quotes

pat kenny

I got this idea from the simpsons post,whats your favourite quote from anywhere.Politics,tv,films.
examples.
Bill Gates "no one should ever need more than 640k of memory"
homer simpson "I was not asleep,I was drunk"

p.s. iv become a spammer the think i dispise the most,next thing i know ill be playing as a demoman in tfc.Ughhhhh....demoman,i feel so dirty.

Hobbes

Bill gates never said that. Urban legand.

Favorite quote below.

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"Arguing with anonymous strangers on the Internet is a sucker's game because they almost always turn out to be--or to be indistinguishable from -- self-righteous sixteen-year-olds possessing infinite amounts of free time." -Neal Stephenson, _Cryptonomicon_

Excelsior

I have many, here's a famous good one though:


I am convinced that He (God) does not play dice.
Albert Einstein (1879-1955) 

WhiteWashMan

favourite quote

jesus, youre (me) a great ride

from your ma

Hobbes

My ma said she was only humouring you.

Hecate

"If the current rate of horse carriage ownership continues, by 1967 the world will be covered in a layer of horse manure 2 metres thick"

Anonymus - 1850

Asuka

Many, only one of which being -
'Everything that can be invented, has been invented.'
-US Patent Office, 1891

El_Presidente

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman"

I think we all know who said it.

harVee

i'd deny it too.
have ya seen the state of her
harVey

[This message has been edited by harVee (edited 19-01-2000).]

Hobbes

leave the poor woman alone, she's on the slimfast plan now! (oops Jenny Craig I mean)

Top Ten slogans for Jenny Craig now that they've hired Monica Lewinsky

10. Overweight? Get up off your knees and come see us.
9. Stop looking like fat white trash! Start looking like thin white trash!
8. Who cares about morality when you look good?
7. Our meals aren't hard to swallow.
6. Our choice of spokesperson is as tasteless as our food.
5. You'll look so good, all the married men you know will want to commit adultery.
4. We solemnly swear you'll lose weight...but it depends on your definition of "lose."
3. Monica says, "Mmm mmm," but that's usually all she can say.
2. Desiree Brown wanted too much money, so we had to hire Monica.
1. We got Monica to lose weight, and you all know that she'll eat ANYTHING.


here's another quote...

"You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe." -- Marcus to Franklin in Babylon 5:"A Late Delivery from Avalon"

[This message has been edited by Hobbes (edited 19-01-2000).]

TwoShedsJackson

For the ultimate in ignorant stupidity, I like 'Oh, I'd love to be as thin as them, but without all the flies and death' - Mariah Carey on the Ethiopians.

God Bless Mariah Carey, truly a woman who has absolutely no brain whatsoever, I mean she's been married three times, in each case to the head of her current record company, gosh, I can't see any pattern of sleeping her way to the top there whatsoever

Shinji

"Yes, but what is it useful for?"

(then Chairman of IBM on being shown a demonstration of a prototype integrated circuit by the founders of Intel)

WhiteWashMan

i have to say i think mariah carey is repulsive.
her music is bland
shes got nice legs thou

Monty - the one and only

With all this technology, it still takes forever to get anywhere
-Marcus

If you value your lives, BE somewhere else!!
-Delen
2 more Babylon 5 quotes

www.firstones.com

TwoShedsJackson

Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
--Spike Milligan

There ought to be limits to freedom.
George W. Bush, Governor of Texas and US Presidential Candidate, in response to an unflattering web site, 1999

I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't like?
-- Jean Cocteau

I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
-- Gandhi

and my personal fave :

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
-- Rita Rudner

the celtic tiger

"Fair thee well sweet prince and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest".....Willy#

tct

glondoor will survive

"if you can make one heap of all your winnings, and risk it all on one turn of pitch and toss, and lose, and start again at your beginnings......" it goes on and on about how "you'll be a man my son" ---Rudyard Kipling

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I will not be defeated as long as i have gloware in the land of the shadowed eye!!!

bord na mona firelog

"A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man"---Jebidiah Springfield


nice

bord na mona firelog

"A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man"----Jebidiah Springfield

very nice

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I burn bigger, brighter and longer than anyone else.....aaaaaaaaarrrrrrr!!!!!!!

bubbles

"Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breckfast" - Ace "Arnold Judas" Rimmer


""Listy, Listy, is that a small sewage plant you're carrying in your trousers or do I detect you're a tad nervous.." - Rimmer (SmegHead)


Cat: All in all, a 100% successful trip.
Kryten: But sir, we lost mr Rimmer.
Cat: All in all, a 100% successful trip.


