Was arrested for shop lifting

CramCycle · 20-07-2023 10:48AM

OP, if it was an accident and you want to shop there again, ring the store, talk to the manager and apologise. They either take it or they don't. Do not tell your friends the story, that is just silly.

You aren't in trouble, you got a warning, leave it at that. The way some gone around here is bizarre. Security guard was probably just trying to scare you but if it were true, the gardai probably would have went further. Just leave it at that.

Personally I wouldn't go back because like it or not, that security guard, rightly or wrongly is probably going to be keeping an eye on you, or you may even be barred. Take the warning, hang your bags on the hooks at the back of the trolley, only put them in when packing, job done.

Kimbot · 20-07-2023 11:00AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120872592#Comment_120872592

I drove off from a petrol station a few weeks ago without paying, about 5 minutes after I drove off I remembered and pulled in straight away to ring them and let them know I forgot to pay but would be back to them within 2 hours and sort the payment out. In fairness they were super nice about it, i got back to the petrol station mortified and paid it all up.

suvigirl · 20-07-2023 11:15AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120872819#Comment_120872819

It's only defamation if it is false and said to a third person. If he just said it to her, no defamation.

FrancieBrady · 20-07-2023 11:21AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120874126#Comment_120874126

Yeh, so ask him for the proof. If he can’t back it up then he needs to retract and apologise.

kirving · 20-07-2023 11:24AM

The security guards has a job to do, and needs to show that they're getting results. Even if he knew well that it was an accident, he needs to justify him being there.

The Gardai knew that there was no point taking it any further than a caution. They can't let it off entirely, or the shop would be making complaints too.

A few years ago I was in a petrol station in a nice area. A guy has put under €20 fuel in before realising he had forgotten his wallet. He walked in, gave his details and reg, and said he'd come back to pay later. The staff member called the Gardai because "that's the policy". Three Gardai arrived and were very pissed off about the whole situation - total waste of their time, so just told the guy to pay when he got a chance.

Another time, in the same petrol station chain, but a much worse area, my sister forgot her wallet. She walked in, and the staff member just said to come in within the next two weeks to pay. It totally depends on whether staff have a bit of leniency or not.

FrancieBrady · 20-07-2023 11:37AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120874206#Comment_120874206

My son works in retail and said that the gardai wouldn’t normally issue a caution in this situation. Given they were a long time customer and first offence. The manager/security person making the claim they did seems to have upgraded it. Find out what that was based on would be my goal.

suvigirl · 20-07-2023 11:56AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120874302#Comment_120874302

It was based on the fact that she shoplifted. She could have been prosecuted, she received an adult caution instead. The shop probably has a policy of all shoplifters will be prosecuted. Which is their right.

FrancieBrady · 20-07-2023 12:10PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120874425#Comment_120874425

It was a claim and not backed up and contested by the OP

He said I had goods in my trolley I had not paid for and he said he has been watching me for months and knows I shop lift !.

I wouldn’t be a wallflower about that serious allegation.

runningbuddy · 20-07-2023 12:20PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120874302#Comment_120874302

The Sergeant I spoke to said when a business calls them they must respond. Even if it relates to a 50c bar of chocolate or a €500 item. As I did leave the store with items not paid for as they checked the receipt so I really couldn't deny it. I was told I could refuse the adult caution which is my right but Sergeant said this would mean it goes to Court. Expensive for me as I would need a solicitor. The receipt is there in black and white and then I could well be charged/fined and this could seriously go against me. It is my job I am concerned about. I was told an adult caution is not on my record.

20-07-2023 12:23PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120874533#Comment_120874533

Let it go, nothing good can come of drawing anymore attention to the op’s actions. She has already admitted she left the store without paying for a lot of items, and is uncertain that it hasn’t happened in the past. This could have been a lot worse, as others have said, op needs to take steps to ensure her actions aren’t repeated, then put it down to an unfortunate sequence of circumstances. Getting all Karen about it will just make matters worse, with no upside.

FrancieBrady · 20-07-2023 12:25PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120874611#Comment_120874611

Fair enough. It’s your decision. Just saying I would want to know why the shop was able to make the allegation they did.

If you are going to let it go then the shop is off limits going forward.

Oscar_Madison · 20-07-2023 12:29PM

OP- did you seek legal advice on this at all before the option of an Adult caution was offered to you?

An Adult caution could well come up on Garda vetting for certain positions either voluntary or work related- I wouldn’t exactly be pleased having to accept that if I had indeed made a terrible one off mistake.

I guess you know best what you feel you can handle to make this experience end but getting advice from a solicitor no less a doctor may well be money well spent.

I have to say I’ll be Uber paranoid now when doing the weekly shop- I always have an empty trolley and place the reusable bags on the trolly hook only but even then there have been a couple of times I’ve left the shop with maybe a small stray item tucked into the corner of the trolly that went unnoticed- of course I went back to the shop straight away - these things can and do happen - I’m a regular customer too so they could just as easily have claimed I’ve been doing that for years - sounds like supermarkets are not making allowances for genuine mistakes and are tarring all with the same brush?

A better way that I saw in a shop in France is essentially quickly inspect every trolley exiting the store to ensure no unpurchased items are there in the trolley

FrancieBrady · 20-07-2023 12:31PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120874637#Comment_120874637

How could asking a question make it worse?

They can either back up or can’t, in which case an apology is owed. If OP is sure(as they say) they didn’t shoplift before then they are doing things unaware to themselves in which case help is needed. Personally I would need to know.

20-07-2023 12:39PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120874674#Comment_120874674

Op could have it confirmed that she is a serial thief, and others can prove what they say about her. Who wants to know that? Particularly when the op has stated as fact that she walked without paying for a lot of items, and is uncertain whether she had done it in previous occasions.

