Favourite ridiculous sayings.

Squall · 28-04-2005 02:09AM

"so I told the rabbi hes got to stop washing his colours with his whites"

Works wonders when people pass you on the street (obviously your talking to someone with you, otherwise it would just look weird

)

BlitzKrieg · 28-04-2005 02:18AM

*I'm gonna gauge your eyeballs out with a rusty spoon and skullf*ck you!*

i'd like to thank juilain mannion for his insane lines like the above.

bacon? · 28-04-2005 10:11AM

i like it

The_B_Man wrote:

shes a butterface: shes nice, but her face....;)

Fony Tenton · 28-04-2005 10:17AM

Crapfork

unknownguest · 28-04-2005 10:19AM

sweating like a paedophile in a cresh
sweating like a n*gger on trial (told to me by a black friend of mine so don't give me any stick for it, he was cracking up at it)

LoneGunM@n · 28-04-2005 10:26AM

Con9903 wrote:

one from the office - " I'm not saying hes unlucky, but if he fell into a barrel of tits he'd come out sucking his thumb"

Brilliant ... I'll be laughing at that for ages

:D

arse biscuits & chavtastic are one's I've come out with lately!

Tobias Greeshman · 28-04-2005 10:26AM

Yer one has a face like a Bulldog chewing a wasp!

c - 13 · 28-04-2005 10:28AM

The tide would'nt take her out.
A sniper would'nt take her out.
I'm so hungry i'd eat the ar$e off a low flying duck.
I'm so hungry i'd eat the ar$e off a nun through the convent gates.
... and i siad rectum ??? It nearly killed 'em (cant remember what thats from)
Sure you would'nt mind how ugly she is if you took her from behind.
He's as camp as a row of tents.
Im as sick as a small hospital.
Im as sick as the bus to Lourdes.
He'd put ire on yer ar$ehole, and if ya had 10 ar$eholes hed put ire on all 10 of them.

Thats all i can think of now ....

Keyzer · 28-04-2005 10:34AM

In commenting on a morbid or depressing person in your company you can turn to a comrade and say -

"That fvcker would put years on a ming vase"

BolBill · 28-04-2005 10:49AM

If I had a bag of mickeys I wouldn't let her smell it.
If I had a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't let her look over the wall.
I'm so hungry I could eat a babys arse through a broken wondow.
As camp as Butlins
As camp as a row of tents
As gay as a window (From Brasseye, Channel 4)
Shes got a neck like a jockeys bollox.
He made a pigs mickey of it.

Megatron · 28-04-2005 10:49AM

Good Enough for you ( on my fav's)

Looks like someone when to hit him/her with the ugly stick and said Ahh poor stick.

Face like a bag of smashed arseh0les.

Trying to say STFU as a word ( friend did it once in the pub, i nearly spat my pint all over him laughing).

Sorry i'm late, was at tachi station , yes ... stupid power converters.

F00king Metaclorines

Jim "I played for Liverpool you know" beglan ... idiot.

If ignorance is bliss you must be estatic.

you've got 2 hopes, no hope and Bob , and bob's dead and playing golf.

Bent like a S hoop.

Gay as Christmas.

How do you say help me in french , help me i've got a big french monkey on my back get him off me !!!!! ( Thanks to Denis leary)

and loads more, but can't think of them now.

toiletduck · 28-04-2005 10:51AM

She'd do for the poke!

Glipmac · 28-04-2005 11:01AM

this covers life very nicely

$hit happens!

Keyzer · 28-04-2005 11:04AM

I'd eat the balls off a low flying seagull

petes · 28-04-2005 11:10AM

Id ate the scabby leg off a dead donkey.

c - 13 · 28-04-2005 11:12AM

Id ate Jesus himself down off the cross.

Guru Maith Agut · 28-04-2005 11:29AM

Stop throwing things, you'll have somebodys eye out

Classic oldie line!

c - 13 · 28-04-2005 11:32AM

And then you have -
Its all fun and games 'till someone loses an eye, then its fun and games they can't see.

Otacon · 28-04-2005 11:47AM

"Deadly says the rat and he atein' the poison!"

"Don't go next nor near that!" [my mother's favourite]

and finally,

"She likes her spuds!"

beezkneez · 28-04-2005 11:52AM

"Could'nt hurl snow off a rope".

"Off Me".

Hitchhiker's Guide to... · 28-04-2005 12:26PM

"let's make like a banana and split"

"act like a tree and leave"

hullaballoo · 28-04-2005 12:31PM

c - 13 wrote:

... and i siad rectum ??? It nearly killed 'em (cant remember what thats from)

It's-- Little Johnny was asked by his techer the day after halloween what he had done the previous night. He replied; "i shoved a banger up a cat's arse", to which the teacher said; "rectum, Johnny, rectum" -- Johnny: "rectum, it bleedin' killed 'um!!!"

My favourite is: i'm so thirsty i'd lick the sweat off a knacker; replace knacker with "cream cracker", and for some reason it's funnier.

Auf

NikNik · 28-04-2005 01:01PM

Make like a wave and get over it.
I never apologize. Sorry, but that's just the way I am. (Homer J Simpson)
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Always remember no matter where you go, there you are.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

K2 · 28-04-2005 01:03PM

ya whores melt

FreaK_BrutheR · 28-04-2005 01:13PM

ya cuddin wheelbara cocks te her

Flookin Plink PLonk

Muineach · 28-04-2005 01:47PM

my really bad taske on the "when someone loses an eye"

Its all fun and games 'till someone loses an eye, then its fun and games they can see without depth perception.

and heres my fav sayin (i'm trying to stop it)

shockin

melekalikimaka · 28-04-2005 02:14PM

cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it

Hitchhiker's Guide to... · 28-04-2005 02:37PM

From Homer Simpson to Bart: "if at first you don't succeed: give up; if its hard its not worth doing"

Kermitt · 28-04-2005 03:04PM

he's as tight as a camel's ar$e in a sandstorm

(for something recently built) - sure, where would it go and nothin houldin it!

'as the crow flies'- what crow? and where is he flying? :rolleyes:

shut your mouth and eat your dinner :eek:

'is it yourself?' - who the f**k else would it be!!

Glipmac · 28-04-2005 03:10PM

"THE DOGS DANGLEIES" aka the dogs BALLS or the dogs b0ll0cks

Favourite ridiculous sayings.

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