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Have you ever had Sympathy for a prostitute or a serial killer?

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Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,453 ✭✭✭Ray Palmer


    legality is nothing about right and wrong but morality is. You made all the noises that you lack empathy for all so sounds like you are on the spectrum. A person certainly can't comprehend something you can't feel, taste, or see due to some issue like colour blindness, lack of taste buds or lack of empathy doesn't mean these things don't exist



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,203 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack



    If a person experiences trauma in childhood it absolutely does not mean that they are inevitably damaged or broken or that they will have limited choices, and certainly their choices are not limited to either becoming a prostitute or a serial killer! If you want to work that backwards - it doesn’t mean that either prostitutes or serial killers inevitably experienced traumatic childhood abuse.

    You’re looking to backwards rationalise their behaviour as adults and you’re going to run into issues very quickly with that methodology. It’s easy to assume that people who are either prostitutes or serial killers experienced childhood trauma that influenced their behaviour as adults, but that’s neither empathy nor sympathy, it’s projecting your own ideas onto other people.

    It’s no different than the way earlier when you didn’t share a person’s opinion, they’re psychotic, and now when you don’t share another person’s opinion, they’re not fully functional according to you and they appear to be saying they’re on the autistic spectrum, even though they’ve never given any such indication.

    It’s as though you can’t see the irony in your own behaviour towards others.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,441 ✭✭✭Riddle101


    I can have sympathy for a prostitute because I don't think prostitution is such a serious issue to judge someone over. Although I'm aware of the shady nature behind it in regards to human trafficking, but the prostitutes themselves are just trying to get by for the most part I think. I mean it's not like they're drug dealers who sell poison to people, they're sex workers. The traffickers and the people who sell them out are the ones I have no sympathy for.

    A serial killer on the other hand is a different issue. It's hard to have sympathy for someone who has taken the lives of many innocent people in such a brutal fashion as a lot of them tend to do. Whatever their background, they're far too gone as humans, and so I can't give sympathy.



  • Registered Users Posts: 6,412 ✭✭✭Jequ0n


    You can assume all you like, but it won't make your assessment correct. Unless you are more qualified than the professionals who assessed me. I couldn't care less what you think of me, but I am free to ask others questions even if you consider me defective.

    Morality is not set in stone. Something might seem immoral to you, whereas I don't see an issue with it, and vice versa. There are a million factors that will influence your opinion in this regard, and you will find variations not just around the globe, but probably even within your own social circle.

    Therefore, for me, morality is nothing but an individualised concept that has no real meaning.

    Post edited by Jequ0n on


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,904 ✭✭✭✭Rothko


    Lol, check out the keyboard psychiatrist here. Utterly laughable.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,163 ✭✭✭chicorytip


    There is "controlled" prostitution - for want of a better term - in Ireland which works by online advertising on sites such as Escorts Ireland. Those selling their services would be a mix of self employed and those controlled by criminal gangs involved in trafficking girls for prostitution. Street prostitutes, like the lady you encountered, tend to be drink or drug addicts who may be working for a pimp (abusive partner) as well as to feed their habit. Yes, I would have great sympathy for somebody who sells their own body in order to survive. It indicates both desperate personal circumstances as well as a chronic lack of self esteem to choose such a path in life.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭pgj2015



    I have sympathy for this guy. They wont even give him books to read, the prison system are being very cruel to him, it shows they are as bad as they think he is.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,205 ✭✭✭✭B.A._Baracus


    Whys that tho? I don't think I am missing something here as the article you posted says he was a killer and also killed in prison.

    Dude is a violent murderer.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    He's definitely an example of a monster created. Would he have carried out his atrocities if not for the beatings, sexual abuse and confinement he endured? Doubtful.

    The prison staff probably have safety concerns - he seems highly volatile - but 23 hours a day locked up in a vault with nothing but his thoughts seems inhumane. Yes I know what he did was certainly inhumane, but shouldn't the prison be held to a higher standard?

    Post edited by [Deleted User] on


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  • Registered Users Posts: 6,412 ✭✭✭Jequ0n


    You can likewise argue that none of these killings were undeserved.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    This question is beyond stupid.

    I knew a few prostitutes back in the day (long story) and they all had different stories. Most were doing it because it paid so well (why be a cleaner when you can make a cleaner's weekly wage in one hour as a prostitute?), whereas others were doing it because they enjoyed it.

    Did I have sympathy for them? They didn't need my sympathy, they were choosing to do it.

    Did I see them as real people who deserved to be treated as real people? Sure.

    EDIT: I guess I would have sympathy for a prostitute who is doing it because she's an addict and trapped by her addiction.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,306 ✭✭✭✭Drumpot


    i understand why the OP used the tag, Referring to a specific case but Prostitution and Serial killers are not comparable in anyway.

