Hiking as a first date with an online dating match - dangerous?

Faith · 23-12-2020 11:48PM

YellowLead wrote: »

Each to their own this has never happened to me so I guess if it does then I’ll change my approach!

Gosh, you’re either exceptionally lucky or you’re new to the online dating world? I met a handful of dates through online dating before I was married and I completely failed to click with 95% of them. Most I knew as soon as I saw them in person, a couple took a while chatting over coffee to know. If it wasn’t that they looked totally different in real life it was that our personalities weren’t matched.

I’d personally run a mile from any first date that I couldn’t get out of quickly. I’ll never forget meeting a guy in a nightclub donkeys years ago - he was Italian and GORGEOUS and I couldn’t wait to go out with him. But he turned out to be awful when I met him and I made my excuses and left as quickly as I could. I’d only ever agree to a coffee or a drink personally - something that can be as short or as long as you both want it to be.

Airyfairy12 · 23-12-2020 11:54PM

You might think you know and trust him but you dont really know him. It could be a nice idea for a date after a few weeks of dating but straight off the bat is madness. Can you go for a walk through town instead? Get a takeaway coffee or something?

RurtBeynolds · 24-12-2020 12:01AM

A hike won't be much fun if you're wearing a face mask the whole time and keeping two metres apart.

cannotlogin · 24-12-2020 12:11AM

I wouldn't do it.

You don't know a person just from talking to them online so it's always a good idea to meet them somewhere that you can easily exit or be seen until you do.

The chances of him being anything other than normal are slim but Patrick Nevin's victims, the lady in Dun Laoghaoire who had her throat slit by a teenager, Grace Millane, etc all met their attacker online and all initially thought the person they were meeting was normal. All first dates.

Not a chance I would be taking until I knew someone better.

YellowLead · 24-12-2020 12:33AM

RurtBeynolds wrote: »

A hike won't be much fun if you're wearing a face mask the whole time and keeping two metres apart.

You don’t need a face mask if you are keeping 2 metres apart

24-12-2020 12:59AM

Have fun on your date OP. I hope the after date thread is as much fun.

24-12-2020 01:14AM

cannotlogin wrote: »

The chances of him being anything other than normal are slim but Patrick Nevin's victims, the lady in Dun Laoghaoire who had her throat slit by a teenager, Grace Millane, etc all met their attacker online and all initially thought the person they were meeting was normal. All first dates.

In fairness, that’s a bit melodramatic. It’s not like the OP has signed up to hike the Wicklow way with Larry Murphy.

She appears to have work-related connections with this chap. If he truly had malevolent intentions, he wouldn’t be freely sharing this name, place of employment, and other personal details.

As other posters have pointed out, the most ‘sinister’ possible outcome is that there won’t be any spark, which may lead to a slightly awkward couple of hours.

cannotlogin · 24-12-2020 01:19AM

Hamachi wrote: »

In fairness, that’s a bit melodramatic.

Each to their own. I don't think it's melodramatic at all. It's a list of example of cases where the women involved falsely thought the same as the OP.

I genuinely think the risk is extremely low but just not one I would be taking. A hike is a lovely date idea but what's wrong with a wiser choice for the earlier dates.

micah537 · 24-12-2020 01:39AM

If her date really is sinister, he could quiet easily turn on the charm if they just went for coffee or a different type date and then kill her at her home. It's unlikely that he'd have all the details of who he is or where they'll meet sent through messages just to do something evil, where he'll quickly get caught out. OP enjoy your date if you decide to go.

Jizique wrote: »

Even if the dog is an Alsatian or a Doberman?
.

What's your point about the dog breed exactly?
Surely your not so incredibly small minded and uneducated that you think they'll attack her?

Gekko · 24-12-2020 02:19AM

Hiking in the mountains seems a bit more like a second or third date activity than a first date one

Walk with takeaway coffee in a park or on beach...around Blessington Lake or in Glendalough where there are more people around and it’s more public would be more a first date thing I would’ve thought

Also this is Ireland in the winter so you also need it not to be blowing a gale or lashing rain ideally I guess for it to be reasonably comfortable

Jizique · 24-12-2020 02:23AM

micah537 wrote: »

If her date really is sinister, he could quiet easily turn on the charm if they just went for coffee or a different type date and then kill her at her home. It's unlikely that he'd have all the details of who he is or where they'll meet sent through messages just to do something evil, where he'll quickly get caught out. OP enjoy your date if you decide to go.

What's your point about the dog breed exactly?
Surely your not so incredibly small minded and uneducated that you think they'll attack her?

Well, even if comfortable with dogs, can you accept that there are differences between breeds?
If I was slightly uncomfortable about dogs to start with, I would be less comfortable going on a mountain hike with someone I didn’t know if they brought a large dog than a poodle or a smaller dog, esp if I felt that I needed to make my excuses and leave if I started to feel uncomfortable for any reason.
If that makes me small-minded, fine.

Covit · 24-12-2020 02:25AM

Brilliant first date just pack little extra like hunting knife and pepper spray .
id go as far as telling him him what’s in your back pack .
If he turns up it’s true love .

volchitsa · 24-12-2020 09:05AM

YellowLead wrote: »

Before I started the thread there was an element of doubt after my friends reaction, but having listened to the logic here - the positive comments that’s it’s not a bad idea, just take precautions I have my mind made up to continue. Even if there is probably more advice not to go, I wanted to hear both sides.
And I echo that about the dogs - I love dogs but don’t have any so it will be fun to hang out with somebody else’s. They will add to the conversation too.

