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After buy disappointments

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13

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    #62
    Toots
    Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,905 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    Mr.Thompson wrote: »
    kind of happened us.
    Went to the house the morning for final inspection.
    Garage full of ****e,old pvc windows,a pallet of random tiles etc etc
    Told them I wanted them gone and the old fella said he left them there in case we needed them.....
    I would have been pissed but he also left 1000s worth of gardening tools including a big mower.

    OK I think I'd put up with the rubbish for the mower and all the tools :D


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    #63
    Ardent
    Registered Users Posts: 5,282 ✭✭✭Ardent


    Cash_Q wrote: »
    Bought first house in 2018 after renting for 15+yrs , lovely settled estate near my family home, just within budget, ok decor and plenty of scope to put our own stamp on it.. kept pinching ourselves wondering what's the catch.. not one, not two, but three sets of neighbours from hell in our terrace. An otherwise lovely, calm, settled cul de sac, but these 3 were notorious among everyone once we got talking to the other neighbours. We sold and moved after 2.5 years, I'm sure you'll see why..

    1 - elderly woman who essentially stalked our movements, appearing in the front and back gardens at the same time as us. Leaning out an upstairs window if she couldn't get downstairs quickly enough. Repeating conversations back to me that she eavesdropped on. Commenting on everything from our clothes, bins, visitors, state of the garden, choice of supermarkets, other neighbours drinking habits, previous occupiers sex life (!), her own underwear, bird**** on the window.. insisted on gifting us things for our baby, constantly reminding us that she did so. Considered herself a good neighbour. Polished her clean windows while we were having photos taken of the house to sell, she was IN the photos of the front of the house on Daft ffs. Lived there most of her life and acted as if she owned our house as well as her own.

    2 - family of drug addicts. Fights morning, noon and night, parties raging, pregnant teen drinking, local youths invited to smash up their furniture outside their house and take it for bonfire wood, son released from prison died of an overdose in the house. Smoking out the back at all hours of the night, chatting and playing music. Sound insulation was so poor we could hear their kettle boil at night so imagine how amplified all that other stuff was. Renting long term from the council so little chance of them being moved on. We were attached directly to their right, you'd think the house attached to their left would complain? Nah, that brings me onto...

    3 - small time drug dealer, supporting the needs of 2 above! Bench in the front garden for drinking in the sun with occupants of 2 above, music blaring from the car on the drive. Smart comments about everything and anything as we tried to come and go quickly and quietly. Inherited the house from his mother so not going anywhere and acted like he owned the whole terrace. Relationship broke down and he started drinking with the local homeless addicts and bringing them around the place. Front porch kicked in by teens over drugs/money, of course he said it was mistaken identity.

    We miraculously sold that house at a small profit enabling us to move just 1km up the road. Best thing we ever did, don't know ourselves with the peace and quiet. Lovely neighbours all around us. That first house we had driven up and down the street at all times of the day and night, nothing could have warned us about these people. Sale occurred between Nov-March.. if we had seen the garden drinking in the summer that would have set alarm bells but nothing in the world could have prepared us for how bad it was.

    We are extremely lucky to have gotten away!

    At least you have a great dinner story!


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    #64
    Ardent
    Registered Users Posts: 5,282 ✭✭✭Ardent


    ebayissues wrote: »
    There's defo for after purchase regrets and thoughts, my own house has funny noises which seems to be coming from the wall - more from my neighbors side. I can hear my neighbor laughing whilst watching TV but not their TV.
    I switched the bed in the main room and I can hear almost everything, when running up the stairs, shutting doors etc.
    They have a boiler opposite wall of second room, it turns on and off randomly and I can hear this from all floors upstairs.
    Floors, creaks, no underlay.
    It's a midterrace house,
    From both sides, i can hear neighbour's opening press, sometimes one of them at 5.3/6am in the morning.
    It's the noises that bother me the most, especially cylinder banging,
    Not sure what its tbh. It's as if someone is using hitting the radiators or something.
    Strange - also when washing machine is on,
    I can hear the rumbling. Not sure how a pre-inspection would cover anything of this.

