I walked out of work…Need Advice

cannellini_bean · 08-10-2023 03:12AM #1

This needs a little bit of back story. I’ll try to keep it short.

I’ve worked in a small local shop since 2007. My sister also works with me and my brother worked in the Post Office in the premises until January, when he died suddenly from a brain hemerage. After my brothers death we were pressured into returning to work before we were ready as “the customers needed us”.

My brother used to do all the office work/admin stuff for the shop as well as the post office so when he died things got very chaotic. My boss continually told us how hard my brother’s death was for her. She struggled to run the shop herself and the atmosphere got more and more stressful.

The day before I walked out I found my sister crying uncontrollably behind the counter at work. Initially I thought it was because of our brother so I told her go in the back and take a few minutes. In the meantime our boss left for the day. When my sister came out she told me she was upset because our boss had called her into the office and shouted and swore at her because a customer forgot to pay for fuel. (This is a customer that lives locally and is in the shop 2/3 times a day so no problem to get payment). I texted our boss and told her how much she’d upset my sister and that if she’d end up losing her staff if she continued to treat us so bad.

The following day she called me into the office and started shouting at me that it’s none of my business how she treats my sister and that she’s the boss and can swear at us if she wants. She also told me that she’d been “advised” that me saying she was going to lose her staff was a threat. She then started to get very confrontational and I just said that I couldn’t deal with it anymore and I’d give her my notice. She said she needed it in writing and I told her I’d bring it in the following day. Then I went back to work. 30 seconds later she called me back into the office and said “I’m not putting up with you for another 2 **** weeks”. I was shocked and just said “ok, I’ll go now”.

I went to my gp to check my blood pressure as since my brother died so young and so suddenly I’m becoming paranoid about my health. He said I was suffering from ptsd from losing my brother and also had severe anxiety and stress. He advised me not to make any rash decisions about work and gave me a medical cert for a month. I’m also put me on an anti-depressant/anti anxiety medication.

I have been sending in monthly certs since May and yesterday my boss told me that I have to give her weekly certs and she also wants a detailed report on my medical status. She also said emailed certs are not acceptable.

I don’t know what to do. I feel like she’s trying to back me into a corner where I’ve no choice but to hand in my notice. My sisters dr has also just signed her off after she had a breakdown 2 weeks ago because of work. And another full time employee retired because she couldn’t take it anymore. 4 part time staff have also left. The workplace has become so toxic that no one wants to stay.

I’m so sorry for the long post but felt that I needed to explain my situation.

Can anyone advise me what to do and what my rights are?

Also, some additional info:

Im working in the shop since 2007 and have never got a payslip.

Everyone in the shop also works in the deli handing food and no one has HAACP training because my boss wouldn’t organise it.

Our boss has an app on her phone where she can watch the cctv cameras in the shop and has admitted in texts to watching everyone for hours at a time when she’s not there.

No one was ever given a copy of their contract.

iniscealtra · 08-10-2023 03:30AM

If you’re not happy at work look for another job.

It was not your business to talk to the boss about your sister. She is correct about that. You should support your sister but she is a grown woman and should deal with her work issues herself.

I’m sorry for your loss. Losing a family member is difficult.

if you need to give a written cert just drop it in. As long as you have the cert and are informing your boss regarding going back to work or not your medical issues are also your own business.

FishOnABike · 08-10-2023 06:24AM

Your boss is not entitled to any information about your medical condition, let alone detailed reports. The medical cert only has to indicate whether you are fit to work or not.

If your boss will not accept emailed medical certs has she insisted they must be delivered in person? Can you post the medical certificate to her instead?

screamer · 08-10-2023 07:16AM

I’m sorry to read that you lost your brother so young and unexpectedly, that must be hard.

Do you want to work there or stay working there? That’s the question you need to decide. Meanwhile don’t worry about what your boss is demanding. Post in your certs by registered post to her. It will cost a few quid but she can’t say she didn’t get them. As for a detailed medical report, she is not entitled to know the details of your illness, all she is entitled to know is whether, in the doctors opinion you are fit for work or not. She’s not even entitled to know the nature of your illness unless you want to tell her. Your doctor will know all about this so do confide in them, they will create a report with as little info as you’re happy to provide. If your boss is not happy with that then tell her you will attend another GP but she must pay and tell them that you want the minimal info shared that they must provide and if you’re not happy to let her know about the nature of illness you have, they cannot share it. It’s simply a fit for work or not. Also request a copy of the report they send her.

I wish you lots of luck, take the time. To think about your future and what you want out of life, and you’ll make the right decision for yourself.

