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Discussion on sexism

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Comments

  • #302
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,853 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    Leg End Reject wrote: »
    So basically we all need to be "educated" to change our opinions to suit a minority of posters.

    Perhaps the majority aren't wrong?
    Sweetemotion wrote: »
    Trolls feed off the forever offended, and the forever offended, feed off the trolls. Both are better off being ignored.
    CtevenSrowder wrote: »
    You can't ignore the forever offended when they push and push and push to have robust debate completely sanitized to their liking though.
    Leg End Reject wrote: »
    We've also been accused of supporting the now famous post because we didn't find it misogynistic or sexist. So, clearly there are only 2 options - agree with anewme or you're supporting it.

    Accusations of dishonesty and misreprenting posts too.
    Sweetemotion wrote: »
    You can ignore them and if more people did, they can push and push and push all they like.
    knucklehead6 wrote: »
    No. Why ignore them when you can engage them in debate and counter argument. If everyone was ignoring anewme and pwurple then this thread would be them telling the mods and admins about their issues with the Dubai 2 thread in particular and isms in general without anyone else saying, ehhh no.
    Sweetemotion wrote: »
    It's a power trip, nothing else.


    All they have is isims and wanting to police peoples views and educate them on said isms. Should be ignored and if not ignored, ridiculed.

    One of the main concerns raised in the Ladies Lounge thread was that women posting a dissenting opinion are dismissed, gaslighted, rounded on, ridiculed and driven away in a hostile way.

    Now, I will ask that the moderators consider what women said in that thread and read the above exchange , which are one after the other, with allegations of trolling, personal comments, power trips, claiming to be victims, perpetually offended, culminating with "they", should be ignored or ridiculed.

    Given that this is a feedback thread, it is even more concerning that there should be a drive to openly ridicule posters.

    I will ask that this be considered as part of the review.


  • #303
    knucklehead6
    Registered Users Posts: 6,734 ✭✭✭knucklehead6


    anewme wrote: »
    One of the main concerns raised in the Ladies Lounge thread was that women posting a dissenting opinion are dismissed, gaslighted, rounded on, ridiculed and driven away in a hostile way.

    Now, I will ask that the moderators consider what women said in that thread and read the above exchange , which are one after the other, with allegations of trolling, personal comments, power trips, claiming to be victims, perpetually offended, culminating with "they", should be ignored or ridiculed.

    Given that this is a feedback thread, it is even more concerning that there should be a drive to openly ridicule posters.

    I will ask that this be considered as part of the review.

    You missed my next post, saying no one should be ridiculed.

    One poster mentioned it, that is not “a drive”. That is a comment by one person.

    EDIT.

    Oh, by the way, my post that you’ve quoted specifically says NOT to ignore the dissenting voices, but engage with them.

    END EDIT


  • #304
    Sweetemotion
    Registered Users Posts: 2,497 ✭✭✭Sweetemotion


    knucklehead6 wrote: »
    I wouldn’t be up for ridiculing them. Then they have the option of reporting for bullying.

    Trying to ridicule someone can end up with shooting yourself in the foot like pwurple did earlier on. Attempting to take the high ground but resorting to smart arsed comments, which ended up backfiring on her.

    I knew the word redicule, would attract this reply.

    How else do you respond to someone, who wants to reeducate and police people's views?


  • #305
    banie01
    Registered Users Posts: 16,440 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    pwurple wrote: »
    You know, a repetitive minority is not a majority.

    I don't know why youve directed that comment towards me?
    Ironically enough, that point would be just as pertinent if you turned it towards yourself.
    I'd also point out, that I've not mentioned majority or its being a justification for abuse.


  • #306
    knucklehead6
    Registered Users Posts: 6,734 ✭✭✭knucklehead6


    Sweetemotion wrote: »
    I knew the word redicule, would attract this reply.

    How else do respond to someone, who wants to reeducate and police people's views?

    Engage with them. Talk to them. Hope that they can understand your point of view while trying to understand theirs

    Anewme and pwurple have raised sexism as being prevalent on the site. I don’t see that. And where it is spotted it is dealt with, as in the thread that spawned this one. 61 reported posts, 40 actioned in one way or another before the thread was deleted.

    Where I take issue with them is what I saw as the attempt to define a set of rules and engage in thought policing.