    Apart from this, neighbors are sound. No issues at all.

    https://youtu.be/ZxYjkKKzMS4


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    #65
    cubatahavana
    Registered Users Posts: 990 ✭✭✭cubatahavana


    Ardent wrote: »
    https://youtu.be/ZxYjkKKzMS4

    We need more pixels. Was that on the RTE player?


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    #66
    Cash_Q
    Registered Users Posts: 1,920 ✭✭✭Cash_Q


    Ardent wrote:
    At least you have a great dinner story!

    Everyone around us is sick to the back teeth of hearing about it :P


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    #67
    SMdPP87
    Registered Users Posts: 29 ✭SMdPP87


    ongarboy wrote: »
    I think that this feeling of deflation or anti climax when you first move into a new home is more common than we realise even if you've bought a state of the art home with no apparent issues. Especially if you are moving somewhere new or unfamiliar, there's an unsettled feeling that can take time to dissipate. The only exception I think would be if you were escaping a previous home from hell.

    Thankfully I had no structural, sound quality or neighbour issues when I bought mine. However I also did have that initial deflated feel that first week but it did quickly go away. One gripe is that the previous owners left the wheelie bins full and had about 3 industrial size refuse sacks next to them with more rubbish. It took about 3 weeks of bin collections to clear their crap before I could start disposing my own. I was disappointed that they did that considering the amount of money I had handed over to them for the purchase!

    Was searching boards today hoping to find someone with similar sentiments. Not long in our home having searched for 2/3 years. Came up earlier this year, quick sale in the end and we’re fortunate to find something like this in the area. This house ticks almost all boxes however I have been so down since moved in. I’ve a pain in my stomach thinking we did the wrong thing. I really feel like I hate this house. I can’t see myself ever being happy here. We put some money into doing it up as we had planned for this to be our only home. However, since been doing the maths and I recognise for the same money I could have purchased previous houses that fell into bidding wars and to which we bowed out. I understand I sound like a privileged snob and should be blessed to have purchased in current climate, and I am thankful. I feel I can’t say it to my SO or family and friends as they’ll think I’m mad. I just lie awake at night wishing I could hand the keys back and hold out for a property I’m more sure about to come on.


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    #68
    Bargain_Hound
    Registered Users Posts: 521 ✭✭✭Bargain_Hound


    SMdPP87 wrote: »
    Was searching boards today hoping to find someone with similar sentiments. Not long in our home having searched for 2/3 years. Came up earlier this year, quick sale in the end and we’re fortunate to find something like this in the area. This house ticks almost all boxes however I have been so down since moved in. I’ve a pain in my stomach thinking we did the wrong thing. I really feel like I hate this house. I can’t see myself ever being happy here. We put some money into doing it up as we had planned for this to be our only home. However, since been doing the maths and I recognise for the same money I could have purchased previous houses that fell into bidding wars and to which we bowed out. I understand I sound like a privileged snob and should be blessed to have purchased in current climate, and I am thankful. I feel I can’t say it to my SO or family and friends as they’ll think I’m mad. I just lie awake at night wishing I could hand the keys back and hold out for a property I’m more sure about to come on.

    That is an awful state to be in. I can sort of relate, from our past experience in our previous property, it caused many many sleepless nights. I hated it. Once that thought gets under your skin, its very very difficult to shake off. But that was due to multiple reasons (some of which I outlined earlier in this thread).

    What is it in particular that makes you want to hand the keys back? Is it just the fact you "know" you could have had alternative houses that sold within your budget or is there more to it then that? If it is the former, then there are ways of dealing with that. Is your partner on the same page as you regarding your feelings?


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    #69
    Yellow_Fern
    Registered Users Posts: 2,576 ✭✭✭Yellow_Fern


    SMdPP87 wrote: »
    Was searching boards today hoping to find someone with similar sentiments. Not long in our home having searched for 2/3 years. Came up earlier this year, quick sale in the end and we’re fortunate to find something like this in the area. This house ticks almost all boxes however I have been so down since moved in. I’ve a pain in my stomach thinking we did the wrong thing. I really feel like I hate this house. I can’t see myself ever being happy here. We put some money into doing it up as we had planned for this to be our only home. However, since been doing the maths and I recognise for the same money I could have purchased previous houses that fell into bidding wars and to which we bowed out. I understand I sound like a privileged snob and should be blessed to have purchased in current climate, and I am thankful. I feel I can’t say it to my SO or family and friends as they’ll think I’m mad. I just lie awake at night wishing I could hand the keys back and hold out for a property I’m more sure about to come on.
    What is wrong with it?


