Friendship ended?

I think you've answered your own question with the last sentence. It's not nice but I'm sure you can move on. Friends come and go over time and whilst I think that reply you got was pretty rude it's clear this person has no interest in continuing any form of relationship. I would just forget and move on. Life's too short to dwell on these things.

At least they were honest and straight up front about it.

Irsh people have a habit of draging out or trying to keep a friendship going even when it is toxic.

That is just an obnoxious thing to say without any justification going with it. Hurtful for no reason, the very definition of rude.

I wouldn’t have replied as you did OP, you’re more tolerant than me.

They are very demanding.

I have some dear old friends I have not seen in a decade or more. We often go year or more without a text, they live in other countries. I see them when our paths cross and we reminisce. That’s just being an adult.

Also, Covid happened.

It's not about the response, your issue is the anxiety it has given you about the response. You said it has been a few months, it is what it is. From their side they have decided they are done with the relationship, you held on for a while but never kept it going. Job done. It is your feelings and anxiety that are saying it was more and deserved a better end that has annoyed you. You don't deserve that but feel like you do. That's it, move on and no harm. I'm being a bit harsh but that's how life is.

i have a feeling that we are not getting the full picture here - can you tell us more? like, when wer ye last in touch? and how did ye get on? how did ye part company? etc

You just have different friend styles. I have friends for a long number of years where we might not be in touch for ages, but pick up right where we left off. I’m trying to think of the longest gap in those kind of friendships, I’d roughly say almost a year with no contact. There might be a few texts on one side - or the other - but I’d estimate that we contact each other within 12 months. No one really seems to mind though.

I think your friend expected far more regular contact, and that’s ok. But it’s also ok for that not to be your thing. So I’d guess that most Irish people would just let a disparity like that drift - but perhaps your American friend is being rather more direct about their expectations (hope I haven’t gone overboard on the National stereotypes there).

Theres no point in trying resurrect it: you friend will be monitoring you, and you’ll be performing. So not a real friendship. I’d say just let it all go. It doesn’t mean that either one of you have unreasonable expectations: just that your expectations do not suit each other

I did this once about 4 years ago. Won’t go into details as I don’t want person identifying me but my then mate had been what I would call playing a part of best friend in the world, rather than being sincere about it. I’m an upfront sort of person and at the end of the day I find myself setting boundaries. This pal had annoyed me a little by being somewhat judgemental, not necessarily just of me, but over a lot of things. Nobody’s perfect, least of all me, so had been overlooking that little annoyance for some tine.

Things turned sour on a particular occasion when I would have expected this friend to show their presence. The excuse offered was absolutely pathetic, and in retrospect I could only put it down to an occasion when I might have been in a position as a volunteer worker to do this person a particular “favour”; had I done so it would have worked against the good of the charity, so I diplomatically as possible de lines to do so. I texted them not to contact me again and that was that. I did want to cool off the friendship rather than necessarily end it, but in the long run it has been no loss at all. I did send a follow-up message to explaining I was hurt, and that should we happen to encounter each other in life that I would always be cordial etc and that I expected they had their reasons for acting in that cold manner. This country is way too small to build a catalogue of enemies and it is just generally bad karma.

OP, you have likely totally inadvertently and unintentionally managed to upset your former friend. They likely have been in a bad place for reasons not fully known to you. Irrespective of what they said, I would just send a short note to say you don’t know where you went wrong, you no hard feelings and hope they are ok. Life’s just too short and you want peace of mind.

I've seen people here give the advice to send a "We're not friends, don't contact me again" message to the person they want gone from their lives. Here we can see what happens when the person at the other end gets one of these. You'd need to have a hide like a rhinoceros not to be shaken when something like this pops up on your phone. Maybe this former friend is more direct than other former friends you've let drift from your life - perhaps they too have negative feelings about you. Only you can answer that question.

"they" can refer to the singular

I think its very obvious from the post that the person is talking about one single person (as the third person).

I would assume they are not using he/she/him/her etc because they are maintaining some anonymity, given the nature of this forum.

Is there any more of a background to this? Had there been any kind of a falling out prior to you recieving this message?

My advice - remember the phrase "Friends come and go". You will meet more people and develop more friendships as you move through life.

Keep positive. Good luck.