Partner’s family helped his brother with a house, but not us—I'm struggling to reconcile this

Mod - Edited to remove quoted post, as requested by quoted poster.

Thank you so much for your reply.
It really touched me — I felt like you put into words so many things I’ve been feeling but didn’t know how to say.

I’m honestly so sorry you’ve had to go through all of that.
It’s heartbreaking the way his parents, especially his mother, have treated you.
You deserved so much more respect, support, and care.
Reading what you wrote, I just kept thinking how strong you must be to have lived through that, because I don't know if I could have handled it with as much grace as you clearly have.

If I’m honest, I really don’t like the way your mother-in-law treated you — you deserved to be celebrated, not ignored and blamed.
It makes me so sad and also angry on your behalf.
Nobody should be made to feel so unwelcome when they’re just trying to build a life with someone they love.

I also wanted to share something that happened recently that's made all of this even harder for me.
My fiancé’s brother told us that the reason their parents bought him a house in Dublin — and kept it a secret from us — was because they think I am "too money-obsessed."

Hearing that honestly broke me a little.
Because this was never about money for me.
It’s about fairness.
It’s about seeing their second son — my fiancé — working hard, struggling, sacrificing so much, and them not even acknowledging it.
It’s about not being invisible.

It hurts that they made this about me instead of just facing how differently they treated their two sons.
It feels like they used me as an excuse to justify something that was never fair to begin with.
I never asked them for anything — I just wanted them to care even a little about the life we’re trying to build.

Reading your story really helped me feel less alone.
It reminded me that I’m not crazy for feeling hurt, and that there are other people who have been through the same kind of thing and still kept their heart intact.
I’m sending you so much love and strength.
You truly deserve all the good things, even if some people couldn’t see that. ❤️

I completely agree with you.
It’s so painful when one child is clearly favored over the other, and it’s hard to understand why anyone would continue to engage with parents who treat their children unequally.

My fiancé and I have always been independent, but when we learned about the house purchase for his older brother — without a single word communicated to us until after the sale was closed — it really shattered his trust in them. He’s been struggling with that a lot, and I get it. It feels like they’re not being open or transparent with us.

They do call him once a week, but after this, it’s hard not to feel like everything is being kept behind closed doors. It’s not about money; it’s about respect and communication. We’re just trying to feel valued and included, but this situation has made that incredibly difficult.