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Do any other girls find it hard to make friends with other girls becoz they look well

  • 16-01-2005 05:38PM
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21 minimiss


    I don't want to sound really vain, but when ever i go out, blokes will always come up to me ... same in work ... anyway the same thing always happens when i start a new job , the blokes will stare at me and this will piss off the other girls and they won't talk to me ...
    i find it hard to be friends with other girls , they'll go out and not invite me or if a fella is chatting me up anywhere , the min my back is turned the other girls will tell the fella that i have something wrong wit me ... sometimes i don't even like walking out by myself becoz in my local area i'm like a celeb .. (i don't know y) and guys will always whistle and all that .. i don't mind that .. but girls will come up and try to fight wit me .. (people i don't even know) in shopping centres niteclubs etc etc ...
    are there any other lasses that experence this ? or have you ever bullied someone over being jealous ? Why ??
    i'm 23 (but look younger) and ALWAYS since i was 16 have other girls bitchin about me.


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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,598 ✭✭✭ferdi


    take comfort in the fact that your hot and they are not.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 21 minimiss


    its more serious than it sounds ... i don't get out much coz i don't have many female friends ... if i go to a work party .. i'll prob just sit with the other (but knowing they hate me )and have about 20 guys come up to me .. i don't mind talking to the guys but at the same time after a while most of them get a bit "too friendly" i get uncomfortable and then try and talk to the girl gang to get away from the over eager blokes ... but they won't talk to me .. some of these over eager blokes u see are married or whatever and then even becoz i didn't go near just talked to them .. the next week in work rumours start that i'm a slut etc ..
    i've even been sacked b4 from jobs becoz silly girls put in retarded complants about me so much that the boss decided for the sake of peace to let me go...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,240 ✭✭✭✭Sangre


    Well in general I have found people won't pick on you just because you're good looking. In my opinion you are obviously giving them some other reason, maybe you are way too flirty?
    Im going to go with my gut here and say, you think you're hot shít and you act like it too.

    Edit: that second reply just screams troll at me but im going to pretend its not one.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,330 ✭✭✭✭Amz


    minimiss wrote:
    i'm 23 (but look younger) and ALWAYS since i was 16 have other girls bitchin about me.
    I don't have many female friends. I just don't enjoy the company of many women. A lot of it has to do with personality.

    My best friend is very attractive, but she's nice with it. She's not vain, she doesn't use men and she doesn't abuse men.

    I've been friends with other girls who are attractive, but they've been stuck up cows who treat people like crap.

    I don't know if its jealousy with the girls you've experienced, maybe they've gotten vibes from you that you think you're better than them because you feel you're more attractive.

    Maybe you need to talk to them, maybe you need to stop being so hung up on looks and try and focus on being a nicer person.

    If people aren't treating you well because of your looks then they're not worth bothering with.

    You say you're like a "celeb" in your own town, sounds to me like you're from a very small town and maybe you need to get out more.

    Having read your post I'd imagine there is a lot more to your situation and the problems you're experiencing than other girls being jealous.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 21 minimiss


    i do try and talk to them alot .. i certainly don't flirt with some older bloke ..
    i dunno what i'm doing that pisses them off ... i keep other things secret about myself also .. like i have a car .. but never told any1 coz it will get up their noses , and i attend nightschool , didn't tell anyone that either because i know if i did that would be the last nail in the coffin ....


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,330 ✭✭✭✭Amz


    Uh huh ...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,128 ✭✭✭Gileadi


    wouldnt have thought nightschool was something you would need to hide tbh


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,240 ✭✭✭✭Sangre


    Poor, poor you.
    Its so hard to try and keep secrets from people just to be friends isn't it? If you only you could meet some nice people who you could tell everything and they wouldn't go into fits of jealous rages and get you fired....

    Well so much for that...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,958 ✭✭✭Chad ghostal


    surely it couldnt be that hard to play down your looks if theyr causing you that much trouble...
    i mean you shouldnt have to dress down or attempt to play down your looks, but in fairness if its causing you that much trouble..
    you have to get on with your life.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 70 ✭✭PRE_10_DER


    well it's obvious you should just kill youself.. *sigh* life is hard ain't it..

    What exactly is YOUR problem, it seems everyone else has the problem, not you...... unless you're a stuck up bitch..

    and by you last post i don't believe you are 23 tbh..