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    #70
    SMdPP87
    Registered Users Posts: 29 ✭SMdPP87


    Bargain_Hound wrote: »
    That is an awful state to be in. I can sort of relate, from our past experience in our previous property, it caused many many sleepless nights. I hated it. Once that thought gets under your skin, its very very difficult to shake off. But that was due to multiple reasons (some of which I outlined earlier in this thread).

    What is it in particular that makes you want to hand the keys back? Is it just the fact you "know" you could have had alternative houses that sold within your budget or is there more to it then that? If it is the former, then there are ways of dealing with that. Is your partner on the same page as you regarding your feelings?

    Hi, thanks for reply. We have lived in the area for many years and I really hate the location of the house. I convinced myself it would be fine for months during the sales process. But the moment I moved in this wave of realisation came over me that I was wrong. Coupled with the thoughts of properties we possibly could have afford (and which continue to come on, I’m on daft every hour). I’ve just spent the past 24 hours reading our mortgage terms and trying to see how soon/if at at possible we could sell and trying to understand all that goes with it. I feel I need to understand the facts before I consider raising it with my SO and family. How long before you managed to get out of your previous property?


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    #71
    Dolbhad
    Registered Users Posts: 782 ✭✭✭Dolbhad


    Although we are living in Cork city, we don’t have broadband nearby so have satellite internet (which we knew beforehand) but pretty much no phone reception. Luckily neither of us work from home and wouldn’t have stopped us buying the house but wished I’d given more thought to living in a black hole for technology. Hoping I’m a few years broadband comes in as new estates already have planning approved to be built


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    #72
    Tork
    Registered Users Posts: 3,270 ✭✭✭Tork


    SMdPP87 wrote: »
    ... Coupled with the thoughts of properties we possibly could have afforded (and which continue to come on, I’m on daft every hour). I’ve just spent the past 24 hours reading our mortgage terms and trying to see how soon/if at at possible we could sell and trying to understand all that goes with it.

    I think you'd help your situation enormously if you stopped going near Daft or other property websites, looking in estate agent windows or keeping an eye on what's for sale now. I can't see how doing that is going to do anything other than make you even more miserable than you already are. Until you can sell your existing house (which I think you need to do), you are in no position to be able to buy something else. Looking at what you could have bought or would like to buy now is nothing but a means of self-flagellation. You can't actually buy a house at the moment and you need to deal with that part first. The housing market is not a static thing and what is on sale now may not be there when your time comes. You can only buy what's available at the time. Stop torturing yourself with what could have been.


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    #73
    Dolbhad
    Registered Users Posts: 782 ✭✭✭Dolbhad


    SMdPP87 wrote: »
    Hi, thanks for reply. We have lived in the area for many years and I really hate the location of the house. I convinced myself it would be fine for months during the sales process. But the moment I moved in this wave of realisation came over me that I was wrong. Coupled with the thoughts of properties we possibly could have afford (and which continue to come on, I’m on daft every hour). I’ve just spent the past 24 hours reading our mortgage terms and trying to see how soon/if at at possible we could sell and trying to understand all that goes with it. I feel I need to understand the facts before I consider raising it with my SO and family. How long before you managed to get out of your previous property?

    You can sell your house tomorrow if you want to. And probably would get more than you paid to offset your costs and any breakage clause from bank if you are on a fixed rate. The main catch might be got a second time buyer so will
    Need a 20% deposit. Have a chat with your solicitor and they will advise you on what you need to think about.

    You shouldn’t have a plan set in stone before you talk to your SO. Let them know how your feeling - they may already know or feel the same. You can then look into the market and see if anything comes up you can secure.

    Yes we are lucky to have a house but they doesn’t mean you can’t have issues or not feel okay about the house your in. It’s rare to have a “forever” home and some people might have a few on their lifetime.

