Do you like having guests at your place?

bobbyss · 23-08-2021 10:32am #1

Down the country it is quite normal to have guests and visitors pop into your house unexpectedly. For a visit. That is fantastic if you like to have guests visit at any time. Do you like to have visitors in your house? Or do guests phone you first to let you know they are coming over? Did you ever pretend you were not in?

I remember about 3 pm on Christmas Day just as we were about to have the Christmas dinner my uncle and aunt called around for a visit. Unfortunately the dinner went cold.

Gregor Samsa · 23-08-2021 10:39am

I like people calling. I deliberately delay paying my TV licence just so the inspector will call. I noticed that number 72 down the road where the quiet Asian ladies live was getting a lot of visitors, so I changed my door number to 72, hoping they'd call in to me instead. I've no idea what a "happy ending" is, but it's nice to have the human contact.

Jequ0n · 23-08-2021 10:41am

No.

boardlady · 23-08-2021 11:06am

This is a strange one for me. Yes. And no. I love the idea of visitors for coffee or a drink or two, or even people coming to stay for a few days, but then I seem to overthink it and the timing is not right and i'm fussing too much and then I just get sick of it all and want them to leave. I love having people to stay a few days but hate them in the living room with me in the evening! I'm very weird I know ..

Strumms · 23-08-2021 11:48am

Yes, but I certainly appreciate a WhatsApp...

Them : ” listen I’ll be over your way this afternoon, you free ? “

Me : ” yep, all day, call in, be great to see you.”

Them : ” Grand, be there around 3ish “

id not dream about doorstepping I think that’s rude, an imposition.

takes 2 seconds to send a WhatsApp.

alpha2 · 23-08-2021 12:00pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117792166#Comment_117792166

This is exactly how I am! I love the idea of friends calling and staying over but when they're in the house I seem to spend all my time fussing round and I just want them to go away so I can watch Netflix in my pyjamas and not talk to anyone!

boardlady · 23-08-2021 12:03pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117792420#Comment_117792420

Alpha 2, I would love to be easy going and spontaneous like friends are, but i'm too tightly wound I think!

23-08-2021 12:14pm

My home is my castle. Nope. I rarely, if ever, invite people to my home.

TheValeyard · 23-08-2021 12:17pm

It's nice to have them when they visit, but the cleaning before and after is a pain.

Mixed bag.

JupiterKid · 23-08-2021 12:51pm

Yes, I like friends and wider family to visit my place - over the past 18 months there have been precious few visitors calling in due to Covid-19 and the restrictions.

Dropping in for a couple of hours for a cuppa and a chat - and staying a few days with all the attendant hassle and hosting issues - are very different scenarios. I would always appreciate a text or call beforehand, just so I can make sure the place is nice and tidy ahead of their arrival. I have also hosted a couple of dinner parties/film nights with good friends from time to time, pre-Covid.

I have a neighbour who drops in unannounced the very odd time, but he usually texts or calls beforehand. My OH is a bit less amenable to visitors, as he really likes his complete peace and quiet at home, especially if he is in a low mood and takes to bed.

With people being busy, working etc. it's very inconvenient for people to have visitors dropping in unannounced, and these days most people do phone or text ahead. Growing up in suburban Dublin in the 1980s we would often have visitors drop in unannounced - my late mum was a great hostess - but those were pre-mobile phone and pre-text days and people had much more time to receive visitors.

PsychoPete · 23-08-2021 1:01pm

I don't invite people over but people do randomly call in, once it isn't while we're having the dinner

Hyperbollix · 23-08-2021 1:14pm

Ideally with a call or message before hand, then yes. Of course there are people who don't need to do that as they're either family or like family. But for everyone else its good manners to let someone know you intend to visit for a couple of hours, you never know what people have got going on.

ger vallely · 23-08-2021 1:51pm

Myself and my family lived out the country for 11 years. No one ever called in unexpectedly. Everything was arranged, play dates for the kids and our own social situations. When we moved back to the city 4 years ago I was so looking forward to people popping in unexpectedly. It's happened a few times but not so much that it's an inconvenience. I like it. I keep a clean house but not so precious about it that I would be mortified if a friend turned up out of the blue. My kids have moved out now so it's even nicer to have spur of the moment friendly faces show up as life isn't quite so hectic.

endacl · 23-08-2021 1:53pm

No bother, once they don’t arrive with their hands hangin’!

