quotes

Only Fools and Horses - after Boicy had been to the doctors for a sperm count-
Del: To think all this time he was a Jaffa.
Rodney: Whats a Jaffa?
Del: Seedless


Not sure of exact quote

> > > > >>I feel sorry for people who don't
> > > > >>drink. When they wake up in the
> > > > >>morning, that's as good as they're
> > > > >>going to feel all day.
> > > > >>--Frank Sinatra
> > > > >>
> > > > >>The problem with some people is
> > > > >>that when they aren't drunk,
> > > > >>they're sober.
> > > > >>--William Butler Yeats
> > > > >>
> > > > >>An intelligent man is sometimes
> > > > >>forced to be drunk to spend time
> > > > >>with his fools.
> > > > >>--Ernest Hemingway
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Always do sober what you said
> > > > >>you'd do drunk. That will teach
> > > > >>you to keep your mouth shut.
> > > > >>--Ernest Hemingway
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Time is never wasted when you're
> > > > >>wasted all the time.
> > > > >>--Catherine Zandonella
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Non-Drinker: a weak person who
> > > > >>yields to the temptation of
> > > > >>denying himself a pleasure.
> > > > >>--Ambrose Bierce
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Reality is an illusion that occurs
> > > > >>due to lack of alcohol.
> > > > >>--Anonymous
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Drinking provides a beautiful
> > > > >>excuse to pursue the one activity
> > > > >>that truly gives me pleasure,
> > > > >>hooking up with fat hairy girls.
> > > > >>-- Ross Levy
> > > > >>
> > > > >>A woman drove me to drink and I
> > > > >>didn't even have the decency to
> > > >
> > > > >>thank her.
> > > > >>
> > > > >>What contemptible scoundrel has
> > > > >>stolen the cork to my lunch?
> > > > >>--W.C. Fields
> > > > >>
> > > > >>When I read about the evils of
> > > > >>drinking, I gave up reading.
> > > > >>--Henny Youngman
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Life is a waste of time, time is a
> > > > >>waste of life, so get wasted all
> > > > >>of the time and have the time of
> > > > >>your life.
> > > > >>-- Michelle Mastrolacasa
> > > > >>
> > > > >>I'd rather have a bottle in front
> > > > >>of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
> > > > >>--Tom Waits
> > > > >>
> > > > >>24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a
> > > > >>case. Coincidence?
> > > > >>--Stephen Wright
> > > > >>
> > > > >>When we drink, we get drunk. When
> > > > >>we get drunk, we fall asleep.
> > > > >>When we fall asleep, we commit no
> > > > >>sin. When we commit no sin,
> > > > >>we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's
> > > > >>all get drunk, and go to heaven...
> > > > >>-- Brian O'Rourke
> > > > >>
> > > > >>You can't be a real country unless
> > > > >>you have a beer and an airline -
> > > > >>it helps if you have some kind of a
> > > > >>football team, or some nuclear
> > > > >>weapons, but at the very least you
> > > > >>need a beer.
> > > > >>--Frank Zappa
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Always remember that I have taken
> > > > >>more out of alcohol than alcohol
> > > > >>has taken out of me.
> > > > >>--Winston Churchill
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Beer is proof that God loves us
> > > > >>and wants us to be happy.
> > > > >>--Benjamin Franklin
> > > > >>
> > > > >>If you ever reach total
> > > > >>enlightenment while drinking beer,
> > > > >>I bet it makes beer shoot out your
> > > > >>nose.
> > > > >>--Deep Thought, Jack Handy
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Without question, the greatest
> > > > >>invention in the history of mankind
> > > > >>is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
> > > > >>wheel was also a fine invention,
> > > > >>but the wheel does not go nearly
> > > > >>as well with pizza.
> > > > >>--Dave Barry
> > > > >>
> > > > >>The problem with the world is that
> > > > >>everyone is a few drinks behind.
> > > > >>--Humphrey Bogart
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Why is American beer served cold?
> > > > >>So you can tell it from urine.
> > > > >>--David Moulton
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Give me a woman who loves beer and
> > > > >>I will conquer the world.
> > > > >>--Kaiser Wilhelm
> > > > >>
> > > > >>I would kill everyone in this room
> > > > >>for a drop of sweet beer.
> > > > >>--Homer Simpson
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Not all chemicals are bad. Without
> > > > >>chemicals such as hydrogen and
> > > > >>oxygen, for example, there would be
> > > > >>no way to make water, a vital
> > > > >>ingredient in beer.
> > > > >>--Dave Barry
> > > > >>
> > > > >>All right, brain, I don't like you
> > > > >>and you don't like me -
> > > > >>so let's just do this and I'll get
> > > > >>back to killing you with beer.
> > > > >>--Homer Simpson
> > > > >>
> > > > >>If I had a nickel for every beer I've bought;
> > > > >>I'd buy more :-)
> > > > >>-- Priscilla Marsh

Errrrr..... Let me think of a useless never-come-true-one.

Ahhh!


Tiocfaidh Ar La

Someone once said, "all art eventually aspires to music"

Michael Stipe upon being asked how he dealt with fame:
"I masturbate a lot"