fiances fortieth birthday

Mad_maxx · 28-07-2021 6:04pm #1

Hi all , hope perhaps that I might get some opinions

My fiance ( we have two children and are getting married next year ) is forty next month and while she has always talked about how she would love a Chanel bag more than anything on earth , I have in mind to instead buy her three nights in London with tickets to a west end show , she loves musicals and was in amateur drama for years , I honestly do not mind if she takes a friend her mum instead of myself on the short break but feel the trip is the better gift ?

notAMember · 28-07-2021 6:29pm

Ask her.

Mad_maxx · 28-07-2021 6:32pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117675032#Comment_117675032

No , that would ruin the surprise

Fizzlesque · 28-07-2021 6:37pm

Are they the same price? If yes, I'd get her the bag.

If there's a bag she's always wanted, she will probably get many years' enjoyment and happiness from it. I know I would. I love bags and have bought a few that were pricier than I could afford but I bought them and years later still get great joy from them. If you get the right bag, it could be something she still uses many years from now. And it will remind her of you :-)

Rket4000 · 28-07-2021 6:37pm

If it was me, I'd prefer the item I'd always said I'd love.

Prominent_Dawg · 28-07-2021 7:04pm

I'd say the bag, as it would have sentimental value as a birthday gift, but you need to know the exact style and colour she wants, especially when paying that money

Feisar · 28-07-2021 7:18pm

Man here.

I’d say the bag. In terms of the surprise I’d say bring her to BT and say “take yer pick. I don’t the same with my wife, brought her to Brown Thomas, up the red steps, Louboutins in my case and said take your pic. The shopping experience was half the thrill.

Mad_maxx · 28-07-2021 7:40pm

to be honest , im struggling with the idea of her wanting that kind of money spent on something like a handbag , I know a lot of women do really love bags but i would personally be embarrassed to have my Mrs carry a chanel bag around as i view such things as such a huge extravagance , not all bags , i spent several hundred on a Michael Korrs bag for her a number of years ago , five or six grand is a different matter though

I dont view spending large amounts of money on travel as a waste so its not the sum total cost i have issues with

appledrop · 28-07-2021 7:52pm

Mad Maxx it's her birthday and her choice not yours.

I certainly wouldn't want a trip to London at the moment. Are you mad the place is riddled with Covid!

I do understand its a huge amount of money for a bag, couldn't justify it myself either but whole point of fortieth is to do something extragravent!

Unfortunately mine was during lockdown but we lived it up in 5 star hotel when we could because that's what I wanted, you only live once.Everyone is different.

Mad_maxx · 28-07-2021 9:49pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117675341#Comment_117675341

we dont worry about the whole covid thing

notAMember · 29-07-2021 10:20am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117675041#Comment_117675041

Does it have to be a surprise? Does she like those? Personally, I'm not into surprises at all.

It's tricky asking a bunch of total randomers on the internet who don't know this person maybe. Women aren't a hive mind etc.

I place very little value on either bags with metal letters on the front or west end shows, so what you've described would be disappointing if it was my 40th. A tree for the garden, or something for my bike would be more my thing.

jim o doom · 29-07-2021 10:29am

I'd be inclined to discuss it with my wife. I know the idea of a surprise is important to you, but is it as important to her? who is the surprise for? If you talk to her after the fact and you've gotten a trip, and she'd have much preferred the option you didn't pick (bag), she will likely be very disappointed.

You said you wouldn't mind if she took her mum, which indicates you might hope that she takes you instead.. so the money spent would then be either partially on you or partially on her mum, not just her.

The whole struggling with her walking around with a fancy bag? don't worry about that man, lots of ladies have high quality fakes, so everyone walking around with a Chanel logo hasn't necessarily spent several grand on it.

With the amount of money involved, I think the value of the surprise is much lower than the value of getting the right amount of happiness and enjoyment for your fiancee for the large amount you are considering spending.

Buddy Bubs · 29-07-2021 10:29am

Don't buy a bag for 5 or 6 grand, you are dead right. Doesn't matter how much money you have or how much she wants it, that's a joke. The designers must be laughing every time someone buys one.