How many dogs and what kind? I think unless they’re a dangerous breed or trained to attack (he isn’t a drug dealer I take it?!) then dogs are probably safety for you too, as most dogs would be upset by conflict or violence between their owner and anyone else. They’d bark and attract attention. If he meant you any harm I dont think he’d bring them. (Bring à few treats and if they’re like my dog they’ll probably be your friends for life.)

Dtp1979 · 24-12-2020 01:48PM

Covit wrote: »

Brilliant first date just pack little extra like hunting knife and pepper .

That’d only give you a head start on the run for your life.

Seriously op, eliminate all risk and go someone e more public

cj maxx · 24-12-2020 04:19PM

A bad idea for a first date imo.
More for the obvious chance of not clicking when face to face and not having a get out!
As others have suggested maybe a walk in (a busy) park.

Choosehowevr. · 24-12-2020 04:21PM

Cup of coffee and a chat

Walk away if you're not interested

kirving · 24-12-2020 04:37PM

Gekko wrote: »

...around Blessington Lake or in Glendalough where there are more people around and it’s more public would be more a first date thing I would’ve thought

Ticknock was far busier than Grafton Street for much of the lockdown. Hundreds of people about all day Saturday and Sunday.

My biggest issue with this would be finding parking in such a popular spot like that to be honest. Cycling there, I've seen plenty of what appear to be people on dates going for a wander.

wiggle16 · 26-12-2020 02:45AM

Mod:

As the OP's initial question has been resolved and the OP's date isn't for another few days (and of course because I am a complete killjoy) I am going to lock this thread for the moment. Thanks all for posting.

OP if you want to post an update after your date as you intended, please PM me and I can reopen the thread. Best of luck with your date and stay safe.

Nollaig shona a chairde

wiggle16 · 30-12-2020 06:40PM

Mod:

Thread reopened at OP's request.

YellowLead · 30-12-2020 06:49PM

I just wanted to report the hiking date went very well. There was no element of danger and he was the perfect gentleman so no need to watch out for reports of a missing person

I think it was the most fun I’ve had on a first date - the scenery was so beautiful and his dogs were so much fun, in addition to him being very interesting.
I don’t know how I shall go back to coffee/dinner/drink with others should things not progress, it will seem so dull.
Just to say - I am not advocating a hike with a total stranger, remember I knew where he works and he used to work at my company, so we know some mutual people.
There was never a fear for me that we would not get on as I had pre-established that via text/telephone conversation, only the unknown as to whether I would find him attractive and vice versa. I can report that we do and are planning another hike for date no. 2

Airyfairy12 · 30-12-2020 06:52PM

So happy to read this, really hope it works out for you

Tork · 30-12-2020 06:53PM

I'm glad it went well for you. It's nice to read some good news on boards at this somewhat depressing time. Enjoy the 2nd date.

volchitsa · 31-12-2020 01:23AM

That's lovely to hear - a cheery note in somewhat dark times.

Thanks for letting us know, and I hope it continues to go well for you, Yellowlead!

31-12-2020 01:27AM

What were the dogs like? Talk about burying the lede:-)

listermint · 31-12-2020 01:29AM

Best of luck to the pair of you. Hopefully it progresses well .

YellowLead · 31-12-2020 08:29AM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

What were the dogs like? Talk about burying the lede:-)

Dogs were super friendly and lovely. He told me he was bringing them so it wasn’t a surprise.

YellowLead · 31-12-2020 08:38AM

listermint wrote: »

Best of luck to the pair of you. Hopefully it progresses well .

Thanks for the lovely wishes. I’ve been on enough great first/second/10 dates to know they don’t always lead anywhere....but I remain hopeful that one day they will lead to somebody, who I like back, wanting to spend at least a couple of months in my company, while not dating others. Bit of a needle in a haystack type wish it seems, but one has to keep at it! I know there are needles there, they just require a lot of digging to find

Right now a second great date is my immediate wish

Katgurl · 05-01-2021 10:36AM

YellowLead wrote: »

Thanks for the lovely wishes. I’ve been on enough great first/second/10 dates to know they don’t always lead anywhere....but I remain hopeful that one day they will lead to somebody, who I like back, wanting to spend at least a couple of months in my company, while not dating others. Bit of a needle in a haystack type wish it seems, but one has to keep at it! I know there are needles there, they just require a lot of digging to find Right now a second great date is my immediate wish

Yippeeeeeee!!! You sound exactly like me four years ago, not bitter, still optimistic but also realistic. I hope he is your needle too. I'm marrying mine as soon as all this covid rubbish is over.

YellowLead · 05-01-2021 10:40AM

Katgurl wrote: »

Yippeeeeeee!!! You sound exactly like me four years ago, not bitter, still optimistic but also realistic. I hope he is your needle too. I'm marrying mine as soon as all this covid rubbish is over.

Thank you

And massive congratulations on your up coming wedding

We had a great second date (another hike with the dogs) and have planned a third for this weekend.

I like that description - not bitter, optimistic but realistic - it’s great to have reached this point where I can truly say I am that way.

Car99 · 05-01-2021 10:41AM

YellowLead wrote: »

Thanks for the lovely wishes. I’ve been on enough great first/second/10 dates to know they don’t always lead anywhere....but I remain hopeful that one day they will lead to somebody, who I like back, wanting to spend at least a couple of months in my company, while not dating others. Bit of a needle in a haystack type wish it seems, but one has to keep at it! I know there are needles there, they just require a lot of digging to find Right now a second great date is my immediate wish

If you roll around in the hay long enough you'll eventually feel a little prick. Then you'll have found your needle. Best of luck.

Hiking as a first date with an online dating match - dangerous?

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