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  • #307
    Leg End Reject
    Registered Users Posts: 16,313 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    anewme wrote: »
    One of the main concerns raised in the Ladies Lounge thread was that women posting a dissenting opinion are dismissed, gaslighted, rounded on, ridiculed and driven away in a hostile way.

    Now, I will ask that the moderators consider what women said in that thread and read the above exchange , which are one after the other, with allegations of trolling, personal comments, power trips, claiming to be victims, perpetually offended, culminating with "they", should be ignored or ridiculed.

    Given that this is a feedback thread, it is even more concerning that there should be a drive to openly ridicule posters.

    I will ask that this be considered as part of the review.

    You continously question others who disagree with you, ridicule them and accuse them of being dishonest, ignore parts of posts and entire posts etc. You've accused posters of supporting a post because we don't think it's misogynistic or sexist, and insisted that it was, therefore implying your opinion is the correct one.

    No one accused you of trolling, just that trolls get pleasure from extreme reactions.

    This isn't personal, it's a discussion.
    https://forumofgames.com/index.php

    >>> Staying Alive <<<



  • #308
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,853 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    knucklehead6 wrote: »
    I wouldn’t be up for ridiculing them. Then they have the option of reporting for bullying.

    Trying to ridicule someone can end up with shooting yourself in the foot like pwurple did earlier on. Attempting to take the high ground but resorting to smart arsed comments, which ended up backfiring on her.

    You do realise you are discussing your group strategy here?

    I am one of the two posters your group is referring to as them.

    I see you.


  • #309
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭[Deleted User]


    suppose I'll ask again just to ask again

    Is there an acceptable way to disagree with you on this?


  • #310
    Leg End Reject
    Registered Users Posts: 16,313 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    banie01 wrote: »
    I don't know why youve directed that comment towards me?
    Ironically enough, that point would be just as pertinent if you turned it towards yourself.
    I'd also point out, that I've not mentioned majority or its being a justification for abuse.

    It was me who mentioned a minority and majority. It was in relation to the views expressed in this thread.
    https://forumofgames.com/index.php

    >>> Staying Alive <<<



  • #311
    knucklehead6
    Registered Users Posts: 6,734 ✭✭✭knucklehead6


    anewme wrote: »
    You do realise you are discussing your group strategy here?

    I am one of the two posters your group is referring to as them.

    I see you.

    Jesus. Paranoid much????

    This is an example of what I’m referring to, your inability to see where a comment is about a specific person or a generalisation.
    My comments about not ridiculing were a generalisation. Not specifically directed at you. Even if you are making it hard not to ridicule you.


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  • #312
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,853 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    knucklehead6 wrote: »
    Is it really to much to ask that a thread that includes those points you mentioned are taken in context? There was a lot of anger at the two women, it was a contentious thread and the type that attracts trouble and troublemakers like moths to a flame.

    No one is saying that sexism isn’t present here. But trying to stifle conversation isn’t the way forward. Tokyo even said it him/herself. There were 21 unactioned reported posts all reported by one pissed off poster. That’s not someone engaging in debate. That someone taking offence at the mere thought that someone else disagrees with them.

    Its not about this thread only.

    Its about the thread in the Ladies Lounge where people are afraid to post for the exact pile on here.

    It's about the Ladies Fashions thread, talk about Camel toes and which are good or bad, and women being described as pigs who should not be out in public. It's about all of it.

    This is a feedback thread, it should not be used to pile on or bully posters and talk over them and about them as if they are not there.


  • #313
    banie01
    Registered Users Posts: 16,440 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    Leg End Reject wrote: »
    It was me who mentioned a minority and majority. It was in relation to the views expressed in this thread.

    Oh I know, but pwurple quoted me in a manner that seemed to direct it towards me but in a manner unrelated to the snip of my post quoted.


  • #314
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭[Deleted User]


    anewme wrote: »
    Its not about this thread only.

    Its about the thread in the Ladies Lounge where people are afraid to post for the exact pile on here.

    It's about the Ladies Fashions thread, talk about Camel toes and which are good or bad, and women being described as pigs who should not be out in public. It's about all of it.

    This is a feedback thread, it should not be used to pile on or bully posters and talk over them and about them as if they are not there.