    It Makes me think of the death penalty. I don’t get why some see it as Barbaric if you have undeniable proof of things like this. You put down a rabid animal with no conscience or concern. I don’t get why people feel some sense of moral duty to not put down people who will threaten others lives for as long as they breath. Is locking them in a cage for life more “humane”? Seems like any exercise in optics , looking more civilised to feel good about yourself when it fact it’s not really.

    I feel sympathy for anybody who suffers pain that is not of their doing. Especially children who have no help and are innocent to these corruptions. Everybody is a child at some stage , so even people who grow up corrupted or “evil” were once innocent children.

    But I’d extend it out to drug addicts and anybody with additctions. Society is awfully close minded and ignorant to addiction and why people would choose to destroy their lives with a substance. Usually there is unbearable pain behind the addiction and the way society treats them is with contempt. Such a fickle, shallow ,uninformed, pathetic society in many regards. Keeping up appearances, the look of civility and no interest in anything they don’t fully understand.

    You will see some suburban or upper middle class family suffer something awful and the collective pain felt will be ridiculously over blown. A junkie or alcoholic who was abused as a Child, never had any support (or a chance) and was demonised by society, succumbes to the addiction and nobody cares. Not just that “they deserved it” would be the sentiments of many on some level.

    I think most of it is ignorance and people just absorbed in their own lives and what they can personally relate to. There is only so much we can care about but the problem is when most people don’t care about something they don’t care to understand it. It’s easier to presume addicts are people of poor character who choose a life of crime and pain rather then understand why a person would do that.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    Yes he did kill, all child abusers and wife killers etc. no loss in my opinion. Plus he had a horrific childhood. but what the prison system are doing to him is inhumane, no matter how bad someone is, They should be allowed read a book if they want to. I suppose it is a serious warning to other inmates to never kill other prisoners.


    Anders Behring Breivik who killed 77 people in Norway was complaining a few years ago that he only had a PS2 in his prison cell, he wanted a PS3.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    To be fair, they have a lot to overcome in those circumstances, and it's not as easy as saying that they should get help. There is going to be huge trust issues with the rest of society



  • Posts: 6,192 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Always wondered about serial killers,people who have to go out and kill to be satisfied and do it over and over,often not even knowing the victim


    Its awlful business killing people and i know a few who killed.someone in accidents etc (have done their time in jail etc),it knocks.fcuk outta em


    but to have the need/want to do it for personal happiness,is perplexing and i wonder is it widespread,but thankfully most dont act upon it



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  • Registered Users Posts: 6,412 ✭✭✭Jequ0n


    That is probably very true, but the rest of society can’t fix their problems for them though. If their instinct for survival isn’t strong enough then they will perish.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    The playing field is not going to be the same level though as someone who has had a caring childhood. The bigger the baggage, the bigger the vessel and thus, the harder to turn the ship around



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    I can't post links but take a look for the interview Howard Stern did with a serial killer, it's pretty much this thread in a nutshell.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,297 ✭✭✭✭AMKC
    Ms


    He made is hell and now he will just have to survive in it. I might have had sympathy for him if he had tried to change once he got to prison instead of trying to impose his own law and killing them other prisoners.

    Yes he had a bad upbringing but he made the choice to kill an innocent person which got him sent to prison. He should have tried to change.

    Live long and Prosper

    Peace and long life.



  • Registered Users Posts: 6,412 ✭✭✭Jequ0n


    Yes I understand that. But what difference does it actually make whether you feel sympathy or n not? Essentially the drive still has to come from the effected person themselves.



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  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    I was propositioned by a man one day, who thought I was a prostitute. I know that doesn't speak well of me but in truth he thought I was a prostitute because I was friends with a man who unbeknowns to me, was using prostitutes. He was what you would call an incel, through no fault of his own and physical deformities at birth which resulted in a lot of idio synchronicities which made him appear more intellectually challenged than he actually was.

    I don't really have anything to do with him anymore, but I saw it as more of an insult to him that no one would believe a woman would be in his company unless she was being paid.

    For what it's worth I'd never decide to have (probably really bad and definitely unwanted) sex with a complete stranger (very likely to be physically repulsive and potentially criminal in nature) for money or place myself in a situation where my life would be in danger because of it.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    My friends' clients tended to be older, wealthy, divorced men. Not criminal or dangerous.

    I remember meeting two of them: one was a lawyer working for a big tech multinational, the other was C-level at another big tech company.

    If I had to stereotype them (negatively) I'd say they were lonely and had low self esteem.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,669 ✭✭✭✭Galwayguy35


    So you have sympathy for the seriel killer in your OP even though she killed innocent men but not this guy who killed 2 nonces and a wife killer.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Warning: beyond rough.