Prominent_Dawg · 29-07-2021 11:20am

If you don't want to get her the bag then don't.. I'm not sure about a trip to London though, unless you are gonna pay a lot of money to make it a luxurious trip, London is very expensive for what it is, give me a cheap sun holiday any day

Mad_maxx · 29-07-2021 7:07pm

Arnotts have " pre loved " chanel bags on their site

I see uk sites with used bags as well , obviously some people are content to buy used bags ?

Daisy78 · 29-07-2021 10:54pm

Oh Lord please do not consider getting her a second hand bag or a fake. I can’t imagine she would be too impressed.

I did the three day London trip for my fortieth and loved it but that was pre Covid times. I think given current circumstances it could be a while before you would be in a position to do something like that. I do get that some people would balk at spending such an extravagant amount of money on a bag but Chanel bags are almost like (a wearable) investment, an heirloom, the kind of thing you would keep forever. If she has mentioned it before then it might be the option to go with? Has she any sisters or friends you could consult to see what they think?

Mad_maxx · 30-07-2021 12:04pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117680669#Comment_117680669

It appears stores both here and UK sell pre owned bags so it must be relatively common?

appledrop · 30-07-2021 1:43pm

Whatever you do under no circumstances buy the second hand bag!

You will be in bad books, anyway they are not even that much cheaper considering they are second hand.

appledrop · 30-07-2021 1:56pm

Mad Maxx I really think you need to forget about surprise element, I actually couldn't think of anything worse.

Imagine spending the money on chanel bag + it's not the one she wants!

As someone else suggested why not book a day out say just before her birthday, go out for fancy lunch/ afternoon tea or whatever she likes then into Brown Thomas to pick the bag( that's even if they stock them they are very expensive!)

If your going for trip abroad instead surely you would need to check first dates etc anyway with her?

notAMember · 30-07-2021 1:57pm

Why the disdain for sustainability and re-use of heirloom goods?

If these bags are ever-lasting, what's wrong with a vintage one?

appledrop · 30-07-2021 2:04pm

Your still taking about €3,000- €5,000 and some of them already have good bit of wear and tear on them.

They are usually leather so will age so why would you pay that money for one someone has already used + might not have taken care of properly.

Ash.J.Williams · 30-07-2021 2:07pm

nobody should have a chanel bag

honeyjo · 30-07-2021 2:10pm

Vintage Chanel bags are much better quality than the new bags that Chanel are producing today. The prices have risen twice this year and the quality has dropped. If you fiancee wants a Chanel bag vintage is the way to go.

gtv2002g · 30-07-2021 2:15pm

Just buy the lady her bag

namloc1980 · 30-07-2021 2:32pm

€5k or €6k for a bag is crazy. Could never justify that.

mrslancaster · 30-07-2021 2:33pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117682284#Comment_117682284

It is becoming more common but I'd be a bit peeved if my OH bought me anything second-hand for a special birthday. Weekends away are not really for something extra special these days & if she brings her mother, then it's as much a gift for your MiL as for your fiancee.

I'd agree with other posters, have a special birthday lunch in a lovely restaurant in dublin & visit BT to pick or order the bag of her choosing. Or you could plan an overnight trip to London or Paris for the two of you. You'd have two days to see the sights & go shopping for the bag while there, lots of fancy brand name shops in both cities. That would be a special treat imo.

Mad_maxx · 30-07-2021 6:22pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117683021#Comment_117683021

a new chanel bag is up on 8 k from what i can see ?

Spanish Eyes · 30-07-2021 6:33pm

Are these bags hand made, or mass produced in foreign sweatshops lol.

I'd love to know. There was a story out around the start of Covid in Italy, that many Chinese were employed in the fashion industry around Milan and brought the virus with them after Chinese New Year spent in China. I often wonder if high fashion and ridiculously priced bags are a total scam!

