One of the lads never spends a penny

boardsie12 · 16-04-2022 10:42AM #1

So I've had a mate for a good few years, sometimes he's completely unbearable.

He isn't and has never been able to spend money, regardless of the occasion.

All he does is talk about money this, money that, money that, money this, how much does such and such make?, how much did you manage to save last month?, how much is your rent? How much was your shopping this week......

I met him for a coffee recently, I paid for the first and he paid for the second and there was a 30 cent, yes a 30 cent, price difference between mine and his. As soon as he sat down, he mentioned that I owe him 30 cent.

I passed him in Dunnes a few days later and he was roaming around the discount section, his life is carved out in such a way and he is living by the bare minimum and none of us can understand why he chooses to live like this.

It's gotten to an extreme level now and he's started asking everyone for a receipt everywhere that he goes and collects them in his wallet, bars, restaurants, shops and so on.

We're all wondering why it's getting worse and worse, he's in his 30's, but he's acted like this since he was a kid. He doesn't have a family or a misses and if he keeps this routine up, it's difficult to see him ever getting a woman.

We don't know how to approach it, like when he comes to play football with us every so often, we never ask him for petrol money, but we know 100% that he would be the one asking for petrol money if it was his car and if he was driving us.

We're getting uncomfortable around him now, almost every conversation has to revolve around money, nothing else is important or relevant.

Do you know anyone like this?

What's the best way to approach it without being left frustrated?

sam t smith · 16-04-2022 10:44AM

Sounds like he is as tight as a gnats chuff. From Cavan?

Ubbquittious · 16-04-2022 11:00AM

I know a fella who phoned one of his mates to ask him to check if he had left 20c in the backseat of his car (after he getting a lift off him for free of course)

SuperBowserWorld · 16-04-2022 11:03AM

Maybe he's from a very poor background or his parents put terrible anxiety on him re money.

Or he's just really really tight.

16-04-2022 11:05AM

Has he tried castor oil?

sam t smith · 16-04-2022 11:11AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118934362#Comment_118934362

is that good for bowel movements? Would you recommend it?

Dr Turk Turkelton · 16-04-2022 11:18AM

Just stop hanging out with him, life's too short.

Atlantic Dawn · 16-04-2022 11:19AM

Better off to cold shoulder and ditch friends like this, they are pure toxic.

JupiterKid · 16-04-2022 11:24AM

There’s a few people in my life who are tight with money and rather mean (it’s a very bad character trait, IMO) but people like the mate of the OP are fixated and obsessed about money to the point of being mentally ill.

I think that the OP’s friend is beyond tight and needs psychiatric and or psychological help.

freshpopcorn · 16-04-2022 11:25AM

I think generally it comes from the parents.

I was friends with a guy when we were younger and he'd never buy anything.

My parents used always say they were known for being a tight family.

We drifted apart and now I started talking to him to him last Summer.

It was all money, money,how poor he was and a general poor me attitude!

He brought up wanting to sue a coffee shop because some waitress Spilt coffee on the table or something.

Honestly I wasted to much time on him.

BrianD3 · 16-04-2022 11:26AM

In the words of Madonna:

"Only boys that save their pennies make my rainy day".

Tight fcukers and assholes get women all the time - the idea being that they are tight with others but generous with a woman, allowing them to, in effect, get one over on other men.

Pissing off your "friends" by asking for something as small 30c for a coffee is probably silly though, People who may be useful to him in the future will avoid him. He may win the battle (30c) but lose the war.

bucketybuck · 16-04-2022 11:27AM

Have you considered speaking to him? Telling him he is a mean **** and its pissing everybody off?

I know it would be crazy for friends to speak to each other but these are crazy times so you might get away with it.

magicbastarder · 16-04-2022 11:28AM

Am I the only one who saw the thread title and thought 'what do you mean, he holds his piss in?'

sam t smith · 16-04-2022 11:33AM

^ perhaps he uses a colostomy bag?

Lewis_Benson · 16-04-2022 11:37AM

Must be a Cavan man.

Furze99 · 16-04-2022 11:41AM

Saving for a deposit for a gaff?? Might have no problem getting a woman then :)

thefallingman · 16-04-2022 11:52AM

What difference does having a ‘misses’ make, you’re in your 30’s op is the biggest shock to me, who cares what food he eats, if you can’t have an adult conversation with him just don’t hang out with him.Weird thread

HildaOgdenx · 16-04-2022 12:54PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118934418#Comment_118934418

I agree, a horrible trait, and it becomes an absolute obsession with some people.

I have had colleagues in the past who were incredibly stingy. They would have hung teabags out on the line, I would say, and probably did, in their own homes. In both cases, very well off, partly through inheritances but also well paid jobs - both themselves and their spouses.

Pawwed Rig · 16-04-2022 01:16PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118934359#Comment_118934359

It could be this alright. My Dad was a real skinflint and it definitely affected the way I view money. It was always save save save when we were kids and just live with the ragged clothes and shoes. My inclination is still to ask what things cost everytime something new comes into the house although I try not to. My wife is the complete opposite 😅

SuperBowserWorld · 16-04-2022 01:20PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118934760#Comment_118934760

Ok, good balance there ,😅

terryduff12 · 16-04-2022 01:54PM

Maybe which ever one of ye is closet to him, have a chat with him that he needs to cop on a bit. It isn't normal what he is going on with and if he keeps going down this road it will be by himself. Im sure it wont be a pleasant chat but some Tough love might get through to him.

fryup · 16-04-2022 01:59PM

a farmer's son i bet ya

Leg End Reject · 16-04-2022 02:49PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118934689#Comment_118934689

Usually the more money they have, the worse they get. I agree with Jupiter that there must be a psychological reason behind it. Hoarding money and living a fairly miserable life for nothing, it's no use being the wealthiest in the graveyard.

HildaOgdenx · 16-04-2022 03:11PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118935132#Comment_118935132

No pockets in the shroud, as the old saying goes.

It's funny how something sticks in your mind - I remember the one I worked with more recently (but still ages ago) loosening the purse strings one Christmas to buy whatever geegaw was popular with kids that year. Not a big or expensive thing, something like a diary maybe with whatever tv character was in, at the time. I would say the child couldn't believe it, tbh.

Dial Hard · 16-04-2022 06:40PM

Tightness is a terrible character trait and I genuinely couldn't be friends with someone like that. As the saying goes, some people know the price of everything and the value of nothing. It must be a horrible way to live your life.

AyeGer · 16-04-2022 06:51PM

Miserliness of this level OP is deeply unattractive trait in a person. Tell him to stop obsessing about money and stop being a miserable fecker.

AyeGer · 16-04-2022 06:56PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118934481#Comment_118934481

Imagine he does marry and the wife cleans him after the divorce. He’d be in therapy for the rest of his days.

16-04-2022 07:01PM

I doubt he would pay for therapy.

He'd be moaning to anyone who would listen.

16-04-2022 07:07PM

It's a sickness!

I knew a couple of lads like this but you've got to move on.

Loafing Oaf · 16-04-2022 07:10PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118934440#Comment_118934440

And even if he did let it out he wouldn't give you the steam of it...

NSAman · 16-04-2022 07:11PM

Order a full round of drinks, then make sure you nod to the server when they are ready and gradually run out the door leaving him to pay….works a treat!

One of the lads never spends a penny

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