After how long with zero success should I delete my pic profile

jimjangles · 30-06-2021 06:20PM

It isn't.
This is a forum.
I don't generally go around saying what I really
think.
I"m alone most of the time.
Thanks for the vote of confidence anyway.

30-06-2021 06:22PM

jimjangles wrote: »

It isn't.
This is a forum.
I don't generally go around saying what I really
think.
I"m alone most of the time.
Thanks for the vote of confidence anyway.

Well there's your problem. You openly admit you are dishonest in real life.

Work on that first.

you cant expect people to congratulate you for your online honesty or give you a confidence boost when you come on and say some pretty ****ty things

gsi300024v · 30-06-2021 06:24PM

Potential-Monke wrote: »

Like the OP, I've had zero luck on dating apps/sites, I've tried POF, Bumble, Tinder, AdultFriendFinder, and a few others I can't think of. Facebook is trying to get me in on the Facebook dating craic, but to be honest, not while there's still a pandemic ongoing, thanks!

I discovered that, regardless of what I put in my profile, I'm just not what women think they want. I'm only 5'6", but apparantly if you put your actual height down then it's already considered to be taller than what you actually are. And at 5'6", I'm basically out of the running for most women on these apps. Include that I'm ginger and don't look like Jason Momoa, well, yeah, no success. As far as i'm concerned, dating apps are shopping lists for women, the man is always starting on the back foot, simply because a lot of women on these apps think highly of themselves and think they can get their Momoa, and it's flooded with men both single and in relationships just looking to get the ride.

I gave up after about 6 years of trying. It was taking up too much time for literally no return. I accepted that I'm not visually attractive enough to even garner a bit of attention. I don't think I'm ugly, but I'm just not what most women appear to look for. I could prove I'm an excellent partner if they gave me a chance, but they won't even reply. And it gets you down after a while, makes you think there's something wrong with you. My suggestion it to get off them all and start to live life like you don't need no woman. Be happy with yourself first, and if a woman happens to want to be part of it, great. If not, well, at least you don't have to deal with all the negative aspects of relationships! There's always Asian/Russian brides!! Soon as I have a few quid spared up, I'll probably buy a Japanese wife*.

* I most likely won't

I used to think the ginger thing held me back until I dated some women who wanted me because I'm ginger not in spite of it, we're exotic to foreign women, they don't know that ginger is bad in Ireland for men and pretty for women. To prove it, make ur profile out as gay, you'll have Brazilians galore onto you.
OP you do seem very negative and often we can have that story about the world in our heads and ignore any evidence to the contrary, not wanting this narrative to be changed.
Would you be a glass half full time about family, friends, work?

B.A._Baracus · 30-06-2021 06:25PM

Hey Jim,
I can see your feeling down with internet dating. A lot of guys do after a while so it's perfectly normal. Everything you've said I have heard others say it.

At very least take a break from it. Perhaps even come to the conclusion to throw it there.

jimjangles · 30-06-2021 06:35PM

Deleted User wrote: »

You seem nice.

You get the same crap years upon years, no opportunities, no companionship and you end up on your own with a lonely, miserable, unemployed future
Every job you interview for you get turned down
All women turn you down.
Nobody gives you a chance at anything.
Then you get a poxy letter giving you a so called opportunity to go sweep up the streets, do what prisoners do.
After wasting years doing a degree and doing courses.
You end up being rejected and treated like junk by society while others are prospering.
I'm a nice person.
I just got rejected by this country and treated like an outcast for too long.
So forgive me if I come across as not being a hoot
The people who know me know I'm a decent person.
I've done right by everyone in my life at all times and have been kind to the people who know me at all times.
Fact is you don't know me.

Anyway I'm fed up, I've had enough of this really.