893bet · 08-10-2023 09:20AM

Realisticallt it’s a toxic environment and it will not change now.

The good news is you have plenty of “shop” experience and shops are always desperate for staff.

Find another shop, a larger more professional one if possible and move on with your life.

Big Bag of Chips · 08-10-2023 09:34AM

I think a change of work environment would do you and your sister's health the world of good. You know this is not just you who are struggling. Other staff have left due to the owner/manager of the business. So start applying to other places to work. As soon as you get somewhere hand in your notice, and your final sick cert to your employer and don't ever think about her or her staffing issues again.

You are grieving the loss of your brother, but your work situation is actually what is contributing to your ongoing sick leave. I'm sure the thoughts of ever stepping foot back into that shop for a job has your anxiety through the roof.

Realistically you have no intention of ever returning, so move on. Apply to other shops. You don't need to explain to prospective employers why you left your previous job but the fact you've worked there for 16 years will show you are a loyal and dependable employee. If asked why you are leaving you can explain that since your brother died working in the same place has become very difficult for you.

championc · 08-10-2023 09:44AM

I wouldn't give that woman the use of my talents. By all accounts, she has no business if it wasn't for you and your siblings.

It's not a spiteful thing - both of you now need to get out of that toxic environment, and move on - or consider making an offer to buy out the business.

Augme · 08-10-2023 09:50AM

Contact a solicitor. There's multiple things she is doing that are against employment legislation.

Blind As A Bat · 08-10-2023 09:57AM

Sorry to hear about your difficulties. Sounds like you've had a pretty bad year. The first year after such a loss is a very tough time and your boss doesn't sound like the most understanding person. Now with the first Christmas coming up and then your brother's first anniversary it must be really hard for you. So, sending kind thoughts your way 🙏

It's not clear from your post exactly how long ago the showdown with your boss happened but it seems it was a few months ago? And you've been off sick since then? It's also not clear whether you live in a small town or village where it might be difficult to find alternative employment.

What exactly do you want? Do you want to go back to work there at some point in the future and you want the boss to hold your job for you? Or do you want to bring some sort of legal case against her, if so for what?

If you can possibly have done with her and make a fresh start when you're ready to go back to work, that would be best.

As to your emotional health and your sister's , could you try to get some kind of grief counselling or something? Even a chat with the Samaritans or similar over the phone might help you a bit when you're feeling down.

Re your rights, I'd say get in touch with one of the workers' rights services who can advise you.

https://workersrightscentre.ie/

https://www2.hse.ie/mental-health/services-support/bereavement/

Best of luck with everything.

Mrs OBumble · 08-10-2023 11:14AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121208529#Comment_121208529

It is true that there are multiple things wrong.

But taking them to the WRC would take time, money and a lot of emotional energy.

I would suggest asking the GP for a referral to a counsellor, who can help you work out if this is a fight worth having.

It may be better for the OP to just step away and let karma deal with the manager.

Augme · 08-10-2023 11:48AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121208735#Comment_121208735

It's actually a very easy process, and realistically it would be settled long before it made the WRC. They don't even have to contact a solicitor but worth doing as it makes the easy process even easier.

Also, I agree with a counsellor route too, but they aren't cheap and the money the OP can make from a claim would be very useful for covering that cost.

cannellini_bean · 08-10-2023 11:56AM

Thanks for all the kind replies. I really appreciate it. Honestly I can’t see myself going back in there, but if I hand in my notice I’ll have to go back in the work the 2 weeks. And I cannot do that right now.

cannellini_bean · 08-10-2023 12:00PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121208856#Comment_121208856

I don’t think I could afford a solicitor. Do you think I’d have a case? What would the case be?

893bet · 08-10-2023 12:03PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121208886#Comment_121208886

Hand your notice and put in a cert or just dont show up. You can choose to not step foot in there again. You have all th power.

08-10-2023 12:11PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121208529#Comment_121208529

This ^^

I am so sorry about your brother.

I think your sister should also consult a solicitor, maybe you could go together.

Augme · 08-10-2023 12:28PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121208907#Comment_121208907

Yes, A very strong case. A employer must provide a statement of terms(employment terms, so basically snd contract) and an employer must provide a payslip every time an employee is paid. There's other potential issues but a solicitor would need more details to give a definitive answer.

Find a solicitor who'll does no win, no fee. But most solicitors would be happy to take your case I'd say as its a guaranteed winner. Find one and have a conversation with them and see what they say re payment. You've nothing to lose from a conversation.

Also, don't hand in your notice until you speak to a solicitor.

08-10-2023 12:33PM

I don't mean to add to your woes, but one thing about your post concerns me greatly.