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 15,552 ✭✭✭✭GuanYin


    minimiss wrote:
    I don't want to sound really vain, but when ever i go out, blokes will always come up to me ... same in work ... anyway the same thing always happens when i start a new job , the blokes will stare at me and this will piss off the other girls and they won't talk to me ...
    i find it hard to be friends with other girls , they'll go out and not invite me or if a fella is chatting me up anywhere , the min my back is turned the other girls will tell the fella that i have something wrong wit me ... sometimes i don't even like walking out by myself becoz in my local area i'm like a celeb .. (i don't know y) and guys will always whistle and all that .. i don't mind that .. but girls will come up and try to fight wit me .. (people i don't even know) in shopping centres niteclubs etc etc ...
    are there any other lasses that experence this ? or have you ever bullied someone over being jealous ? Why ??
    i'm 23 (but look younger) and ALWAYS since i was 16 have other girls bitchin about me.

    I did a case study on depression once and it dealt with asthetic dissociation. Its common enough that people become who society think they should be because of how they look, and, more often than not, this makes them very very unhappy.

    The main thing is, its other peoples problems, not yours and you must never forget that. Sometimes its the best looking people who have the lowest self esteem because people never give them a chance to show who they are and have already made their mind up about them because of how they look. They think that people should be flattered by this, but its just as bad as someone gudging someone because they aren't attractive.

    Unfortunately, its down to you to deal with this because society won't change. Remember thats its important that you never lose sight of who you are because of how people treat you. Don't become their stereotype.

    Pursue your interests, its usualy through common interests and experiences that we make the best friends.

    Above all, don't compromise or lower yourself to accepting friends or boyfriends who don't respect and prioritise your feelings or personality over you looks.

    Its tough having people make there mind up about you because of how you look and you tend to get less sympathy because alot of the biase is based on envy.

    That said, the girls could be more wary of you because they THINK you are vain and attention seeking. Maybe if the girls realised how you felt and if you gave less time to people, especially guys who are hung up on your looks, and not as interested in your personality, they'd have more respect for you and give you a chance.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,330 ✭✭✭✭Amz


    PRE_10_DER wrote:
    and by you last post i don't believe you are 23 tbh..
    Blimey, you never cease to amaze PRE_10_DER.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    PRE_10_DER wrote:
    well it's obvious you should just kill youself.. *sigh* life is hard ain't it..
    [\QUOTE]

    No body really cres for your opinion


  • Posts: 6,645 ✭✭✭ Alayah Shapely Smile


    You obviously think you're really hot, so you probably come across as stuck up. I know loads of gorgeous girls who are really nice and nobody hates them or does what you've described.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 21 minimiss


    PRE_10_DER wrote:

    and by you last post i don't believe you are 23 tbh..

    why???

    i dress the same as every1 esle ... btw .. i don't think i am really great looking .. its other people .. i know its about looks coz i get attention so much from blokes .. and i can tell the way the girls give me dirty looks when the blokes talk to me that their jealous...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 70 ✭✭PRE_10_DER


    Boston wrote:
    PRE_10_DER wrote:
    well it's obvious you should just kill youself.. *sigh* life is hard ain't it..
    [\QUOTE]

    No body really cres for your opinion
    do i care?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,330 ✭✭✭✭Amz


    As syke said, you make the best friends through the sharing of common interestes/experiences.

    Perhaps by not sharing about your car ownership or your night courses etc. you appear aloof or standoffish.

    They may be afraid to approach you if they think you don't want to talk to them as you feel like you're more attractive than them.

    You may be surprised by their reactions if you attempt to engage them in discussion about these things. You're only human, when they realise you do go through a lot of the same things they go through they'll cop on a bit.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 70 ✭✭PRE_10_DER


    minimiss wrote:
    why???

    i dress the same as every1 esle ... btw .. i don't think i am really great looking .. its other people .. i know its about looks coz i get attention so much from blokes .. and i can tell the way the girls give me dirty looks when the blokes talk to me that their jealous...
    this is only an opinion... you don't really have a clue why they, allegedly, hate you


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 15,552 ✭✭✭✭GuanYin


    Amz wrote:
    You're 23?!!

    This is a joke right?.