    But buyers remorse is a thing! We are only 7 months into our house and can’t afford to do anything so still the same as when we bought it so feels still like I’m renting the house and it’s not ours yet. We had our purchase done in about 8 weeks - I had gone sale agreed without my SO having seen it. So it was a bit of a Jesus Christ what have we done.

    So maybe focus on the rest of the year in the house and then see how you are. And if you see the same, sell and find something else.


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    #74
    SMdPP87
    Registered Users Posts: 29 ✭SMdPP87


    Dolbhad wrote: »
    You can sell your house tomorrow if you want to. And probably would get more than you paid to offset your costs and any breakage clause from bank if you are on a fixed rate. The main catch might be got a second time buyer so will
    Need a 20% deposit. Have a chat with your solicitor and they will advise you on what you need to think about.

    You shouldn’t have a plan set in stone before you talk to your SO. Let them know how your feeling - they may already know or feel the same. You can then look into the market and see if anything comes up you can secure.

    Yes we are lucky to have a house but they doesn’t mean you can’t have issues or not feel okay about the house your in. It’s rare to have a “forever” home and some people might have a few on their lifetime.

    But buyers remorse is a thing! We are only 7 months into our house and can’t afford to do anything so still the same as when we bought it so feels still like I’m renting the house and it’s not ours yet. We had our purchase done in about 8 weeks - I had gone sale agreed without my SO having seen it. So it was a bit of a Jesus Christ what have we done.

    So maybe focus on the rest of the year in the house and then see how you are. And if you see the same, sell and find something else.

    Thanks for those kind words, that’s good advice ðŸ‘


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    #75
    Yellow_Fern
    Registered Users Posts: 2,576 ✭✭✭Yellow_Fern


    Dolbhad wrote: »
    Although we are living in Cork city, we don’t have broadband nearby so have satellite internet (which we knew beforehand) but pretty much no phone reception. Luckily neither of us work from home and wouldn’t have stopped us buying the house but wished I’d given more thought to living in a black hole for technology. Hoping I’m a few years broadband comes in as new estates already have planning approved to be built

    When you get fibre, you can run your mobile signal off that. But if you dont want to wait you can get a phone repeater made in Waterford. Not cheap but they really do work.


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    #76
    Dolbhad
    Registered Users Posts: 782 ✭✭✭Dolbhad


    Yellow_Fern wrote: »
    When you get fibre, you can run your mobile signal off that. But if you dont want to wait you can get a phone repeater made in Waterford. Not cheap but they really do work.


    Yes I’m hoping once fibre is in, I can do that. Never heard of a phone repeater so I’ll look into that. I didn’t think it would be this bad considering we still are in the “city” but that’s Ireland for you!

    Thank you for the heads up n


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    #77
    gogo
    Registered Users Posts: 1,452 ✭✭✭gogo


    Friend of mine is in her new house approx 9/10mth, she was on leave last week and said she tackle the garden and the half finished rockery that was covered in bramble & bushes… it’s not a rockery, it’s a mountain of rubbish, that was tarped over and hidden under bramble - they are on their second skip and it’s still not cleared. Funny part is the person they bought it off, his family are still next door and are very friendly, they must have known they were dumping rubbish down the garden.. remote area, private house. She said they’ve been keeping their head down since the skip arrived..she’s livid, holidays from work spent moving years old rubbish


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    #78
    Cash_Q
    Registered Users Posts: 1,920 ✭✭✭Cash_Q


    SMdPP87 wrote:
    I’ve a pain in my stomach thinking we did the wrong thing. I really feel like I hate this house. I can’t see myself ever being happy here.

    I just lie awake at night wishing I could hand the keys back and hold out for a property I’m more sure about to come on.


    If you've read through the thread you may have seen my post; although we did have fairly serious reasons to move that are different to your own reasons.. I was in denial for a long time, making excuses for the neighbours, saying it wouldn't last forever, but my husband just couldn't settle. He hated it and if it wasn't for his encouragement we would probably still be there. He was miserable and I dismissed it for a year, then for another year we toyed with the idea of moving but felt we could never save the 20%, then we had enough and got serious about moving and contacted the bank. They told us what we owed on the mortgage and how much we could borrow on a new mortgage, so that gave us an idea of the minimum we could sell for while factoring in enough extra to contribute towards 20% for the next purchase, and fees etc. We got the house valued and the EA said "It'll either work out or it won't, but you won't know unless you try" and he was so right.