Ahhh classic moments.



[This message has been edited by bubbles (edited 21-01-2000).]

WhiteWashMan

smoke me a kipper, SKIPPER, i'll be back for breakfast

GET IT RIGHT!

bubbles

Excuse me Eamo, if that is your real name.
(Kinda has the Anto ring to it )

I am right - I looked it up. He might have said what you said once.

SO GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT

WhiteWashMan

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snip

---

. He might have said what you said once

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snip

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therefore what i wrote was correct.
you have just admitted it.

hush hush sweet charlotte...

bubbles

no Eamo, you implied that my quote was all wrong and that your version was correct. However like I pointed out he used my one all the time, and yours once.

I never said he never said what you said, said fred eating bread in bed.

Get over it, I was right

El_Presidente

I dont see why the word embigens isn't used more often, I mean, its a perfectly cromulent word right?

Asuka

Or the totally inaccurate version that Rimmer spouted : 'Stoke me a clipper, Ill be back for Christmas'

bord na mona firelog

How about the one in bottom where richie asks eddie to try the halloween surprise sprouts and eddie replies with......
"I WOULD RATHER CUT OFF MY PENIS WITH A RUSTY BREADKNIFE".....ade edminson


PS. I RULE

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I burn bigger, brighter and longer than anyone else.....aaaaaaaaarrrrrrr!!!!!!!

Stephen

Another Red Dwarf one:

Kryten: Oh, spin my nipple nuts and send me to Alaska!

---

- Munch
- Visit The Fortress

Hobbes

"I toast, therefore I am"
- The Talking Toaster (Red Dwarf)


"Given that God is infinite, and the Universe is also infinite,
would you like a toasted tea-cake?" - Toaster, Red Dwarf

and lastly (I hope)

Calvin and Hobbes (Bill Watterson): "The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has
never tried to contact us."


[This message has been edited by Hobbes (edited 21-01-2000).]

TwoShedsJackson

'Just thank your lucky stars there's intelligent life somewhere out there, cos there's bugger all down here on Earth!' -- Monty Python

Hobbes

"Would you look at the size of those on that wommin!" - WWMan in the pub.

WhiteWashMan

or

'cor, what an ars e'

koopa to junkie about a serving wench who was ohhh about 12 inches away from him

Paladin

Only Fools and Horses - after Boicy had been to the doctors for a sperm count-
Del: To think all this time he was a Jaffa.
Rodney: Whats a Jaffa?
Del: Seedless


Not sure of exact quote

harVee

"i used to think my dad was elvis.
i haven't told him yet;
i haven't told my dad either."
-belle and sebastian