30-06-2021 06:51PM

jimjangles wrote: »

You get the same crap years upon years, no opportunities, no companionship and you end up on your own with a lonely, miserable, unemployed future
Every job you interview for you get turned down
All women turn you down.
Nobody gives you a chance at anything.
Then you get a poxy letter giving you a so called opportunity to go sweep up the streets, do what prisoners do.
After wasting years doing a degree and doing courses.
You end up being rejected and treated like junk by society while others are prospering.
I'm a nice person.
I just got rejected by this country and treated like an outcast for too long.
So forgive me if I come across as not being a hoot
The people who know me know I'm a decent person.
I've done right by everyone in my life at all times and have been kind to the people who know me at all times.
Fact is you don't know me.

Anyway I'm fed up, I've had enough of this really.

You sound depressed chief. All I can advise is that you seek help. It's not easy but it can work.

It isn't healthy to take your frustrations out on others or on yourself. You end up caught in a vicious cycle. That's why getting professional help or talking to a charity helpline may help you see things from a different perspective.

I wish you all the best. I don't think this thread will be of any benefit for you.

gsi300024v · 30-06-2021 07:02PM

I've done right by everyone in my life at all times and have been kind to the people who know me at all times.
Fairplay to you, I definitely haven't done this, but I have learnt to say sorry if I've mistreated people. And yep I'd look at some therapy, I was a bit more like yourself before I got help, bored, watched a lot of TV, not many pals and not much going on, therapy definitely helped, I can still notice all the what's wrong with my life at times more than the what's right, but far less than I used to before I got some help.

My pal has a bit of an attitude, he's always doing right by everyone, wife, kids, friends, people he works with etc, and they all do wrong by him, I definitely feel for him. He could benefit from some therapy. He also keeps trying to flog the same dead horse of our old school hood friendships that do feck all tgt the last 15 yrs with marriages and kids about, yet if I invite him to comedy with others he might get on with etc, he says no. It's like he is more familiar with life being crappy and doesn't want to change it, still going on about why the lads do feck all and never say yes to his ideas to do stuff, get new PALS!!!

Don't flog a dead horse, meetup and therapy possibly are better than dating sites for you right now, and also fair play to you sticking out dating sites for years with not much success. I wouldn't be able for that, my ego too delicate.

quinnd6 · 30-06-2021 07:10PM

Oops sorry wrong thread.

Surreptitious · 30-06-2021 07:16PM

I was rude before I read your explanation. I don't think this has anything to do with dating. You should do a course or look for work even volunteering. I volunteer and it helped my confidence. Then when you have self esteem back you can try again. Good luck

jimjangles · 30-06-2021 07:26PM

I'm fine.
Thanks for your input all.
No worries.
I'm going to dump the online dating and try to get a job.
Sorry if I wasted people's time.

Surreptitious · 30-06-2021 07:28PM

jimjangles wrote: »

I'm fine.
Thanks for your input all.
No worries.
I'm going to dump the online dating and try to get a job.
Sorry if I wasted people's time.

You wasted no time. This is an open forum for people to talk.

MissShihTzu · 30-06-2021 07:32PM

The Mighty Quinn wrote: »

Haven't used apps since 2014. I met my now wife on POF. It used to be an absolute sh*tshow of an app, I probably went on first dates with 30 women I met on it, maybe second dates with 15.

Talked to about 200 women, painful.

Met my husband on PoF too! He was probably the second person to talk to me. And the only one who was remotely normal, treated me with respect and didn't try to get his leg over on the first date!

Galwayguy35 · 30-06-2021 08:11PM

The way we used to do it finding someone in a pub before any dating apps were even heard of was a lot less complicated.

Logged back into POF earlier on for the first time in about 2 years and a lot of the same women are on it, a few of them lookers as well so it doesn't even seem to work for those who hit the genetic jackpot either.

MissShihTzu · 30-06-2021 08:14PM

OP - You seem very angry, frustrated, low on confidence and depressed. You also sound very misogynistic (although I think that's borne out of frustration more than anything). It can't be easy living rural, unemployed and seeking a partner - I get it.

Why don't you tackle one thing at a time? First and foremost, try your best to get a job. If you need to retrain, volunteer, network? Do it! That will boost you up no end.