    Once you sell for enough to redeem your mortgage, the bank don't care when or why you sell. If you are on a fixed rate of interest for a certain number of years you will have to pay a breakage fee. For example we fixed for 5 years and sold after 2.5 years. We were charged just under 5k but I've heard of others (on boards actually) paying almost 10k. Our bank were vague about this the entire way through until the documents reached our solicitor so try to get clearer information so you're not in for a shock if this applies to you.

    You may feel nervous about approaching the subject with your partner, but to be honest I would be more upset in their shoes if you went around contacting the bank/EAs behind their back while they're oblivious to your feelings. It's possible that they have similar feelings but you won't know if you don't approach the subject. Just talk about it and see what happens.

    You don't need to say anything to extended family until you're ready. My parents thought we were mad, dismissed the idea for ages until we put the house on the market and they realised we were serious.

    You don't have to put a sign outside the house either. We didn't, our nosy neighbour realised what was happening fairly quickly but the dodgy ones didn't seem to.

    We have friends that bought a stunning new build, spent a lot of money on beautiful finishes, but the noise from a busy road beside them was too much to take, so they sold. They had to redeem some Help to Buy funding and had to buy a fixer upper, but they got out because they were unhappy. They love their new home and they certainly inspired us that it was possible. We are so happy in this house.

    If you know deep down that you're not happy, then get out. Life is too short to be miserable just because something didn't work out the way you hoped it would.


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    #79
    niniboots
    Registered Users Posts: 64 ✭✭niniboots


    That's some really nice support & feedback above, & in earlier posts....I started reading this as we pulled out of sale just at the finish line and I was having serious back & forward conversations about the decision, after not buy regrets. Some have said it was right choice, others think we are mad, it's a housing crisis and everyone panicking, buying & bidding up just add to the mania we were feeling. However in the end we had to live there and with the decision, no one else. Everyone becomes an expert on your life but it's easy from a distance.
    I mention this only as well meaning family and friends were some of the biggest culprits. If you can't see yourself living and more importantly thriving in that home you have already made the right choice. Maybe the piece your missing is saying it openly to your meaningful people in your life and then creating a plan. Beginnings and endings are also tough. It's entirely normal to feel stressed and strange, even if the new beginning is the thing you wanted and strived for. Buying & selling is also one of the most stressful life experiences and add in the other unknowns, bad neighbours, noisy area, problems with house then all the white picket fairy tales soon diminish. It's why there is so much chatter on these boards, shared experiences the good & bad of buying selling, moving.

    I make emotional decisions and trust my gut instincts, my SO is very practical and weighs up financial etc., etc. It seem's you know heart wise that you won't settle in the house you purchased but head wise there are financial considerations. Someone has already mentioned taking it in stages, so yes I'd encourage to stop cold turkey the Daft search, My Home etc., it does become habit forming and probably adds to your anxiety. Then formulate a plan with your partner to move In the future. If you set short term goals it's more helpful than thinking it's 2 or 3 years away. Your house (by all market accounts at moment) will hold it's value for that time and you can save the additional you need to move.

    Best of luck


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    #80
    AngryLips
    Registered Users Posts: 2,680 ✭✭✭AngryLips


    I think it's a good idea to listen to your gut instinct if that gut instinct is about the property/location itself. But if you're getting bad feelings related to the price you're about to pay or the prospect of actually buying a house then that's just pre-purchase jitters and should be ignored.


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    #81
    SMdPP87
    Registered Users Posts: 29 ✭SMdPP87


    Cash_Q wrote: »
    If you've read through the thread you may have seen my post; although we did have fairly serious reasons to move that are different to your own reasons.. I was in denial for a long time, making excuses for the neighbours, saying it wouldn't last forever, but my husband just couldn't settle. He hated it and if it wasn't for his encouragement we would probably still be there. He was miserable and I dismissed it for a year, then for another year we toyed with the idea of moving but felt we could never save the 20%, then we had enough and got serious about moving and contacted the bank. They told us what we owed on the mortgage and how much we could borrow on a new mortgage, so that gave us an idea of the minimum we could sell for while factoring in enough extra to contribute towards 20% for the next purchase, and fees etc. We got the house valued and the EA said "It'll either work out or it won't, but you won't know unless you try" and he was so right.

