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Friendship ended?

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    #32
    Hannibal_Smith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,927 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hannibal_Smith


    The old cliché of you're better off is so true road_high. Sometimes 'friendships' are a huge mismatch and neither realise it until the cord is cut.

    Its such a shame when a friendship comes to such a definite end, but sometimes its needed. The hassle of having to remember to stay in touch just to preserve some sort of connection/avoid the cold shoulder is a lot of work that no one needs in a friendship right now!

    They've ripped the plaster off, it'll sting for a bit, but you'll move on and be better off in the long run.



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    #33
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users Posts: 8,810 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117888940#Comment_117888940

    That changes things - a lot.



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    #34
    sporina
    Registered Users Posts: 6,780 ✭✭✭sporina


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117892817#Comment_117892817

    oh gosh OP - you seem to lack some understanding here.. she fancied you - you didn't feel the same.. thats fine - but she doesn't wanna be friends - can you understand why that might be?



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    #35
    Patsy167
    Registered Users Posts: 1,791 ✭✭✭Patsy167


    People always come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

     When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.


     When someone is in your life for a REASON,

     It is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.

     They have come to assist you through a difficulty,

    Or to provide you with guidance and support,

    To aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually.


    They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are.

    They are there for the reason you need them to be.

    Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

    This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.


    Sometimes they die. Sometimes they just walk away.

    Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

    What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.

    The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.


    When people come into your life for a SEASON,

    It is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.

    They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

    They may teach you something you have never done.


    They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

    Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

    And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall,

    The season eventually ends.


    LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;

    Those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

    Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person anyway;

    And put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life.


    It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

    Thank you for being part of my life,

    Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime



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    #36
    Mic 1972
    Registered Users Posts: 3,213 ✭✭✭Mic 1972


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117889019#Comment_117889019

    That's new to me

    They is plural, He/She/It is singular



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    #37
    mrcheez
    Registered Users Posts: 13,622 ✭✭✭✭mrcheez


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117898375#Comment_117898375

    you can use "they" when you don't want to specify gender

    https://www.google.com/search?q=using+they+for+one+person



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    #38
    Quags
    Registered Users Posts: 1,809 ✭✭✭Quags


    Jaysus, friendships come and go & if the other party was that interested in keeping contact then they would have. We are all adults and have our own issues to worry about without thinking if your friend is upset that you didn't text them to check up. Just get on with your life and forget about them



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    #39
    boardlady
    Registered Users Posts: 251 ✭✭boardlady


    If a 'friend' is starting to drag me down, annoying me, being clingy or otherwise leaving me feel less than after an encounter with them, I tend to make a decision to drift away. I've done this a few times - maybe a handful - throughout my life. I don't want to fall out with people over little differences so I just stop making contact. Usually, I might have to deflect a couple of reaches out with 'too busy' etc but I will not fall out with them. Not everyone is suited to close friendship and I have loads of acquaintances - some on a cup-of-coffee basis too - but am too busy to keep up with the ones who leave a bad taste in my mouth. However, I do not want to be hurtful, simply extricate myself from the meet ups! If we bump into one another, I am perfectly friendly and if they mention not having seen/heard from me, I always play the 'very busy' card. I never offer to re-engage though. I'm interested now to know how i'm viewed!🙄



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    #40
    acequion
    Registered Users Posts: 3,827 ✭✭✭acequion


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117893687#Comment_117893687

    Yes but the OP has stated that he made it very clear to this friend that he didn't return the attraction so that was the time for the friend to call it a day. Maintaining a friendship in denial of the reality and in hope of something more is a reflection on the friend and not the OP. Rather pathetic, not to mention dishonest, if the friend said they'd respect a platonic friendship and then got the hump because the OP didn't act like a lover.



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    #41
    hesaidshesaid
    Registered Users Posts: 289 ✭✭hesaidshesaid


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117881840#Comment_117881840

    This is the important one IMO. Do you want to participate in a more active friendship with someone who you know had/ has feelings for you? It seems you don’t and to be honest, it sounds like a minefield.

    Your gut feeling was right. Walk away from this person and invest more in your other friendships with people who have the same expectations as you.



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    #42
    sporina
    Registered Users Posts: 6,780 ✭✭✭sporina


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117908771#Comment_117908771

    gee it goes without saying - v few wanna just be mates with someone they fancy - one shud know and respect that if the person involved wishes so.. are you projecting @acequion ?



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    #43
    acequion
    Registered Users Posts: 3,827 ✭✭✭acequion


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117909769#Comment_117909769

    Gee but why are you taking such issue with other people's views and why are you getting personal at people, ie am I projecting? What would I be projecting? And why all the text slang, "wanna","shud"? Sorry but it's hard to take somebody seriously when they won't take the trouble to type out proper words.

    Also, you have completely misrepresented my original point. Maybe you just didn't get it!



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    #44
    Zak Flaps
    Registered Users Posts: 2,335 ✭✭✭Zak Flaps


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117888940#Comment_117888940

    And you wonder why this person doesn't want anything to do with you?

    Is this a joke?

    Or are you just bored and looking for attention?



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    #45
    Hannibal_Smith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,927 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hannibal_Smith


    Mod Note

    @acequion and @sporina leave the back and forth sniping there thanks. Its of no benefit to the OP

    @Zak Flaps Please read the Charter before posting in PI again. If you cannot offer constructive advice to the OP without belittling them, then please do not post and move on to another thread.

    HS



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    #46
    road_high
    Registered Users Posts: 19,386 ✭✭✭✭road_high


    Just popping back to this. Great advice generally so thank you all very much. As for some of the replies, the less said the better. But my fault for engaging. Some people really do see 1+1 and get 5. The story is as is and that’s all these was to it. I’ve barely thought about it after the initial “shock” and as people have alluded to- put it behind , learn and move on.



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    #47
    sporina
    Registered Users Posts: 6,780 ✭✭✭sporina


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117920107#Comment_117920107

    best of luck OP!



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    #48
    dublin49
    Registered Users Posts: 1,283 ✭✭✭dublin49


    just glossed the replies but my sense is the friend fancied the OP,reckoned perhaps correctly there was little if any reciprocal interest and decided to enjoy the short but immediate pleasure of a snarky text.As Shakespeare I think wrote "The Lady doth protest to much"



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    #49
    Happydays2020
    Registered Users Posts: 2,677 ✭✭✭Happydays2020


    As someone above suggested: delete the number and move on. Things happen and life is too short to chase down a friendship that does not want chasing.



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