23-08-2021 2:19pm

No text no entry.

Dial Hard · 23-08-2021 5:21pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117792166#Comment_117792166

House guests and fish. Ben Franklin had it right.

23-08-2021 5:28pm

People you see regularly is ok but I find it stressful to see a car pull up to the house unannounced and you haven’t seen them in a while.

Happydays2020 · 23-08-2021 5:39pm

No and don’t like visiting other homes either.

retro:electro · 23-08-2021 11:21pm

I like having people around for drinks and nibbles and the odd one night stay but I wouldn’t be comfortable with a few night stay. My tolerance is limited and there’s only so much bs I can chat before I just want to retreat back into silence and be a slob in my own home

Strumms · 24-08-2021 1:37am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117794063#Comment_117794063

I prefer, when meeting friends... a pub, restaurant or cafe... I always struggle if I know when is best to leave, am I overstaying my welcome and imposing or if I’m fast to leave am I looking ungrateful for their hospitality.

The Mighty Quinn · 24-08-2021 8:38am

Funny, I was just thinking about this very topic yesterday and trying to decide if I was a grumpy crank or justified in not wanting guests over!

We've had a guest the last 2 nights, relation of my wife's. My wife had met family at a hotel for a few days in a tourist town, as they were all leaving to go home, my wife invited her relation to our place to stay without consulting me.

I live in a mid 90s semi detached house, seemingly designed for when people were slimmer and had half the amount of belongings, not room to swing a cat. Somebody staying in my house is a very notable presence and I really really don't like it. I've a busy life, I really value if I can get an hour in the evening with a cup of tea and some tv programme of my choosing. This goes out the window with guests, and it irks the shite outta me.

Per somebody else's comment, the cleaning before guests arrive is enough to put me off even further. My wife gets into a tizzy about having the house look like nobody lives there, nothing can be out on the counter tops, the place must smell of bleach and pine. We live in a clean house, always kept clean, yet the carry on before a guest arrives by my wife she'd have you believe we live in squalor, it puts her in a bad mood cleaning "the state of the place", usually the floors were mopped within the last 2 days, the place is hoovered daily, the kitchen is wiped down several times a day, bathrooms kept clean. Yet... not clean enough for guests.

It's not fair on the guests, but I project that negativity associated with cleaning for their arrival on them.

The ideal guest stays for up to an hour, at lunch or in early evening, and then **** off.

Coopaloop · 24-08-2021 8:59am

This makes me think of this sketch....https://youtu.be/0Swzvm-gXHg

But no, I hate unannounced guests, my mother in law used to do it, and then stay all day. No call or text, not a thought that we might have had something planned, which we usually always did as she would call on weekends when we always do stufff with the kids, and then proceeds to seem put out when we tell her we actually have plans and are leaving the house very soon (you should have called before you drove an hour to get here).

It's just rude.

freshpopcorn · 24-08-2021 11:15am

We hate people calling in advance to day they are calling.

There's just so much extra pressure to have the house tidy and get stiff in.

chrissb8 · 24-08-2021 12:09pm

Love it. Unlike a pub, restaurant etc. you have loads of options to entertain guests. Mine would be friends exclusively though, and in that way, I like having some people over for some drinks listening to music. Watching something together and getting something to eat or just a few cups of tea and a good natter is great as well. Getting stuck into a video game for hours on end together is a favourite. Love having people over. That said though the people I have over I can easily just say please go now and they would no bother.

JupiterKid · 24-08-2021 12:10pm

Hmmmm....it seems like the famed traditional Irish hospitality may well becoming a thing of the past. 🤔😕

It seems there are three types of people - those who really enjoy having guests call around and stay over, those who don't mind people dropping in as long as it's a relatively short visit, they get plenty of advance notice and preferably no overnight stays, and...

...those who would rather not have anyone call around at all to their place, at any time. I suspect that Boardsies are quite a bit less accommodating of visitors than the Irish population in general.

DoozerT6 · 08-09-2021 7:38pm

Actually, no I don't, not really. I always feel like I don't have much to say and guests will be bored. I only have one bedroom, so having overnight guests (tbh, 99% of the time it's just my parents) usually means me sleeping on the couch, which is not ideal, and I'm too old for that sh!t tbh. I'm not a great housekeeper by my own admission, so I always have to do a big clean first, so unexpected callers would cause me great stress lol! Because I don't have many guests, I'm not used to cooking for others so I find that stressful too.