Did your boss look after the shop's payroll personally? If your brother did it as part of the admin, you're probably okay but your boss sounds very shady.

The fact that you've never received a payslip or a copy of your employment contract is a red flag.

Do you get a Tax Credit Certificate from Revenue every year, stating what your tax credits are?

I presume you are receiving Illness Benefit now, but I would be concerned that your PRSI contributions have not always been made / kept up to date for the full term of your 16 years employment.

You should check with the Dept of Social Protection as to your record of contributions. You can get a statement of your PRSI contributions online at www.mywelfare.ie

Mrs OBumble · 08-10-2023 01:08PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121209001#Comment_121209001

this advice is all correct.

But the need to "don't hand in your notice until you speak to a solicitor." is only the start of what I meant by the emotional cost of taking a case. A lot of things (eg no contract) would come down to the OP's word vs the employers. If the employer has a ~~good~~ clever solicitor, then the OP's mental state may be seriously screwed with by them.

Though the process of taking a case is easy, the preparation and presentation is not.

And even if you win the case, there's no guarantee that the OP will actually get the cash that the WRC awards. They employer may simply wind up the business. There are lots of tricks they can do as part of this which mean there's no cash to make the payment. Worst case, the neighbourhood may hate you if it means they lose their post-office.

Escapees · 08-10-2023 01:35PM

The phrase 'just let it go' comes to mind. You've enough going on and to deal with outside of work.

Note also that it sounds from the 'additional information' at the end of your post that you had gripes all along with aspects of your work and were possibly not happy there anyway.

gameoverdude · 08-10-2023 01:38PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121208886#Comment_121208886

Plus you were 100% right to defend your sister.

Text might not been the best idea. But you were right.

apache · 08-10-2023 01:47PM

Very scabby move of your boss demanding weekly medical certs again. That sounds like a very stressful situation.

Escapees · 08-10-2023 01:51PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121208886#Comment_121208886

Sorry, I missed this post. I doubt very much that you would have to go back to work out your notice given that you have a medical cert. Maybe someone here can confirm this but I would presume you can just hand in your notice and that's that.

In terms of what the regular customers would think afterwards, I'm sure you will be able to put out your side of the story if nec.

cannellini_bean · 08-10-2023 02:06PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121209022#Comment_121209022

My brother did the wages up until January. I can use my PRSI for the dentist and optician so I presume it’s all above board.

08-10-2023 03:17PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121209475#Comment_121209475

That's good so. At least you know you can check on that website.

You'd be amazed the amount of people who go to make claims for SW payments and discover that their contributions were never made. One of the signs of a dodgy employer is no payslips issued.

bucketybuck · 08-10-2023 03:22PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121208886#Comment_121208886

You don't "have" to do anything, and certainly not 2 weeks notice. Just what do you think happens if you simply never turn up there again?

Frankly I'm not sure what the exact question is here. You are not a slave, there is nothing they can do to you so walk away and never look back, what is it that you need to clarify?

08-10-2023 03:26PM

"I walked out of work…Need Advice"

Look for a new job. Seems to be plenty of opportunities out there.

gameoverdude · 08-10-2023 03:27PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121209794#Comment_121209794

Read the op. Bit more detail to situation.

Augme · 08-10-2023 03:33PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121209165#Comment_121209165

We can spent lots of time coming up with stories as to how this will end. Maybe he will be award enough money that he can buy the post office himself? Who knows.

That's why a conversation with a professional who works in the area is the best approach to take.

08-10-2023 03:35PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121209800#Comment_121209800

Ok

Options

Leave the job

Stay out sick

Return to work

Actions being hinted at

Report them to revenue, and

Report them to health authority..if that will make them feel better

gameoverdude · 08-10-2023 03:42PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121209823#Comment_121209823

What? Your options are so simplistic and not helpful.

OP: take your time deciding. No hurry. You've had a massive heartbreak and the owners worries are not your worry. She'll be absolutely fecked without you.

Grieve and you'll find a better position. You and your sister will support each other. Look up jobs and give two fingers.

JIdontknow · 08-10-2023 03:47PM

Don’t be guilt tripped or hoodwinked into thinking you, or any other staff is a valued asset or that the customers need you.. the reality is SHE needs you, she needs staff to keep the business running, taking in profit etc. the question is do you WANT to work there? Do you need to work there? Delis petrol Stations, shops etc are always looking for people, and you have plenty skill knowledge and experience so if it is toxic and causing you stress etc then look into your options. Also, sorry for your loss. Something like that is never easy to go through so make sure you look after yourself and take whatever time and support you need (and your sister too).

I walked out of work…Need Advice

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