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Married Men - A Gay Lads View - Have you ever had an experience?

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    #152
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118450785#Comment_118450785

    Hehe my own sexuality has never confused me. Everyone else's is a baffling mystery to me :)



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    #153
    monkeybutter
    Registered Users Posts: 3,518 ✭✭✭monkeybutter


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118450795#Comment_118450795

    thats what confused people say all the time, i mean you are so straight you havent even been able to learn from years of experience what women typically find attractive



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    #154
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118450813#Comment_118450813

    Not sure I see the connection between the two? My sexuality and vicarious evaluation of someone else's would appear to be separate things to me. Genuinely do not know what point you are making?



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    #155
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,111 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118450550#Comment_118450550

    Not at my end anyway. My attraction to non commital right on waffle that actually says bugger all concrete would be approaching zero, no matter the trouser tackle involved.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #156
    monkeybutter
    Registered Users Posts: 3,518 ✭✭✭monkeybutter


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118450827#Comment_118450827

    see i knew you were confused

    you claimed you wouldn't be able to tell which one out of a group of men a woman would be most likely to find the most attractive

    because you are so straight

    you are claiming that you would have to go to the extremes of Johnny vegas and bradley pitt to be able to tell the difference

    unless you have face blindness, is that it?



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    #157
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,111 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118450665#Comment_118450665

    Yeah I could never get this idea oh I'm straight so can't spot a good looking man thing. I'd have a pretty fair idea in general if a guy is going to be getting more, or less for that matter, attention from women(it's not just down to obvious looks either). Maybe it's some innate competition thing? I've very good gaydar too. Mind you I reckon I picked that up from Gay guys I know. Neither have any bearing on my orientation.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #158
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118450176#Comment_118450176

    Yeah...... And it's the super gay, flamboyant homosexuals that are secretly straight.

    Give your head a wobble.



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    #159
    monkeybutter
    Registered Users Posts: 3,518 ✭✭✭monkeybutter


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118450910#Comment_118450910

    no, what would they be hiding



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    #160
    monkeybutter
    Registered Users Posts: 3,518 ✭✭✭monkeybutter


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118450889#Comment_118450889

    its a lie

    look at me i'm so straight (gay)

    unless they have an diagnosed condition, which is possible



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    #161
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118450993#Comment_118450993

    Their internalised heterosexual proclivity?

    I mean, you have not-so-subtly suggested that people who portray themselves as very straight are hiding their innate homosexual urges.



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    #162
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    And yet nothing I said is said to be "right on" and calling it "waffle" without showing any fault with it does not magically turn it into waffle :) I presented the actual definition of the word(s) and explained what it means. What is "Right on" about that exactly I wonder other than the old "I can not rebut you so I will randomly use a label to be dismissive about anything you have said" approach?

    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118450865#Comment_118450865

    The "because you are so straight" is your appendix to what I said though not mine. I did not say that. I genuinely do not know why I am unable to do so. I would not automatically ascribe it to my sexuality or how heterosexual I believe myself to be or not be. For example I seem to have a similar lack of ability when it come to art. I can look at a world famous painting and struggle to see what the fuss is all about. While a work of art by an unknown amateur can blow me away.

    I think in many ways I am simply not a very visual person. I know what I like. That is about all I can claim with any certainty. I am still struggling to see what point you are trying to make. But if the point is that my inability to spot what is relatively attractive between guys means I am confused because I am attracted to guys - then I am afraid all logic has left the building at this point.



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    #163
    monkeybutter
    Registered Users Posts: 3,518 ✭✭✭monkeybutter



    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118451107#Comment_118451107


    Its about context, otherwise why would anyone bring it up, you were responding to someone one else, and me to you

    that was the context

    I did open it up the possibility that you may have some sort of un-diagnosed condition meaning you find it hard to distinguish between different forms, prosopagnosia it is called



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    #164
    SunnySundays
    Registered Users Posts: 224 ✭✭SunnySundays


    I'm straight & female. Not repulsed by being with a woman but completely indifferent/cold/zero arousal etc. but I can pick out the most attractive woman in a group easily. It's usually the one I wish I looked like. I don't understand how a an can't do similar,that makes no sense.

    Recognising someone is attractive and being physically attracted to them are completely different things.