    A Kansas woman was executed a few months back for strangling a pregnant woman and cutting the baby out of her (she was still alive - the strangling didn't kill her, she died from blood loss).

    I completely understand the murdered woman's family, friends and community being a-ok with the execution.

    Looking into the wider picture though, the murderer Lisa Montgomery was raped systematically by her stepfather, her mother hated her for having sex with her husband but both adults prostituted the girl, with the stepfather encouraging violent, degrading treatment of her - gang rape, physical assault, urination on her and verbal abuse. Her mother enjoyed humiliating her too.

    She had longterm head injuries from beatings (getting her head hopped off the floor).

    Most definitely a monster was created - with severe mental issues. Because of this, I don't think she should have been executed - I think she should have been committed to an institution for life. I think her piece of **** parents are partially guilty of that pregnant lady's death. But of course that's just my emotions talking and not based on anything legal.

    This and other matters are extremely emotive and that's OK - emotions aren't invalid. Perspectives and context should be considered. It's absolutely not straightforward.

    The ****-ing mother and stepfather though, and the men who raped her... pretty straightforward what I'd like done to them. 🤬

    Post edited by [Deleted User] on


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,412 ✭✭✭Jequ0n


    Interesting that she was put down despite having received psychiatric treatment during incarceration, which is would have given her defense Team more credit.

    I don’t know enough about psychosis to comment, but there is no denying that her actions had been calculated and well planned in advance, which probably clashed with the defense strategy.

    Her siblings comments were very enlightening as to the background though.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Yeah she created a fake name and email address and built a friendship with the pregnant woman, which didn't help at all.

    I used to have a neighbour with a brain injury (car crash) though, and he was as conniving and manipulative as could be.

    A friend of mine sustained a brain injury (because of a fall) and outwardly he's the same person he always was.

    It's complex for sure.



  • Registered Users Posts: 6,412 ✭✭✭Jequ0n


    Maybe your neighbour was also manipulative before the accident. I guess every case is different and therefore difficult to evaluate



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 771 ✭✭✭Deregos.


    Most prostitutes are women, most serial killers are men.

    Most women become prostitutes because of men, most serial killers kill prostitutes because they're women.

    I have full sympathy for these women, I have no sympathy for these men.

    Pictures of your own bad parking WITH CHAT



  • Registered Users Posts: 6,412 ✭✭✭Jequ0n




  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    But you could say the very same about Aileen Wuornos yet you have empathy for her.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 492 ✭✭Fritzbox


    Most women become prostitutes because of men, 

    Really, why? Could you explain a little bit further?



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,297 ✭✭✭✭AMKC
    Ms


    I never said I has empathy for her only sympathy. She was raped by her grandfather and one of his friends as well as been thrown out of the house when she was only 15. So she was homeless.

    She started to see men as bad the same way most male serial killers see women as something to be used and then thrown away like trash.

    She only had sex with them because she needed the money. I doubt she enjoyed it.

    She had a girlfriend who she loved.

    Live long and Prosper

    Peace and long life.



  • Registered Users Posts: 6,412 ✭✭✭Jequ0n


    You are oversimplifying though. People kill for countless reasons, and the same applies to serial killers.

    It makes sense to pick prostitutes as prey because they live a high risk lifestyle and are less likely to be missed, or reported as missing for a while. Whatever your intentions it makes perfect sense to pick someone who is disposable. It does not necessarily mean that regular people are seen in higher regard, just because they aren’t picked.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Sorry I meant sympathy.

    But I think the same can be applied to the guy who is in a glass case. Because of the severe abuse he experienced as a child, he targeted child abusers, just like Wuornos targeted men due to the abuse she endured from her grandfather.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,211 ✭✭✭Thinkingaboutit


    This an odd question. The two things on very different moral levels. Prostitution seems a somewhat frequent resort for the desperate and a person should try to have sympathy. I cannot have much understanding for someone who repeatedly murders, obviously.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,306 ✭✭✭✭Drumpot


    On a side note this makes me think of Vigilantes and where their actions are understandable. Parents or communities ganging up against drug dealers or anti social behaviour when the laws leave innocent people vulnerable to thugs.

    This is one thing I’m surprised we don’t see more of to be honest. There’s plenty of injustices where criminals get off on technicalities or the police know who’s doing bad stuff but just can’t nail them.

    I think of the tv series Dexter aswell with some of this talk. It’s hard to feel sympathy with bad guys who don’t get caught , getting killed.



  • Registered Users Posts: 1,244 ✭✭✭Brid Hegarty


    Hang on... what do you mean "fair play to her"? And please stop using the word 'done' in place of 'did'. I don't care how badly you were brought up; it sounds disgusting.