I wouldn't go to London personally right now, but if she wants a certain bag, that's what to get her. Within your 000s budget of course. It will make her happy for a longer time than a trip to London anyway.

notAMember · 31-07-2021 8:11am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117683178#Comment_117683178

You do you, but just to add an alternative opinion, I absolutely treasure gifts that have some history to them. The quality is often better than recent mass production and it’s better for the environment in general to reuse. It’s tricky to balance thinking about the planet and not being consumerist when you also love beautiful things, this way works for me.

Two quick examples… I have a gorgeous 60’s ash ercol armchair that was a gift. It’s stunning looking and ridiculously comfortable. Modern furniture doesn’t come near the quality. I also have a blindingly beautiful Poole delphis platter, 70’s, secondhand. That was a milestone birthday gift from my mum who knows me well! :) Neither were crazy money I think (I Hope!). The plate was found in a charity shop. I love using both. The original craftspeople and artists are long finished producing so they are rare finds.

I see vintage shops popping up alright more these days and am delighted to see that being a trend.

Mad_maxx · 31-07-2021 9:15am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117683021#Comment_117683021

a new chanel bag is up on 8 k from what i can see ?

Mad_maxx · 31-07-2021 9:17am

Screenshot_20210731-091616_Chrome.jpg

Screenshot_20210731-091708_Chrome.jpg

This looks interesting

kirving · 31-07-2021 9:31am

I know someone who went to London to buy a Burberry bag. The saving vs the Dublin price more than paid for the flights and a night in a hotel.

That was before Brexit, and now you'd have to declare it, but worth considering.

I tend to appreciate mechanical things, I'd have no trouble with spending that money on a watch, mountain bike or nicer car. I wouldn't personally spend it on a bag, but it's just a different form of craftsmanship really.

BabysCoffee · 31-07-2021 9:34am

I was contemplating buying tickets for a particular musical in the UK and already the show has been rescheduled and dates pushed out numerous times. Additionally the whole travel thing is very much up in the air.

I'd probably go with the bag - it's definitely the less hassle and safer option in these times.

Mad_maxx · 31-07-2021 12:05pm

not sure those attachments were possible to view earlier so here is something which looks interesting , 1997 model

https://www.designerexchange.ie/collections/handbags/products/chanel-vintage-apricot-lambskin-small-classic-double-flap-1997

appledrop · 31-07-2021 1:17pm

Most women would go for classic black for such a statement bag because it will go with everything.

Yellow wouldn't be a colour bag I'd ever go for, even chanel!

Mad_maxx · 31-07-2021 1:55pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117686561#Comment_117686561

how about this one ?

https://www.designerexchange.ie/collections/handbags/products/chanel-gabrielle-black-flap-crossbody-bag

Mad_maxx · 31-07-2021 2:27pm

https://www.vestiairecollective.com/women-bags/handbags/chanel/black-leather-timeless-classique-chanel-handbag-12542125.shtml

i presume this is nice ?

Toots · 31-07-2021 2:47pm

I know you want it to be a surprise, but if you're planning on buying a "pre loved" bag for that kind of money, you really need to run it past your wife first. She may prefer a "vintage" one, but similarly it could wind up being a very expensive mistake.

31-07-2021 3:18pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117686976#Comment_117686976

This post here ^ read it over and over.

I would never like to spend the kind of money on a bag that's being talked about here. I think the whole thing is absolute nonsense and is created as a means for people who have more money than sense (millionaires etc.) to spend their money. That said, if I was in your situation, OP, I'd just bite the bullet and bring her shopping and for a nice meal. If you want it to be a surprise, just tell her you're going to go for a meal and give her a hair/makeup/whatever voucher beforehand. Then announce at the meal that 'sure why don't we pop over to look at the chanel bags, wink wink'.

That way it's still a surprise, but she gets to pick the bag herself. And you know for sure that she really likes it and will cherish it and wear it with pride. Rather than risking her feigning 'ohhh.. yea.. I.. love it' when you produce a second-hand bag you got online that she hates.

It's far too risky. I'd rather spend €8k and know I can rest assured she's a happy camper, than spend €4k on something that'll never leave the wardrobe 'to keep it safe'.