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    #165
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118451205#Comment_118451205

    Context and putting words in peoples mouth are two entirely different things :) I simply said I am not able to do the thing the other user can. Nothing more. The rest you added yourself. I offered no theories as to why I am the way I am.

    Some people have abilities other people do not. Some people lack abilities even the majority have. None of this automatically implies a "condition" diagnosed or otherwise.

    As for prosopagnosia - that predominantly relates to faces as you might know. There is a lot more about evaluating sexual attractiveness for many people than just the face. Perhaps faces are your thing - actually in women it is definitely one of my things more than the body parts some people might look at first - but diagnosing prosopagnosia by means of armchair psychology based on an overall lack of ability to evaluate the relative attractiveness of people of my own gender is quite the leap even by the standards of many internet armchair diagnoses :)

    But actually since you brought it up and seem to be strangely interested in discussing me rather than the topic of the thread - I would actually suggest that not only is a suggestion of prosopagnosia wrong in my situation but is quite the opposite of reality. In that I appear to be able to distinguish faces a lot more readily than some other people I know. I think it is a known issue for example that some people of one race find it difficult to distinguish the faces of people of some other races. The old "They all look the same to me" thing.

    I have never had that issue for example. Quite the opposite. I am quite good at it. In fact a recent meeting with a sister company of ours from Taipei was quite comical when one of the people I work with had to ask me "Which of these guys was the one I was talking with yesterday?". He literally couldn't tell.

    No - the issue is pretty much as I said it already. I am very good at knowing what I personally like. Sexually. Art. So on. I am just not always as good at doing it vicariously for others. I struggle to see how this one small data point can justify any armchair medical diagnoses by people that probably have zero medical training or background or knowledge :)



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    #166
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 18,749 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I'm straight, but if I happened to have a homosexual experience or two, that doesn't make me bisexual. Just means I had a few same sex experiences.

    Still straight. Not attracted to same sex people.



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    #167
    Thelonious Monk
    Registered Users Posts: 13,929 ✭✭✭✭Thelonious Monk


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118451228#Comment_118451228

    Men can do similar. I don't fancy men but I can still tell if a man is attractive or not, it's pretty obvious. Plus all I have to do is look in the mirror!



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    #168
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 533 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118450889#Comment_118450889

    Maybe you can appreciate aesthetics?

    Straight men and straight women respond far better to a good looking sales person, even if they’re of the same gender.

    We all respond to good looking movie and tv personalities.

    Straight artists occasionally paint and sculpt nudes of people of the same gender, without being sexually into them.



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    #169
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118451442#Comment_118451442

    Lol. Ok.

    So your definition of straight is someone who is not attracted to people of the same sex, but can still engage in sexual activity with them on the odd occasion?



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    #170
    Thelonious Monk
    Registered Users Posts: 13,929 ✭✭✭✭Thelonious Monk


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118451785#Comment_118451785

    That's what she's saying yes, I guess not everyone thinks sex is that big a deal in the long run. I could have let a couple of dudes suck me off years ago but it wouldn't make me gay as I'm only attracted to women, that's not to say I couldn't have just said f**k it and tried this or that, especially if drunk or high. It never happened but I wouldn't think it that big a deal if it did. I've slept with lots of women I'm not exactly attracted to for real though.

    Anyway I guess you aren't going to think otherwise but I think rigid labels are a bit silly when it comes to sexuality.



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    #171
    CramCycle
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 24,596 Mod ✭✭✭✭CramCycle


    Bizarre, so many people think being attracted to someone is important for being able to sleep with them. Christ on a bike, has no one hear slept with someone and woke up and thought, f*ck, they are not arousing to me at all. Some men cop on for a variety of reasons that sometimes you can just get a release. Doesn't make you straight, bi or gay. I'm sure several people I have slept with woke up and thought, hmmmm, not my cuppa tea but done the job and I am sure I have felt the same but dressed it up as some other BS.



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    #172
    Mad_maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,505 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118450712#Comment_118450712

    I was like that up until I was about thirty five ,doesn't mean you immediately take notice ,just means in say a movie ,you can clearly recognise that someone like George Clooney is an objectively handsome SOB in the way most of us ain't.

