience the eye of the big brother!!! :mad: Revengeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

cinders · 29-04-2005 12:38PM

mondo wrote:

Yea stake him out completely freak him out! Let him experience the eye of the big brother!!! :mad: Revengeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

no cant do that- not me
plus he would just love it,
i dont want to break into his mail or go through his fone- its called privacy
I wonder does anybody else out there have the same problem with their other not better half?

mondo · 29-04-2005 12:46PM

cinders wrote:

no cant do that- not me
plus he would just love it,
i dont want to break into his mail or go through his fone- its called privacy
I wonder does anybody else out there have the same problem with their other not better half?

Sure you call it privacy....I call it lunacy! Totally not on....give hima dose of his own medicine...what goes around should come around!!!!

cinders · 29-04-2005 01:08PM

mondo wrote:

Sure you call it privacy....I call it lunacy! Totally not on....give hima dose of his own medicine...what goes around should come around!!!!

so tell me Mondo what do u suggest?

joejoem · 29-04-2005 01:15PM

Advertise his phone number all over the net for pirate porn (by that I mean illigally copied not porn stars dressed up as pirates) for sale. Make sure the adds will attract all the dirtiest sleaze bags. If you wanna get really nasty advertise something illegal like mace cans & tazer gunnes and use his name as the company name (eg joe bloggs protection)

cinders · 29-04-2005 01:25PM

joejoem wrote:

Advertise his phone number all over the net for pirate porn (by that I mean illigally copied not porn stars dressed up as pirates) for sale. Make sure the adds will attract all the dirtiest sleaze bags. If you wanna get really nasty advertise something illegal like mace cans & tazer gunnes and use his name as the company name (eg joe bloggs protection)

Nice, tempting

mondo · 29-04-2005 01:28PM

cinders wrote:

so tell me Mondo what do u suggest?

Start off with getting all the info you can on his schedule...like meetings etc and act the spy by following him around....be wherever you can be that he is! Then keep an eye on all messages etc that he gets, you need to adopt the poise of a Private I (eye)

Seriously though...I jest you not...clear this up or it will tear you apart! The fact that you are here asking for advice speaks volumes! You just need to get your shot together...gove him an ultimatum...either he gets his shi* together; appreciates you and accepts that there is nothing to be suspicious of or nothing that he needs to worry about or you will have to get out of there! It's a compulsive disorder if you ask me and shows signs of being a control freak; if you can deal with that then I take back everything....but if not then..............

mondo · 29-04-2005 01:30PM

joejoem wrote:

Advertise his phone number all over the net for pirate porn (by that I mean illigally copied not porn stars dressed up as pirates) for sale. Make sure the adds will attract all the dirtiest sleaze bags. If you wanna get really nasty advertise something illegal like mace cans & tazer gunnes and use his name as the company name (eg joe bloggs protection)

I like your style!

Neuro · 29-04-2005 01:42PM

cinders wrote:

Is there any privacy anymore in relationships, has anyone ever gone out with a guy who staked them or acted like 'big brother'
its very suffocating isnt? Makes me question their sanity

I think it's more commonly known in Evolutionary Psychology as 'mate guarding'; at a biological level, males don't have the comfort of 'paternal certainty', i.e. they can never be certain that the child that they are helping to raise is actually theirs (of course nowadays we have genetic testing tools, but these we're not available to our ancestors). As a result, the only way men could insure their paternity was to insure that their partner did not mate with other males behind their backs, hence the evolution of jealousy. The matter is further complicated by the fact that women are one of the few female mammals with 'concealed ovulation', i.e. it's impossible for a male to determine when his mate is ovulating and as a result must guard his mate at all times as oppossed to other male mammels who only have guard their mates when they are in estrus.

Females on the other hand have 'maternal certainty'; the child the are raising must be theirs because, obviously, they gave birth to it. But nonetheless females have also evolved jealousy, but for a different reason than men. They need to insure that they continue to have the support of the male for food, protection etc. after their child is born and theirfore must guard against other women ursuping their mate.

It's also well documented that when both parties in a relationship state they are never jealous when they see a member of their own sex interacting with their partner, that such partnerships are far more likely to breakdown due to infidelity.

cinders · 29-04-2005 01:43PM

mondo wrote:

Start off with getting all the info you can on his schedule...like meetings etc and act the spy by following him around....be wherever you can be that he is! Then keep an eye on all messages etc that he gets, you need to adopt the poise of a Private I (eye)

Seriously though...I jest you not...clear this up or it will tear you apart! The fact that you are here asking for advice speaks volumes! You just need to get your shot together...gove him an ultimatum...either he gets his shi* together; appreciates you and accepts that there is nothing to be suspicious of or nothing that he needs to worry about or you will have to get out of there! It's a compulsive disorder if you ask me and shows signs of being a control freak; if you can deal with that then I take back everything....but if not then..............

yip i hear you, true words spoken, i cant deal with control freaks

cinders · 29-04-2005 01:48PM

Neuro wrote:

I think it's more commonly known in Evolutionary Psychology as 'mate guarding'; at a biological level, males don't have the comfort of 'paternal certainty', i.e. they can never be certain that the child that they are helping to raise is actually theirs (of course nowadays we have genetic testing tools, but these we're not available to our ancestors). As a result, the only way men could insure their paternity was to insure that their partner did not mate with other males behind their backs, hence the evolution of jealousy. The matter is further complicated by the fact that women are one of the few female mammals with 'concealed ovulation', i.e. it's impossible for a male to determine when his mate is ovulating and as a result must guard his mate at all times as oppossed to other male mammels who only have guard their mates when they are in estrus.

Females on the other hand have 'maternal certainty'; the child the are raising must be theirs because, obviously, they gave birth to it. But nonetheless females have also evolved jealousy, but for a different reason than men. They need to insure that they continue to have the support of the male for food, protection etc. after their child is born and theirfore must guard against other women ursuping their mate.

It's also well documented that when both parties in a relationship state they are never jealous when they see a member of their own sex interacting with their partner, that such partnerships are far more likely to breakdown due to infidelity.

Thats great, but where does trust come in to it.
so who does the infidelity bit- the person whos jealous and doing the big brother thing or the one who driven insane by such behaviour???????

privacy in relationships

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