Also, as another poster suggested above, I would assume that the shopping experience is a large part of buying a bag in the first place.

appledrop · 31-07-2021 8:14pm

That one is nice but Mad Maxx people who like Channel can be really picky about exact one they want.

I know from a blogger that some obsessed with a 'boy' chanel bag others want a classic flip etc.

Now I have absolutely no idea what that all means but if you financee is that into the Chanel bags do not pick a random 2nd hand one just bring her shopping!

The only thing I can compare it with is getting my eternity ring after I had my 1st child. The whole excitement was going into fancy jewellers and picking it out!

You can't bring those 2nd hand bags back + it would be mad money to spend if she diesnt even like it!

Daisy78 · 01-08-2021 4:26pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117682979#Comment_117682979

There is nothing wrong with pre loved items but not as a gift for for a fortieth birthday.

Daisy78 · 01-08-2021 4:31pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117686733#Comment_117686733

Again that is second hand.

wotzgoingon · 01-08-2021 4:38pm

I actually brought this topic up with my mother after reading this thread and she said the trip rather than bag but then again she doesn't own anything expensive. Not her thing.

If those bags really are that expensive I wouldn't buy one as a surprise(incase you get the wrong one)

Maybe wait till her 40th birthday and say on the day bag or holiday and let her decide and if she wants the bag she can pick the one she wants.

Mad_maxx · 01-08-2021 11:06pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117691866#Comment_117691866

It costs several thousand, a second hand chanel is not the same as a second hand pair of runners

DavyD_83 · 01-08-2021 11:35pm

Setting aside the fact that I probably wouldn't have that much to spend on a birthday present. If the bag is "in budget" it seems like a no brainer. And if you're not sure of specific bag either buy with ability to return and swap or as said above just bring her to the shop and surprise her with the fact she can actually buy one.

"while she has always talked about how she would love a Chanel bag more than anything on earth , I have in mind to.."

I read this as "I 100% know she would love the bag, by I'm thinking of getting her something else"

Toots · 02-08-2021 12:49am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117693416#Comment_117693416

Yeah but there's a difference between a "vintage" Chanel bag, and a 2nd hand one. A vintage one would be a collector's item and could cost as much or more than a new one. The ones on that designer exchange website would fall into the category of 2nd hand or "pre loved". I know it's not the same as a pair of runners, but some of the bags listed as in "great" condition do look... used. You'd also need to see if they come with all the little accessories that a new one would come with, like the fancy box and dust bag and authenticity card.

If her dream is to own a Chanel bag, it's pretty likely she's picturing a shiny new one, and if you surprise her with a pre-owned one, she may be disappointed. If you're going to go down the pre-owned route, you really need to run it past her first, maybe let her choose which one. If you're really not comfortable dropping 8k or whatever on a bag for her, then don't. However, I'd steer clear of booking trips away because of all the uncertainty about travel at the moment.

Neyite · 10-08-2021 10:06am

I'm ridiculously fussy with handbags. The smallest buckle or stitching or size of logo can put me right off.

OH got me an expensive bag picked out by his sister once. It was...nice, but not my style. She likes crossbody ones, I wanted a clutch at the time. A chanel bag is a once in a lifetime gift, and unless you know whether she would love vintage, new, coloured, plain, etc it really is best to let her pick it out.

It'd be like her picking out your dream car. That one that if you had enough money, you'd own and know exactly what model, year, colour, interior & features you have your heart set on that you saw once as a young man and hankered after since. She, on the other hand, knows very little about cars, and especially the specifics of your dream one and thinks fancy ones are a total waste of money when a basic 1.4 Golf does the job perfectly. Which would you prefer - her picking you out that once in a lifetime purchase or her saying "here's your budget, go find that dream car you are always on about"? It's still a fabulous surprise.

Mad_maxx · 10-08-2021 11:40am

Two nights in Kensington in October booked with a show in West end

Do the bag thing some other time

el_gaucho · 10-08-2021 2:22pm

Good decision in my opinion.

Sleepy · 10-08-2021 2:41pm

Right decision imo but just on the idea of doing a vintage anything for a big birthday: get a vintage one from the year of her birth.

fiances fortieth birthday

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