    I too would not have a clue who women would likely go for



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    #173
    cj maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,647 ✭✭✭✭cj maxx


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118450889#Comment_118450889

    On the Gaydar thing. I have been hit on by lads ( and a few lassies) nearly everywhere I've lived, except home 😞.

    I'm not buff or particularly handsome, and back then I didn't pick up onn it. But I must put out serious gay vibes. The girls I chased all wanted to be my friend. I was such a gobshite:(



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    #174
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,111 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118451442#Comment_118451442

    How could someone willingly have same sex experiences and presumably enjoy same, while apparently not being attracted to same sex people and then say, nope I'm Straight? Does. Not. Compute.

    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118452031#Comment_118452031

    Bizarre, so many people think being attracted to someone is important for being able to sleep with them.

    Basic physiology. The mickey either works or doesn't(brewer's droop notwithstanding). In order for it to work arousal has to happen. Now beer goggles can be in play regardless of orientation and in the cold light of morning both parties could well be thinking ahh jaysus, and that's fine, but at a basic level beer goggles or not arousal has to happen. Forget Straight people for a second. How much beer would it require for a Gay lad to get sexually aroused by a naked women, or a Lesbian to get sexually aroused by a naked man?

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #175
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118451970#Comment_118451970

    Fair enough.

    So how far does that extend?

    Could you not be a paedophile if you normally wouldn't have any interest in kids but just fucked a couple of kids when you were drunk or high?

    (Not questioning the legality, just questioning whether you would consider them a paedo or not)



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    #176
    AckwelFoley
    Registered Users Posts: 12,556 ✭✭✭✭AckwelFoley


    It's only gay if you make eye contact



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    #177
    Thelonious Monk
    Registered Users Posts: 13,929 ✭✭✭✭Thelonious Monk


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118452402#Comment_118452402

    that's just f*cking offensive to everyone man



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    #178
    CramCycle
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 24,596 Mod ✭✭✭✭CramCycle


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118452159#Comment_118452159

    I get your point, never done it for me but I had a crack at it just to see. I know lads who can lift it on demand for **** and giggles so "it either works or it doesn't" does not compute either. This being said, I can't, wasn't for me and now happily involved for many years so no one else does it for me at all. I can see though how some people end up in a situation where they hormonally need a release, and lets face it, a **** on your own is nowhere close, regardless of sex of the person, to getting the unpredictability of another person going to town on you. If there partners are OK with it, I don't see the issue, more of an issue if they are hiding it but socially a lot of Ireland isn't ready for this level of casualness. Maybe Men are a safer bet, you know what they want and that is that, some people like to be givers and other receivers. I have slept with people who either mentally or physically would have me limp and yet somehow, on a given day I managed it. I used to make excuses such as booze or desperation but the truth is, on any given Sunday, if you really want to stick it somewhere and only one person or group of people are open to it, you probably will if you can get over what ever is not your cup of tea. As I have grown up, I realise I should have been nicer afterwards, and I am sure there are those that I didn't realise at the time who left mine (or I left theirs) who thought, well that was nice for an evening but lets not go there again. That's not everyone but it is an awful lot of people.



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    #179
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118452447#Comment_118452447

    I really don't see how.

    It was merely a question as to how far your mindset would go. Absolutely no offense intended and unreserved apologies for any offense taken.

    In your opinion, is it your actions or your desires that define your sexuality?



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    #180
    AllForIt
    Registered Users Posts: 8,325 ✭✭✭AllForIt


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118451442#Comment_118451442

    So what's the difference between you (after your hypothetical homosexual experience that's never gonna happen) and a bisexual person, then?



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    #181
    Packrat
    Registered Users Posts: 1,171 ✭✭✭Packrat


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118451970#Comment_118451970

    Imoptant bit missing from your post is "FOR ME" - that's where those of us with a different sexuality differ.

    I couldn't "Just let some guy suck me off"

    It most certainly would be a big deal, and I couldn't just go "**** it" and try it out because it would beyond gross me out no matter how drunk, high or desperate I was.

    I've also slept with plenty of women who I wouldn't quite want to settle down with, start a family with, or even have breakfast with, but at the moment it happened they had something I wanted or found attractive..

    Never in a thousand years would any man have anything for me not for one second..

    TLdr: You and I aren't the same yet we both identify as straight.

    “The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command”



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