    Once you sell for enough to redeem your mortgage, the bank don't care when or why you sell. If you are on a fixed rate of interest for a certain number of years you will have to pay a breakage fee. For example we fixed for 5 years and sold after 2.5 years. We were charged just under 5k but I've heard of others (on boards actually) paying almost 10k. Our bank were vague about this the entire way through until the documents reached our solicitor so try to get clearer information so you're not in for a shock if this applies to you.

    You may feel nervous about approaching the subject with your partner, but to be honest I would be more upset in their shoes if you went around contacting the bank/EAs behind their back while they're oblivious to your feelings. It's possible that they have similar feelings but you won't know if you don't approach the subject. Just talk about it and see what happens.

    You don't need to say anything to extended family until you're ready. My parents thought we were mad, dismissed the idea for ages until we put the house on the market and they realised we were serious.

    You don't have to put a sign outside the house either. We didn't, our nosy neighbour realised what was happening fairly quickly but the dodgy ones didn't seem to.

    We have friends that bought a stunning new build, spent a lot of money on beautiful finishes, but the noise from a busy road beside them was too much to take, so they sold. They had to redeem some Help to Buy funding and had to buy a fixer upper, but they got out because they were unhappy. They love their new home and they certainly inspired us that it was possible. We are so happy in this house.

    If you know deep down that you're not happy, then get out. Life is too short to be miserable just because something didn't work out the way you hoped it would.

    To be honest, I admire you for being brave in making that decision. Everyone’s advice here has been great, thank you. Although I feel like I’m in a prison and overwhelmed by recently taking on this massive debt, I need to try and refocus how I’m thinking. The positive is that we could sell this house, and likely not at a loss, in the near future. I think I’ll work to try and get a bit more settled and review things in 6 months.


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    #82
    gmisk
    Registered Users Posts: 31,880 ✭✭✭✭gmisk


    gogo wrote: »
    Friend of mine is in her new house approx 9/10mth, she was on leave last week and said she tackle the garden and the half finished rockery that was covered in bramble & bushes… it’s not a rockery, it’s a mountain of rubbish, that was tarped over and hidden under bramble - they are on their second skip and it’s still not cleared. Funny part is the person they bought it off, his family are still next door and are very friendly, they must have known they were dumping rubbish down the garden.. remote area, private house. She said they’ve been keeping their head down since the skip arrived..she’s livid, holidays from work spent moving years old rubbish
    I was left with an attic full of rubbish I wasn't expecting.

    But the real kicker was the back garden it was like something from a Tim Burton film.
    I thought be grand just brambles etc.
    It took 40 plus wheelbarrows through the house to get rid of the crap dumped - including an entire kitchen!

    But hey it's worth it in the end.
    5 years on house is in great condition.


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    #83
    Francie Barrett
    Registered Users Posts: 16,388 ✭✭✭✭Francie Barrett


    Sometimes these things go the other way.

    My son bought a house awhile back. It belonged to an elderly lady who had died there. As you can imagine with an elderly owner, it hadn't been modernised in decades and was full of crap. It was supposed to be cleared but her no good lazy son didn't bother, he just wanted the house sold so he could get the cash. Even though clearing the house was a condition of sale, my son didn't think to stop the sale. The price was decent and for the sake of a few hundred quid to get a skip, he said he'd just clear it himself. Himself and myself spent two days clearing it. Vast majority of the contents were either put into the skip or given away on done deal. We did find something that made it worth while, and then some.

    In the attic we found a box that looked like it had been untouched in years. It contained some personal belongs of what we assume were the elderly lady's previous deceased husband, but also a small 5 figure sum worth of gold and silver.