    Nobody is being bullied or piled on here. There are just a lot of people disagreeing with you but that isn't bullying.


  • #315
    knucklehead6
    Registered Users Posts: 6,734 ✭✭✭knucklehead6


    anewme wrote: »
    Its not about this thread only.

    Its about the thread in the Ladies Lounge where people are afraid to post for the exact pile on here.

    It's about the Ladies Fashions thread, talk about Camel toes and which are good or bad, and women being described as pigs who should not be out in public. It's about all of it.

    This is a feedback thread, it should not be used to pile on or bully posters and talk over them about them as if they are not there.

    I’ll be honest with you, I don’t post in the ladies lounge, and my sartorial “expertise” certainly doesn’t qualify me to comment on ladies fashions.

    No one is talking about you as if you aren’t here anewme, no one is bullying you, no one is talking over you.


  • #316
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,853 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    99nsr125 wrote: »
    You're constantly trying to backseat moderate that in itself is sanctionable

    There is a certain maturity in accepting that you are wrong nobody likes being wrong but it's part of being an adult

    Stop telling me what I'm trying to do.

    As regards maturity, what type of adult says that all women are nuts.?


  • #317
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,853 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    knucklehead6 wrote: »
    You missed my next post, saying no one should be ridiculed.

    One poster mentioned it, that is not “a drive”. That is a comment by one person.

    EDIT.

    Oh, by the way, my post that you’ve quoted specifically says NOT to ignore the dissenting voices, but engage with them.

    END EDIT

    I didnt "miss" it.

    It wasn't there when I was posting my reply.

    Your words speak for themselves.

    Now, what you actually said was;

    I wouldn’t be up for ridiculing them. Then they have the option of reporting for bullying.

    So your concern is not that anyone should not be ridiculed.

    It's based on the sentence that follows- "Then "they" have the option of reporting for bullying.


  • #318
    pjohnson
    Registered Users Posts: 23,099 ✭✭✭✭pjohnson


    anewme wrote: »
    You do realise you are discussing your group strategy here?

    I am one of the two posters your group is referring to as them.

    I see you.

    "Group strategy" "your group"

    What?


  • #319
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,853 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    Leg End Reject wrote: »

    This isn't personal, it's a discussion.

    I'll leave that with the Mods.


  • #320
    knucklehead6
    Registered Users Posts: 6,734 ✭✭✭knucklehead6


    anewme wrote: »
    I didnt "miss" it.

    It wasn't there when I was posting my reply.

    Your words speak for themselves.

    Now, what you actually said was;

    I wouldn’t be up for ridiculing them. Then they have the option of reporting for bullying.

    So your concern is not that anyone should not be ridiculed.

    It's based on the sentence that follows- "Then "they" have the option of reporting for bullying.

    Ok, I’ll explain my train of thought here for you.

    If someone is disagreeing with you, engage with them. Have a civil conversation. If you ridicule them then you lose whatever moral high ground you think you are on. And it gives them the option of reporting you for bullying, further eroding whatever moral high ground you think you are on.

    That’s the way I was thinking when I wrote that post. It was not directed in any way at you, the poster known as anewme. It was not saying “well the only reason I wouldn’t ridicule someone is because they can report me”. Everyone else on here seems to have understood that.

    EDIT

    look at the replies to pwurple post earlier on when she tried to ridicule me. Anyone who replied was saying how she had not helped her point of view.

    END EDIT


  • #321
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,853 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    and in the morning Diamonds of Frost wrote: »
    Nobody is being bullied or piled on here. There are just a lot of people disagreeing with you but that isn't bullying.

    Really? You dont see the stream of posts alleging power trips, or perpetually offended, or being ridiculed as being in the spirit of genuine discussion surely?


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  • #322
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,853 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    knucklehead6 wrote: »

    Even if you are making it hard not to ridicule you.

    D'ont you even try.


  • #323
    knucklehead6
    Registered Users Posts: 6,734 ✭✭✭knucklehead6


    anewme wrote: »
    D'ont you even try.

    I wouldn’t. As you’ve been at pains to point out, this is a feedback thread. If I wanted to ridicule you this is neither the time nor the place.

    Anyway, I’ve work tomorrow, a dog to walk at 5:30am and I’m on toddler duty tonight so I’ll leave you lovely people to your discourse and will pop back tomorrow if the thread is still open.