Sometimes Francie, you just have to accept responsibility, acknowledge the mistake made, and move on with your life.

FrancieBrady · 20-07-2023 12:40PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120874710#Comment_120874710

OP was looking for advice. I gave mine. I wouldn’t be a wallflower and meekly accept

20-07-2023 12:47PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120874664#Comment_120874664

You missed the bit where she admitted walking out with several unpaid items under her bags?

FrancieBrady · 20-07-2023 12:51PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120874767#Comment_120874767

By accident. Happens all of us. And I know from somebody who works on retail that gardai would not normally issue a caution in a situation like this. Something escalated it.

Why if they previously observed the OP shoplifting did they not intervene? Might it be they were bullshitting? Why would you not question this?

20-07-2023 12:52PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120874726#Comment_120874726

Perhaps the shop might therefore be more inclined to press charges in your case, and if you worked in legal & compliance like the op, hat would make for an interesting conversation at work.

Francie, sometimes using common sense and choosing the least path of resistance is the best approach.

suvigirl · 20-07-2023 12:56PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120874789#Comment_120874789

How is someone that works in retail an expert on what gardai do?

A shop calls gardai because they have a shoplifter, gardai come and do their job. Just because whatever shop your son works in don't bother to report thefts, doesn't mean all shops do. Most shops have a policy of prosecuting all.shoplifters.

20-07-2023 12:57PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120874789#Comment_120874789

I wonder what the most common excuse offered by shoplifters is? I’m not saying that applies to the op, some are genuine mistakes, but Francie, few if any thieves admit to intentional shoplifting.

Maybe, just maybe they did cut the op some slack at earlier incidents, particularly if she is a long standing customer, but the large headset may have been the final straw. Who knows, what we do know is what the op told us, which is that she walked out with quite a few unpaid items.

If you want to argue the toss, risk a conviction and job problems, when you have been offered a less serious sanction, then more fool you.

FrancieBrady · 20-07-2023 12:57PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120874795#Comment_120874795

Why did they not progress it if they had evidence before?

A person being concerned as to why they reached that assessment of them and wanting to put things right if they had unknowingly done wrong, is not a bad thing.

What if this mysterious condition - shoplifting unknown to yourself - occurs somewhere else?

FrancieBrady · 20-07-2023 12:59PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120874808#Comment_120874808

Who the hell claimed expertise? I claimed they had experience.

20-07-2023 01:04PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120874824#Comment_120874824

Lots of thieves would look to be diagnosed with this “mysterious condition” you mention, where would they obtain such a diagnoses? Could it be a courthouse?

runningbuddy · 20-07-2023 01:08PM

Thanks again everyone. I asked about a solicitor when the adult caution was discussed and the Sergeant said yes, I was obviously entitled to do so but Solicitor would no doubt advise to take it. I perhaps naively trusted the Sergeant. He said the adult caution was the best course as I would not have a record. The only issue is, if it ever happened again, charges would be brought. He said if it went to court, it is costly, stressful and there is a chance of prosecution.

Mrs OBumble · 20-07-2023 01:09PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120874664#Comment_120874664

Why on earth would you not accept an adult-caution for a "terrible one-off mistake" - when the alternative is a conviction?

The OP has admitted that she left the store without paying for several items.

The OP got off very lightly this time, and needs to make sure it doesn't happen again if they value their employability.

FrancieBrady · 20-07-2023 01:25PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120874888#Comment_120874888

It's up to the OP. They have fairly vociferously said they are NOT a thief and this was a one off lapse in memory.

They have a choice, live with wondering about their past, live with the possibility of it happening again or ask a question.

I have given my view. It's entirely up to them what they do.

runningbuddy · 20-07-2023 01:25PM

Ms O bumble. I accepted the adult caution as I just want it done and forgotten about. I still have to meet with the Inspector which is a bit confusing but Sergeant said it is basically a 5 minute lecture on shop lifting 😐️. I can accept all of this but what is bothering me is Security comment about him watching me and knows I have done it in the past. I have not slept thinking - did I have some sort of blackout and steal?? (which logically I know I didn't) but I am really not thinking logically at all. If I he knew I shoplifted in the past, should he not have stopped me there and then???

FrancieBrady · 20-07-2023 01:29PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120875036#Comment_120875036

It is that conundrum my advice is based on. If you genuinely didn't shoplift previously this 'not knowing' will fester. Go to the store, or write to them, tell them you want to know as if you have a condition you want to put it right and them right for what you previously took.

Oscar_Madison · 20-07-2023 01:39PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120874935#Comment_120874935

Why? Because it was a genuine mistake according to the OP- I would place a bet that this case would never have seen the inside of a courtroom. The security guard successfully frightened the bejazuz out of the OP, claiming they had evidence she had shoplifted before- considering they’d need excellent footage of her shielding goods I sincerely doubt that.

Maybe the OP has some unconscious condition that she steels goods unknown to herself but I’ve never heard of that before - only the OP really knows the full truth here but if I had mistakenly left the shop without paying for goods, I’d never in a million years accept an adult caution - I’d take my chances with a good solicitor - it’s very likely this would never get to court in the first place anyway as the supermarket would know there’s an element of reasonable doubt in this case.

Oscar_Madison · 20-07-2023 01:42PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120875035#Comment_120875035

Totally agree- mad accepting an adult caution if it was a genuine mistake- - you’re essentially admitting you stole which is not what the OP claims happened - she has what appears to be a reasonable excuse- menopause /forgetfulness etc

Was arrested for shop lifting

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