FreaK_BrutheR

> > > > >>I feel sorry for people who don't
> > > > >>drink. When they wake up in the
> > > > >>morning, that's as good as they're
> > > > >>going to feel all day.
> > > > >>--Frank Sinatra
> > > > >>
> > > > >>The problem with some people is
> > > > >>that when they aren't drunk,
> > > > >>they're sober.
> > > > >>--William Butler Yeats
> > > > >>
> > > > >>An intelligent man is sometimes
> > > > >>forced to be drunk to spend time
> > > > >>with his fools.
> > > > >>--Ernest Hemingway
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Always do sober what you said
> > > > >>you'd do drunk. That will teach
> > > > >>you to keep your mouth shut.
> > > > >>--Ernest Hemingway
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Time is never wasted when you're
> > > > >>wasted all the time.
> > > > >>--Catherine Zandonella
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Non-Drinker: a weak person who
> > > > >>yields to the temptation of
> > > > >>denying himself a pleasure.
> > > > >>--Ambrose Bierce
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Reality is an illusion that occurs
> > > > >>due to lack of alcohol.
> > > > >>--Anonymous
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Drinking provides a beautiful
> > > > >>excuse to pursue the one activity
> > > > >>that truly gives me pleasure,
> > > > >>hooking up with fat hairy girls.
> > > > >>-- Ross Levy
> > > > >>
> > > > >>A woman drove me to drink and I
> > > > >>didn't even have the decency to
> > > >
> > > > >>thank her.
> > > > >>
> > > > >>What contemptible scoundrel has
> > > > >>stolen the cork to my lunch?
> > > > >>--W.C. Fields
> > > > >>
> > > > >>When I read about the evils of
> > > > >>drinking, I gave up reading.
> > > > >>--Henny Youngman
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Life is a waste of time, time is a
> > > > >>waste of life, so get wasted all
> > > > >>of the time and have the time of
> > > > >>your life.
> > > > >>-- Michelle Mastrolacasa
> > > > >>
> > > > >>I'd rather have a bottle in front
> > > > >>of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
> > > > >>--Tom Waits
> > > > >>
> > > > >>24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a
> > > > >>case. Coincidence?
> > > > >>--Stephen Wright
> > > > >>
> > > > >>When we drink, we get drunk. When
> > > > >>we get drunk, we fall asleep.
> > > > >>When we fall asleep, we commit no
> > > > >>sin. When we commit no sin,
> > > > >>we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's
> > > > >>all get drunk, and go to heaven...
> > > > >>-- Brian O'Rourke
> > > > >>
> > > > >>You can't be a real country unless
> > > > >>you have a beer and an airline -
> > > > >>it helps if you have some kind of a
> > > > >>football team, or some nuclear
> > > > >>weapons, but at the very least you
> > > > >>need a beer.
> > > > >>--Frank Zappa
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Always remember that I have taken
> > > > >>more out of alcohol than alcohol
> > > > >>has taken out of me.
> > > > >>--Winston Churchill
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Beer is proof that God loves us
> > > > >>and wants us to be happy.
> > > > >>--Benjamin Franklin
> > > > >>
> > > > >>If you ever reach total
> > > > >>enlightenment while drinking beer,
> > > > >>I bet it makes beer shoot out your
> > > > >>nose.
> > > > >>--Deep Thought, Jack Handy
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Without question, the greatest
> > > > >>invention in the history of mankind
> > > > >>is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
> > > > >>wheel was also a fine invention,
> > > > >>but the wheel does not go nearly
> > > > >>as well with pizza.
> > > > >>--Dave Barry
> > > > >>
> > > > >>The problem with the world is that
> > > > >>everyone is a few drinks behind.
> > > > >>--Humphrey Bogart
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Why is American beer served cold?
> > > > >>So you can tell it from urine.
> > > > >>--David Moulton
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Give me a woman who loves beer and
> > > > >>I will conquer the world.
> > > > >>--Kaiser Wilhelm
> > > > >>
> > > > >>I would kill everyone in this room
> > > > >>for a drop of sweet beer.
> > > > >>--Homer Simpson
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Not all chemicals are bad. Without
> > > > >>chemicals such as hydrogen and
> > > > >>oxygen, for example, there would be
> > > > >>no way to make water, a vital
> > > > >>ingredient in beer.
> > > > >>--Dave Barry
> > > > >>
> > > > >>All right, brain, I don't like you
> > > > >>and you don't like me -
> > > > >>so let's just do this and I'll get
> > > > >>back to killing you with beer.
> > > > >>--Homer Simpson
> > > > >>
> > > > >>If I had a nickel for every beer I've bought;
> > > > >>I'd buy more :-)
> > > > >>-- Priscilla Marsh

Cheez

"Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything." (Plato)

isn't that the loveliest quote ever!

KillGoddo

Errrrr..... Let me think of a useless never-come-true-one.

Ahhh!


Tiocfaidh Ar La

Monty - the one and only

Fogu me..............

Excelsior

Someone once said, "all art eventually aspires to music"

Michael Stipe upon being asked how he dealt with fame:
"I masturbate a lot"

Blitzkrieger

You missed:

>>>I think beer is god's way of saying : "Hey, I can't be everywhere at once". - Jerry Seinfeld.


And the classic Churchill

Lady Astor : "If you were my husband I would poison your drink."

Churchill : "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."