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    #84
    zom
    Registered Users Posts: 1,908 ✭✭✭zom


    gogo wrote: »
    it’s not a rockery, it’s a mountain of rubbish
    Do they have rear/side access to this garden? I know people who moved 4 skips through their house (mid-terrace) and the other ones who used CRANE to clean their garden and in same operation bring prefab shed/gazebo there (was even scared to ask how much crane cost them). Rear access is a blessing if you have big back garden.


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    #85
    Everlong1
    Registered Users Posts: 883 ✭✭✭Everlong1


    I bought a 2 up 2 down terraced house about 12 years ago. Looked lovely when I viewed it and in fairness it is a decent enough house. After a few years living there though I felt something wasn't right about it. Eventually came to the conclusion that I'd spent years living in bedsits and apartments and was used to having everything on one level. Now I have to run up a flight of stairs every time I need to take a leak etc.

    Realise now what I really should have bought was a cottage or bungalow. Probably an apartment ideally but I always steered clear of apartments as too many potential problems with bad neighbours and dodgy builds etc. Current masterplan is to sell the place after I retire and then buy that dream cottage somewhere.


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    #86
    Dolbhad
    Registered Users Posts: 782 ✭✭✭Dolbhad


    niniboots wrote: »
    That's some really nice support & feedback above, & in earlier posts....I started reading this as we pulled out of sale just at the finish line and I was having serious back & forward conversations about the decision, after not buy regrets. Some have said it was right choice, others think we are mad, it's a housing crisis and everyone panicking, buying & bidding up just add to the mania we were feeling. However in the end we had to live there and with the decision, no one else. Everyone becomes an expert on your life but it's easy from a distance.
    I mention this only as well meaning family and friends were some of the biggest culprits. If you can't see yourself living and more importantly thriving in that home you have already made the right choice. Maybe the piece your missing is saying it openly to your meaningful people in your life and then creating a plan. Beginnings and endings are also tough. It's entirely normal to feel stressed and strange, even if the new beginning is the thing you wanted and strived for. Buying & selling is also one of the most stressful life experiences and add in the other unknowns, bad neighbours, noisy area, problems with house then all the white picket fairy tales soon diminish. It's why there is so much chatter on these boards, shared experiences the good & bad of buying selling, moving.

    I make emotional decisions and trust my gut instincts, my SO is very practical and weighs up financial etc., etc. It seem's you know heart wise that you won't settle in the house you purchased but head wise there are financial considerations. Someone has already mentioned taking it in stages, so yes I'd encourage to stop cold turkey the Daft search, My Home etc., it does become habit forming and probably adds to your anxiety. Then formulate a plan with your partner to move In the future. If you set short term goals it's more helpful than thinking it's 2 or 3 years away. Your house (by all market accounts at moment) will hold it's value for that time and you can save the additional you need to move.

    Best of luck

    I was in this position. We were sale agreed on a new build just before everything want mad. I wasn’t feeling it but it ticked most boxes. However I knew it wouldn’t be a forever home and I wouldn’t want to be there long term. My SO was like yours.

    No one understood why I didn’t go ahead but I just knew it in my gut. It took us two years after to find it home and it’s a second hand house with a pile of work needed. But I knew it when I saw it and made the offer there and then even without the SO seeing it. However for those 2 years I was so worried I made a mistake.

    Hope your home is just around the corner and you are so right, you have to live in the house so trust your gut.


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    #87
    niniboots
    Registered Users Posts: 64 ✭✭niniboots


    Dolbhad wrote: »
    I was in this position. We were sale agreed on a new build just before everything want mad. I wasn’t feeling it but it ticked most boxes. However I knew it wouldn’t be a forever home and I wouldn’t want to be there long term. My SO was like yours.

    No one understood why I didn’t go ahead but I just knew it in my gut. It took us two years after to find it home and it’s a second when house with a pile of work needed. But I knew it when I saw it and made the offer there and then even without the SO seeing it. However for those 2 years I was so worried I made a mistake.

    Hope your home is just around the corner and you are so right, you have to live in the house so trust your gut.

    Thank you, I actually needed to read this today so glad you found your home, hope ours is out there too. :)


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    #88
    C14N
    Registered Users Posts: 2,656 ✭✭✭C14N


    Caranica wrote: »
    Only valid as of the last census and well out of date in urban areas. Use it for work.