    No offence Amz, but this reply from you is somewhat puzzling to me.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,330 ✭✭✭✭Amz


    syke wrote:
    No offence Amz, but this reply from you is somewhat puzzling to me.
    Why would I be offended?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,437 ✭✭✭Crucifix


    I'm must agree, it's more likely your attitude than anything else.
    I've noticed girls being ticked off at other girls getting attention from men, but generally it's a very specific situation, and it's only mildly irritated rather than friendship destroying hatred.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 21 minimiss


    what amz said above did sort of work for me in work .. where i work now i told them what happened in the job b4 ... i didn't say i thought it was because i looked great .. i just gave the facts of what happened .. if they had cop on they would have realised it was just a gang of bitches getting together to bitch that went to far ...
    but my friends outside of work can act weird .. like not ever letting me meet their boyfriends ... when i found out some guy who was a friend of my friend liked me and had told her to tell me but she nva did .. i thought it was a bit weird ... theres other little things aswell ..
    these things also happen to my sister who looks a bit like me ... but i was just wondering was there any others out there who got a bad reaction from other girls ..
    it seems like i always have to be xtra nice and nva talk to any men , not to upset them...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 336 ✭✭Miles


    minimiss wrote:
    I don't want to sound really vain, but when ever i go out, blokes will always come up to me ... same in work ... anyway the same thing always happens when i start a new job , the blokes will stare at me and this will piss off the other girls and they won't talk to me ...
    i find it hard to be friends with other girls , they'll go out and not invite me or if a fella is chatting me up anywhere , the min my back is turned the other girls will tell the fella that i have something wrong wit me ... sometimes i don't even like walking out by myself becoz in my local area i'm like a celeb .. (i don't know y) and guys will always whistle and all that .. i don't mind that .. but girls will come up and try to fight wit me .. (people i don't even know) in shopping centres niteclubs etc etc ...
    are there any other lasses that experence this ? or have you ever bullied someone over being jealous ? Why ??
    i'm 23 (but look younger) and ALWAYS since i was 16 have other girls bitchin about me.


    As someone else said forget it you're hot and their not.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 15,552 ✭✭✭✭GuanYin


    Amz wrote:
    Why would I be offended?

    Coz I'm suggesting that some of that post contradicts views you have expressed previously


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,468 ✭✭✭Lex_Diamonds


    Minimiss,

    I suggest that you go into a career where your looks will get you up the ladder (model, PR, etc). Then you wont have this problem with the uggers getting jealous and fooking things up for you. Dont let them get you down, and dont lose self esteem or whatever over it.

    P.S. Pics plz


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,330 ✭✭✭✭Amz


    minimiss wrote:
    what amz said above did sort of work for me in work .. where i work now i told them what happened in the job b4 ... i didn't say i thought it was because i looked great .. i just gave the facts of what happened .. if they had cop on they would have realised it was just a gang of bitches getting together to bitch that went to far ...
    but my friends outside of work can act weird .. like not ever letting me meet their boyfriends ... when i found out some guy who was a friend of my friend liked me and had told her to tell me but she nva did .. i thought it was a bit weird ... theres other little things aswell ..
    these things also happen to my sister who looks a bit like me ... but i was just wondering was there any others out there who got a bad reaction from other girls ..
    it seems like i always have to be xtra nice and nva talk to any men , not to upset them...
    They don't seem like very good friends if they're acting like that towards you. They obviously have esteem and trust issues if they're threatened by you that much that they won't introduce you to their boyfriends.

    You'd be better off not worrying about thse people and how they want you to act. If they can't accept you for your personality as well as your appearance they're obviously quite shallow and not worth wasting time fretting about.

    Have you any other interests/hobbies that you could meet people through?

    Do you play a sport?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,437 ✭✭✭Crucifix


    P.S. Pics plz
    I can't believe it took 26 posts for someone to just say it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,330 ✭✭✭✭Amz


    syke wrote:
    Coz I'm suggesting that some of that post contradicts views you have expressed previously
    Upon reading more of the user's posts etc. I may have been hasty in my assumption. I just found it hard to believe that someone of 23 would have these issues.

    I've removed the content in question.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,240 ✭✭✭✭Sangre


    Have you ever cheated with one of their boyfriends? Be honest.

    Its not because of your looks, its how you act in front of/with them.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 21 minimiss


    Amz wrote:
    They don't seem like very good friends if they're acting like that towards you. They obviously have esteem and trust issues if they're threatened by you that much that they won't introduce you to their boyfriends.

    You'd be better off not worrying about thse people and how they want you to act. If they can't accept you for your personality as well as your appearance they're obviously quite shallow and not worth wasting time fretting about.

    Have you any other interests/hobbies that you could meet people through?

    Do you play a sport?

    I sometimes think i have no friends because there is only 1 girl i know who doesn't behave that way ...
    I thought what you said also about they have low self esteem, someone even once said to me supposely joking " when we go to this party you have to wear an old black bag and no make up at all becoz i want john to really notice me"

    i have lots of hobbies interests .. but i'm a girly girl so most of its girly sort of stuff ... the same thing happens everywhere nearly with other girls ..


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