Overall I just find it a hassle and will do anything to get out of hosting anbody.

Spanish Eyes · 08-09-2021 8:00pm

From another angle......I can never understand why some people impose themselves on others by staying over. Maybe it's just me, but there is no way I'd do that. Nothing wrong with friends who live "down the country" at all, lovely people, but I'd feel awkward staying in someone's house. Worry that I have overslept while they are all waiting downstairs for me to have breakfast and are far too polite to give a roar to get me out of the scratcher. Oh and going to the toilet in the middle of the night, am I waking anyone up? Will I meet someone on the landing while in a state of undress? And don't start me on drooling on the pillows.

I don't mind anyone calling in to see me, it's very nice of them to think of me while passing, but they know by now they have to bring their own biscuits, and if I have something to do, somewhere to go I say it immediately. I would always text before dropping in to see someone if I'm in the area. It's polite to give a heads up.

FintanMcluskey · 08-09-2021 8:10pm

I am a far better guest than a host

John_Rambo · 08-09-2021 8:13pm

Love entertaining. Like having guests, like friends & family calling over.

Juran · 08-09-2021 8:32pm

I had a female friend in college, she was invited to stay at another friends home down the country for the weekend. This was the mid 90's. The other girl's house was a 1970's house, still 70's decorated, carpets in everyroom.

They went out on the town on the friday night. My friend woke during the night to go for a pee, not wanting to wake anyone she didnt switch on the bathroom light, she was half asleep, anyways she sat on the toilet and had a pee. Got up feeling wet, switched on the light ... the seat was down and the carpet around the toilet was soaked with pee. None of us was every invited to the other girl's home after that.

We still laugh at that story.

AllForIt · 08-09-2021 8:50pm

Christmas before last I spend xmas with my folks in the country. As dinner was being prepared and almost ready some neighbour of theirs(who I had no clue of), turned up. My Farther then invited him into the house as they were initially talking by the road. My dad then had bits of his xmas dinner in the front room talking to this guy, so basically our xmas family dinner turned out to be like any other day. It was really my farther's fault as he invited him into the house. He wouldn't be into the formalities of xmas dinner, so it looks like he found a way to skip all that. Such a burden for him one day of the year. We were all a bit annoyed as it didn't feel like xmas dinner at all.

I live in an town apartment at the mo so noone can just rock up but I don't mind if people do generally. But there are times when it's inappropriate and xmas day would be the most obviously inappropriate time to do so.

Strumms · 08-09-2021 9:20pm

the neighbor was an asshole... why would you just turn up unannounced to somebody on Christmas Day afternoon, especially when you are just a neighbor ? Bizarre.. secondly why if you are that neighbor would you not on seeing that a Christmas dinner was being served....not insist you were leaving instead of splitting up the household for your own petty benefit just to have a fûcking yap...

John_Rambo · 08-09-2021 11:21pm

I live suburban village close to the city, so it's rare that friends & my family stay over, they walk, taxi or cycle home after dinner and a few drinks.

The in-laws are rural and they come over to stay. The novelty of walking to the pub after dinner is a godsend! They head off and have a (good few) scoops in a couple of the local pubs, enjoy some of the live music while we get the kids to bed... then it's breakfast and they're gone to the fish monger to stock up on fish or IKEA or to the city centre and gone. Perfect grandparenting for us and them!! It's fantastic to see them, they're low maintenance and love the mini city break. As the family gets bigger the older kids and me are relegated to the camper van in the driveway, and that's a novelty too.

All good. We like people, the pandemic was a bad hit for us, we realised our lives centred around conviviality and meet ups in each others houses and we really missed that old tradition of visiting, entertaining, eating, drinking, talking, story telling & basically seeing people with no TV's or radios on. Looking forward to it coming back.

Really hoping the pandemic hasn't extinguished the culture.

Deregos. · 08-09-2021 11:29pm

Growing up in a house where we weren't ever allowed to have friends over and very few visitors ever called, I now love having people over to my gaff socialising and the more kids running around the place , playing the better.

09-09-2021 7:04am

I love it. I have over the last decade or so become an obsessive amateur hobbyist chef. So I love having people over to work this on.

But most of all I have dropped out of the Irish Pub Drinking scene. It just stopped doing it for me. So now I throw a once a month house party for all my friends and close ones and it is large and loud and wonderful. And I would not want to live without it. I love it. They love it. Long may it continue.