  • #324
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,853 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    knucklehead6 wrote: »
    I wouldn’t. As you’ve been at pains to point out, this is a feedback thread. If I wanted to ridicule you this is neither the time nor the place.

    If ...indicates you would be able or qualified.

    Previous point applies.

    Dont even try.

    Any place, any time.


  • #325
    Sweetemotion
    Registered Users Posts: 2,497 ✭✭✭Sweetemotion


    anewme wrote: »
    If ...indicates you would be able or qualified.

    Previous point applies.

    Dont even try.

    Any place, any time.


    Oh dear god.


  • #326
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,853 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    Sweetemotion wrote: »
    Oh dear god.

    Indeed.


  • #327
    pwurple
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    banie01 wrote: »
    I don't know why youve directed that comment towards me?

    It wasn’t towards you, that comment should have been before the quote.

    Is that your only response to the content of my post? The rest was too uncomfortable?


    You know, boards doesn’t exist in a parallel universe here. We have responsibilities to our community outside this bubble.


    Days after I raised an issue about the stream of comments describing women’s bodies in running clothes in highly sexualised and degrading ways, a woman jogging in Dublin was attacked. I will remind others that you don’t even have to log in to read the material being posted here.

    Graham Dwyer was a member here though iirc.


    Of all nations , we Irish have it branded on our memories what happens when we sweep sexualised abuse towards anyone under the carpet. Decades of it being ignored, erased from records, people silently reproached and moved on with no policy, no guidance on how to handle it. Discretion was the order of the day.


    Who amoung us these days still thinks that is a good idea? Because we have a history and a culture of handling any sexual abuses this way. Repeating these mistakes. Sticking heads in the sand and pretending it doesn’t exist.


    Openness, transparency and having a clear policy on sexualised abuse is, these days, understood to be best practice.


    Let’s see what boards can improve.


  • #328
    CtevenSrowder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,909 ✭✭✭CtevenSrowder


    anewme wrote: »
    One of the main concerns raised in the Ladies Lounge thread was that women posting a dissenting opinion are dismissed, gaslighted, rounded on, ridiculed and driven away in a hostile way.

    .

    'women' posting dissenting opinion. Again seeing everything through the lens of gender. I don't give a bollox that you are a women, anewme, and if you were a man posting what you are I'd have the same views. This is what I mean by perpetually offended. You are looking for offense, you want to be offended! No-one cares that you are a women!

    Are suggesting a man would get different responses?

    It clearly obvious that the majority here do not want any changes, and boards/the mods should not give in to a minority who want change when the majority do not. The moderation broadly speaking is fine, and the don't be a dick rule has worked and is working.


  • #329
    CtevenSrowder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,909 ✭✭✭CtevenSrowder


    Mentions Graham Dwyer. Scraping the barrel at this stage.


  • #330
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,853 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    CtevenSrowder wrote: »
    'women' posting dissenting opinion. Again seeing everything through the lens of gender. I don't give a bollox that your a women, and if you were a man posting what you are I'd have the same views. This is what I mean by perpetually offended. You are looking for offense, you want to be offended. Noone cares that you are a women. Get over it.

    The concerns raised were from women.

    They are allowed to raise concerns if they believe warranted. That was the point of TLL Lounge thread.

    The tone of your posts here in a feedback thread indicate that yes, the concerns are totally valid.

    The language, style, choice of words, tone are constantly over agressive un necessary and hostile. Is it any wonder people wont post?

    Now, at this point, I am officially requesting that you direct further feedback that you have to the Mods.


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  • #331
    CtevenSrowder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,909 ✭✭✭CtevenSrowder


    anewme wrote: »
    The concerns raised were from women.

    They are allowed to raise concerns if they believe warranted.

    The tone of your posts here in a feedback thread indicate that yes, the concerns are totally valid.

    Your language, style, choice of words, tone are over agressive un necessary and hostile.

    Now, at this point, I am requesting that you direct further feedback to the Mods on this thread.

    haha jesus you are very quick. Yes I posted and saw my tone was not how I intended. I went back and edited but you've already seen the post!

    If you could please read my updated post.

    I asked, if you were a man do you think you'd be getting different responses?


This discussion has been closed.
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