My brother moving home from Australia with wife and 3 year old

only the OP knows his brother. So his own judgement is his decision.

It does seem that 20 years away and his brother has nothing coming home (we don’t know his savings). Seems brother has been living the life without thinking of the future. Now the in-laws have divorced the gravy train has stopped and the “support network” ..ahem…is not there.

20 years ago Australia would have been the ideal place to purchase a home, brother didn’t do that. Even 15 years ago. So here he is, coming back home with a wife and a child to a country that will be out of reach for home. No job, no house and he expects family to support him.

While I understand family ties, the OP should be very wary of not having a timeline in place and agreed.my own brother I would absolutely allow to stay as I know him so well, he hates being dependent on anyone. Is a “go-getter”.

Living in your own, now having three additional house guests without a plan, is going to be life altering. Rent, utilities even food are going to be bones of contention. I just hope that any negative feelings won’t result in the loss of brotherly love.

What happens if brother wife and child cannot make it here? Are you stuck with them? Lots to think about OP.

Yeah fair enough point about the parents.

I know toxic family dynamics exist but I assume OP wouldn't even consider it if the relationship was 'toxic'

OP is asking

 if I decided to let them stay here how long do I let them stay and how much if any rent should I charge them ?

The thing is, you can have all the agreements in the world and they can be made in the utmost good faith but there's no guarantee that they'll happen.

If the brother said he'd enough money to cover 6 months to a years rent but needs a stop gap between getting off the plane and finding a property and work that would be one thing.

However if there was a plan and if the brother was generally reliable I don't think the OP would be here asking the question.

I'd also be very wary of the potential of baby number 2 arriving....they've been there 20 yrs so hitting their 40's , the OP doesn't say how old the partner is but one would assume 35ish...so the window is closing....that means she's out of the picture from a work point of view ...plus living with a newborn is zero craic.

What happens if the agreed date comes and goes? Does the OP just pack up their stuff and leave it in the garden, change the locks? No of course they won't do that.

So the 11th of November becomes the 12th of never!

Seriously dodge the bullet before the gun is even loaded.

I have a friend who bought a doer upper and purposefully keeps only one bedroom finished as he knows if it were done the family would pressure him to take in a brother whose life is chaotic.

Family is family, but we don't choose it so there's no reason to invite chaos into the space you worked to create for yourself.

Im extremely thankful for the safe environment my parents created for myself and all my siblings, but that doesn't mean I want to be around all my siblings as adults.

I still appreciate all my siblings but one turned into a manipulative control freak as an adult to the point where I'm only comfortable in their presence if there's witnesses.

Some people treat family as doormats, it's a fact.

While i understand that I certainly wouldn’t let a relative dictate what I do with my own property. That would be a No from me- they’ll always be like that so it’s up to them to find their own way.

not sure I’d want to live with a toddler again,

If they had jobs and childcare sorted then yes I’d offer to help and set a time limit. Unemployed people in my house while I worked I’m not so sure.

I’d be sharing all utilities for sure and I’d expect them to buy their own food and do their own housework. How big is your house? Will you have to share a bathroom with them? Will you have Lego in your sitting room etc.

Your parents might be retired and be more willing to put them up, after all they once had toddlers in their house.

Who's dictating?

OP… stop reading all these replies (especially the one asking you to fill a room with a lodger) and read this one…

Your brother and his wife survived 20 years in Australia. He's not your son. He's not your problem. He's a grown man. With a wife and kid. And I assume some money in the bank and a home in Oz?

Grow a pair, and tell him no! You live alone. You have a life and your own house. Hat tip, sir. If one of my 3 brothers pulled a stunt like that with me - they'd get a rude awakening. Being suddenly homeless and needing family help is one thing. Using family as a crutch is another!

If he can't afford to rent or buy here after 20 years in Oz - he never will. And you'll be stuck with them (and any future kids) for YEARS! How are you going to live your life, meet someone (if you haven't already), have kids, etc…

Your brother needs to give his head a wobble! And maybe you do as well.

I would say the brother knows well that the parents are where they will end up but might not want to go there.

By hinting, he's throwing up a high ball to see do you catch it!

OP any further thoughts on this as you have had a lot or replies but not much interaction?

I live in Ireland with 2 kids and no support (each set of grandparents is a 4 hour drive in a different direction), and we didn't find it necessary to move to be closer to family.