My Mum passed away a few mths ago and I don't feel v xmassy at all.. like, I'll go to Mass, have xmas dinner (no crackers) and watch movies.. etc.. but I don't feel like sending cards/presents etc.. no tree/decorations.. lots of candles.. Is that ok? whats the norm for Christmas when your grieving? PS I don't deprive others of a nice xmas.. I just don't feel v xmassy..
100% ok and a very dignified way of thinking about things.
its just how I feel.. lots of tea and hymns (and I am not even that religious but Mum was in the choir)
People will understand.
Those who have felt the same after a bereavement will understand even more.
Well, it is a tradition in Ireland for a bereaved family not to send Christmas cards the first year. You may find that some people don't send cards either.
Do whatever you're comfortable with, and take care
I know how you feel.
We lost dad in November and, well, I don't know how it is supposed to be, this Christmas.
I know I have been enjoying the typical tooing and froing of the season, but there's an underlying sadness to everything, sometimes subtle, sometimes acute.
I imagine it's like a painting, but the canvas this year is tinted.
I miss him and I've found that sharing stories about him, the happy and sad, ease the pain quite a bit, especially when you can recount a tale that makes people laugh, it makes it okay to find joy even in this time when there's a ragged hole in you that you think won't ever heal.