Most wanted invention

Capt'n Midnight · 14-01-2004 09:16PM

Originally posted by blondie83
Thats not going to happen for a while I'm afraid:( . Hiberno-English is composed of about 72 different phonemes (the different sounds that make up words), and each human has a unique way of saying each of them - sort of like a "voice print". When I say unique, I mean uses the same frequencies, pitch ect when they speak.

Be much handier if we spoke a phonetic language like spanish or italian - so what we really need is a sleep learning system that works..

blondie83 · 14-01-2004 09:28PM

Be much handier if we spoke a phonetic language like spanish or italian - so what we really need is a sleep learning system that works..

Thats true, Hiberno English is pretty much the worst cos we have more phonemes then any other dialect. England English has about 35, and I think French has 43 or so. I was trying to figure out why this was, but the best I could come up with was that maybe a lot of English words got ammalgamated into Irish words, and made up new words, or old words with new pronounciations. :dunno:

Ajnag · 14-01-2004 09:38PM

I wanna big robot like a gundam or eva, only Id like them to be the size Jupiter as Ive got issues with certain solar systems.I hate weapons research and all, but if someone starts reseaching 40ft robots Im sold, non-existant soul and all.

rymus · 14-01-2004 10:01PM

a weather machine.. something I can keep in my back pocket so when I go outside in the morning to take the cover off my bike I can set it to sunshine and when I get home at night to rain. Ohhh to be able to control the elements. I know after a week I'd have it set on sunshine constantly and then probably loose the bloody thing.

Agent Smith · 14-01-2004 10:53PM

a pill that turns a woman on and makes them lust after the nearest man possiable.

i.e me

Carbiens · 15-01-2004 02:01AM

beepers on EVERYTHING. from your keys to your phone to the remote control to your lighter,

you know all the **** you lose every during the course of the day, and spend 20 mins trying to find it and then when you find it its like, oh ya thats where i put it, why didnt i think of that 19 ****ING MINUTES AGO!!!

but thats just me.

Faust · 15-01-2004 02:07AM

Originally posted by agent smith
a pill that turns a woman on and makes them lust after the nearest man possiable.

i.e me

Some type of rape drug then...

I am MAN · 15-01-2004 02:50AM

What id like....

"The foreskin dg3000"

A penis implant which has different modes for her and this switch that has PREGNANCY ON/OFF over it, I think that would be pretty cool. Or maybe just a female PREGNANCY ON/OFF switch.

sceptre · 15-01-2004 03:25AM

Originally posted by blondie83
PS sorry if I bored everyone, it's just that I did a project on this last year, and found it really interesting

Interesting post, thanks for that.

Capt'n Midnight · 16-08-2004 07:22PM

blondie83 wrote:

Thats true, Hiberno English is pretty much the worst cos we have more phonemes then any other dialect. England English has about 35, and I think French has 43 or so. I was trying to figure out why this was, but the best I could come up with was that maybe a lot of English words got ammalgamated into Irish words, and made up new words, or old words with new pronounciations. :dunno:

How many in hiberno english ??

AFAIK there are about 140 used by humans and one of the Scandanavian languages gets to about 60 while the san bushmen use up to 120 ....

Tusky · 16-08-2004 07:31PM

A shotgun that fires toasters...

Sleepy · 16-08-2004 07:32PM

Hmmm, a Mrs Sleepy would be nice...

Or if we're just talking about electronics, it'd have to be a holodeck/VR that's indestinguishable from real life until you call up the control panel.

CathyMoran · 16-08-2004 07:39PM

A device that stops you putting your foot in your mouth (or as in my case both feet) - could have done with that today...call it a "diplomacy/tact switch"

pat kenny · 16-08-2004 08:17PM

Knock-out nuke, a bomb on the scale of a nuke that only knocks people out.Drop one on a city and knock everyone out stone cold.Then just move in your troops.

blondie83 · 16-08-2004 08:57PM

Capt'n Midnight wrote:

How many in hiberno english ??

AFAIK there are about 140 used by humans and one of the Scandanavian languages gets to about 60 while the san bushmen use up to 120 ....