    Then you should have left out the word prostitute entirely from the title. You could have chose a title like "Would you have sympathy for a serial killer with a bad upbringing?" OR "Would you have sympathy for a female serial killer?"



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,806 ✭✭✭BalcombeSt4


    Not a serial killer but I felt bad Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme. Abused by her father, kicked out of her house at 18, self-harmed in school, then brainwashed by Charles Manson and to top it of was locked up for 40 years for protesting about global warming in front of the president, that's gotta suck.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 237 ✭✭RulesOfNature


    Yep. The worst aspects of prostitution (human traficking, rapes, organized crime links) is because of its illegality. The same way the worst aspects of marijuana is also with its illegality.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,067 ✭✭✭✭fryup


     i'll probably get a lot of flak for this but - Brendan O'Donnell - the guy involved in the Whitegate murders in Co Clare back in the 90's - yes what he did was truly horrific but he was in need of care for years he had serious mental health issues which was obvious to all - spending nights sleeping on his mother's grave who passed away when he was a child



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    I think noticing that there is little to no evidence for the concept of "Free Will" as most people seem to understand the term has been the strongest influence on my emotions around things like murder and sex abuse and any other victim crimes (rather than victimless crimes like buying and selling sex).

    Without a working concept of "Free Will" the need for retribution or revenge or the need to see the criminal suffer falls away entirely and is indeed replaced with things like sympathy.

    This position - contrary to the response I have seen from some quarters over the years - is in no way in conflict with seeking justice again or incarceration of criminals. In fact often those things are untouched. But the focus changes from retribution and revenge and punishment to the protection of the pubic and rehabilitation. It is more a realignment of incentives than outcomes in other words.

    As a random example some people might want to see a person who sexually abused a child to be locked away for a very long time. But if scientific and study data showed that a shorter time significantly reduced crime and recidivism rates then I would support shorter sentences (if!). Because my goal would be the reduction of crime and victims - not the punishment of the criminal and making the criminal suffer.

    Similarly on the subject of child abusers I think it was on boards I recall some users speaking of one who they hoped would not only be locked up forever but would be routinely bullied and raped in prison. Again the focus here on revenge and seeing a criminal suffer is not one I can get into the head space of myself in the abscence of a workable "Free Will" concept. For me the answer to awful suffering is not sitting around hoping for even more suffering.

    But yes I feel "sympathy" for all criminals even the worst ones. I feel sympathy for Hitler even. We do not choose our genes. Our parents. Our upbringing. Our circumstances. Our brains and compulsions. Or pretty much anything else. And it seems without much evidence for Free Will we do not really "choose" anything. As such deep empathy and sympathy for even the worst criminals among us is in no way mutually exclusive with Criminal Justice and Law.

    I do not have much time for Religion or Christianity as my posting history shows. But one thing the Jesus Character and his followers did not get wrong is certainly the concept of "Hate the sin not the sinner".

    Not a directly reply to your post but rather using your post as a spring board to elaborate on what I already said above: With killing people one should indeed think they need to find an "excuse" or a "justification". And I doubt in many cases they will be able to provide one.

    I see no such requirement with becoming any kind of sex worker given there is nothing immoral about it or wrong with it in and of itself as a decision. Except if it is actively illegal to do so of course - then one should of course be expected to justify their decision to break the law (for example - it is a whole conversation often worth having when breaking the law as a form of social or legal protest is justified or not).

    Where something is not illegal however - then we should expect to hear why someone is required to "justify their behaviour" or choices in each context on it's own merits. Innocent until proven guilty. A society should first show there is something to "justify" in the first place - before we go around pretending anyone has to justify anything. Similarly we should establish that there is something to actually feel sympathy for - before thinking we are required to feel any.

    There is nothing wrong with sex work that I can see or have been shown on this forum - nor is there seemingly anything wrong with paying for sexual services. So there is nothing for them to "justify" or "excuse" in the first place in that context. Often the contrary is just moral high horsing ones own perfectly ok life decisions over someone else's perfectly ok life decisions. .

    To answer the OP directly on the subject of prostitution therefore - I would reserve my sympathy for anyone who finds themselves in a career they themselves do not actually want to be in and wish to get out of. Whether they be a sex worker or a neurosurgeon or a politician or a sales clerk or anything else. Someone could have the "best job in the world" on paper and I would feel sympathy for them if they actively hate it and want out.

    I have zero sympathy for people solely because of what career they happen to be in in other words. Otherwise that would be my value judgement in play - not theirs. And I am not in the business of feeling sympathy for anyone who does not require it as I would then merely be projecting how I imaging I would feel in their circumstance - rather than trying to find out how they themselves feel about it.



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