    True, but you can also compare against the property price register to see if there have been many sales nearby. In the place I'm looking in Dublin there is only one house in the surrounding area bought since then. Obviously age demographics will have shifted a few years and if it's a high level of renters it could have shifted a fair bit, but otherwise it should be sound.
    Jmc25 wrote: »
    Honestly to anyone buying, do this. 9 times out of 10 you'll be fine without our but don't take that chance.

    Particularly about knocking on the door for a chat about literally anything. You'll get a vibe within 30 seconds that will save you 20 years of bother.

    How do you approach people like this? Do you just knock on the door and say "we're thinking of buying that house there, what's the area like?". I'd really like to know neighbours at least a bit before committing to buying anything, but also a bit reluctant to do it during covid times when people might not want strange visitor unexpectedly turning up.
    Tork wrote: »
    I think you'd help your situation enormously if you stopped going near Daft or other property websites, looking in estate agent windows or keeping an eye on what's for sale now. I can't see how doing that is going to do anything other than make you even more miserable than you already are. Until you can sell your existing house (which I think you need to do), you are in no position to be able to buy something else. Looking at what you could have bought or would like to buy now is nothing but a means of self-flagellation.

    100% this. My partner used to do a similar thing before we started looking together. She'd browse Daft for hours on end looking at properties and making herself feel down at how little she could even afford by herself. It got her nowhere. She had no intention of even looking for mortgage approval at the time. If you aren't currently in the market to buy or sell, you're doing yourself no favours by browsing around property ads.


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    #89
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 14,344 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    C14N wrote: »
    How do you approach people like this? Do you just knock on the door and say "we're thinking of buying that house there, what's the area like?". I'd really like to know neighbours at least a bit before committing to buying anything, but also a bit reluctant to do it during covid times when people might not want strange visitor unexpectedly turning up.


    "How are ye getting on? I was looking at buying the house next door, and the estate agent was saying the neighbours were a bunch of ****, so i just wanted to have a look for myself".


    Really, though, just lie and say you were told by a friend of a friend that the next door neighbour had a planning dispute about the garden or something and you were getting fuzzy details, and were just looking to see if that side was the neighbour with the issue or were you just hearing rumours or lies.

    Of course they'll have no idea what you're talking about, but it'll give you the 60 seconds that you need to make a somewhat informed decision.

    Or throw a hi-vis on and call up with a letter for Mary McMaryson and ask does she live there. They'll say no, and you can ask do they know where she lives and they'll point around vaguely without giving any real instruction. Again, gives you the minute or two that it takes to make a gut decision.

    Or get a Garda hat and knock the front door loudly. If they go out the back window, probably not a great neighbour. :D


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    #90
    houseyhouse
    Registered Users Posts: 686 ✭✭✭houseyhouse


    Deleted User wrote: »
    "How are ye getting on? I was looking at buying the house next door, and the estate agent was saying the neighbours were a bunch of ****, so i just wanted to have a look for myself".


    Really, though, just lie and say you were told by a friend of a friend that the next door neighbour had a planning dispute about the garden or something and you were getting fuzzy details, and were just looking to see if that side was the neighbour with the issue or were you just hearing rumours or lies.

    Of course they'll have no idea what you're talking about, but it'll give you the 60 seconds that you need to make a somewhat informed decision.

    Or throw a hi-vis on and call up with a letter for Mary McMaryson and ask does she live there. They'll say no, and you can ask do they know where she lives and they'll point around vaguely without giving any real instruction. Again, gives you the minute or two that it takes to make a gut decision.

    Or get a Garda hat and knock the front door loudly. If they go out the back window, probably not a great neighbour. :D

    The high vis/postman/garda routing makes it a bit awkward if you buy the house and they recognise you though :o


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    #91
    Bass Reeves
    Registered Users Posts: 18,188 ✭✭✭✭Bass Reeves


    houseyhouse wrote: »
    The high vis/postman/garda routing makes it a bit awkward if you buy the house and they recognise you though :o

    You can do an impression of the General, baseball or ski cap, sunglasses and a face mask

    Slava Ukrainii



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