Next - save a little money if you can. Get out of the rural life and go somewhere like a big town. Doesn't have to be a city. Just somewhere with more going on.
You'll start to meet more people that way.

Finally - once you've got yourself sorted with some activities? The rest might fall into place. You might even meet someone nice!

Try it at least. Stay off the online stuff for a while.

NiceFella · 30-06-2021 08:20PM

jimjangles wrote: »

I'm fine.
Thanks for your input all.
No worries.
I'm going to dump the online dating and try to get a job.
Sorry if I wasted people's time.

You are not wasting people's time one bit. I can tell you are a nice fella like myself just a bit fed up. I've been there believe me.

I think you are right jim, take a good break away from the online dating. Its not the be all and end all and woukd not be too worried about that. I will say and urge you to try consider getting chatting to some one with the way you are feeling at the moment. It can help enormously.

On the job front as another poster said volunteering might open doors for you. I had a cousin who did it and it really got him connected up with people. Not a bad option.

gsi300024v · 30-06-2021 08:21PM

The ones I found seemed to be ones who said they wanted a relationship but when they met someone who might be able to hold a relationship with them they got scared, afraid of that commitment and risk.
They could sort of saying to themselves they were looking for a relationship because they were online dating, a bit like someone going to AA and getting pissed on their way home, they could fool themselves into thinking they were working on their drinking. I actually said this to one lady I'd dates with for a month.
She saw someone for 2 months before me, went right back online after, we got on well but she would weekly say I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship, it's said she was in profile. I'd be like her therapist and explain it's not a relationship, we know each other for two weeks and we're just enjoying the dates she'd relax, we'd enjoy the date and 4 days later she'd freak again. We stopped seeing each other eventually when I felt I didn't want to be her therapist, and she went back online dating asap with tag I want a relationship.

Lesalare · 30-06-2021 08:23PM

POF just attracts the dregs of society.

gsi300024v · 30-06-2021 08:23PM

Volunteering can help with my noodle, if you are stuck in your own head with your own worries, it can be great to step out of that and think of someone else and help someone for nothing else than you want to.
I did a bit with the homeless before and mixed with some really nice other volunteers and came home after it feeling very lucky about my lot in life and after having some great chats.

jimjangles · 15-07-2021 02:55PM

I deleted my account on POF and Bumble and gave up on women. Romance is dead in the 21st century as far as I'm concerned. I'm too old now to find anyone as I'm 39 and felt stupid having my photo on a crappy dating site when no woman was ever going to even look at it and I knew no woman would ever reply to me if I messaged as I got plenty of ignores before. I'm finished with it now, that's my update.

Mango Joe · 15-07-2021 04:20PM

https://boards.ie/discussion/comment/117555532#Comment_117555532

Hmmm I am interpreting this as you to a degree not being entirely happy with where you are at in your life right now - Even before considering the dating thing.

Set some achievable goals, get a professional cert in something, start a course that might lead to a career, put down some kilometres walking,running or cycling. Exercise doesn't just give you a healthier body - Its usually good for your mental state also - If you see results and progress it will also help your self-image and confidence.

Volunteer somewhere, help others, push yourself socially for the sheer practice of it - try and be the sort of person who has a few of the qualities you'd typically admire when seen in others.

Talk to people about themselves, their lives, their interests - If you can do this with any bit of genuine interest and sincerity its 87% of being a good conversationalist !!

Once you like and respect yourself a bit more you'll have confidence and this alongside being kind, thoughtful, pleasant and respectful company will guarantee you a decent shot with a lot of women who at the end of the day just want someone nice to spend some time with and feel good about themselves too.

You can be certain that there's is so many women sitting in every evening that feel they're unattractive, undateable, unwanted, too short, heavy, plain and whatever other insecurity they've going on - It's such a pity that people can't be routinely matched off someone as its really crap all round......

Oh and drop the self-pity and idiotic comments about women being calculating, manipulative Witches - That's never ever going to be attractive to anyone of any sex - It's a miserable, whiny siege-mentality that's going to repel everyone universally.

After how long with zero success should I delete my pic profile

Comments