Jequ0n · 09-09-2021 8:24am

I hate people invading my privacy, and I barely let anyone into my place.

smacl · 09-09-2021 8:32am

Love having people call around, always up for a natter and a coffee or a beer. Better if they text or whatsapp first to check if I'm going to be there or have something else on, but no biggy if not. My kids (22 & 18) also had mates over a fair bit over the Summer so there's regularly one or two extra bodies knocking around the house. Nice having people stay over too but also sometimes nice to see them go and get a bit of quiet back and recharge.

PoisonIvyBelle · 09-09-2021 11:19pm

This reminds me of early days with my boyfriend when he called around very early unexpected and I opened the door then closed it in his face in shock.😂 Opened it again about 5min later after I made myself look less like a demon.

But na, I don't like anyone coming around unexpected. I let him in now (obv!) but if he didn't text me before coming over he'd chancing it, depends on the mood I'm in. Same with anyone else. I work from home, so I could be working or I could have other plans or I could just be happy out doing nothing without company.

If it's planned, it's fine. I've a small 1 bed apt but my bro and sis come to stay and I've friends close by who'd call over now and then.Wouldn't be into anyone staying here overnight for more than a few days because my living room is also my kitchen and my office so I'd have zero space for myself.

Sgt Hartman · 10-09-2021 6:51am

My main issue is the house cleaning beforehand. I'm easy going but the OH wants the place looking like a pristine showhouse before any guests arrive and gets quite angry if things aren't at a certain standard. By the time the guest arrives myself and the OH are tired and cranky as a result. My sister is coming in a week's time so I'll have to go through this rigmarole all over again :(

10-09-2021 7:21am

It’s nice to have people call around. If I’m not in the mood for people I make sure the door is locked and generally read my book upstairs and relax. Otherwise I tip around the house as normal. If I’m busy I just don’t sit down when people call I cook, wash dishes or work outside. People don’t stay if you’re busy. We have a few friends who call but most would text. We have visitors staying with us at the moment for the week but anyone staying like that will ask. They’re easy going. If people stay overnight they have to ask or be invited so that’s easy enough to manage.

10-09-2021 8:28am

I'm lucky that I never have unwanted guests.

Anyone that does arrive unannounced is someone I like and they generally have the cop on to know if I'm busy.

Panthro · 10-09-2021 8:34am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117865355#Comment_117865355

Does the neighbour have a family?

He may have been looking for a dinner.

lertsnim · 10-09-2021 8:36am

I don't want anyone calling to me for a surprise visit. At least send a text so I can make an excuse to not be there.

jmreire · 10-09-2021 9:09am

Visitors are welcome twice, once when they arrive, and then when they leave....I have a few lifelong friends and 24/7, they are welcome,and I'm welcome to visit them unannounced too. But thats it, all others need to apply in advance. And personally, I keep the Nrs of my visits to other peoples houses very small.

smacl · 10-09-2021 9:11am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117865355#Comment_117865355

Growing up, we had one or two people show up on Christmas day most years. If we were eating, they'd pull up a chair and have a drink or some food if any was still going. Next door neighbours would still often pop in on Christmas day and lift a glass. Personally, I really enjoy the informality of it, even if myself and the kids have spent plenty of hours cooking.

Hooked · 10-09-2021 9:29am

Great thread...

In the main, I like people visiting. But... not unannounced. I'd NEVER rock up to my folks, cousins or mates without a text or visit agreed in advance. We're in the middle of a move at present (fingers crossed) and a HUGE part of buying the 'new gaff' was having the space to invite family & friends, throw parties and have the extra rooms (and parking space) for family and friends to stay over. Only last night we had a lovely evening at my cousins house... once we'd all agreed a day that suited everybody.

I just cannot stand people arriving unannounced... my sister-in-laws family are demons for this - and NEVER know when to 'read the room' and see that they are arriving at a bad time. They could literally be headed out the door, and she (my SIL) will do a 180, take the coats off the kids backs, and put the kettle on. Her brothers are arriving every other day to be fed!

I'd RUN THEM!!!

smurfjed · 11-09-2021 12:00pm

We never lock our front door during the day, so friends can just wonder in whenever they wish, perfectly normal for us to be sitting in the upstairs kitchen and have friends appear at the door, on some of these unplanned days we can end up with over 20 people hanging out in the house :)

Do you like having guests at your place?

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