120 phonemes? That would be interesting to listen to! Hiberno English has 72 phonemes which is a lot more than most. (Just in case you're worrying, I have this from a very reliable college lecturer who does a lot of research in this field!) :cool:

Musashi · 17-08-2004 09:30AM

Death Ray built into all PCs, on a majority vote , annoying muppets get deaded to Death in the Head like!No more flame wars majority rule turns all forums into "Battle Royale" with the voting pacts of "Big Brother" thrown in.

bus77 · 18-08-2004 07:53PM

pat kenny wrote:

Knock-out nuke, a bomb on the scale of a nuke that only knocks people out.Drop one on a city and knock everyone out stone cold.Then just move in your troops.

gota amputate their arms so they cant attack your troops when they wake up

then put them to work entertaining your nation. Football players.

woosaysdan · 18-08-2004 08:36PM

id love a space ship!!!

Wacker · 18-08-2004 09:42PM

A device that maks the Amish break-dance against their will. For some reason....

fragile · 18-08-2004 11:43PM

The Beer Baron wrote:

1. A pain switch for computers- so when they give you all this crap about errors and illegal operations you can just press the red button that inflicts pain on it.
Until we invent such a thing we will all be slaves to computers instead of the other way around.

or just run Linux :-)

2. A Blackout recorder, a device that records everything you done the previous night so, if you're feeling masocistic, can watch the following night rather than hear it 2nd hand. Can also be used to record cool inpirations and ideas one gets whilst under the influence of thc whereby you're too ****ed and/or lazy to write them down.

Why would you want to remember?

3. Omnigoogle- a cerebral search engine everywhere you go, now you can win every argument, or, if you're pissed off because you can't think of the name of an actor, movie, book, band, or something else "it's on the tip of my tongue- John sometihng!"- just load up Omnigoogle and you can finally forget about it instead of lying up all night trying to think of it.

you mean like a google search through WAP or GPRS on your mobile phone!

4. Song in your head cancellation device. Does exactly what it says in the tin, a device that connects via electrodes to your skull, not only can it get rid of that annoying song in your head but can be used to cancel out all songs heard in shopping centrs, taxis and anywhere else where nacent chart music attempts to drive you insane.

10 mins of Sepultura with the volume way up

5. Robot butlers- I mean c'mawn, it's 2004- they lied to us. Lousey science fiction!
I want a robot butler who'll clean my house, get my beer and cook my dinner. I mean I have a girlfriend but she isn't the best at that sorta thing.

This one I agree with..

6. Robotic retail systems.
Instead of, for example, going to the 24 hour Statoil and dealing with that grumpy bitch who won't sell you wine @ 4pm and trying to stop yourself from breaking your **** laughing and the hell of it all- simply use the touchscreen window- press the nachos icon followed by the number, hit the wine bottle followed by number...etc, etc.

but at least the bitch can be persuaded to sell you wine, if its automated it will be programmed not to sell wine after hours,and there is no arguing with a machine!

7. Robotic barstaff would also be a great idea- no more waiting forever for your pint, or having them forget, or copping an attitude- press the button and voila- a perfect pint of Guinness everytime.

again, try convincing a robot that you just want one more for the road at 1:00AM!

8. Shops for people like me.
For example, instead of the labyrinthine ailes of Tescos and Dunnes, all supermarkets are in one straight line. Instead of flourescent light- they're dimly lit so as not to hurt my ears, and instead of annoying music blaring and screaming brats there's dub reggae and lots of people with dreadlocks.

http://www.tesco.ie/ - order online from the comfort of your own home with dim lighting and reggae music playing in the background :-)

9. Powdered booze.
Feel like a cocktail? Just add water and hey presto! Instant bloody mary, or just vodka on its own- feel like some champagne? Just add water.

I fail to see any advantage this would offer!

10. Government by remote control.
Much like those, "vote now" TV shows- a system where a government can be voted in and out via the phone, internet or SKy Digital- don't like their new policy- just hit your remote control.

No comment.

As for me, all I want is snow covered mountains in Ireland so I dont have to pay for expensive holidays abroad to go snowboarding..

Creature · 19-08-2004 01:45AM

Hmmmm

Well a good old fashioned time machine for starters. One of the fancy types with all the brass knobs and twirly yokes that do feck all but make it look the job. And also an onboard 19th century butler called Winston who sports one of those old fashioned handlebar moustaches and refers to me and "his lordship". Aside from being able to operate the time-machine winston is also a master of some exotic foreign martial art (to defend me against the various radiation-mutated monsters of the future) and can make a damn good cup of tea.

A shapeshifting boat/plane/submarine/spaceship made of liquid metal that can withstand any temperature/pressure and fly at any speed up to the speed of sound.

Most wanted invention

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